Chapter 10
I’m languishing in bed, cocooned in sheets that undoubtedly cost more than I earn in a week. It’s glorious. For someone who usually travels cattle class and stays in budget hotels and hostels, this level of bougie is a real indulgence.
My phone blares from under the bedding. Only one person would call me this early.
‘Hey, Rox,’ I say, making my voice bright when her face appears on screen.
‘How is it going? Have you thrown yourself into bed with the nearest warm bod yet?’
Why does Jasper’s face spring to mind? I blink the vision away. ‘No, I haven’t, but I am about to throw myself in the shower.’
‘Urgh, boring. Anyway, an update: Miles is alive.’ Her voice is laced with disappointment.
If Miles is alive (which I hope was always the plan) then someone has checked on him, which means he is able to communicate, and yet I still haven’t heard from him. ‘So that’s a good thing, right? You didn’t really want to kill him, did you?’ I brace for her answer.
‘Only half.’
‘That’s the issue with homicide though, Rox.
It’s an all or nothing kind of thing. And to be frank, you’re terrifically unsuited for jail life.
Sure, there’s no doubt you could run a prison gang, but you’re used to the finer things in life – hair, nails, beauty treatments.
Imagine your skin care routine. There wouldn’t be one. ’
She gasps. ‘The horror! I didn’t think that far ahead. Anyway, according to my sources, he suffered a fair bit since so that’s something.’
I fall back on the cloud-like pillows. ‘Does he know it was you?’
‘Apparently he suspects, but what’s he’s going to do? Get the police out to fingerprint the place? Not going to happen.’
‘The perfect crime.’
‘He might question his drink of choice in future. Anyway, enough about him, are you OK, Aubrey, really?’
I exhale all the lies that sit on the tip of my tongue. There is no point pretending with my sister – that inherent politeness that I use to make light of even the hardest situations won’t wash with her. ‘Not really, but I’m making the best of it.’
Rox grunts. ‘It’s OK to rant and rage and feel your feelings, Aubrey. All of them are valid. You don’t always have to slip on that veneer, you know.’
My sister is many things, but she has a good heart. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself. If only I had her chutzpah, her complete disregard for the opinions of others.
‘Well, I have managed to find myself in a spot of bother. When I was asked where my sparkly brand-new husband was, I blurted out that he died a tragic death. Plunging down the gap.’
Rox guffaws down the line. ‘Oh my God, Aubrey – what made you do that? Wishful thinking, perhaps?’
I groan and hold a hand to my forehead. ‘I got flustered and it came out. I tried to backtrack and explain that he’s not really dead, but they take that the wrong way as well, like I’m talking about him in the afterlife, or as if he’s still around me, in a spiritual sense.
I’ve quite made a mess of it. And not only that, but the story has also changed from person to person.
Princess thinks he died eating death cap mushrooms. I’m not sure where that nugget came from.
Then there was a mention of a sinkhole. Who knows what else they’ve conjured. ’
‘Princess? These people sound fab! What a laugh.’ Trust Rox to find it amusing when it’s actually super awkward.
‘Yes, she’s a fabulous woman who introduces herself accordingly.’
‘I wish I was with you.’
We lapse into silence before I ask, ‘So I suppose it’s all anyone is talking about in the village?’
Rox waits a beat before saying, ‘Who cares what they’re talking about? We live in a village full of busybodies. They’d have been gossiping about you, married or not.’
‘True.’ Small-town life is a hotbed for gossip, good or bad. ‘I’ve met some lovely people on board already, there’s?—’
‘Any potentials? And don’t tell me it’s too soon. Newsflash – you’re thirty-nine years old. You’re almost forty. It’s time to make hay while the sun shines. Get all that sex in before you lose the urge. You’re a strong independent woman, who can shag whoever she wants, whenever she wants.’
I gasp, faux shocked. ‘Almost forty! I’m one step away from spinsterhood. Quickly, call the cat rescue, tell them I’ll take them all!’
‘Very funny. If there’s one thing I understand, it’s my sister, and a break-up like this will have you closing the metaphorical doors to your heart, and other regions, I might add, for years to come. If you don’t use it, you lose it. No, you simply don’t have time for a sabbatical of the heart.’
I blithely ignore her terrible advice. ‘I’m quite sure I do.
