12. Rishi
12
Rishi
I was beginning to think I might be a little bit of a coward. I never thought that before. I reasoned that I wasn’t cut out for the stakes that my military career demanded and that’s why I took early retirement. I rationalized that I was simply protecting my peace when I would rather stay in California rather than go back and deal with Daniel. Now I had decided that getting involved with my client was actually a bad idea and it should stop now before we were more attached.
But was that really the case? Cas had apologized. I could see the sincerity in his eyes, and then the question in his face when I had comforted him.
And instead of talking it out with him, I had given him some bullshit excuse about a perimeter check and ran away.
I did do a perimeter check, but given that we were in an apartment building, it didn’t take long. I took my time anyway, thinking about it. Now that the first rush of hurt had passed, I could see that Cas hadn’t meant anything malicious by the question. I knew from prior comments that he felt like he didn’t have much to offer — and I got the feeling it went deeper than his new disability.
I sighed and went back, heading into the kitchen. “Iced coffee?” I asked, getting out the decaf since it was evening.
Cas was on his desktop, somewhat listlessly clicking through some pages that I recognized as a fan fiction site. “Sure, if you’re making it,” he replied but did not turn around.
I made the coffee and then iced it the way I knew he liked. When I brought it out to him, I sat it down on the desk next to him and waited for him to look up. When he did, I swallowed and ducked my head. “I’m sorry for earlier. I forgive you, and I hope you can forgive me for overreacting so harshly.”
Cas outright gaped at me for a minute. “I… what?”
I looked up. “I said I’m sorry too. I overreacted.”
Cas looked like he had no idea what I was talking about, and I was beginning to get a little worried about that. “Cas?”
He shook his head suddenly. “Okay. Okay, yes, I forgive you. What— but what does that mean?”
I frowned, the question he was really asking eventually dawning on me. “It means…” I sighed, remembering the last few weeks and how nice Cas felt. “It means whatever you want it to mean. It means I’m sorry, and I was wrong, and I overreacted, and… and I like you a lot.”
Cas smiled faintly. “I like you too, Rishi.” He nodded once, then glanced around the room. “It’s getting late. Your replacement will be here early, I suppose. I know that Alden Security agents are always at the top of their game.” He smiled again, a tight thing that made my stomach clench, then shut his browser window and wheeled himself into the bedroom.
***
Luis Martinez texted me when he hit the California border. I hadn’t been sure who John was going to send until now. I was pleased with the choice of Luis generally, not that I had any say. All of the Alden agents are well trained. Luis had always struck me as a little quiet, but I didn’t know him that well. Honestly, I’m not sure I would feel great about handing Cas’s safety off to anyone at this point. It was seven a.m., and I was working out after dozing off and on all night. Should I leave as soon as Luis arrived? Where did Cas and I stand? Were we at least parting amicably? I hadn’t seen Cas at all since he had gone to his room the night before, though I had heard him use the bathroom on his own sometime during the night.
I knew I had to ask those questions. Before Luis got here, too, because he didn't deserve to walk into an awkward situation with no clear plan.
I texted Luis back with a confirmation of receipt and did two more planks before I finally admitted that I couldn’t even concentrate on working out.
I dried my face on a towel and walked to Cas's door, knocking smartly once.
There was a beat of silence, just long enough to make me wonder if he was okay or if he was just going to ignore me.
"Come in," Cas called.
I opened the door to Cas sitting up in bed. I stepped into the room, but I didn’t go all the way to his bed. That seemed too forward for our situation. ”Casimir," I said. "I want to talk to you."
Cas looked at me, lips pressed together, and nodded sharply. "You're right. We need to talk. We both did our share of running away yesterday, and that isn't fair to either of us."
"It isn't," I agreed. "I am sorry again for my overreaction yesterday. I understand now where it came from. I had a while to think, and I know what you were saying now. I appreciate your apology, and I want to tell you how deeply sorry I am for reacting the way that I did. I was wrong."
Cas kneaded the blanket on his lap. "I… Thank you. That means a lot. I was sorry as soon as I said it yesterday, and I still am." He nibbled his lip. "I like you, Rishi. Your reaction hurt, but I deserved it."
I began to shake my head, but he held up a hand. "Don't. I did.” He sighed. "Then last night, you tried to talk to me and I didn't let you."
“Turnabout,” I said quietly. I moved closer to where he sat.
Cas huffed. “Not exactly the healthiest way to do things, but you’re right, I suppose.”
I nodded in acknowledgment of his point. “I agree.” I sighed. “My replacement will be here around noon.”
“And then… you’ll go?” Cas asked.
I swallowed. “If you want me to.”
Cas frowned at me. “If I want you to? What happened to ‘we’ll switch out in the morning?’”
I tilted my face toward the ceiling and sighed, working up the courage to speak my truth. “I— No. I do not want to go,” I said, looking at him again. “But after the way I acted, I don’t know if you want me to stay.”
Cas looked up at me, staring hard as though he was trying to peer into my soul, and then, slowly, he held his hand out. “I want you to stay.”
I went to him, taking his hand. “I want to stay,” I said.
He tipped his head and pulled at my hand. “Kiss me…”
I obliged with a light kiss that I deepened slowly when he melted in. “I missed you last night,” he said against my lips, and I hummed softly in agreement.
“I missed you too,” I said. “I’m sorry again about yesterday.”
“I am, too,” I said and let him pull me down onto the bed.
