28. Ryder
Ryder
The storm has passed, and in more ways than just one.
They usually do within twenty-four hours, and that’s when the real work begins.
There’s also the work we’ll need to put in for us.
I’m not completely ignorant and thinking we’re riding off into the sunset.
I know that things aren’t all stop and smell the roses wonderful between us just yet.
I hurt her. There will be a transition period where we have to learn about each other all over again.
I know nothing about her past four years, and she doesn’t really know much about mine.
I have a hundred stories I want to tell her, and I’m certain she’s got a hundred to tell me too.
Including the summer I left her.
I know certain details haven’t been shared with me.
Too many times over the past couple of months there have been hints at her mental and physical state, and I’m going to have to listen and own what my leaving did to her.
It’s not something I necessarily want to bring up right away, but sooner or later, I’ll need her to tell me.
While in my heart I believe we are letting go and moving on, some things shouldn’t be swept under the rug.
I want her to want to be open with me. I want her to trust me.
And that’s what it comes down to: trust.
“I can feel you thinking. What’s on your mind?” she asks, stretching like Felix as she’s just woken up.
We’re still in bed and muted daylight is leaking around the curtains. I didn’t have to be at practice this morning, so we took advantage of the time and stayed wrapped up together under the blankets. I’m on my back, and she’s draped over me like I’m one giant body pillow.
“That we still have a lot to talk about and a lot to figure out.”
Her head shifts on my biceps and she looks at me. Her beautiful, warm gaze bounces back and forth between mine, and two little lines settle between her eyes.
“Do you still have things you need to figure out?”
I shift a little so I can run my hand up, down, and over her bare hip. “Not where you and I are concerned. I’d marry you today if you let me, but I want to do this right.”
Her eyes widen. “You want to marry me?”
“Did you think there was any other outcome besides that one? Now that I’ve got you, I’m never letting you go.”
Her smile starts slowly, but then it lights up her whole face. It’s automatic for me to smile back, and she giggles as she runs her hand over my chest. I swear her hands on me are the best feeling. It’s such a great feeling. I’m about to have a chubby.
“I mean, it’s been like twelve hours.” She looks at me like I’m crazy.
“No, it hasn’t. It’s been eleven years. But if you’re not ready, I understand. I’m just happy to finally get to be with you.”
Am I worried that she and I are not endgame?
No. Alice was always the one sure thing in my life.
We may have taken a brief pause, but we’re here now, and she’ll come around.
She’s always been a little more hesitant to jump into the deep end than me, but eventually, she’ll realize I’m there waiting for her, and she’ll jump too.
“It’s not that I’m not necessarily ready.” Her voice is wary.
“No, I get it. As I said, I want to do this right. With you. What we need to figure out is how to break this to the Tarpons. I don’t want to do anything that would affect your position on the team, but at the same time, I don’t want to hide you. I want to tell the world that I’m yours.”
“You’re mine, huh?” She grins.
“You know I am.” I dig my fingers into her rib cage, and she squeals with laughter.
From my nightstand, my phone dings. I have different sounds set for different text chains, and this one has come from Marcus, my defensive coordinator. I reach for it to see what he says.
“I swear, your phone goes off more than any phone ever.”
“My teammates like to gossip like a bunch of thirteen-year-old girls. It’s nonstop, but this one is from my coach.” We read it together.
Coach Williams: Relief cleanup. If available, meet at HQ in 1 hr. Bring tools for debris.
Sometime during the night, the storm ended up making landfall south of us. We were fortunate that the eye didn’t cross over Tampa and the worst of the winds didn’t impact us. According to the news, it did, however, bring some storm surge, and, like every time, there are plenty of trees down.
I drop the phone and groan. I don’t want to leave her. We just got to this place, and I want to stay here in bed with her all day.
“You have to go, don’t you?” She runs her fingers through my hair.
I let out a deep sigh. “Yes. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You’ll be out there making a difference, while I’ll be here sleeping.”
My heart leaps. “You’ll stay and wait for me?”
“Someone did say they were pretty good on the grill. I have to believe you’ve got some meat around here somewhere.”
“Oh, I have meat.” I take her hand and slide it down my body. No longer just a chubby, her fingers lovingly wrap around me.
“Such a guy,” she says as she strokes me, making me harder.
“Your guy,” I tell her, rolling her under me and capturing her mouth.
I’ve stopped counting how many times we were together last night. While I feel out of control and insatiable, I’m pretty sure she feels the same way too. It’s like we can’t get enough of each other. I don’t want to either.
Knowing the clock is ticking, it doesn’t take us long. Whereas I feel rejuvenated and hop out of bed, she looks content and sleepy as she snuggles down.
“Come on, I want to make you a cup of coffee.”
“Hmm, coffee sounds like what I need.” She sits up and pushes her hair off her face. Damn, she looks so good sitting right there.
“I got this coffee for you in Seattle. Camden says it’s the best.” I grab a pair of boxer briefs from the drawer and pull them on. Turning around, I find her sitting up with the sheet pulled to her chest, and she’s staring at me. “What?”
