Chapter 14
ISLA
What in the world am I doing?
I keep thinking it to myself as I carefully rummage through the box for lighter items to take out and set in the room that most likely will be the nursery in Vaughn’s beautiful modern home. It’s on the side of the lake that gets great morning sun.
Fortunately, he is in his home office for a video call with a scout who is currently in Sweden.
I’m kind of grateful that the last few days he has been very busy.
Meeting after meeting and strategy planning, which is why we haven’t spoken much.
Instead, he sent me the time of when the movers would arrive.
In truth, from what I have seen from afar, he seems content with his new role and maybe dare I say more relaxed than he was during his last season of playing hockey…
Then he looks at me and a shade of indescribable mixed feelings hits him.
Since the movers placed my stuff upstairs, I’ve been wondering how this situation will all play out. I can’t think clearly as my brain goes in multiple directions.
When my phone rings on the side table by the bed, I wobble over to answer because the screen flashes Briggs’s name.
“I’m outside. Let me in.” His curt tone has me huff a sound because I know what is about to come.
I’ve been lucky that Hadley and Connor have kept my brother at bay, telling him that he should give me some space and time. That was only going to last so long. “Okay,” I answer and pull up the app that Vaughn sent to me for the front gate and the house door.
I manage to walk down the stairs, recognizing that I’m a tad slower than I was even a week ago.
Opening the door, I’m greeted by my brother who charges in and instantly searches the area, probably for Vaughn.
“He isn’t within earshot,” I inform him.
“Fine,” he grits out. “I came to talk to you anyhow.”
I lead him to the living room, and we each find a spot on opposite ends of the sofa.
“Get on with it.” I must sound unenthused.
“What the hell, Isla? He waltzes back into town, and you just go along with moving in with him?”
I hold my hand up as if it could be an attempt to calm him.
“Trust me, this wasn’t part of the plan, but he makes a point.
He is the dad, and when the baby comes, then he has a right to be involved, and logistically, this probably makes sense as I can’t just hand over this little girl on a schedule the first few weeks, especially if I breastfeed.
It was never my intention to keep him from the baby, it was only I struggled to tell him. ”
Briggs rubs his eyes as he takes in my explanation. “Not going to lie. This feels like a bit of a betrayal that of all the people you choose to hook up with… it had to be him. But this is the situation we’re in.”
“No, this is the situation that I’m in. I kind of put myself here too,” I clarify.
“Admittedly, I’m relieved to hear that he didn’t know and hadn’t abandoned you. That is the only little speck of compassion that I’m going to give him. What happens now?”
My shoulders slacken a bit. “Truthfully, I don’t know. It’s kind of hard to focus when all I can think about is the fact that she can come any day now, and I have nothing ready because I wanted to wait until I knew this would be a healthy pregnancy just in case.”
“That makes sense. I’m trying to wrap my head around how to handle being in the same room when that asshole is around,” he nearly snarls and looks around the room to take in the décor which is quite basic yet chic, with a few boxes of baby furniture in the corner that just arrived.
It causes me to smile because I’m entertained.
“Briggs.” He doesn’t look at me. “Briggsy Chase,” I try again.
“Look at me.” He obeys like a child who needs to be explained why they’re in timeout.
“You have to find a way. He will be around. Maybe, just, I dunno, focus on your niece when you’re stuck in the same room for personal gatherings.
For hockey, I don’t know what you’ll do. ”
Guilt seems to hit him, and his silence plus my sibling intuition causes me to realize that there is more.
“I need to tell you something,” he starts, and it doesn’t feel great.
“There is a rather large chance that I won’t be signing with the Spinners for next season.
I’ll sign with another team, perhaps out in Seattle.
The paperwork hasn’t been completed yet, but I’ve been thinking about this since before Vaughn entered the picture. ”
“What?” I screech.
“I didn’t tell you yet because I didn’t want to upset you.”
My throat tightens as a cry builds. “You’re going to leave? You’re my only family here.”
He slides down the sofa to be closer to me and touches my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me. “First off, I’m keeping my house here, so every off-season, I’m here. And I’m not your only family here. Just look at everyone who is throwing you a baby shower this weekend. They love you as their own.”
Tears fall. “B-but you’re my brother,” I stutter.
He offers me a warm smile. “You always knew this was a chance, and I’m ready for a change.
I wouldn’t be much use helping you with my niece in a few months since I’ll be on the road.
But next summer? I’m all here. Isla, you’re growing your own family, whether that’s alone or with…
” He groans. “I can’t even say his name. ”
“Vaughn.” A firm voice causes our heads to shift to the opening between the step that leads to the living room and the open hall.
I roll my eyes, wondering what is about to transpire between my brother and the father of my baby.
“If you’re going to be in my house then you can say my name,” Vaughn adds.
Briggs stands. “Great, you’re here. Was hoping I could avoid you, but since you’re gracing us with your presence, then let’s have it out.”
“Geez, this isn’t some battle of honor, Briggs. Please, for the sake of the heavily pregnant lady here.” I hold up my hand. “Can we just calm it down a notch?”
