Chapter 30
HANNA
Lilith
Ugh, hate that I am so far away from you two.
Hanna Banana
I know, I thought there was a chance our gates would be close.
Papaya Maya
I know, rude.
Lilith
…you know what would make me feel better?
Papaya Maya
Lilith we are at the gate we are NOT sending nudes.
Lilith
Relax Papaya I was not going to ask for nudes
Hanna Banana
Lilith
FINE I was going to ask for nudes…it’s like my thing
I bet both of you are smiling
Papaya Maya
I hate you
Hanna Banana
^What she said
Lilith
SCORE
Hanna Banana
You’re so annoying lmao
Lilith
I’m not…
Papaya Maya
Ugh this is going to be a long semester without you
Lilith
We will get creative *winky face*
Like we have in the past…
Hanna Banana
Can’t wait!
Papaya Maya
Lilith
Were you able to get seats next to each other?
Hanna Banana
Sadly, no
Even with Maya’s scary posh vibes
Papaya Maya
You love it
Hanna Banana
Lilith
Good
Papaya Maya
PETTY!
Lilith
Okay I am boarding, ttyl xox
Papaya Maya
Nice, we are in about ten minutes, smooth travels babe
Hanna Banana
Hanna smiled to herself as she reread the text thread from her seat (not next to Maya), on their way back to Boston.
The trip had gone better than she had expected, and she hummed in satisfaction: she had two girlfriends.
If she wasn’t in public and in close proximity to a stranger, she might actually squeal.
Perhaps the most freeing aspect to Hanna was that she had acted like an ass, or like a brat, as Lily and Maya described her, and that had been ok.
There was a new level of delicious pleasure in confirmation that she was allowed to be everything, pleasant and unpleasant, with her girls.
She knew that a small tantrum when they went out wasn’t a huge deal to some, but it was to Hanna.
She never behaved that way. She had fully given into her emotions, ready for her two girls to say she was too much, to have it all blow up in her face and break whatever they had been building. But it hadn’t.
They were hers, and they liked it.
She had no idea what that meant, and she had no idea how she was going to tell her parents, but she also had the rest of the school year to figure things out, and she wouldn’t be alone in doing so. Maya and Lily would be there for her.
Hanna was also certain that her parents were going to be way more upset at her deferring medical school and being in a nontraditional relationship than the fact that she was bisexual.
Her mother wouldn’t understand how to explain either to her church group.
Hanna cringed inwardly for her mother’s sake; she didn’t want to hurt or disappoint her.
No matter the odd pressure Hanna felt, she knew her parents loved her and had given her everything.
That was part of the problem: they’d given her everything and she couldn’t shake the feeling of owing them, of wanting to be perfect for them.
So they could never regret her.
The fact that Maya and Lily had seen her act out and still felt that she fit with them was everything. It was perhaps, Hanna thought, the little push she needed to understand that to love is to love the whole, not just the part. Emboldened, Hanna turned on some music and popped in her headphones.
As the plane lurched forward, she closed her eyes, smiling, knowing that through all the clouds, the sky above her was blue.