Chapter 35
You both deserve some peace
Clara
I started to gather my hair up into a ponytail, but then winced when I pulled on the stitches.
“Fuck it,” I muttered under my breath as I threw the hairband into my small backpack and tucked my hair behind my ears. I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before slinging my backpack over my shoulder and turning away from the bedside table.
“Miss Mason?” a nurse called to me from the doorway and my eyes closed in frustration. “You’re not leaving, are you?”
“I’ve seen the doctor this morning. I’ve had twenty-four hours of observation. There was nothing to find on the scan. I’m going home.”
She darted a nervous look behind her, then back at me. “Listen, I don’t think you should––”
“I cannot afford private care,” I said through gritted teeth.
“But that’s not a problem,” the nurse said through a wide smile. “Lord Sterling is—”
“Lord Sterling has nothing to do with me. I’ll pay my own bill, and I’m leaving right now.”
“Thank you so much, but please don’t worry, nurse,” Rafe’s deep voice came from the doorway, and the nurse’s shoulders dropped with relief. “I’ll take it from here.”
“Of course, Lord Sterling,” the nurse said in full deferential mode, just like everyone slipped into around Rafe. She smiled at me before sweeping past Rafe to leave the room. I gritted my teeth.
“Oh, this is good,” he said, holding eye contact with me as he stepped into the room. “You’re all packed. That’ll save us some time.”
I blinked at him. “There’s no us, Rafe.” My voice was neutral.
To be honest, I felt completely drained.
I couldn’t take on the unstoppable force that was Rafe Sterling at the best of times, but now, in my physically and emotionally exhausted state, I didn’t stand a chance. “You are not responsible for me.”
His eyes flashed, but he didn’t snap back. Instead, he clenched his jaw and shoved his hands into his pockets, but not before I saw the scrapes and bruising over his knuckles. I dropped my bag and flew over to him without any conscious thought as if it was just an instinct I had to follow.
“What happened to your hands?” I asked, reaching to pull one out from his pocket, then holding it in both of mine. When I turned it over, I gasped at the injuries on the knuckles and down to the wrist.
He shrugged, watching me carefully as I stroked the skin next to the scratches.
“I’m okay, darling,” he said softly, and my eyes flew to his.
Being this close to him again was a total sensory overload.
It cut through the numbness I’d been mired in, taking me completely off guard.
His other hand slowly reached up to my face and so, so gently swept some of my fringe back from my forehead.
The contact was electric and the look on his face was almost savage in its intensity.
Lost in the moment and overwhelmed at having him this close, my body swayed towards him like it was on autopilot. His pupils dilated and he leaned down a fraction, but before my mouth could make contact with his, I dropped his hand and took two rapid steps back.
Frustration crossed Rafe’s expression for a moment, but he clenched his jaw again and reined it in. Somehow, I could tell that his instinct was to not allow me any form of retreat, but he was holding himself back. I remembered my flinch from the day before and I felt my face heat.
This was yet another reason Rafe and I would not work.
I was simply… broken. Like a clock that still ticked but never told the right time.
If I were ever to consider another relationship, it would need to be with a quiet, short guy with very little musculature and an extremely patient disposition.
Not someone like Rafe: someone alpha, ultra-masculine, entirely too tall and too built, with innate arrogance and the kind of terrifying presence that dominated every room no matter who might be there.
I wrapped my arms around my middle and broke eye contact with him to look out of the window.
“H-how did you hurt your hands?” I repeated.
There was a long pause. “I had to deal with something… unpleasant, but that’s over now. Clara, I’ve come to take you home.”
“Back to my flat?”
“No.” He didn’t snap the word at me or shout, but that one syllable rang with absolute authority. “You’re coming back to our home.”
I shook my head. “I’m going back to my flat, Rafe. I––”
“Darling, I’m sorry. I want to give you whatever you need, but I can’t let you go back to your flat.”
“Let me?”
“If you don’t want to be with me anymore, I understand, but you’re not putting yourself in danger while your family and their associates are being prosecuted. It will be too risky for the next few weeks until I can tidy it all away.”
My gaze shot from the window to him and I blinked. “Tidy it all away? You’re tidying all what away?”