In fact, I’ve already erected a sign that reads: Closed for maintenance.
There’s no man on this entire planet that…
that…’ I lose my train of thought as my turncoat mind pictures Jasper.
The intensity of his bluey-green eyes, the way he holds my gaze, almost hypnotising me.
There’s a sharp intake of breath from Rox. ‘Oh my God, you have already met someone! Who is he?’ Her beady eye is up to the camera, terrifyingly close. It’s an intimidation tactic, but I’m well aware of it and it affects me not. ‘Aubrey, who is he?’
I’m not having this conversation. ‘There’s no one.’
‘Don’t you lie to me or I’ll be at the next platform waiting to board the Winter Wonderland Express.’
OK, that threat I take seriously, because she will act on it. ‘Fine, you’re impossible, you know that? There’s this one guy, Jasper. He’s hot, smouldering and it’s all very superficial of me. There’s nothing in it.’
‘The perfect holiday fling with a side of rebound – hot and smouldering! It’s like Cupid has set down the perfect snack for you.’
‘Snack? He’s definitely not fun sized.’
She makes a bawdy sound. ‘Even better!’
‘Rox!’
‘There’s hope yet.’
‘Fine, can you let it go for now please?’
‘I cannot. I’ll need a pic of him. Today. Full name, stats. I’ll do a deep dive for you. A quick rummage on the dark web. Make sure he’s all good.’
‘Sure, sure. I’ll send you his details,’ I lie. The dark web? My sister scares the life out of me at times.
‘Now, just going back to the boring bit for a moment. Have you heard from Miles yet? Let me guess, that snivelling bottom feeder?—’
I close my eyes and wish the bed would swallow me whole. ‘No, not a call or a text. Nothing.’
‘Give me ten minutes.’
‘Wait!’ Too late, she’s already gone.
I should’ve seen that coming; instead, I got lulled into a false sense of security that my sister was offering her skills as a listening ear, not an avenger. And that’s on me; I should know better by now. While I wait for the inevitable, I shower and dress for the day.
As I’m drying my hair, my phone bleats and I take a deep breath. Incoming video call from Rox. For a moment my vision blurs as I prepare for what I might be met with.
Rox with Miles in a headlock. Rox with…
I swipe the screen. ‘Hello.’
Rox has her face so close to the camera all I see is her eyeball. ‘He’s gone.’
Dead? My stomach clenches. She’s killed him for real this time. ‘What! Ah, gone as in…?’
‘Worst man Leo can answer that.’ Another face comes into view. It’s Miles’s flat mate and best man Leo, wearing PJs and an abject look of pity with a hefty dose of fear in his eyes, probably due to Rox’s impromptu visit.
‘Hey, Aubrey.’ His face contorts as if he’s actually in pain. Poor guy. Out of all of Miles’s friends, Leo is the only one I ever really liked. The others behave as if they stopped maturing back in high school.
I can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for the guy, being wrenched out of bed and forced to face us because Miles is in incognito mode. ‘Hi, Leo. I’m sorry you’re stuck in the middle of all of this.’
He hides a yawn behind his hand. ‘You’re not the one who needs to apologise. I’m really sorry to have to tell you, Aubrey. Miles is still in a right state. He… he…’
‘It’s not a bloody Michael Jackson song,’ Rox rebukes Leo. ‘He he… what? Where the hell is he and why doesn’t he have the decency to apologise to my sister after what he did? I should have bloody well killed him.’
‘Rox!’ I’d hazard a guess there’s a direct link to my sister’s lack of people skills and my need to live elsewhere in the world. Captain Chaos means well, but it’s a lot to manage at times. ‘Let him speak.’
‘Well, speak!’
I stifle a sigh.
Leo scrubs his face, and not for the first time I see the ripple effect this fallout is having on the people we love. It’s not their circus, yet they’ve all been dragged into it like performing monkeys while Miles avoids me. ‘I’m honestly fine.’
‘She’s not, you know!’
Rox! ‘But it would be good to chat to Miles at some stage, put the whole sorry situation to bed once and for all.’ I mean, I don’t want to have to beg for common decency but here we are.
‘Right. Yeah, hopefully he’ll do that at some point.’