“She’s right.” Vaughn steps down to be on our level. “So, what is it you want to say to me?”
“F-you.” He’s direct.
“Try harder,” I mutter to my brother.
Briggs’s jaw tenses. “Fine. My sister deserves the world, so don’t be an idiot.
Whether I stay in Lake Spark or not, you best believe I will be getting the full report on how you treat her and my niece.
To be honest, congratulations, because having you now be the GM just makes me more eager to sign elsewhere. ”
“I’m not talking hockey right now with you, so let’s keep the topic on Isla.”
“Then answer me,” Briggs volleys back.
Vaughn’s piercing gaze remains on Briggs. “You have my word. Now, if we can save the lecture for another day when I actually have patience for you, then I’m sure you can find your way out without the door hitting you in the ass. I need to chat with your sister.”
I stretch both of my arms out to my sides. “Both of you chill and accept that you eventually need to find neutral ground. I can’t deal with this every single time.”
They both glance at me then adjust their shoulders, as if they’re both struggling to accept my request but will go with it.
“Fine.” Briggs goes first, and I’m having a hard time believing him, but I’m choosing my battles today.
“Also fine,” Vaughn adds.
I sigh in relief and stand up. “Great, let’s move on.”
“Sure, I’m out of here anyway. I’ll text you later, Isla,” my brother informs me before I nod in understanding.
He throws Vaughn one more steely glare in parting.
The moment that Briggs is out of the house, the tension in the air deflates and turns to a new kind of tension, the unknown abyss that I’m heading down with Vaughn.
Vaughn has one hand tucked into his jeans pocket and he scrubs the other across his jaw as his eyes draw a line up my body to my nervous smile.
“Settling in?” he asks.
I salute him and give a coy smile. “Yes, master.”
His lips form a contrite smile. “Charming.”
I turn serious. “Yeah, I am.”
He indicates the boxes with a nod. “I’ll have someone come to construct this stuff, just tell them where to put it.”
“Oh, you don’t want to have a say where it goes in the room?”
He seems kind of exhausted. “I don’t care nor have the time.”
“Okay, then can you have someone come to paint the walls gray?”
Lines knit together on his forehead. “Gray? That’s your choice for the baby’s room?”
I walk a few steps to him. “Yeah, I don’t want to do pink, and gray is neutral.” I continue my walk to my purse on the stool of the open kitchen and pull out samples to show him. “I think North Rain Gray is a better choice to Cloud Gray, so North Rain Gray it is.”
“Cloud Gray,” he counters, and it feels like he is doing it on purpose.
“You don’t care,” I say, calling him out on his attempt.
“Cloud Gray,” he repeats.
I drop the paint samples, now aggravated. “Is this your way of saying you’re still pissed at me? Because I’m positive that debating shades of gray isn’t going to solve it.”
Vaughn’s lips roll in. “You’re right… North Rain Gray it is.”
“So accommodating,” I say, my tone frivolous.
I begin to walk past him, but he reaches out to touch my elbow and my feet become stuck to the ground, unwilling to leave, because he has me invested in what comes next.
“I’ll calm down eventually.” He means it, I can tell.
“Enough to stop by the baby shower?” Maybe I sound hopeful, and I'm not sure why, considering he wasn't even in the picture a few days ago.
Now a half-smile appears, lighting the air between us. “Guys go to those?”
My shoulder rolls back. “Not particularly. I mean, some baby showers have the guys there, and they do ridiculous little games. Not this one, it’s more a ladies’ high tea. But the dad… normally stops by.”
“I, uh, I’ll see.”
“Right, of course.” I swallow my disappointment. Suddenly, it feels like we’re not taking any steps. Besides, I was going to go to this party before he ever found out anyhow.
I begin to move again, but his hand is glued to me. “Isla…” It seems he has something profound to say. “Do you have any names in mind?” It feels like a cop out, but fine, I’ll run with it.
“No, I’m struggling with that part,” I admit.
“I can imagine. She’ll take my last name?” His voice sounds elusive.
“Oh, I didn’t really think about that yet.” I’m truthful, as I just assumed she would have mine, but now that he’s in the picture, I’m not sure.
"She should have it." He nods once then lets my arm go.
Feeling as though this is my opportunity for an exit, I walk away until I stop and spin on my heel. I notice that his eyes are still on me, filled with a blaze that isn’t anger as his finger traces his jawline.
“Vaughn, I really am sorry,” I repeat for what feels like the hundredth time.
His head tips lower before striking back up. “I think if we have any chance to make it the next few months and to raise this baby together, then you need to stop saying sorry. Eventually, I’ll understand.”
I appreciate that so much that a wry smile creates a line on my mouth.
“I’ll send you the baby shower details.”
“I’m not sure if I’ll come, but maybe.”
Inside something hurts a little. I recognize that it’s that fear again, that he won’t be fully invested in our daughter’s life.
“Fine.” I charge off, needing to go lock myself in my bedroom, wishing that it was his, because all is well, not only for our baby… but us.