He shrugged. “Your family and their bullshit.”
“M-my family? What do you have to do with my family? You hate my family.”
“Well, I don’t hate all your family. Your brother Zach seems like a reasonable chap, and certainly not of the criminal persuasion.”
I stiffened. “When did you meet Zach?”
“Oh, you know. When he came over to shove me and shout at me for being a total arsehole.”
“He what?” My voice was pitched high now as I started to panic. “He-he wouldn’t… Zach wouldn’t do that. He’s gentle and––”
“Yeah, well, the boy does need to work on his attack skills. Being good at science is one thing, but a man’s got to be able to defend himself too.
But there’ll be time for that in due course.
Certainly, he needs feeding up, an endeavour which Martha is likely embarking on as we speak.
He and Ozzie should be home from school now having been collected by Dave before he came here. ”
“Home from school?” I said weakly, still a little dazed. “My brother’s home from school, and he’s at your home? But you don’t even know Zach. How could he possibly––?”
“Oh, Clara, darling, do keep up,” he said softly as he moved to me, gently took my backpack, slung it over his shoulder and then put his hand on my lower back to guide me towards the exit. “I know you’ve been through a lot in the last three days, but I’m afraid I’m going to need you to focus.
“Your brother is staying with me. As are you for the foreseeable future. Your mother has been offered alternative accommodation but would prefer to stay in her own home. Seeing as she now has the run of the place after your father, brother and all their associates were arrested – and as the large majority of your father’s money is in her name, so she does not lack funds – I considered this arrangement acceptable.
“Zachary is a different matter. He is not staying with your mother. I cannot guarantee his safety there, plus it’s not a supportive enough environment.
Zach needs to focus on his upcoming exams. The GCSE board will not make exceptions for the recent turmoil.
He needs a safe, quiet home in which to study, and he needs to be with you so he doesn’t worry.
“Now, we need to get a move on because Poppy unfortunately purchased the large chunk Branston Pickle from Waitrose earlier, and I know that is unacceptable to you. So we need to make a pit stop on the way, and they’ll worry if we’re not home in time for Martha’s lasagne.”
My mind was turning all this new information over and over as I allowed Rafe to steer me out of the room.
We walked down the corridor, past the nurses’ station where Rafe was his normal charming self, and out of the glass double doors at the front where, of course, Dave was waiting for us, completely oblivious to any parking regulations whatsoever.
“Hello, love,” Dave said softly as he held the door open for me, and I slipped into the back, followed by Rafe.
“Er… hey,” I whispered, giving his kind face a half-smile.
“My brother really shoved you and shouted at you?” I asked Rafe once we were settled in the back. I felt the familiar cocoon of the plush bulletproof environment wash over me.
“Yes, as he bloody well should have,” Rafe said, completely casually. “To be honest, I was on the verge of punching myself in the face at that stage, so it wasn’t altogether unwelcome.”
I shook my head slowly. “I’m not sure I understand what’s happening here,” I whispered, looking down at my hands that were twisting in my lap and feeling my eyes sting.
Very slowly, Rafe reached over to me. His large hands covered mine and then gently held them between us so I was turned to face him.
“All you have to understand now is that you’re safe,” he said in a soft but firm tone. “Let that sink in before we try to address anything else. You and your brother have been very brave for a very long time. You both deserve some peace whilst you recover.”
I looked up from our joined hands to his face, and one of my tears spilt over down my cheek. His jaw tightened as he tracked its progress.
“Safe,” I whispered.
“Yes, darling,” he said softly, lifting one of his hands from mine so his fingers could very gently swipe away the tear.
“O-okay.”
Rafe wanted me safe. This I could understand.
He’d found out I was responsible for the downfall of the Masons, and he felt guilty.
Zach and I were obligations now. If I were braver, I would refuse his help – I didn’t want to be an obligation or a burden to Rafe.
But my head was hurting, and I wasn’t that brave, not really.
So that was why I nodded. Why I let Rafe gather me into his arms and hold me close the rest of the car ride home.
If Rafe’s guilt meant that I could breathe in his expensive aftershave and innate Rafe smell, feel his strong arms around me and hear the steady beat of his heart under my ear, then I decided I could live with it.
For now.