Chapter 22
CHAPTER 22
“Daddy, no!” she wailed, throwing a hand back to try and protect her burning bottom.
Despite everything he’d said about how this wasn’t a punishment, it certainly felt like one. He hadn’t spanked her this hard since that night with the soap, and even that spanking hadn’t gone on half as long as this! And now he was planning to use her hairbrush on top of it?
Ugh.
“Yes, baby,” he said, his voice gentle and reassuring despite the pain he was inflicting on her poor backside.
His hand moved from her bottom and a moment later something hard tapped against her already scorched bottom, pulling a groan from deep within her chest. “This sucks .”
“I know. Working through those big feelings is hard. But it would be even harder without a Daddy who cares enough to help you, don’t you think?”
As much as it sucked and as much as she did not want to admit it, she knew he had a point. “I guess.”
“Hmm. That sulky tone tells me we’re getting somewhere. Give me your right hand, baby. You can keep holding your bear with your other one if you promise not to reach back. I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.”
“You’re already hurting me,” she grumbled as she gripped the General tight in one hand and offered her other up to her Daddy. “And he has a name.”
“He does?” Daddy almost sounded more excited about her bear having a name than she’d been about getting him. “When did that happen?”
“Today.” God, she sounded like a pouty child. But she wasn’t feeling very Big at the moment, so maybe she was entitled to a bit of a sulk.
“Do I get to know what his name is?” Daddy asked, amusement in his tone.
She was tempted not to tell him just on principle. But that seemed kinda mean, especially since Daddy really did sound like he wanted to know. And while she might be a brat, she didn’t really want to be mean. “General Fluffypants.”
“A very distinguished name for a very distinguished bear. Hold on tight to the General, baby, so you don’t reach back.”
Threading his fingers through hers, he pinned her other hand to the small of her back as she buried her face into the General’s fur. A moment later, pain exploded across her bottom and she arched up, crying out as the burn settled into her flesh.
“Ow, ow, ow, Daddy it’s too much! No more!”
Daddy didn’t even bother to respond. He simply swatted her again. And again. And again. Building the pain in her poor bottom until every inch of it felt hot and swollen and she wondered how she was ever going to sit comfortably again.
Her breath caught in her throat when he moved to her sit-spots. Tears blurred her vision as she kicked and thrashed over his lap.
“D-Daddy, please.” Her cries had turned to desperate whispers. “Please.”
“That’s it, baby. You’re so close. Let it all out for Daddy.” The next round of swats were even harder. “You can trust me, baby. Daddy’s got you.”
And with that, she broke. Shattered, really, into so many pieces she didn’t know how she’d ever manage to put them back together.
Still kicking, still fighting, she burst into tears, her breaths coming in great, big, body-shaking sobs.
“There we go. There’s my good Little girl.”
She was vaguely aware that he wasn’t spanking anymore and that he’d scooped her up into his arms, cradling her like a baby as she wept against his shoulder. But even so, her bottom ached and throbbed and she couldn’t stop crying.
“I don’t w-wanna be b-broken,” she wailed, clinging to him as she cried so hard she wasn’t even sure how she was managing to breathe past the sobs.
“Baby. You aren’t broken. You’re perfect.”
But she wasn’t. Perfect Little girls didn’t lie. Perfect Little girls didn’t constantly forget things.
Perfect Little girls didn’t need medicine just so they could be normal.
The tears were coming far too hard for her to say any of that, so she didn’t bother trying. She simply wept into his shoulder as he held her and rocked her and told her what a good girl she was. Until finally, the tight band around her chest eased, and little by little, her choking sobs faded to soft hiccups and sighs.
“There we go,” Daddy murmured, patting her bottom exactly like one might a fussy baby. “Feel better, little one?”
“Some.” And she did. Her chest no longer felt like there was a giant weight sitting atop it and she could breathe again.
She could also think somewhat clearly, in spite of her head feeling as though someone had stuffed it full of cotton.
“I’m not perfect.”
Daddy’s arms tightened around her and his voice was a low growl when he spoke. “If you keep saying things like that, I’m going to start thinking I didn’t spank you hard enough, little girl.”
“But I’m not! You heard Mrs. Cat. She thinks I need medicine to fix my brain.”
“That’s not exactly what she said. And even if she had said that, it wouldn’t mean you’re not perfect just the way you are.”
Sniffling, she pulled away so she could see his face when she asked her next question. “So if I didn’t want the medicine, you’d still want me?”
And because she was watching him, she saw the truth clear as day in his eyes. “Of course I would, baby. The medicine is for you . To hopefully make things easier for you. Not me. It would make me sad to know you’re struggling more than you need to, but I would still want you. I love you, Eliza.”
“I think that spanking scrambled my brain because it sounded like you just told me you love me.”
