8
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Poppy
Iwring my hands together nervously before looking around the house to see if everything looks okay. After a week and a half, Sutton is coming home today. And to show her that I’m sorry for how I’ve acted, I asked Jasmin, a girl I work at the coffee shop with, to cover for me today. I wanted to be here when Sutton first came home.
The girls wanted to keep her homecoming low-key, per Hunter’s request, but we put up some decorations and stocked the house with her favorite foods and lots of soups. Because from what I hear, most people like soup when they aren’t feeling well. I never really had soup, growing up. We mostly ate things that we could throw in the microwave or plain bread, but it sounds like it would be nice when you’re not feeling the best. And since she was intubated for over a week, her throat is healing.
I went and saw Sutton while she was in the hospital once she woke up. I know she was surprised to see me, but it was something I felt like I should do. I’m not sure there’s a faster way to make someone realize how awful they have been than seeing the person they’ve been treating unfairly lying in a hospital bed. It wasn’t fair of me to unload years of trauma onto Sutton Savage and make her take the wrath of it all. It has never been about her, but about myself and everything I need to overcome.
I don’t think we will be besties and braid each other’s hair or paint nails together. But I don’t want to hate her anymore. The truth is, we’re both dancers. And if I want to be better than her, I just need to work harder instead of playing the pity card.
“She’s here!” Lana says, peeking out the window. “Let’s not, like…yell or anything.” She widens her eyes, looking nervous. “I don’t want to send her into another asthma attack. Let’s just…calmly say, Welcome home.”
“For real? I thought we’d light fireworks and maybe jump out from behind curtains,” Ryann deadpans.
Lana’s eyes grow wide. “Seriously?” she squeaks.
Smacking her hand to her forehead, she shakes her head. “No, Lana. That was sarcasm.” She looks at me, trying to keep it together. “Obviously, we know that after someone has been in a coma for nine days, they probably don’t want people screaming and jumping out behind curtains.”
“Yeah. And probably no to the fireworks too.” I shrug, smiling at Ryann. “Though it would have been a nice touch.”
“Oh, thank God.”
Lana relaxes and heads to the door. Opening it, she bursts into tears as Sutton and Hunter approach the door.
“I said I wasn’t going to cry, yet here I am,” she sobs. “Ignore me.” Wrapping her arms around Sutton, she hugs her. “I am so happy you’re home.”
Sutton looks tired. And thinner than she did before her stint in the hospital. But I guess all of that is to be expected. Hunter hovers like a helicopter boyfriend, and I can sense he’s scared to even let her out of his sight.
It’s funny; Hunter was dating my semi-friend Paige before he and Sutton got together. Paige dumped him and broke his heart. But judging by the way he looks at Sutton, I think everything has worked out exactly as it was supposed to. The dude is head over heels in love with the girl.
Maybe, one day, I’ll find someone and stop comparing every person I meet to Walker James. I hope so anyway.
As Sutton gets farther into the house and the others are finished hugging her, I take a few nervous steps toward her. “Glad to have you back.” I give her a small smile. “You look good.”
Her eyes narrow, but the corners of her lips turn up. “You lying bitch, you know I don’t look good.”
“Fine.” I shrug. “You look like ass. Happy?”
She laughs once before sighing. “Thank you, Poppy.”
“Anytime.” I nod just as Hunter comes next to her, placing his hand on her shoulder.
“Little Bird, it’s been a long morning for you. And you’re still recovering.” He leans down, kissing her cheek. “Let’s get you settled in for a nap. All right?”
Rolling her eyes, she grins up at him. “Yes, boss.”
As she turns toward the hallway, she holds her hand up at all of us. “Thank you, girls. For the decorations and for making my homecoming so special.”
Hunter takes her hand, leading her to her bedroom.
Ryann comes next to me and throws her arm around me. “Proud of you, biotch.”
“For what?” I whisper, knowing exactly what she means.
