Chapter 19
Slowly and deliberately, Ann went back to the wall of yarn and picked out her selections, trying to calm herself with deep breaths.
The woman was gone, even if the image of her caressing Bill’s cheek was burned in her mind.
It was all a misunderstanding. Obviously, the woman didn’t realize he’d married only yesterday.
Presumably, she thought her child was Bill’s. But what had happened between them?
What did she really know about the man she married?
He was practically a stranger. His friends did tease him about his roving eye.
Maybe he had more of a past than he was letting on.
It wasn’t so much the possibility of his having been with other women that bothered her but the dishonesty.
Why wouldn’t he simply be truthful about this?
She brought her basket of yarn, knitting needles, crochet hooks, and embroidery supplies up to the register and paid with the money Bill had withdrawn for her at the bank.
Maybe she was being too harsh. Bill had been nothing but kind to her, and whatever happened with this woman was before he had any obligation to Ann. He looked deeply abashed as she walked up to him with her bag of purchases.
As soon as they left the shop, he said, “I’m sorry, Ann.”
“What exactly happened?” She still didn’t think she had the full picture.
“I think she saw Junior and assumed I was already married when I went out with her.”
“When did you last go out with her?” It must have been recent.
“Last month, but I swear, Ann, nothing happened between us. We danced. We got drunk. We kissed, and then I fixed her leaky faucet and went home.”
She stopped and looked at him, trying to discern if he was telling the truth. He certainly looked earnest.
“Are there other women we might bump into that I should be aware of?” She tried to keep her voice even and light.
He looked up at the sky and then down at his toes. “I used to go out a lot. Hers isn’t the only leaky faucet I’ve fixed in recent memory, but I swear that’s all over now that I have you.”
Oh, how she wanted to believe him! And maybe she was overreacting. What he did before they married was hardly her affair. Except that it hurt. When Edith reached out and touched him, she wanted to strangle the woman on sight. Bill was hers and nobody else’s. He’d promised.
Yes, he had promised. And this wasn’t a breach of that promise, so she needed to let it go. She sighed. “If you say so, then I believe you.”
“Thank you, Ann. I swear none of them could hold a candle to you. I am yours and yours alone.”
In that moment, he looked so much like a sad puppy, eager to get back in her good graces, that she relented and kissed him on the cheek. “You’ve married me and given me a home when I had nothing. I trust you.” After all, what choice did she have?
“Good. Let’s take this home and then have some lunch.”
They dropped off the bag and then went out for groceries. When they got back, Ann made sandwiches.
She was still pondering what had happened in the morning.
Why did it leave her so unsettled? It was a misunderstanding, and Bill had borne the brunt of it.
Why should it matter to her how many young ladies’ leaks he repaired before they married?
She had no claim on him then. But she had a claim on him now.
When she’d seen that woman flirting with him and touching his face, she was so furious she hardly recognized herself.
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been that angry.
Even after she realized it was a misunderstanding, the feeling lingered.
She hadn’t entirely shaken it off even now.
Placing the sandwiches on the table, she sat down across from Bill.
“If there’s anything you need help with while I’m away these next few days, just go see my parents.” Bill grinned as he said it like nothing was wrong whatsoever. Did he not realize how unsettled she was?
“Of course. I can hardly believe how kind they’ve been to me.” She had no idea how she would have gotten through the last few days without their kindness.
“They adore you, just like I do.” He picked up his sandwich and took a bite.
“It means a lot to me to have family again.” She hadn’t felt this safe and secure since both of her parents were alive. “It will be such a relief to leave Junior with them instead of with a stranger when I start working again.” She stared at her sandwich, wishing she could summon an appetite.
“Ann.” He gave her an inquiring look. “It’s completely up to you, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to go back to work for the sake of money. I can support you. You’re welcome to teach if that’s what you want to do, but if you want to stay at home with Junior, you can.”
She sat up straight, hardly daring to breathe.
