Chapter 15
VAUGHN
Staring down at the tablet in the training arena’s boardroom, I’m looking over stats for the list of players that we’ll hopefully manage to get in the upcoming draft next week.
I’m changing windows on the screen as I compare one sheet to the other, which are contract negotiations.
As much as I enjoy seeing Briggs with the other names that will probably leave, I also feel slight remorse for having that feeling.
He is a great player and Isla’s brother, so I better get on that bandwagon.
However, I know if he goes to another team that Isla will probably be devastated.
I don’t particularly want her upset, which is why I feel like a bit of a jerk lately that I’ve been distant and sometimes cold then warm.
As much as the secret she kept is a hole somewhere within, I was right when I told her that she needs to stop apologizing if we have any hope of focusing on the future.
The future.
The one I have no clue what it will hold for us.
I’ve ignored every time it flashes in my mind that eventually we will need to confront the issue of us, but then it blows out of mind just as fast.
I glance to one of the guys from the management team to see that everyone is busy at work with various tasks. At least one thing is clear and it’s that this career move was right, near exhilarating.
“I’ll be back, just going to check in with the admin staff about travel next week,” I say.
Someone in the group gives me an okay.
Sliding out of my chair, I head into the hall where I stroll until I turn a corner and instantly nearly run into Isla.
“Oh, hey, forgot you were here,” she says, looking up from her phone. “Didn’t see you this morning.”
I’ve been avoiding her slightly at home, it’s better that way. She was always beautiful, but right now? She’s glowing, and she has my baby in her belly which just shoots the appeal to the sky.
Then it hits me. She works here, not for the team but for the facility and their training programs. And she’s working today.
“Why are you here?” It comes out a little short.
“Oh, hello to you too.” She’s already exhausted of me.
Reaching out, I touch her arm then rub up and down. I can’t not touch her. We may not be together, but I have the best claim possible.
“I mean, you should be at home resting, not here,” I clarify.
Isla scoffs and her eyes widen slightly. “I’m pregnant, not incompetent. Plus, even though I'm on maternity leave, technically by law I can work until this baby arrives.”
I smile tightly, a wave of protectiveness hitting me in full force. “I think not. Money isn’t an issue, and you really should be resting. Not here.”
“I enjoy my projects and want to ensure a smooth handover.” She’s clearly offended.
I roll my lips in to tame my temper. “That’s great." Sarcasm sinks those words down. "However, as long as I can keep an eye on you while you’re under my roof, then there is no escape. In a few days, I fly to Nashville for the draft picks, and then I can’t ensure that you’re taking it easy.”
Her tongue hits her inner cheek, and it seems that she’s in a similar mood and suppressing her anger.
“Vaughn, as much as this alpha male behavior would be sexy in normal non-accidental-pregnancy circumstances, I can’t handle this right now.
You’re stressing me out more than work, where I get to use fancy highlighters to write notes. ”
I clench my one hand, hoping it will keep me calm, reminding myself to get over my ego for a hot minute. “Okay… fair enough.”
Her free hand comes to her hip, but she can barely tip her hip out because, well, she’s heavily pregnant, and that area kind of merges together in a way that seems healthy and cute.
“You know, we can’t keep avoiding one another considering we live together, but I get it.
This is the worst time for this…” she points up and down her body, “to transpire. So, I’m letting you off the hook, as I know you want to start your job on the best possible foot.
That doesn’t mean that I’m enjoying this ride. ”
Fuck me, I was right. I’m being an ass.
She sighs one more exhausted breath. “I’ll take it easy because I want to take it easy. It’s not due to your demands.” Isla walks past me, and I’m tempted to say something, yet I’m not sure what.
Isla beats me to the punch anyhow when she stops and turns slightly to glimpse over her shoulder at me. “Vaughn.”
“Yeah?”
Her face softens and a half-smile appears on her mouth. “Thanks for leaving the new box of ice cream sandwiches in the freezer.” Then she walks away.
Yup, I’m the king of unresolved feelings and actions.
My subtle act was because I have a sentimental spot for Isla. I can’t deny that I’ve felt that way since the moment I saw her.
Getting home late, I scrub my face, trying to wipe the tiredness from my eyes.
It was a solid fourteen-hour day, and it will be that way again tomorrow.
The house is dark, and I make my way up the stairs.
Noticing the door to the nursery open, I decide to peek in, because somehow the reminder of a child entering my life feels calming in this moment, which is odd, as I was freaking out only a few days ago.
The moment that I open the slightly ajar door to the dark room, I notice Isla right away.
