7
Walker
Itry my best, but can’t take my eyes off Poppy in her gold sequins dress. She and Cade performed, and I was so fucking glad that it was an upbeat, fun song. And not some romantic, sexy shit. That would have put me over the edge to sit and watch. Not to mention that if it had been slow and seductive, I likely would have had to punch Huff right in the fucking face.
She chugs a bottle of water, laughing with Cade as they celebrate their performance, which annoys the fuck out of me, and I wish I could yank her away from him and lock her in a fucking room forever. That way, no other man would ever hit on her. After all, she was supposed to be mine.
Even though I think our performance went well, I’m just happy as hell it’s over with, and I can move on with my life.
And Cade and Poppy can stop fucking hanging out too.
When we were kids, even though I hated dancing, I’d dance with Poppy when she needed help practicing for her performances. It didn’t seem that bad as long as I was with her. So, while Lana is great, dancing with anyone who isn’t Poppy doesn’t feel right. At all.
“You’re staring,” Nixon mutters, coming next to me. “Don’t go pickin’ fights with Huff. You know how tight he and Cap are.”
It’s true. Sterns and Huff are close and all. And I would never jeopardize my spot on the team by picking a fight with Cade. But I’m sure as hell going to keep an eye out to make sure he doesn’t cross the line. So far, since that night at Club 83, he and Poppy seem pretty platonic. And it needs to stay that way.
“I am not.”
I quickly look away, my eyes finding my dance partner and Elias in the corner of the room. She might have said she wasn’t ready for another relationship, but they look pretty cozy to me.
He sits in a chair, her wedged between his legs. I can’t help but smile because I like both of them. And I’m happy as hell it worked out for them. Besides, now, she can stop trying to fuck me every five seconds.
“Man, he’s giving her the look.” Nixon chuckles.
“What look?” I frown.
“The wife look,” he says thoughtfully. “He’s looking at that girl like he’s about to wife her up.” He looks her over. “And to be honest, she’s looking at him like she’s naming their unborn children in her head.”
I tilt my head to the side, zeroing in on whatever fucking shit Nixon is talking about. Finally, I shrug. “I don’t get it.”
“That’s because you’re like the opposite of Romeo.” He laughs, hitting my arm. “I’m not afraid to admit I love me some love. You? You’re a loveless grump.”
I’ve never been someone to show how I feel. I guess that’s because when Poppy was around, I didn’t want Van to catch on to the fact that I loved his sister. Even though he made it clear a few times that he knew all along. And once I left Sunset Drive, I just didn’t give a fuck anymore. Not about anyone.
“Whatever,” I groan just before Hunter Thompson and his dance partner, Sutton’s, dance comes to an end.
Within seconds, Hunter yells for someone to help.
It all happens so quickly. I watch as he attempts to give her a dose of what looks like a rescue inhaler. Like a horror movie, I see her slowly start to lose consciousness as someone yells that the ambulance is almost here. The entire room breaks into chaos, yet everything seems silent as Hunter carries her outside to meet the paramedics.
That’s when I see Poppy. Her face is pale, and her shoulders are sagging as she walks into a private room and closes the door behind her.
I’ve heard some of the guys on the team talking, saying that Poppy was bullying Sutton. I hated to hear it, but I also wasn’t really surprised. The saying, Hurt people hurt people …well, it applies here. Sutton has everything Poppy could never get, and I’m sure that made her act a certain way.
I hate that nobody knows the real Poppy—the Poppy who took beating after beating and never told on her dad just because she wanted to keep her brother safe. The Poppy who hardly had any lunch money but would give her last few dollars to someone she thought needed it more.
She’s so much better than she leads on. She’s just afraid to show it because that’ll leave her open to getting hurt.
She’s not mine to fix, but right now, all I want to do is make sure she’s okay. So, rushing through the crowd, I head toward the room she disappeared into moments ago.
I push the door open and find her crouched on the floor. She isn’t crying, but she’s visibly distressed. She rocks gently, keeping her eyes squeezed shut. It’s like she knows it’s me in here without even looking.
