Chapter 14
LILY
“Igot you, come on,” Hanna said as she skated backwards, a nervous Maya holding her hands in a death grip.
“Wait, you have skated before?” Lily asked, skating easily alongside them. Lily remembered then that Hanna had done some skating in high school–of course the princess had.
“Yeah, it’s not the skating that has me on edge,” Maya said as she looked around at the dozens of other people skating on the lake.
She took a deep breath, and Lily saw her relax her hands in Hanna’s.
Lily took off a glove, reached into her pocket, and pulled out the bag of sour gummies.
She grabbed one and popped it in her mouth, leaned forward and took Maya’s mouth in hers.
Maya took in a sharp breath but didn’t push her away.
Lily slipped her tongue across her lips and when Maya opened for her, she slipped the gummy into her mouth.
She pulled back, popped another in her mouth, and turned to give it to Hanna, but Hanna had already started skating away.
“Whoa Banana! I had one for you, too,” Lily said, turning to catch up. She turned her head towards Maya and said, “Come on.” If Maya had been surprised before, it didn’t show; her face was flushed, her eyes were soft, and they were trained on Hanna.
Of course they were.
Lily caught up to Hanna and pulled her arm to slow her down. “Hey, let Maya catch up, superstar. I forgot you skated in high school.”
Hanna turned towards an approaching Maya, looking slightly guilty. “Yeah well, that was a long time ago.”
“What was?” Maya asked as she finally caught up to them. People skated around them. It’s what was nice about the retreat–Aunt Julia never overbooked it, so there was plenty of space and breathing room.
“Banana here used to figure skate in high school,” Lily said, after Hanna failed to answer.
“Whoa really? Can you show us a thing or two?” Maya asked.
“It was a long time ago, but yeah, I used to skate. I can do a couple of things. I’ll show you once we’ve skated around and I’ve gotten a feel for the ice.”
They began to move again, slow and steady and in sync.
“That makes me feel better then, if you think the ice feels good so far, or safe I mean,” Maya said. She was between Hanna and Lily and grabbed their hands. But the look on her face, Lily noticed, made it clear the hand grabbing was more about safety than affection.
“If you fall in, I’ll jump in and save you,” Lily said, and Maya rolled her eyes.
“Like I saved us from your whatever back there?” Hanna said, and her sarcastic laughter unsettled something in Lily. That had been a bit of a surprise: Sruti and Fe working, in equipment, together. Sruti usually worked in equipment in the main lodging area for sports.
Lily felt Maya’s hand tighten in her grip, as if bracing herself for a fall, even though they were skating just fine.
“Yeah, what was that exactly?” Maya asked.
“Oh I think we know, right Lily?” Hanna emphasized Lily’s name in a way that she did not like. “Just notches in your bedpost?” She shrugged as if it was not a big deal, but Lily could tell it was in fact, a very big deal.
Lily’s mouth dried as she tried to think of the best way to explain.
Maya added, “Oh, well, Sruti was it? The pixie cut? She was alluring, and well, you have that thing for redheads, right Lil?” Maya said. Her voice was calm, but there was still a bite to it.
Were they both annoyed with her?
Before she could stop herself, her defenses were up and her playgirl took over, “I mean, who doesn’t?”
Definitely the wrong thing to say.
“Jesus Lily,” Maya muttered under her breath, but didn’t let go of her hand. Lily decided that it was because she was more afraid of falling flat on her face than holding onto her at the moment.
Definitely annoyed.
This is why she didn’t do attachments, and by attachments, she meant multiple hookups.
Look at how icy Fe—Felicity was treating her.
She couldn’t help who she’d been with before.
She certainly couldn’t help that they’d run into not one but two of her old flings.
And that’s what they had been, flings. Sure, she and Felicity had been a bit more consistent, but it's not like Lily was ever going to U-haul up to Northern Vermont and put a ring on it.
“Doesn’t matter, they both clearly had eyes for you, so tell us Lily, old flings?” Hanna said.