She’d been dreading going back with Junior still an infant.
She adored her job, but another year would be a godsend.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a burden to you.
I love teaching, but with Junior so young and not sleeping through the night, I would love to take another year before I go back to work. ”
“Take as much time as you like.” Bill smiled. “I make twenty-seven hundred a year. That’s more than enough for us to live comfortably.”
“Yes, it certainly is.” It’s more than Roger made as a junior accountant before the war, and once they bought a house, they wouldn’t even have to pay rent. They would have money to spare on a salary like that. “If it’s all right with you, I’ll send a letter of resignation today.”
“Of course.” He smiled and winked at her.
“Oh, this is such a relief, I can’t tell you.” An entire year before going back to work, and possibly more… She hadn’t realized what a weight of dread she had been carrying until it was lifted.
Bill finished off his sandwich and looked at her with a furrowed brow. “You could have asked.”
“I wouldn’t have dared.” Not yet. She hardly knew him. “I owe you too much.”
“You don’t owe me a thing, Ann. You’re my wife.”
She leaned across the table and kissed him, and he tugged her arm and pulled her onto his lap to kiss her more deeply.
The warmth she always felt in his presence suddenly heated to a blaze.
She craved her new husband ferociously, and from the way he was kissing her, it was clear he was in a similar state.
Fortunately, Junior had dozed off in his crib.
He began unbuttoning the back of her dress, and she set to work on his shirt.
She needed to touch him, feel his skin beneath her fingers.
The blossoming heat between them engulfed her, and she let herself succumb.
He stood up, still holding her close, and slid her dress to the floor.
Her inhibitions slid away with it. All she wanted in the world was to be close to him, to feel the length of him against the length of her.
Fumbling with the clasps, he unhooked her stockings and unlaced her corset.
She tore off his shirt, slid down his pants, and began unbuttoning his union suit.
Too many layers! They all had to go so that she could touch and caress his naked flesh.
He stripped her of her bloomers and chemise as she slid his union suit to the floor.
They both stood naked, seeing each other fully exposed in the light of day for the first time.
They paused for a moment to take each other in.
Good Lord, he was a handsome man—taller and thinner than Roger but with lean, sculpted muscles that made her mouth water.
The look of utter adoration in his blue-green eyes absolutely melted her.
A lock of his wavy chestnut hair broke free of his pomade and fell across his forehead as he gazed at her.
“In all my days,” he said, “I have never seen anything or anyone as breathtakingly gorgeous as you.”
Her mouth opened, but no words came out.
She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him hungrily, leading him back to the bed. As he pressed her down onto it, he found the secret spot she showed him last night and began to stroke. “This time, I want to watch you. I want to see the expression on your face.”
Soon, she was trembling all over and moaning his name. As she arched in the final throes, she pleaded, “Bill, I need you inside me. Please.”
A moment later, he thrust into her, embedding himself to the hilt.
The slow, languorous caution of last night was gone, replaced by urgency and need.
She responded in kind, arching to meet him.
He thrust into her again and again, driving her to another pinnacle, she shuddered from head to toe with the force of it, and still he continued, his pace growing more and more frantic.
As a third wave of ecstasy hit her, she felt the powerful pulsation of his release. They collapsed together onto the bed.
They lay panting in each other’s arms, and Junior began to fuss. Ann laughed. Of course, he would choose right now to make demands. She got up to get him and came back to bed, holding him to her breast as she snuggled up to Bill, who was sitting against the headboard.
“Are you satisfied with our canoodling, my lady?” he asked, making her burst out laughing.
“Is it not obvious?”
“Well, a gentleman doesn’t want to assume.”
Always the gentleman, even in this.
“Did the look of ecstasy on my face not tell you everything you needed to know?”
He gave a goofy sideways smile. “Which look of ecstasy? I think I saw more than one.”
Her cheeks heated. “Yes, you did. Three, in fact.”