Closing the door, I sink down the wall next to her. I have no idea why, but something inside of me changes. And I know that at this moment, I just want to be her shoulder to cry on.
Even if she doesn’t cry anymore.
*********
Poppy
When Sutton was taken in the ambulance, the girls, Ryann and Lana, looked at me like I was the one who had given her the asthma attack. I could see it written all over their faces. The way I’d treated Sutton weeks prior made them suddenly hate me now that she was sick.
If I could take it all back, I would. I wouldn’t act like an entitled brat who deserved the number one spot simply because I had the saddest story. I wouldn’t make her want to leave the room when I walked in. I would just separate our differences and not be so nasty.
Looking back, I can see how awful I was. And now, it might be too late to right my wrongs.
I know it’s Walker the second the door opens and shuts again. I don’t have to look to know he came to me. Just like he used to when he knew I needed him the most.
The same way I ran to him the day his parents died. I held him in my arms for hours in pure silence. He fell asleep with his head on my abdomen, and I would have given anything that day to take his pain away.
Walker sits next to me, not saying a word. Simply…existing with me. Just like when we were kids and one of us was going through something bad. We could just be together, and that would make it all hurt a little less. The silence didn’t bother me then.
Now, it’s suffocating.
My body hurts to just give in and crash into his. I miss his friendship and mourn what I always thought we would become one day.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks softly into the empty room.
“Not with you,” I mutter, staring at my hands.
“Why not?” He cranes his head to face me, but I continue to stare down, only seeing him from my peripheral vision.
“Let’s see, Walker. Probably because you aren’t someone I would ever talk to about anything anymore,” I hiss. “You stopped being that to me long ago.”
“And whose decision was that?” His voice grows sharper. “You made that choice.”
“Yeah.” A bitter laugh bubbles from my mouth. “Like I had any other choice.”
“There’s always a fucking choice,” he growls. Gripping my chin, he forces me to look at him. “You, Poppy, made the choice. And now, my parents are dead, and no one had to pay for it.”
“Way to pile onto this already-fucking-awful moment! They overdosed, Walker! Jesus!” I shake my head. “They chose to stick that needle in their arm.”
“Those drugs were cut with a deadly amount of fentanyl, and you know it. Your dad knew it back then too.” His grip tightens on my chin, and his eyes bounce between mine and my lips. “Just admit that you fucking lied to save your own ass. To keep your family together.”
Anger courses through every part of my body. Overtaking my veins and strangling me from the inside out.
How could he think it was that cut and dry?
“I lied to keep Jake from being thrown into a system where he wouldn’t get what he needed!” I scream in his face before quickly pulling out of his hold and standing up. “You’ll never get that though! To you, all I was back then was the girl who was fucking obsessed with you. The girl who would choose you above anyone else!” I shake my head at him, snarling, “Well, guess what. I’m not that girl anymore, Walker. And sometimes, you have to protect your family! I chose Jake. I chose my family! It had nothing to do with Ron.”
He stands, towering over me.
But before he can speak, I poke my finger into his chest. “I will not beg for forgiveness when I did what I had to do to help Jake make his dreams come true,” I growl. “Like I said before, stay the fuck away from me.”
I don’t even make it a whole step before his hands grab my waist and spin me around to face him. He backs me up to the wall, holding my wrists down. His lips are on mine, and his tongue flicks against mine. And I want to be the bad bitch who pushes him away and stands strong. But it’s impossible. I’ve loved him from day one. I’ve thought about this kiss for most of my life.
He kisses me rough and hard. And stupid me kisses him right back. The room spins, and my head feels dizzy as I feel his erection press into my stomach.
His lips move to my neck, and he kisses my neck before biting down on my flesh and making me cry out. A humiliating loud moan escapes my lips, and before I know it, his mouth catches mine again.
I’m so lost in the moment and lost in this man that I love and hate simultaneously. Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door, and I hear Jolene’s voice.
Shoving him away from me, I glare up at him. “Be right out,” I try to call out, breathless. “Just fixing my dress.”
