Epilogue
TWENTY-TWO MONTHS LATER
“Why are they not answering?”
I frantically tapped at my phone to call my mom again. Ben grabbed my hand, blocking me from hitting the CALL button for a third time.
“You know why. Your mom already texted that they ran out of time to talk, between pickup and their after-school stuff. We’ll video-chat tonight.”
I huffed in response. This was our first time away from the kids since that fateful trip to Boston, and I was struggling to disconnect. We were back where it all began, twice, for a much-needed romantic long weekend.
The start of our official relationship went smoother than I expected. Eduardo was so ecstatic I was staying at KMG, he didn’t even care about us filling out the Consensual Relationship Agreement. I reminded him as the soon-to-be chief recruitment officer that it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to throw out our corporate policy for my boyfriend, so Ben and I both sat through the obligatory paperwork and meetings before we left for Paris. He still credits Ben with keeping me from moving to Boston, even though I’d already decided not to accept the position before Ben won me back.
Maureen and James were disappointed but understood when I explained my commitment to KMG and my family’s life in Orlando. They told me if I ever reconsidered, they’d be happy to talk about teaching opportunities. Both continued to drop hints when Ben and I came to campus to interview the interns for this past spring, our first family trip, when Ben’s parents came back East to meet me and my girls, but I loved my job at KMG. I couldn’t imagine leaving the work, much less the life I had built in Orlando. Ben loved to joke about us moving our family to Boston and how he would turn me into a fan of the cold. I didn’t think he was serious, but regardless, I was pretty sure Eduardo would kill us both if we left together.
The girls were a bit more difficult to manage. We went our separate ways at the airport when we got back home, promising to talk to our girls the next morning. Sophie screamed at the top of her lungs when I told them, yelling she had always wanted a sister.
Clara glared at her. “You have a sister right here.”
“An even better one, though!”
“No ma’am. Shut it down right now. Clara is your sister, always.”
I could tell Clara wasn’t as happy as Sophie, whether it was about how Sophie reacted or about her dad, I wasn’t sure. Sophie ran off, and I had a minute alone with Clara. I pulled her up next to me on the couch, and she cuddled into my side like she did when she was a toddler.
“How are you doing, sweetie?” I tried to keep my voice low enough so Sophie didn’t hear. It felt right to keep this conversation between the two of us.
She shrugged beside me. “I miss Daddy.”
“Hey, baby girl, I promise you. No matter what happens, Daddy will always be a part of our lives. We’ll share stories about him and keep his pictures up. He was the best dad, and we were so lucky to get him for the time we did. I would never want you to stop loving him or talking about him. I will love and miss him every day for the rest of my life, too.”
She looked up at me with tears glistening in her eyes.
“I love you, Mommy.” Tears fell from my own eyes as I kissed the top of her head.
Paris took the news best of all. Ben said she had cried when he told her. He thought she was upset about Stephanie, but she told him she was crying because she had always wanted a mom like me, and I cried myself when he told me. She and Ben showed up at our house that afternoon with flowers. Paris held a gigantic bouquet of multicolored tulips for me, and Ben had two smaller mixed-flower bouquets, one for each of my girls. They ran off to the girls’ room to discuss our trip, and Ben stepped behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He placed a soft kiss to where my neck met my shoulder, both of us watching our future sprint away in a whirlwind of color and laughter.
Stephanie moved back to New York. About a year ago, she came back to visit, claiming she’d been working through some issues since leaving Orlando and begging for a chance to get to know Paris. Ben had talked in circles for days before we decided, together, that it was most important to teach Paris that it was good to be cautiously hopeful that people can change. She was more of a friend than a mother to Paris, who called her Stephanie instead of Mom, but it helped her overcome some of her fear of abandonment to know her birth mother cared about what was happening in her life. Stephanie and I had established a truce of our own, nowhere close to friends, but no animosity, either.
Six months ago, we had moved into a new house all together. Our combined incomes gave us the flexibility we needed to get a house in our kids’ school district big enough that we weren’t on top of each other. The four bedrooms should have been enough for each girl to have her own, but Paris and Sophie still demanded to stay together.
I treated Paris like she was one of mine, and when she asked if she could call me Momma a few months ago, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. We both cried as I held her in my arms, telling her I was so lucky she chose me to be her mom.
“I’m going to try them one more time.” I pulled my phone out of my purse again.
“We are on vacation. I love you, but if you don’t put your phone away, woman, I’m going to throw it in the middle of Newbury Street.”
I looked at him with raised eyebrows.
“Yep, shouldn’t have called you woman. I knew it was wrong the second it left my lips. Please put your phone away, love of my life.”