“I’m going to miss you when I go away tomorrow.” He played with a lock of her hair that had come loose. “I never used to mind going away, but I think I do now.”
She nodded. “I didn’t think I was lonely before I married Roger, but once I did, I hated it when he went away.” Oh dear. Here she was talking about Roger again.
“Does it bother you that I’m going away?” He looked her in the eye and tipped her chin up with his finger.
“Yes,” she admitted. “But I know it’s your job.”
“I won’t be gone long, only three days.”
Three days alone with her feelings. The tumult she’d been keeping at bay would almost certainly come crashing down on her. But she had to face it sometime. Maybe it would be for the best if he wasn’t around for it.
She started burping Junior. “I know. I don’t really mind. I just wish you didn’t have to go away so soon.”
He hugged her tight against him. “Me too.” He kissed her hair. “It’s going to be fun telling my friends, though. I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces.”
Junior let out a loud burp and looked terribly pleased.
“Well done, little man,” Bill said with a grin. “Can I hold him?” At her nod, he picked up Junior and settled him against his chest.
Something deep inside her clenched at the sight of her sweet baby curled up on that chiseled chest. Was there anything more appealing than a strong and tender father? Would it have been like this with Roger? He never even got to meet his son.
“What’s wrong, love?” Bill asked.
“Hmm?”
“You look sad and pensive all of a sudden.” He let Junior close his tiny fists around his fingers.
She shook her head. “I was just thinking how I never got a moment like this with Roger. He never even got to meet his son.”
“He’s never far from your thoughts, is he?”
“No.” There was no point denying it. Roger was in her thoughts constantly.
“You know what we need?” Bill said with sudden, forced cheerfulness. “Strawberry cake. Let’s pop down to the bakery and get some.”
Jarred by the sudden change in topic, she had trouble gathering her thoughts for a moment.
Was he always this impulsive? He married her based on a very limited acquaintance.
He wanted to buy the first house he saw, even though it was a mess.
And now he wanted to buy strawberry cake.
It was hard to fathom how he’d had the discipline to save all the money he had, given how subject to whims he seemed to be.
“All right, we can go get cake,” she said giving him a worried smile.
“Now cake makes you sad?” His brow furrowed.
“No, it’s just…unexpected is all. Let’s go get cake.” She gave him the brightest smile she could manage.
“That’s better. We’ve got to cheer up your mama,” he said to Junior, putting him down on the bed while they got dressed.
Twenty minutes later, they were back with an entire cake in a brown box tied with twine.
“I still can’t believe you bought the whole cake.” Ann put it on the table, cutting open the twine with scissors.
“You can put it in the icebox and eat it while I’m gone. It will cheer you up when you’re sad.”
“I swear you are the most impulsive man I’ve ever known.”
His face fell for a moment, and he swallowed hard then tried to cover it with a goofy grin. “Not impulsive. Madly in love and eager to please.”
“How can you be madly in love? We hardly know each other.”
His grin fell away completely.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” She turned to get plates and forks to cover how flustered she was. Here he was opening his heart, and she couldn’t stop herself from harboring doubts.
“I know that we haven’t known each other long, but I knew I wanted you to be my wife almost as soon as I met you.
I would have taken the time to court you properly if circumstance had allowed, but it didn’t work out that way.
You’re my wife now. I can’t help how I feel about you, and I don’t see any point in hiding my feelings.
I only hope someday you can return them. ”
If she could have taken back her words, she would have. It pained her that she’d hurt him, as she obviously had.
“Bill, I—”
“I need to go for a walk.” And he headed out the door.
For a moment, she almost went after him, but then she thought better of it.
He needed his space. She’d hurt him. After all he’d done for her, she’d gone and rejected his love.
She’d warned him a hundred times, and he said he could be patient.
But she’d gone and made a mess of things, just like she knew she would.
Guilt settled into the space from where all the giddiness had fled.
Whenever something started to go right for her, disaster struck.
She should have known it was only a matter of time.