He kissed me hard, rolling his body onto mine as much as he could, slinging his leg over my thighs. I held him to me and let him have free reign of my mouth. The feel of his erection growing against my hip and his mouth on mine had me hard and desperate embarrassingly fast.
“Whatever you want,” Cas forced out breathlessly between kisses after a few minutes of making out like we were dying. “What do you want? Do you want to—”
“Do you want me to fuck you?" I asked.
Cas swallowed and nodded, suddenly looking unsure. "If you want to," he said.
“God, yes, I want to," I said. I ran my hand down his back to his ass to pull him hard against me.
It took me no time at all to retrieve the lube and condoms from the nightstand and settle in to prep Cas. I was planning on doing a very, very thorough job until he couldn’t stand the wait anymore, just because I loved to see him fall apart, but Cas was onto me.
“Give me that,” he demanded as soon as I got the lube out. He had two fingers slicked and stretching himself before I even got the condom packet open. “I know,” he panted at me, “that if I let you do this, it’ll take all morning, and I want you inside me now.”
I grinned down at him as I rolled the condom on. “You’re not wrong,” I admitted, “but I want inside you, too. Just tell me when you’re ready.”
The sight of three fingers disappearing inside his ass while his cock bobbed red and angry against his stomach was testing my patience, too. He was gorgeous and absolutely sure of what he wanted. He pulled his fingers out and gave me a cocky grin. “Get in here, handsome! What are you waiting for?”
I slicked extra lube over the condom and leaned down to kiss him. Then sucked and bit the side of his neck and both nipples and licked a stripe up his cock before settling back on my knees and lining myself up with his hole. He had been a little too in control, and the quick tour down his body and the press of my dick against him wiped the cocky grin right off his face. As I pushed past the bit of resistance he had left, we both lost any semblance of composure.
“Oh god, you feel so good.” I moaned as I paused to let him adjust to me.
“Just. Keep. Going,” Cas answered between pants. “You’re perfect in me, and I want you to move!”
That snapped the last of my control, and Cas got what he wanted. A detached part of me was holding his leg out, making sure I didn’t accidentally hit his still-healing surgery site, but the rest of me was all in. The build-up was fast and brutal. Cas was fucking back into me almost as hard as I was pushing forward, and when I tried to back off and slow down just a little, I got fingernails in my ass cheeks for my trouble.
I reached between us to grab his dick, hoping I could get him to orgasm before me, and apparently that was all he needed. One rough pull, and he was spilling all over my hand. The waves of his orgasm sucked mine from me, and the intensity had the edges of my vision going dark.
I locked my elbows to keep from crushing Cas, but I dropped my head toward his chest while I recovered, and my heart squeezed in my chest when I felt him kiss the top of my head.
***
Luis Martinez arrived shortly after noon, knocking on Cas's door just after he sent me a text announcing his arrival.
I opened the door, and Luis stuck his hand out, shaking mine smartly. “Mr. Rao, sir," he said.
“Luis,” I said. “It’s good to see you. Call me Rishi.” I invited him in and closed the door. “There has been a… development since you were assigned to Mr. Hallie’s case.”
Luis looked at me, then at Cas, who was sporting beard rash and a fairly lurid love bite that I had accidentally left on the side of his neck. His eyebrows went up, but his mouth quirked into a small smile.
Cas huffed an embarrassed laugh. “I’m sorry that you drove all this way, but I really don’t want Rishi to leave,” he said.
Luis looked a little confused. “Have you talked to John?”
“Not yet,” I said. “I wanted to talk to you first.”
Luis made a go on gesture, and I led him to the sofa as I collected my thoughts. “Cas and I were talking, and we decided that perhaps we could ask John if you could work as my partner or relief. The work I am doing for Cas is more involved than most jobs. I’ve been protecting him, but I’m also essentially acting as a live-in nurse.”
Luis’s gaze flicked over to Cas, who was sitting in his chair, dressed in an LAPD T-shirt and sweatpants with the material folded under his injured leg.
“I’ve been happy to do it, but I wouldn’t mind a little R the police are investigating Julio Fernandez, but they have been doing that for a long time and he’s still on the streets.”
Luis looked around the apartment. From the sofa, the door to the kitchen was visible but not much else. The air mattress I had been sleeping on was set up on the floor in the corner, but I was hopeful that I would be back in bed with Cas tonight. “Do you think John would go for that?”
“I don’t know, and I didn’t want to ask until we asked you if you would be amenable to the idea.” I said. “Switching off hours would certainly make the assignment smoother. If you want to stay and be my second for a while, or I could be yours, that would be fantastic.”
Luis nodded. “It sounds like it would work for me, but can I sleep on it? I’ve been awake for twenty-seven hours minus a twenty-minute nap in the Wendy’s parking lot in Cedar City, Utah. If I was needed urgently, I’d be all over it, but if I’m not…”
“Absolutely,” Cas said. “You can take my bed if you’d like, we’re going to be up, and that way you can close the door and not be disturbed.”
I caught Luis eyeing the bite on Cas’s neck again, and Luis’s hesitation hit me. “I’ll go swap the laundry while you’re still awake, Luis,” I said. “That’s one of the things I’ve been doing. He could — and would have — hired help, but I’m already here.” I smiled and saw my message hit loud and clear.
“Yeah, thanks,” Luis said. “I’ll fill up my water and use the bathroom if that’s okay?”
“Of course, follow me,” I heard Cas say as I stepped out of the apartment.