“Not going to lie, it gets lonely up here.” Lily was annoyed now; she didn’t really owe them an explanation.
She had been looking forward to bringing Hanna and Maya up here to spend some time with them somewhere that wouldn’t be too expensive for them.
She had broken her rule because there was something about Maya and Hanna that made her want to give in.
The closest she had ever experienced to this desire was Felicity, and that was a disaster now.
Lily wondered if now the rest of the trip was ruined.
Hanna scoffed.
After a pause, Maya blew out a breath and said, “It's cool, I mean, it’s not like–” Maya took another breath and then something like defeat edged into her voice. “Whatever, let’s just have a good break, ok? I really need a break.”
The last part, that plea from Maya, immediately slammed into Lily’s defenses. Lily could feel them slowly crumbling.
“They’re two old flings from a while back. I just didn't expect to see them here, together, is all,” Lily offered, because that’s all she could really say in this moment. She was desperate for the activity at hand to get back on track somehow.
“Yeah well, it’s cool, we know we aren’t the only ones, and, of course, you have good taste,” Hanna said.
Thinking briefly back to the fact that two past lovers were now working together in close proximity, Lily wondered if they were in there exchanging notes or if they’d already gotten through the entirety of the Lily Miller Experience.
That’s what Lily had overheard it referred to.
It did wonders for her prospects at the retreat.
She didn’t work hard to make them last, but the other women didn’t usually work hard to make it last either.
Not wifey material, let alone girlfriend material—but no one had ever really asked.
Not that she was interested in being tied down; she’d seen what heartbreak had done to her mother.
Diana had been in love with her father, Gavin, and he appeared to be in love with her.
Turned out all those business trips Gavin took for his “top client” were really just him visiting his second family on the other side of the country.
How someone could act and lie so convincingly–that’s what had devastated Lily the most, and then there was her mother’s devastation.
She didn’t speak to her father—aka sperm donor—to this day, nor the family he ran to after the divorce.
He didn’t reach out, ever. It was like she had just been an experience to him, too.
“Earth to Lilith,” Maya’s voice cut through the haze of ugly thoughts.
“Sorry,” Lily muttered, and her eyes landed on Maya’s brown eyes, sturdy and strong. They centered her. “Wait, where’s Hanna?”
Maya turned and pointed to Hanna, who was spinning to the delight of the few children skaters on the ice.
“Show off,” Lily said, but she was smiling.
“She’s fantastic,” Maya said.
“That she is. You think she’d want hot chocolate? I wanna get you both some.” Lily didn’t really wait for Maya’s answer. She needed some space to knock the previous thoughts clear out of her head so she could enjoy her time here in the now with not one, but two hot as fuck women.
Lily skated over to the designated guest area where they had left their stuff.
With the practiced ease of someone in their element, Lily slipped off her skates and put on her boots.
She walked over to the small kiosk whose sole purpose was to provide a place for whoever had booked it to sell their hot chocolate.
Today it was some teens from the local youth center.
There was a small line, and Lily got behind a family of five.
She remembered coming here with her parents before Julia had purchased more land and built the retreat.
“I never grew up with this,” her father had once said, as they spun and laughed on the ice.
“Thank you for being my amazing daughter, my family,” he’d said.
And Lily had believed him. She had no reason not to.
Now, she realized, he had been thanking her for the experience, not for truly being Lily, his daughter.
She was wondering if he was somewhere else skating with his new family, or if he was off experiencing other things when someone cleared their throat behind her.
She turned and as soon as she saw the fiery red curls, she knew who she’d find.
“Hey Fe, I mean Felicity,” she said, meeting the mossy green eyes that used to drive her crazy.
“Fe’s fine,” Felicity said dryly. She wasn’t one for long drawn-out speeches or apologies, so Lily took it as the peace offering that it was. She’d put on her signature beanie and the dark green only drew out the color of her eyes.
“Okay, hey Fe,” Lily started again. “Taking a break?”