Resting her head on mine, she sighs. “For being nice. For not being an asshole. And for choosing to believe in the good over the bad. You’re growing.”
I swallow, inhaling a long breath and letting it out. Maybe I am.
I’m doing my best to just…what’s that saying? Let it be? I mean, Jake called me yesterday, thrilled because Walker had come and seen his house. And then he took him to lunch. I’m happy for Jake. Really, I am. But I guess I’m envious too. Because between them, things have seemingly just gone back to normal.
But if my brother is happy, I will be happy for him too.
My peaceful moment is quickly ruined when my phone rings. When I look down and see it’s the prison, I close my eyes for a few seconds before rejecting the call.
Ron Wilson is not going to ruin this day. He’s already done that enough to last a lifetime. But today, I’m choosing to believe in the good. And he…he’s the furthest thing from that.
*********
Walker
I don’t know why I’m here. I shouldn’t be. There’s absolutely no point to it besides to stir up old shit that is only going to fuck my head up more than it already is.
Honestly though, Poppy’s already fucked it up to the extreme. What’s one more thing going to hurt?
Driving past the trailer Poppy, Van, and Jake grew up in, I frown when I see what looks like Cade Huff’s truck pulling out of the driveway.
I’ve done some digging and found out that Van still lives there. Rumor on the street is, now that his old man is in prison, Van has taken over the drug-dealing business.
God, that makes me so fucking sad and pissed off at the same time. But at least Poppy got out of here. And for that, I’m thankful.
What the fuck? I narrow my eyes to see HUFF4 on the license plate, instantly knowing it is Cade.
I have no clue why he’d be at Van’s. That’s no place anyone should be. Well, besides crackheads, I suppose. Clearly, Cade isn’t who I thought he was. His demons must run deeper than I ever imagined they did.
Luckily, Huff turns out the other way and doesn’t see my truck at the end of the street. Once he’s gone, I look out my window at my childhood home. The windows are almost all busted out now. And parts of the roof are falling off. The steps look like someone could fall through if they moved wrong. I need to drive away. I need to get out of here.
So, why the fuck am I pushing my truck door open, walking up to it?
When I peer through the windows, it looks completely trashed. Like homeless people had a party inside once we left it. If I know this street, I’m sure that’s exactly what happened.
Flashing before me, I see my dad passed out on the couch after shooting up. I see my mom in bed, unable to get up and make breakfast for my sister and me. I see the times they had to Narcan each other, back when they were given free supplies of it.
I see two kids trying to do their homework with absolutely no one around who could help them. Those same kids scrounged through the cupboards, trying to find something, anything to eat.
I see my sister walking out of her room after losing her first tooth. She held it in her hand, confused as to why the tooth fairy hadn’t taken it. It didn’t take long for us to grow up and not believe in anything.
But as crazy as it is, I look deeper and also see the good.
I remember those eighteen months when they were both sober. There was a Christmas tree in the living room with a few packages under it—one each for Briar and me. Since my mom knew that Ron never acknowledged Christmas, she got Poppy, Jake, and Van each something too.
I remember when Poppy opened hers. It was a bag with her initials on it to put her dance stuff in. She cried. It was the first time I had ever seen tears fall from her eyes, confirming she was human. For Jake, it was a football of his very own. And for Van, it was a cookbook. Because he loved cooking more than anything. I got my first new pair of skates, and Briar got the Harry Potter books she had been wanting. She loved to read that shit.
I have no idea how they had saved money to buy everything, but each gift was given from my mom’s heart. And I’ll never forget that. Even when they relapsed shortly after and fell back into their addiction. For a short time, my sister and I’d had our parents.
That’s something that Poppy and her brothers will never get the chance to say.
Poppy’s mother left a few weeks after giving birth to her and Van. And their father, Ron, has done unthinkable things to his children. From locking them in a closet for days at a time to beating them until they were bruised and battered and even trying to allow men to rape his daughter simply to save his own ass.