“You bought me coffee in Seattle? That was like a month ago.”
“I know.”
I know she’s also thinking that we hadn’t reconciled then, but she was still enough on my mind that I thought to get her a gift. And she was.
“I love you,” she says softly. My heart flips. I will never get tired of hearing that.
“I love you, too.” I walk over, bend down, and kiss her. “Get dressed, or don’t.” I smirk. “But come have a cup with me before I leave.”
Judging by the reaction on her face, Camden’s not wrong about the flavor. She savors the cup while we sit together on the couch and watch the news.
Tampa has pockets where we all know what will happen during one of these storms. We know which roads will flood, where the storm surge will hit hardest, and which neighborhoods are most likely to be without power. I’m certain the organization has a plan. It’s probably one they execute every time.
“I’m going to tell Sully. I can’t keep it from him. He’s such a stickler for the rules. He’d probably sniff this out anyway, but he might be able to help us. He might know of a loophole.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to get you in trouble. I don’t mind keeping this between us until the season is over, and then we can figure it out.” She’s wearing one of my T-shirts. It’s distracting.
“Is that what you want?”
Felix hops up between us and makes his way over to her. He’s awestruck by her, and I don’t blame him. We’ve been two dudes for a while now, and she is lovely. She runs her fingers through his fur, and he flops down next to her.
“No. It is what it is. I love being on the sidelines and cheering for you, but if my options are to get you every day, all day with no worries, I can cheer for you in the stands, too.”
She says this, but I know her dream was to be a professional cheerleader, too. I hate the idea of taking away one of her dreams, and that’s what will happen, but this is ultimately her decision to make.
“Al, I want to host Thanksgiving with you. I want my mom and your parents to come over, and we all spend it together. I want to go pick out our first Christmas tree together. I want to kiss you at midnight on New Year’s Eve, and the moment the season is over, I want to whisk you away on a dream vacation.
While I know we can keep us on the down-low, I really don’t want to.
But this is up to you, and I’ll support whatever you want. ”
She brings the cup to her mouth and takes another sip as she watches me over the rim. Oh, to be in that beautiful head of hers. She lowers the cup.
“So we agree then. You tell Sully. Let’s start there.”
* * *
I thought I would be nervous to tell him, but I’m not.
I know the Tarpons have this rule in place to keep everyone in check, but I don’t feel like we’ve done anything wrong.
We aren’t together for scandal, drama, a quick hookup, or a power play.
We’re together because we love each other, and I’m more excited to tell everyone than afraid of backlash.
Isn’t that the feeling you’re supposed to have when you finally land your dream girl?
“Sully, can we talk for a second?” I grab him the moment I see him at headquarters. Everyone is gathering on the practice field. I don’t know how they will split us up today, and I need to do this sooner rather than later.
“Of course. What’s up?”
I walk us away from the group, so it’s just him and me. He follows, looking at me curiously. My hands bracket my hips, and I look down at the ground. It’s now or never. This conversation needs to be had, and he’s the first one.
Looking back up at him, I hold my head high like a man and own this. Even if he does have fifty pounds on me.
“Alice,” I tell him, and his eyes automatically clear with understanding. He knows what I’m about to tell him. “There’s no stopping it, even if I wanted to, which, for the record, I don’t.”
His face is neutral as he studies me, and then he lets out a deep sigh.
“I know.”
I frown. “Wait. How do you know?”
“Well, I’m not an idiot. I’ve seen the way you look at her, and when you’re not watching, I’ve seen the way she looks at you, too. It’s obvious to everyone. The heart wants what the heart wants.”
I know I should be focusing on the part where he says it’s obvious to everyone, but I’m stuck on the feel-good part, and I can’t hold back my satisfaction. “How does she look at me?”
He groans and shakes his head.
“I can’t give away all her secrets. You’ll have to figure that out on your own.”
“Are we going to get in trouble?”
He shifts his weight. “Believe it or not, I’ve had your back since the beginning.
Gretchen, Danica, Coach Williams, myself—there are a lot of people who’ve been silently cheering for the two of you.
Our people are already in communication with her people.
Be up front and open about it when you’re ready, and my gut tells me it’s all going to be fine. ”
The pressure that has been sitting on top of my shoulders lifts. Instantly.
“You did this for me?”
“Of course. I’m your captain,” he tells me like this should explain it all. But then he smirks. “You were going to violate the handbook. I had to know what my punishment options were.”
I chuckle and lean in to hug him. He returns it with a few pats on the back.
“Besides, this is their doing. How would it look for the Tarpons to fine you or fire her? You’re one of the hottest sports celebrity couples. While you haven’t come out and publicly claimed to be together, I think most people think you already are. The fans wouldn’t react kindly.”
I guess I never considered it from that angle.
I was worried about following the rules and keeping things private that the campaign, which we both hated, actually works in our favor.
In a way, it’s like a team endorsement. He’s right.
If they don’t bring her back next year, there will be speculation and negative commentary, and no one wants that.
“Thanks, man.”
“Have you told her?”
A smile splits my face. “Yes, and I’ll continue to tell her every day for the rest of my life.”