Chapter 19
Zac
Sitting on the bench sucks, especially when your team’s losing two-nil.
It’s not Dane’s fault. He’s made some clutch saves during the game, and the goals that went through were the kind that leave a keeper stranded—wrong angle, wrong bounce, nothing he could’ve done.
Coach Johnson gives my teammates a good rev-up at half time, and they’re a lot tighter in the second half, but we still can’t find the net.
My knee bounces in the seventy-seventh minute as the ball goes out for a keeper’s kick. Dane plays it short to Ritter, who takes one touch before playing Noah, who’s powering through the midfield. He slips past two defenders and threads a pass to Logan, whose shot hits the crossbar.
Everyone on the bench releases a collective groan, but he wins it back a second later, chasing down a defender with an impressive slide tackle that’s all ball. He plays it wide to Jasper, who crosses it in for a goal.
The boys are playing with renewed vigour. They lock in and fight for the ball, and in the next eight minutes we get three more shots on goal to Thorburn’s one, which Dane manages to save by the skin of his teeth.
As the clock ticks down, we’re desperate to at least tie the game. Thorburn has possession, and their striker’s coming in hot, but Noah presses him in an impressive one-on-one, and when he tries to fake, Noah steals the ball, ploughing up the pitch and breaking the line.
I jump to my feet, screaming as he dances around one defender, then another. His eyes scan the pitch, looking for an open player, but Thorburn are man on. Realising there’s no viable option, he burns up the pitch to the top of the box and takes his chance.
Time seems to stand still as the ball powers towards top bins. The keeper jumps, but he’s a split second too late, and the ball sails over his head. It hits the back of the net, and the ref blows three sharp whistles.
We celebrate as if we’ve won the game, but to be honest, we’re just happy to take the two points against the team sitting second on the ladder—especially playing on our home turf.
After our terrible start to the season, we’re starting to gel and play good soccer, and when our captain finishes with a run from the back line like that, it’s enough to lift us all.
The mood is high in the change rooms, but my smile drops when Jasper announces a party at their place.
I’m meeting my masked shadow at Euphoria at ten, so I’ll have to find a way to dip out of the party early without drawing attention to myself.
There’s no way my mates will let me skip it altogether.
“You good?” Ritter asks, noticing my expression.
“Yeah,” I say, rubbing the back of my neck. “I’m still feeling a little under the weather.”
It’s a lie, but if I’m ducking out of the party early, it’s best to lay the groundwork now.
“At least come for one beer?”
I pretend to think it over. “Yeah, one won’t hurt me.”
“Damn straight, brother.” He grins and slaps me on the back.
I shove Ritter off me with a playful hand to his face and make my way over to our captain, who’s sitting in front of his cubby, staring at the floor and looking like he’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders.
He looks up as I approach and tries to smile, but it comes across as more of a grimace.
“What’s up?” I drop onto the bench next to him and nudge him with my shoulder, ignoring the stirring in my stomach from the innocent contact. “For someone who went beast mode to score the clincher, you look like you’re on your way to a funeral.”
He drags a hand through his hair. “It was a draw.”
“We still get the two points,” I say with a shrug, leaning back against the cubby.
The room is buzzing with guys shouting, laughing, and roughhousing. Noah doesn’t seem to register any of it.
“Yeah.” His shoulders sag.
Something’s definitely off with him.
“Come on. Spill. What else is bugging you?”
He lets out a heavy sigh. His gaze flicks to the change room door like he’s looking for an escape. “I’m not in the party mood.”
“Then hide in your room,” I say. “No one will even notice you’re not there after a few drinks.”
“That’s not—” He cuts himself off, his jaw tightening. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter.” He jerks to his feet, his bag slamming against his hip as he swings it up. “See you there.”
I shake my head as I watch him leave. He’s a fucking conundrum sometimes.
Cars are already lining the street when we arrive at Noah’s townhouse. It didn’t take long for word to spread. I check my watch. It’s seven. I have a couple of hours to kill before ducking out.
I follow my teammates into the party, greeting people as we make our way to the kitchen to grab drinks.
Our captain’s nowhere to be seen, and I wonder if he took my advice and he’s hiding in his room.
I’m tempted to go check, but it doesn’t feel right, and I don’t want to walk in on him with his girlfriend if Hannah’s here.
Instead, I head into the living room and try to enjoy myself.
Blake takes a swig of his beer, then points the bottle across the room to where Theo licks salt off some girl’s tits, then downs the shot of tequila she spits into his mouth. “If I ever end up like that, can one of you put me out of my misery?”
“Seriously,” Ritter agrees.
“He’s not so bad,” I say, defending the guy I grew up with. “He’s just a little… lost.”
Everett snorts. “The dude is travelling down Alice in Wonderland’s rabbit hole. Sometimes I wonder how he even graduated.”
The others laugh, but my gaze lingers on Theo, wondering what the hell is going on with him.
Despite what our teammates think, he’s not dumb.
Far from it. The guy has a ridiculously high IQ and an honours degree in mechanical engineering.
It’s hard to believe this chaotic party guy is the same kid who grew up obsessed with planes and taking his toys apart so he could see how they work.
Something is going on with him, but while I’ve known him a long time, we’re not close enough that I’m comfortable asking him.
Maybe I’ll give our former captain a call—Luca and Theo were inseparable.
Maybe he can get to the bottom of Theo’s issues.
Though I have to admit, calling an English Championship League footballer is kind of daunting.
What would I even say? Hey, man. Sorry to bother you while you’re over there living your dream, but your best mate is on a destructive path that’s going to see him suffering from alcohol poisoning or a severe case of chlamydia?
Noah strides in, grinning and waving at a few people before joining us.
His easy smile has heat engulfing my body—I wish I’d stop reacting this way to him.
Nothing will ever happen between us. Besides, I’m meeting my mysterious shadow in a couple of hours.
I need to focus on what I can control, and fucking someone else who makes me shiver is a lot smarter than crushing on my straight captain.
Noah arches a brow.
“Huh?” I ask when I realise he’s asked me a question.
“I said, have you seen Hannah? I asked her to meet me here.”
My stomach sinks, and I curse myself for being an idiot. She’s his girlfriend. Of course he wants her here.
“No. Sorry.”
He rakes a hand through his hair, that heavy look back on his face.
“Seriously, man,” I press. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, fine,” he says, pulling out his phone. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“You’ve been a bit off tonight.”
Noah taps out a message on his phone before glancing up at me, and for a second, I catch a glimpse of something akin to fear or pain in his eyes, but then he blinks it away, and the walls come back up.
He forces a grin that doesn’t reach his eyes, knocking his shoulder into mine playfully.
“I’m all good, Kincaid. Just had a big day. ”
Someone calls his name from behind us, and we both turn to see Hannah weaving through the crowd.
Instead of relaxing like I thought he would, he stiffens.
That doesn’t stop him from pulling her in for a hug, kissing the top of her head, and murmuring something in her ear.
She smiles up at him and nods, and he wraps his arm around her shoulder.
“Catch you guys later,” he mutters.
I watch him guide her towards the stairs, the heat from the crowded room buzzing against my skin, a pressure building behind my ribs that I try to pretend isn’t disappointment or worse, jealousy.
The boys erupt behind me, wolf-whistling and making whipping noises over him leaving the fun down here to get his dick wet.
He flips the bird over his shoulder, and they all laugh, but I just take another swig of my beer, wishing I was anywhere but here.
I shouldn’t let this bother me so much. I’ll be with my shadow soon, a man who actually wants to be with me.
So, why can’t I stop thinking about what my captain is doing upstairs with his girlfriend?