The world would be a better place if he were dead.
I don’t know why I didn’t see it sooner. I don’t know why she had to scream it out for me to understand. She couldn’t lie for me. She had to protect her brothers. It was never about Ron or even herself. It was about Jake. And making sure that he got the life he deserved when he was eighteen.
I’ve punished her for years. Abandoned her. Convinced myself I hated her even. And now…I’ve fucked everything up beyond repair.
Before I left, I always thought that when we got a little older, I’d grow a set of balls and tell her exactly how I felt. I never planned to leave Sunset Drive without her. And then I did.
The damage is done. And I don’t know how to repair it. Especially when she doesn’t look at me the same. She looks at me with those eyes she looks at everyone else with.
Seeing enough, I turn back toward my truck. And that’s where I see him.
Van Wilson. A kid I spent most of my time with back then. He was the brother I never had. But now, he looks like a ghost of his old self. He’s scrawny with his hair unkempt, his clothes dirty, and his eyes lost.
I should be scared, but I’m too fucking sad to fear him.
“Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.” He lights a cigarette before taking a drag. “Rich boy, what the fuck are you doing back on my street?”
“I was…just riding around and ended up here.” I take a few steps toward my truck, keeping the distance between us.
Van always had a heart of gold. But the thing with addiction is that it takes the soul and replaces it with something else. Greed. And selfishness.
“Well, go on. Take your privileged ass off my street.” He jerks his chin toward my truck. “Before your truck doesn’t look so shiny.”
“Touch my truck, and I’ll put you in the ground,” I growl, my eyes roaming over him. “What the fuck happened to you, Van?” I shrug. “You wanted to get out of this shithole. You wanted to own a restaurant. Now, look. You’re just like your old man.”
“Well, rich boy, not all of us have loaded uncles who step in and invite us to live in their mansions.” He takes another drag from his cigarette, blowing the smoke into the air. “For some of us, this is all we’ve got. So, we make the best of it.” He takes a step toward me, snarling, “You got lucky, James—that’s all. If your parents hadn’t died, you’d be right where I am. Guaranteed.”
I charge toward him, grabbing a fistful of his shirt. “Don’t mention my parents again, you fucking loser.”
He laughs, his eyes sunken in, and I hardly recognize this person who used to be my friend. “Just like my sister, you think you’re too good for me now, huh?” Shrugging from my hold, he shakes his head. “You’re not. You’re a sellout. A poor kid who left his friends and never looked back.” He pauses. “Stay the hell away from my sister. Last thing she needs is for you to fuck with her head. Again.”
“Your sister made choices too,” I mutter, glaring at him. “I’m not the only one who has done shit that had consequences.”
When a car pulls into his driveway, he looks back at it before looking at me. “Stay away from my sister. I’ve got a lot of people who would love nothing more than to take out the kneecaps of the infamous Walker James.”
“What happened to you?” I whisper, looking him over.
His eyes soften the slightest bit. “Stay off of this street, James. Don’t come back here again.”
As he starts to turn, I call behind him, “Whatever business you’ve got with Cade Huff, leave him the fuck alone.”
A bitter laugh comes from him before he turns. “Protecting your fellow Wolf now?” He looks at me with disgust. “There was a time you would protect the ones who considered you family. Glad to see that’s not the case.” He turns away from me. “Cade Huff’s a customer. Believe it or not, Brooks Wolves can be junkies too.”
And then he walks away.
I know I can’t say anything to Huff. It won’t go well. And I sure as hell can’t tell on him because that alone could end his entire hockey career. But, fuck, I wish I had never driven here tonight. And then I wouldn’t have this information eating away at me, and I wouldn’t have seen how bad things have gotten with Van.
He might have told me to stay away from Poppy, but I’m tired of doing that. And the more time passes, the more I’m figuring out…you can’t leave some things in the past.