Chapter Eleven
Bernard
Saturday, May 16
BERNARD WRAPPED THE gift for Sarah. It wasn’t the best-looking wrap job he’d ever seen, but the ribbon was cute. He smiled at the memory of his mother teaching him to take the edge of scissors and scrape it across the ribbon to make a curl.
The telltale sting of tears stung the back of his eyes. It had been twenty years since he held his mother’s hand, hugged her, or heard her voice.
He picked up the phone and called his dad.
“Hello,” his father said.
“Hi, Dad,” Bernard said in Portuguese.
“Hey, Bernardo. How are you, son?”
“Just wanted to check on you.”
“I’m doing all right, how are you?”
“Just thinking about Mom.”
After his mother’s death, Bernard and his father became closer. He’d wanted to spend as much time with him as he could. They talked often. He went to visit and sent cards for his birthday and holidays. And he worried about his father’s health.
“Dad…” Bernard hesitated. “Have you been to the doctor lately?”
“I’m fine,” his dad said. “My doctor said everything’s good.”
He was lying. His dad drank a case of beer a day and smoked at least two packs of cigarettes. No doctor told him he was fine. Bernard didn’t call him out on it.
“Okay, Dad,” Bernard said. “I’m just calling to check on you.”
“Is this about your mother?”
“Yes. I just don’t want to lose you too.”
“Son, you don’t need to worry about me. I’m doing fine.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I love you and I’ll talk to you soon.”
“I love you too, son.”
Twenty years of drinking and smoking had to take its toll. He didn’t know how much time he had left with his father, but he’d make every moment count.
Bernard made sure Ginger had everything she needed and headed out to Sarah’s.
The party was in full swing when he arrived.
“I wish I’d known to be here earlier,” Bernard joked when John answered the door.
“Nah, you’re right on time.” John hugged him.
Rory was decorating Sarah’s cake as Bernard headed through the kitchen.
“That looks fantastic.”
“Thank you,” Rory said. “I’m almost done, then I’ll join you all in the backyard.”
He gave Bernard a hug. Bernard held tight and took in Rory’s cologne. His heart swelled as Rory squeezed him.
Why do you have to be straight? You’d be perfect for me if only you liked men.
“See you soon,” Bernard said.
A dozen people mingled in the backyard.
Kelly swam in the pool with his shirt on. It looked similar to the suits worn by surfers. Black and tight, it hugged his thick body. Blue swim trunks completed his outfit.
“Happy birthday, Sarah.” Bernard hugged her from behind.
“I’m so glad you made it.” Sarah turned around and hugged him back.
“You know I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“The food should be ready soon. Go have fun.”
Bernard grabbed a cup of punch labeled non-alcoholic and stood by the snack table, watching everyone enjoy the party.
“How do you know Sarah?” a woman asked.
“We went to high school together and now we work together.”
“Sorry, I’m rude.” She held out her hand. “I’m Jeanine. I’m in a book club with Sarah.”
“I’m Bernard. It’s nice to meet you.”
Bernard racked his brain. Sarah mentioned her book club, but not anyone in it.
“What book are you reading now?” Bernard asked.
“ Little Women .”
“That’s a great book.”
“You’ve read it?”
“Yes, a few years ago.”
“Maybe you should join our group. We could use a man’s perspective on it.”
“Oh, thank you, but book clubs aren’t my thing.”
“I’m sure us ladies could make you feel welcomed.”
She flipped her blonde hair and giggled. Had he made a joke? She placed her hand on his arm. She moved it up and down. He shivered. Did Sarah mention him to her book club? What did she tell Jeanine?
“Has Sarah ever mentioned me?”
“She may have,” she said. Her smile broadened, and she batted her eyes. “But I don’t think she mentioned how cute you were.”
She was flirting with him. Bernard shifted his feet.
“Did she mention how gay I am?”
“Oh.” Her smile stayed in place. “It just takes the right woman to change that.”
He closed his eyes and counted to ten, trying to quell the anger stirring inside him. This phrase came up with family members who disagreed with homosexuality. How he needed to find the right woman. No right woman existed for him. He didn’t know if a right man existed anymore, but there had never been a chance for a right woman.
“I’m sorry,” Bernard said. “That’s not how it works. I’m gay and I’ve never been interested in a woman in my life.”
“Aww, that can’t be true.” She pouted her lips.
Bernard removed her hand from his arm. He took a deep breath. Jeanine wouldn’t leave him alone unless he made it clear.
“I’m sure you’re a lovely woman, Jeanine. But I’m not interested. I don’t want to make a scene, so please walk away and don’t talk to me again unless you’re willing to accept that I’m not interested in you.”
“You’re an asshole,” she said.
Bernard winced. This was Liquid Pearl and Chance again. She couldn’t take no for an answer. She made a scene.
“What’s going on?” Sarah walked over.
“Your friend here insulted me,” Jeanine said.
“Bernard?” Her eyes widened. “Bernard’s never insulted anyone in his life.”
“Well, he just did.” Jeanine crossed her arms.
“Tell her exactly what happened,” Bernard said. “And let her decide.”
“I shouldn’t have to explain myself.”
“Fine, I’ll tell her.”
Bernard told Sarah about the series of events. Jeanine didn’t contradict or interrupt him. When he finished, Sarah glared at Jeanine.
“I only invited you because you overheard me inviting the other members,” Sarah said. “I don’t even like you. You hit on every man you see and won’t take no for an answer. Bernard is gay. Got it? He doesn’t want to be with a woman, and he especially doesn’t want to be with you. Now, I’m going to kindly ask you to leave my home and I’m talking to the others about having you removed from the book club.”