She’s leaning against the window wearing a long tight cotton nightgown, with her head resting against the glass as she cradles her stomach, completely unaware that I’m here, or maybe she is aware but chooses not to spare me a glance.
The moonlight is bright tonight, which only makes this scene extra poignant.
I’m tempted to take my phone out to capture a photo, but it would probably cause her to turn, and I want to soak in this scene a little longer.
I get those few seconds, and as much as I want to leave her in peace, I can’t. And she seems to know that too.
“Thinking of running away?” she asks before her head turns in my direction, with her mouth sliding to the side.
I laugh under my breath and step farther into the room. “So you did notice that I’m here.”
“Yeah, but I was waiting to see what you would do.”
I saunter in her direction, my eyes circling the nearly complete nursery. I’m relieved that I’m in a position where I can hire people to handle this. If I had time I would do it myself, but time is sparce.
“You looked at peace, and I’m not sure how much I would ruin that.” I join her at the window and lean against the edge. “Why are you not sleeping?”
“I’m restless. They say it happens as it gets more uncomfortable.”
I nod in understanding. “I can imagine.”
It happens yet again; our eyes get lost in one another as we take a few beats to stare.
“I’m sorry.”
Her brows raise, as she seems confused. “For what?”
“I’ve been… well, a lot of things lately.”
She hums a sound. “As much as it’s whiplash, I… understand. I don't get points for doing what I did, and forgiveness isn't always fast.”
Forgiveness, huh. I've just been on a train forward, focusing on this kid.
My thoughts float, and I glance to the side and stare at the crib for a hot second, then I return my gaze to Isla. “I’ve never been so scared in my life.”
It causes her to smile. “Trust me, I can relate.”
“What if, as much as I want to get it right, I just don’t? The last thing I want is to be like my own father.” I realize that speaking honestly with her is more of a relief than I expected.
“Sounds like we have the same fear. The last thing I ever want is for either of us to fail at this parenting thing. I want to do better than my parents, by far better. Be everything that they weren’t.”
Her hands stroke her belly, causing my sight to cascade down her body to land on the vision of the connection we will now forever share. “That’s what I want too. Doesn’t mean the anxiety vanishes.”
Isla bites the corner of her lip. “Vaughn, let’s just promise that we’ll try our damnedest for this little girl. The parenting thing, I mean.”
“I can do that.”
“All I’ve ever wanted is to have more family, and this is my chance. Probably yours too.”
I begin to smile from affection. “You seem to have become a mind reader.”
“It’s kind of obvious where our heads would go, considering our upbringing. Keeping it in just makes it hurt more. Saying it out loud is far too real.” She doesn’t blink.
Touching her arm first to comfort her, I quickly bring my hand to her navel, taking peace from this kid that somehow is the abundance of both hope and fear.
Isla brings her palm over my hand. As much as this moment should be about our daughter, I can’t help but enjoy Isla’s touch.
It makes my thoughts go haywire, because there are no warnings shooting through me, and there probably should be.
“I wish I didn’t have to go away to Nashville for a few days next week, but if there is anything you need, then you’ll call?”
She nods. “Of course.”
I can’t tear my eyes away from our binding life, yet I don’t dare voice the question buzzing in my head.
What about us? Partly since I don’t have an answer for her.
My view on relationships was thrown upside down the moment I found out I’m going to be a dad.
But my attraction and wanting for her has been there from the moment we spoke about cheese all those months ago.
Easy seems to be the only solution right now. “Need anything?”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll just attempt to sleep again and think about what I’ll wear this weekend for the baby shower.” Her chin tips up, and it’s obvious she’s searching for an answer about whether I’ll be there.
I should tell her that it’s a no-brainer, but it’s also a commitment. Those tend to make me indecisive.
“You mentioned.”
That wasn't what she was hoping I would say. “Right, well, I should go to sleep. Night, Vaughn.”
“Night,” I say before she meanders out of the room.
I’m alone and look around, knowing I need to do so much better, while I admire the dreamcatcher hanging on the wall by the crib.
A moment later, I walk down the hall to my room, and Isla’s door is partly open.
Maybe she did that on purpose to tempt me.
Either way, I watch from afar as she adjusts her body in her bed.
Lying on her side, with one leg wrapping around her pregnancy pillow and her head getting comfortable on a normal pillow.
So fucking beautiful.
I realize something; she understands me on so many levels. That, mixed with a magnetism that is underlying, causes me to realize that for the first time, if I ever had a shot at something extraordinary, then maybe, just maybe, it’s with her.
I just need to figure out what to do about it.