“Better.” I pursed my lips to hide my smile. He threw his arm around my shoulders as we continued our way down the street toward the Public Garden. When we got close, he covered my eyes, making me laugh as he tried to navigate me across the street and through the gates.
“Has this all been a big ploy for you to finally off me?” I laughed as we stumbled across a busy street. “The poisoned coffee was unsuccessful, the cold didn’t work, so now you’re going to throw me in front of some cars?”
“Come on, now. That would be so public and messy. I think you can agree I’m smart enough to come up with something more subtle. Agatha Christie would be proud. You’d never see it coming.”
We came to a stop, Ben’s warm whisper in my ear: “Ready?” I nodded.
He removed his hands from my eyes, and I gasped. The park was a flood of color, tulips of every shade stretching through the gardens. The beds closest to us were a mix of colors, cre ating a rainbow effect leading up to the George Washington memorial and bridge. In the distance, I could see beds with one color each, almost as though they were the palette an artist used while painting the others. It was spectacular.
Ben wrapped his arms around my waist, just like he had when we’d stopped here years ago. “See what I meant?” he asked. “Early April in the gardens can’t compete with May.”
“You were right.” It came out on a sigh.
“I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, but that was the moment I knew I loved you. You were standing in front of me like you are now while I described this exact scene. I didn’t know how you felt and was terrified you weren’t going to give us a chance. You relaxed back into me, and I thought my heart was going to explode. It was suddenly so obvious that this was more than a truce to keep the peace, more than an office crush, and I’ve wanted you by my side every day since.”
Butterflies exploded in my stomach, and I marveled at the fact he could make me feel this way, like a teenager with an all-consuming crush, even after all our time together. I reached a hand back toward his neck, but his body pulled away before I could touch him. I turned to see where he was going. Instead, I found him on one knee with a box in his hands.
“I love you so much, Juliana. Will you marry me?”
I crumpled to my knees in front of him, grabbing his face and kissing him deeply as he teetered back. His deep laugh rumbled on my lips.
“Is that a yes?”
Tears ran down my cheeks. My mind so focused on keeping my heart from bursting that it blocked out all other mental functions, so I kissed him again.
“Did I finally shock you into silence? Should have given you a ring when you wouldn’t stop yelling at me.”
I pushed him, and he laughed, his arms wrapped tightly around my back with us both still on our knees.
“You’re the worst,” I said, my broad smile reaching from ear to ear.
“There she is,” he whispered, his gorgeous eyes soft. “Are you going to answer me or leave me in suspense forever?”
“I do love torturing you,” I said.
“Juliana,” he growled.
I pressed my lips to his, whispering the word into his mouth. “Yes.”
“Yes?” he said loudly.
“Yes.” I nodded happily. “There’s no one else I’d rather be scared with.”
He whoop ed and pulled me in for another deep kiss. A chorus of cheers and squeals echoed around us, but it all seemed far away. Nothing in this world existed but this beautiful man in front of me. The man who wanted to share his life with me. The man who stuck with me through all my drama and baggage. The man who loved my kids like they were his own, even on the hardest of days.
“Ew. Gross, Mom,” I heard from behind me, and I jumped around to find all three of our girls standing off to the side with my parents.
Asia and Quinn were with them, each holding up a phone. The one in Quinn’s hand showed a cheering, and very pregnant Gabriela on FaceTime, while Asia’s displayed Dani’s smiling face, half obscured from the sun glinting off the Caribbean waters she was enjoying on her honeymoon with Rosario, who was still Fish Dip Girl in my phone, even after two years of knowing her.
My kids ran over together, throwing their arms around me, and I looked over their heads at Ben, his eyes shining with love. Tears were streaming down my face as I hugged my children. I looked over at my parents, and my mom blew me a kiss.
“This is why we couldn’t video-chat,” she said.
Paris tugged on Ben’s shirt. “Daddy, did she like our ring? We helped him pick it, Momma.”
“Oh my gosh, I didn’t even look at it. Let me see right now!”
Ben laughed and brought over the box with a classic solitaire ring, slipping it gently onto my finger. Perfect. I looked around at my family, both by blood and the ones I chose, wondering how my life became so full again.
I had spent years thinking I was at war with Ben. I was half right. There had been a war, but it was against myself. Against my heartbreak and fear, my determination to keep myself separate from love in a desperate attempt to stay safe.
But every truce forced me to put down my weapons, showed me glimpses of what my life could be if I was willing to lay them down forever. He helped me see that sacrificing happiness for safety wasn’t living at all.
There was plenty more to come. Battles and fears Ben and I couldn’t even conceptualize yet with three kids to raise. But I knew, as he slipped that ring on my finger, that for the rest of our lives, we’d be fighting together.