“You can’t do that.” Jeanine threw her arms into the air.
“I can and will. Now, leave.”
Jeanine stormed out of the backyard. Bernard watched as she slammed every door on her way.
“I’m sorry about that, Bernard,” Sarah said.
“I think it’s funny that someone thinks I’m straight,” he laughed.
Jeanine hit on him because she hit on all men. She didn’t care about his sexuality.
“Well, I don’t think it’s funny,” Sarah said. “You need more confidence in who you are. Who cares what other people think.”
“True.”
“Now, let’s get some of those burgers and hot dogs John’s cooking up.”
Sarah introduced Bernard to the rest of her book club. Edwina, Joan, and Betsy were all pleasant women. None of them hit on him.
Rory came out to greet Bernard. “Sorry, I’ve been stuck in the kitchen.”
“It’s okay,” Bernard said. “How does the cake look?”
“I think it looks great. It’s a cherry-chocolate cake with a cherry buttercream frosting.”
“That sounds delicious,” Bernard said.
“I hope Sarah likes it.”
“I’m sure she will.”
“Let’s go swimming.” Rory took off his shirt and pants. He wore swim trunks underneath.
“I’ll change and meet you back here.”
They jumped into the pool once Bernard returned.
The cool water was nice with the rising California summer temperature. While they wrestled in the water, Bernard’s hand brushed Rory’s semi-hard dick.
Is wrestling with me turning Rory on? Or did something else happen?
He couldn’t figure out why Rory had a semi, but he enjoyed touching it. It’d been over a year since he touched another man. Any man’s cock would have turned him on. This time it was Rory’s.
But what if it’s more? What if he wants more? Damn it, why can’t I find someone who makes me feel the way Rory does?
He shook the thought from his head. Rory might be gay, but he hadn’t said it. Bernard wasn’t going to pressure him. Rory would come out when he was ready.
I’m going to have to take care of this urge when I get home.
Sarah opened her gifts and gushed at all the books she’d received. She was an avid reader and Bernard bought her the Chronicles of Narnia series by C. S. Lewis. He knew she hadn’t read them all and wanted her to get the chance.
“I hate to leave this wonderful party,” Rory said, “but I do have to get ready for church. Enjoy the cake and I’ll see you all later.”
John brought out a plastic container with a lid. “We cut a piece for you. No reason you shouldn’t enjoy the cake you made.”
Rory smiled and took the container. “Thanks, John.”
“Oh Bernard,” Rory said. “Don’t forget the presentation for my final project is at five on Friday the twenty-ninth.”
“Thanks for the reminder, I can’t wait to see what you and your team built. You’ve talked about this solar generator, and it sounds exciting,” Bernard said.
Bernard made a mental note to leave a little early from work so he could support Rory.
The party wrapped up around six. Most of the guests had left after cake and ice cream.
“Do you need help cleaning up?” Bernard asked.
“No, you go home,” John said. “Kelly and I will clean up here.”
“Sarah, if you want to go to Rory’s project demonstration, we can go together,” Bernard said. “If not, we’ll have to drive separately since I’ll be staying in San Jose to watch.”
“I’d love to,” she said. “But John and I have a business dinner party planned. His boss is coming over with his wife and we’re going all out. I’ll probably leave a little early to help set it up, anyway.”
“Okay, I’ll see you on Monday.”
Bernard gave them all hugs and drove home.
On the way, Rory continued to occupy his mind. He’d had a crush on him in high school and during their early twenties, but it was nothing serious. When he came out, if Rory was interested in him, he’d have said something. All he said was he accepted him, and nothing else. So, Bernard gave up hope of being with Rory. It didn’t stop him from fantasizing about him.
After a long hot shower, Bernard lay on the bed, naked. His fingers explored his chest and belly. He curled his fingers into his chest hair.
He pinched a nipple. The titillation stiffened his cock. Bernard stroked himself with his left hand while he caressed his balls with his right. His thick seven-inch cut cock throbbed. His moans of pleasure escaped his lips as he rubbed himself.
He reached into his nightstand for lube and his dildo. He squeezed the lube onto his fingers. His finger slid into his hole. Another moan escaped. He pressed against his prostate and bucked his hips. He stretched out his hole before another finger made its way in.
He pumped his fingers in and out as he stroked himself. His ass begged for something larger.
He removed both fingers and lubed up the dildo. He turned to his side, brought the dildo to his hole, and massaged it with the head. The dildo eased into his ass. It expanded his hole.
“Fuck.”
He rolled onto his back, lifted his legs, and placed a pillow under him. He continued to fuck himself with the dildo. An image of Rory on top of him popped into his head. Rory leaned over him and fucked him while he jerked off. Bernard wanted it. Rory was big, beefy, and hot. He wanted to feel him inside.
Bernard shot a load that reached his chest. Two more pulses followed, cum hitting his stomach. He pulled the dildo out and lay on the bed. Spent.
As he showered, he contemplated the image of Rory fucking him. He didn’t know how to feel. He loved Rory as a friend. Was there something more? Could there be something more? Rory had mentioned if he was gay or bi or anything else, he’d tell Bernard when he was ready. Would Rory be interested in him? He couldn’t think about that. Fantasy was one thing. It wasn’t the first time he’d jerked off thinking about Rory. It was, however, the first time he imagined Rory inside him. Still, he couldn’t act on it. This was just a fantasy.
I need to stop. Rory is my friend, and I shouldn’t be having these thoughts about him. It isn’t fair to him. If I continue to think this way, I might do something I’ll regret. I won’t destroy what we have for a dream or a wish.