“Oh, okay,” Jolene answers, sounding concerned before I hear her footsteps walk away.
I push past him, but his hand catches my wrist.
“Poppy,” he rasps, “don’t walk away from me.”
“I can’t do this right now,” I plead. “Not with you.”
“Well, what was this then?” he asks, signaling his hand between us. “Tell me that.”
I stare at him for a second, my heart still beating far too fast while also breaking inside my chest. It hurts so much to love someone so deeply that when you’re in moments like the one we just had…nothing else matters.
“This was a mistake. One that won’t happen again.”
Running my hands down my dress, I smooth it out before exiting the room. And leaving Walker James behind.
Every step is damn near impossible to take with the ache between my legs showing zero signs of subsiding. Damn him.
But mostly, damn me.
I’m supposed to be this bitchy, tough girl who intimidates people. But one touch from him, and I unravel like a pathetic ball of yarn.
*********
Walker
With the rest of the team, I sit in the waiting room at the hospital. Hunter has barely spoken a word, just sitting with his face in his palms, looking down at the floor. It became pretty clear early on that he had a thing for his dance partner, Sutton. Despite their rough history, they seemed to find their way to each other. And now, she’s lying unconscious in a hospital bed, and he doesn’t know if she’s going to wake up or not.
The entire dance team is here—all except Poppy, who I’ve seen sitting outside on a bench by herself through the window.
She and Sutton might live together, but they aren’t friends. From the sounds of it, they are enemies. I know Poppy enough to know that she wouldn’t come in here and try to pretend they were something they weren’t. But she must care about Sutton a bit because she’s here. And that’s something.
I know today isn’t about Poppy. But she’s hurting, and I’m the last person she wants near her. So, walking over to Lana, who’s curled up next to Elias, I take the seat across from them.
“How are you doing?” I ask her, and she looks at me with her makeup-smudged eyes.
She doesn’t answer, but shrugs as her lip trembles and her eyes fill with tears.
“She’s going to be all right,” I whisper. “I know Poppy isn’t the easiest person to get along with. And I know she and Sutton weren’t best friends or anything—”
“Poppy treated her like shit,” she says, cutting me off. “Literal shit.”
Sighing, I pinch the bridge of my nose. The last thing I should be doing is blabbing Poppy’s business all over campus. She’s an extremely private, complex human being. And if she knew I was saying what I was about to, she’d probably cut my nuts off. But I’d rather her be pissed at me than be all alone outside. And the last thing she needs right now is me rushing out there, trying to save her.
I’m starting to learn that maybe she needs to save herself. Because maybe she doesn’t trust me enough to be her hero anymore.
“Poppy’s tough. Trust me, no one gets that more than I do. She’s hard. And she can be really fucking mean.” I nod slowly, looking at Lana. “But, shit, Lana, some of the stuff that girl has been through? It’s unimaginable to most people.” I cringe. “The way I see it, she does good just to get up every single morning and get through the day. Because some people? They would have given up on life a long time ago if they had been dealt the cards she was.”
She sniffles. “Why are you telling me this? I thought … I thought there was no happily ever after for you and her?”
I swallow. “There isn’t. But right now, she’s outside of this hospital, alone. Scared to come in here because she doesn’t want to upset anyone by showing her face. I know she cares about Sutton despite how she acted.” I reach across the aisle and pat her arm. “I can’t be the one to make this better. Right now … she just needs a friend.” A lump forms in my throat, and I swallow it down. “She really, really needs a fucking friend. And to know that you all don’t hate her.”
Looking from me to Elias, she gives a sad, tiny smile. Slowly, she pushes herself to stand and exhales. “I’ll go get her.”
Standing quickly, I hug her. “Thank you. Thank you so much, Lana.”
Releasing her, I watch as she heads outside. Maybe this isn’t what Poppy even wants. Perhaps she’s fine out there, all alone. But for once, I just want that girl to have someone show up for her. To ride for her. To show her that they care.
Even if that someone can’t be me.