I clamp my lips closed so my anger at the situation doesn’t spill out and I scare the poor man further.
Leo continues. ‘The night before the wedding he didn’t get a wink of sleep and he hasn’t eaten much since, and you know what he’s like if he doesn’t have?—’
‘—a hundred and thirty grams of protein,’ I finish for him and roll my eyes. God, how did I get swept away with a guy who cares more about his protein intake than me?
Leo’s eyes fill with anguish. ‘He does love you, Aubrey. I’m sure this is just a blip. But honestly, at the church he suffered a full-blown panic attack. He lost it in front of everyone. I don’t want to make excuses, but it really knocked his confidence and I think he reacted in the moment.’
‘Boo hoo!’ Rox spits. ‘He could have shared that with his bride-to-be. In sickness and health, isn’t that part of it?’
A full-blown panic attack? Still, Rox is right. That doesn’t excuse the radio silence.
‘A few hours later, he finally calmed down and then suddenly he got violently ill.’ Leo gives Rox the side-eye.
I take a second to process it. Miles is all about appearances, but he didn’t care for me enough to worry about how I’d feel by forsaking me and leaving me to arrive at a church jam-packed with guests, a church that he’d absconded from.
‘He could have called. Text. Sent a carrier pigeon. He still ought to. It’s been three days now. ’
‘Yes, yes, he should have and I’d tell him that if I could.
’ Leo has dark circles under his eyes, as if he too hasn’t slept.
It’s not fair on him, being bullied by Rox to field video calls from me.
It’s not his battle, and the fight goes out of me.
‘That’s the thing though, Aubrey. Miles is… missing.’
‘Missing?’
‘Missing. He left a note to say he needed time.’
My stomach turns. ‘Time for what exactly?’
Leo gives a helpless shrug.
‘I thought he was of the opinion he’d rushed into things and wanted to end it?’ Which is it? Am I supposed to wait and see, like some dumbstruck idiot?
‘He’s just confused.’
‘He’s just a horrible troll with a bad haircut!
Now he pulls a stunt like this,’ Rox spits.
‘Another attempt at garnering sympathy while my poor sister had to take her freaking honeymoon alone!’ Her face appears on screen.
‘I wanted to tell you so many times he was a dud. You can always tell when a guy ends his sentences with “Do you feel me?” Like, gross, but did you listen? No. Urgh.’
Now that she mentions it, that did always irk me. ‘I’m not sure I have the capacity to worry about where he’s gone missing to.’ Am I supposed to worry about him? Does he deserve that?
Leo continues. ‘Things got a little heated at the wedding reception, and word got back to Miles.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, a few people were none too happy with his actions. I rather think he’s missing to hide from the worst of the fallout.’
‘Ah!’ Rox yells in the background. ‘He’s not missing, he’s hiding. That’s Miles to a T.’
Leo’s face is a mess of warring emotions, but he stays silent. Probably for the best. What else can he say? Miles has run away. Again.
‘Thanks for everything, Leo,’ I say. ‘We’ll leave it there for now and I promise you won’t get any more visits from Rox.’
He nods, gives me a thankful smile. ‘Chin up, eh?’
Rox snatches the phone from him and soon she’s whizzing down the street, houses a blur in the background.
‘Are you still using the stolen e-scooter?’
‘It’s not stolen. It’s borrowed!’
‘From whom?’
‘How would I know? They didn’t leave a forwarding address or anything.’
‘You’re going to get arrested for theft!’
She laughs high and loud. My sister is so wild, having the sort of self-possession that she does even when she’s breaking the law or bending life to her will. ‘They have to catch me first.’
I can only shake my head.
‘Do you want me to track down Miles?’ There’s a gleeful shine to her eyes. ‘Or leave him be?’
I stare her down. Although knowing Rox I have to make these boundaries abundantly clear. ‘Do not under any circumstances track him down. No trailing, stalking, hunting, scheming, or plotting revenge.’
‘Fiiiine,’ she says like a petulant child. ‘Take every ounce of fun away, why don’t you?’
‘Sorry, Rox. I’m just so confused by all of this. I’m going to try and forget about it all for a bit and enjoy exploring Bruges.’
‘That’s more like it.’
‘Take the e-scooter back, please.’
‘Yes, Mum.’ She salutes and ends the video call.