“I do love you, silly girl.”
Impossible. “You barely know me.”
“I know everything I need to know. I know how adorable you are when you’re trying to wake up in the mornings. I know that I love the sound of your laugh, and the way your nose scrunches when you’re trying to figure something out. I know you like being Little more than you want to admit. I know how much you care about your friends. I know you’re the most amazing, passionate, loving woman I’ve ever known.” Cupping her face, he brushed his thumb over her cheek, swiping away tears she hadn’t even realized she was shedding again. “And yes, baby, I know I love you. So much it hurts to breathe when I look at you.”
Something inside her trembled, ready to fall. But she needed more. “What about how messy I am? The fact that I’m always forgetting things? That I get mad about stupid stuff and my emotions are always all over the place? That I talk too much and I’m constantly getting myself in trouble? You really expect me to believe you love all of that?”
“Oh, baby. I absolutely love all those things you said.” He grinned, and her breath caught at the wicked glee in his eyes. “Because another thing I love is spanking this adorable bottom of yours. And you give me plenty of reasons to do so.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t take the medicine, then. What if it fixes me and you don’t ever have a reason to spank me again?”
“First of all, the medicine isn’t to fix you. Second of all, I know my Little girl and if there is one thing I am absolutely sure of, it’s that you will always give me reasons to spank you. Even if that reason is just ‘Because I’m your Daddy and I want to’.”
“Oh.”
“Eliza.” Tilting her head back, he leaned in to brush a kiss over her lips. “I love you. And because I love you, I want you to be as happy and healthy as you can possibly be. Which, for right now, means making that appointment with Dr. Williams and seeing what she has to say. And, if she thinks it’s appropriate, at least trying the medication. But I promise you, no matter what you decide down the road, I will always love you. And I will support whatever decisions you make regarding your diagnosis. ”
She had to close her eyes against the flood of relief. “So I don’t have to decide right now?”
“No, baby. You don’t have to make any decisions until we have all the information. And I will be right beside you the whole way.”
Forcing her eyes open again, she met his through the sheen of fresh tears. “I just don’t want you to be disappointed in me again,” she whispered.
Silence stretched between them, and when he spoke again his words were slow. Measured, like he was choosing them carefully. “I was never disappointed in you , baby. Your decisions and your behavior, yes, but never you as a person. Do you understand the difference?”
“Not really.”
“That’s okay. We’ve got the rest of our lives for me to show you the difference.”
She frowned at his words. “That better not have been a marriage proposal, Samuel Eaton.”
“Not just yet.” With a soft chuckle, he brushed her hair back from her face. “But I plan to ask you at some point, Eliza. Because I am very serious about spending the rest of my life with you.”
The panic didn’t come. She waited for it. Expected it, even, because the thought of tying herself to one person, relying on one person for her happiness for the rest of her life should have been downright terrifying.
But it never came. Maybe because she was too damn tired for it. Or maybe because in the short time they’d had together, he’d already proven to her that he was more than willing to take on her stubbornness, her mood swings, her forgetfulness. And not simply tolerate it, like everyone before him had. But to celebrate her, even the parts of her she didn’t like so much or that caused problems.
When he said he loved all the bits of her, good and bad, for the first time in her life, she believed that maybe, just maybe, someone actually could.
“I’ll think about it,” she said, flashing him a cheeky smile. “If you take me to get ice cream like you promised.”
“I did promise. And Daddies always keep their promises.”
Later that night, after the ice cream was eaten and they’d laughed themselves silly at a truly horrendous Nicolas Cage movie, he tucked her into bed beside him. And she turned to him in the dark, seeking him, and the comfort she knew she would find there.
“Daddy?”
“Yes, baby?”
“You said Daddies always keep their promises. Right?”
His hand ran down her hair, giving the comfort she sought. “Always, baby.”
“Will you promise me that if you ever stop loving me, you’ll tell me? I don’t want to have to guess. I’d rather you just be honest with me.” It was, for reasons she couldn’t name, a worry that had plagued her ever since his earlier declaration.
“I’m afraid I can’t promise you that, baby.”
“Why not?”
“Because.” Even in the dark, his lips found hers easily. And now there was heat and need alongside the comfort. “I promise to love you forever, Lizzie baby. You can fight me, you can defy me, you can be as big of a brat as you need to be. And I will love you through it, every step of the way. I will learn every inch of your heart as thoroughly as I plan to know every inch of your beautiful body. Nothing will ever stop me from loving you, Lizzie. I promise.”
She gave herself over to the heat and the need as his hands roamed her skin, learning what made her gasp with pleasure, what made her squirm, and what made her blush with shame even as she begged for more. Just as he’d promised.
By the time she finally fell into an exhausted sleep hours later, she was thoroughly and completely convinced that her Daddy would keep every promise he made to her.