“Getting some hot chocolate for me and Sruti.”
“Ah, I see,” Lily said, but she really didn’t, so she looked at Felicity, hoping she’d fill in the blanks.
“Yeah we’ve had some staffing changes, given the growing business. Julia had me shuffle the staff—one being Sruti—to new posts, so I’m training her out here.”
Okay, so Felicity was going to make Lily work out some things on her own. “Wait, you hired someone?”
“Yeah I was promoted to being one of the managers, helping Julia out since I’m around all year and it allows her to step away from the business more.”
Felicity had been working for her aunt since she was in high school and went full time soon after.
That had been six years or so now. The fact that she was a manager had more to do with her having always done the work, and Lily knew her aunt trusted Felicity completely, hence why she wasn’t currently present on the property.
The line moved and they followed a few paces forward.
“I was surprised you didn’t come up for the summer,” Felicity said after a moment.
Lily looked into her green eyes. Felicity was tall, about 5’10, all long lines. Her almost waist-length hair made her seem even taller.
“Yeah well, my mom needed me on the orchard,” Lily lied. Truthfully she had been avoiding Felicity, and Lily had a suspicion that was what Felicity was getting at. The question was if she was going to let Lily get away with it.
Felicity scoffed.
So that’s a ‘no’ then.
“Wow, so the thought of coming up here during the summer was so terrifying that you opted to stay on the orchard with Maggie.”
“Whoa, what does that mean?”
“You hate the orchard during the summer, managing the staff. Unless there’s a newbie who makes you want to stay.”
Lily grimaced. “Fe, I don’t spend my time chasing the staff members of the orchard and the retreat.
Jesus you make me sound so—” Lily couldn’t find the right word.
Yes she liked to play, but she rarely shat where she ate.
Sruti and Felicity had been exceptions and clear examples of why they shouldn’t have been.
“Okay, so what, you’re here with friends? Your new winter snow bunnies?” Felicity said, looking over from the line at the people skating. “Or are you the third wheel? Afraid to come up here alone?”
Lily turned her head to follow Felicity’s line of sight and saw Maya and Hanna skating together—to her discomfort—towards them.
They were arm in arm, and Hanna was helping them along, Maya laughing.
Lily could see the ease in their features, the level of comfort they had with one another. Was she the third wheel?
She made eye contact with Hanna, who gestured to Maya. They started skating towards Lily in earnest. To Lily’s relief, they didn’t remove their skates, but waited for Lily at the edge of the ice. Clearly watching the exchange. She wondered how much they could hear, being only about six feet away.
“Fe,” Lily tried to untangle her voice in her throat. She shot tentative glances at Hanna and Maya and saw that each of their gazes were fixed on the scene before them.
“No I get it, just thought we were beyond avoidance and at least you could talk to me, to my face. Maybe at least a phone call or text message. Apparently not.” She huffed out a breath and added dismissively, “But hey, I get it.”
“No you don’t,” Lily began to protest.
The line moved again and Lily was up next. She ordered three hot chocolates.
Lily handed over some cash and told the teen behind the counter to keep the change. “I just—”
Felicity cut her off. “Sruti is really nice, a pretty cool girl, and she’s, well, you left her on read, too?”
The anger in Felicity’s voice momentarily surprised Lily. Was Felicity mad on Sruti’s behalf?
Interesting.
“I don’t really see how that’s any of your business,” Lily retorted, feeling her defenses building.
At that moment, the teen handed Lily three cups in a cardboard carrier. They looked about sixteen, and their pale face turned red at Lily’s words.
“I gotta go,” Lily said quickly, flustered and truthfully not prepared to have the conversation.
Not that there was much of one to have; they hadn’t been together, even though Felicity was probably the closest she’d had to a relationship in her whole life.
What was more, Hanna and Maya had witnessed everything they probably needed to know about her and romance and for some reason that unnerved her.
“I bet you do,” Lily heard Felicity say as she hurried back towards Maya and Hanna.