REAL TALK #3
“I don’t know, I don’t think I’ve seen a weekend since middle school,” he points out cruelly, reminding me we’ve lived the same schedule for the same amount of years.
“Thanks, bro,” I sigh out, pulling myself into a sitting position.
“Anytime, Marcus. Fingers crossed for you, bro, and you know, I’m here whenever you need me,” he reminds me, and I smile at the reminder.
“Likewise, my brother,” I tell him before ending the call.
Adecent shower helped me loosen up my muscles and untangle my mess of thoughts.
I’m gonna have to find a way to fix what happened last night.
And maybe help provide some extra support for Qi when they approach Qiang more heavily about getting help.
I think Tristan could use a bit more effort from me, too.
I should have been more present for him, and I’ve been dropping the ball hard where he’s concerned since we moved in.
I’m walking out of what is the first of at least three showers I’ll take today, and arguably my most productive after the amount of unraveling I’ve done, when there’s a light knock on the door. I slip on a pair of shorts real quick and throw the towel around my shoulder before opening the door.
Qiang is standing there with a plateful of sweet-smelling crepes buried under a mound of fresh fruit, their eyes awkwardly fixed resolutely on the door frame.
There are bags under their eyes, and I’d wager they haven’t gotten any more sleep than I have.
They hold the plate out towards me while their cheeks darken.
“Um, I made some crepes and thought maybe you’d like some, you know, before you head out to practice,” they stumble out awkwardly, still resolutely not looking at me.
I lean against the doorframe, trying to get them to make eye contact with me. “So the pie crust really did turn into a crepe,” I comment lightly.
Qiang’s eyes flutter to mine before looking away again.
I don’t think they are awkward because they are still mad, or even because I’m not wearing a shirt, as much as my ego could have used the boost. No, they seem embarrassed, maybe even shamefaced after what happened last night.
Not that they should be. As Darryl said, we both fucked up.
“Um…no, the pie crust ended up in the trash. Pie crusts and crepes are not the same… never mind, it’s not important.
I just wanted to say that I’m sorry, you know, for some of the stuff I said.
I wasn’t mad at you, but I took it out on you.
I just—you’re an important friend to me, and I’m not great at showing that sometimes.
Last night was absolutely awful in every way, and I just. I’m sorry,” they huff out, and I can tell they aren’t great at apologies.
Something we have in common because I’ve never been good at them either.
I tend to rarely ever be wrong to have to deliver them.
(I can practically hear Darryl snorting in my ear at the thought.) At least this time, I know Qiang deserves the same courtesy, especially since if they are anything like me, I know how much pride they had to swallow to do all of this in the first place.
“I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard. You keep telling me to back off, and I keep pushing forward, so it’s on me too,” I breathe out, meeting their eyes and letting them see the sincerity in them.
Qiang nods, ever so slightly. “So, friends, still?”
Part of me is flying because I’m important enough for them to make this kind of effort for; that they think I’m someone they want to keep enough to try.
But another part of me is in my feet because I know a line is being drawn in Qiang’s words.
They are giving me the boundaries they are safe with, and if I’m ever to have a real shot, then I know I need to abide by their very constraining boundaries for the foreseeable future.
I swallow a lump down my throat and nod. “Yes, friends, Qiang.”
“And crepes?” They remind me of the plate in their hands as they nudge it back towards me. “I looked it up before I made them, so they have extra protein and freshly cut blueberries and strawberries with no syrup.”
I look back at the very appetizing plate of sweet smells and fresh fruit. “They look delicious, but you didn’t have–”
“I did. I really, really did,” Qiang rushes out, cutting me off.
“Not just because of what happened, but because after everything that happened last night, I needed to get something right. Anyway, I’m gonna take a nap.
Good luck with your practice,” they say quickly before dropping the plate in my hands and practically racing back to their room.
I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face as their door snicks shut behind them.
Yeah, friends isn’t exactly where I want to be, but it’s better than nothing, and honestly, after last night, the smile on their face this morning is worth it.
Maybe they still have a way to go, but I think once they accept the help they need, it won’t be that hard for them to drive that idiot out of their head.