Chapter 34
MAYA
Maya was in love. She was deeply in love.
In love with both Hanna and Lily. She wasn’t sure it was something she had fully admitted to herself, considering she had seen how fleeting the feeling could be as she watched her parents’ marriage implode, but last week when Hanna had said it, it was like the last knot inside of her slackened.
Hanna loved her and Lily, and yes, Maya loved them too.
“Me?" Lily was the first to utter a word after Hanna’s declaration, and she sounded so shocked and vulnerable that whatever wall Maya was scrambling to build crumbled.
“Both of you,” Hanna had said.
“I know, it’s just that—”
Before Lily could finish Maya said, “I love you too. Both of you. Hanna and Lil–Lilith.” Maya kept the tradition of using Lily’s full name when being especially playful or serious.
“I love you, and it scares me because I just saw a love die that I never thought would, but also I know my mom has no regrets, and I don’t want them either.
I love you both and I am so fucking excited for Providence. ”
Lily had swallowed but Maya noticed her eyes were glassy.
“I love you both too,” she’d said, “Maya and our Banana, Hanna, I love you both so fucking much,” and she’d leaned down, and pulled Maya down with her so that their three foreheads touched.
And then they kissed, in that three-way playful move they took a little more seriously these days.
It was what they did to symbolize having worked out something together.
“I hope it's me or Lily or both putting that goofy grin on your face, lady.” Hanna’s voice brought her back down to earth, or more specifically, back to her room where she and Hanna currently were sitting and trying to think of what to do for their girlfriend’s upcoming birthday.
They hadn’t talked about these scenarios in detail, but they hoped because they were meeting to plan for Lily, this wasn’t a moment when they were leaving her out.
Hanna was sitting on Maya’s bed, and Maya was sitting cross-legged on the floor, laptop in her lap open to a page of their brainstormed ideas.
Hanna had worried, but Maya reminded her that one, having a friend over isn’t weird, especially since they’d been working at the orchard together, and two, her mother wouldn’t be home anyway.
She was off doing whatever mysterious thing was keeping her occupied and happy these days.
“Of course,” Maya smiled back at her. She went to kiss her but knew it would make Hanna even more nervous, so she winked instead. Maya thought love did make her a little goofy, but she was into it. “What were you saying?”
“I was just saying, I don’t think Lily has ever had a proper birthday party before.”
“No? Not even when you were in high school?”
“I honestly thought I just wasn’t cool enough to get invited maybe, but when I asked Diana for some ideas last week, she just said she liked to let Lily do her own thing.”
Maya’s stomach sank at that, thinking back to how amazed Lily had been at the fort and their sleepovers. It all continued to make sense, the more she got to know Lily at home. “Okay, but she has friends, right? That Eve girl she talks about sometimes?”
“Yeah, I think Eve is her only real friend though? She was the only person I saw in her grad photos.” Hanna paused and sighed. “I really shouldn’t have stopped us from going, it would have been so cool for us to have shown up for her. It was selfish, I’m selfish.”
“What’s done is done, Banana. Besides, I don’t think Lily needed us there; like you said, she had Eve.
In any case, she has us here and that’s what matters.
One day versus the many we’ll have together, remember that.
” Maya smiled at Hanna. “So what should we do? Should we hire a clown? A stripper? The latter feels more like Lily’s speed. ”
Hanna laughed. “Oh my god, can you imagine?” She grabbed a pillow from the head of Maya’s bed. “You can, can’t you? You’re thinking about it right now, aren’t you?” Hanna threw the pillow at Maya.
“Is that so wrong? We’re young! We can look, fantasize,” Maya said, grinning. “Besides, it’s only hot to me because you both would be there.”
Hanna crossed her arms in feigned indignation. “I can’t believe I am dating you two!”
“What did Lily do?”
“Oh you know she’d agree with you, you both would be sitting there thinking about it!” Hanna was laughing now, and it made Maya’s chest warm.
“You love it, Banana,” Maya said, and Hanna’s face flushed, because she knew she did. Their little brat.
“I do not.”
“You do, you’re thinking about it right now, some hot brunette’s running her hands through Lily’s hair, touching what’s yours. You’re thinking about how you’ll throw a fit and get what you want by the end of the night, aren’t you?” Maya hadn’t meant to go that far, but she was there now.
Hanna’s eyes went dark and soft. “Don’t do this to me in your mother’s house.”
“What would you like me to do in my mother’s house?”
“Maya!”
Maya laughed but let the matter go. She wouldn’t torture Hanna any further.
“Can we focus?” Hanna said in the tone of voice Maya associated with deflection.
“Yeah okay–we could do something fun and kinda retro? Is there a roller rink around here?”
“Oh, I really like that, and then we could do pizza and beer after?”
Maya nodded. It was very tenth-birthday-meets-adulthood. It satiated Maya’s need to give Lily everything she missed. Just when she was about to start looking up the roller rink, Hanna’s phone lit up with a call. Hanna grabbed it.
“You’re on speaker,” Hanna warned.
“Let me in!” Lily’s voice answered back.
“Where are you?” Hanna said, looking slightly panicked, as if Lily could see into Maya’s room where they were conspiring. Maya found it endearing.
“Uh, where our super hot Papaya lives–hurry, it’s hot out here!”
“Wait why—”
“Hanna let me in, or I am going to feel left out here!”
Maya knew Lily wasn’t serious, but an impatient Lily was not to be questioned. Hanna sat up, giving Maya a pointed look, and left the room to retrieve Lily.
Two minutes later, both Lily and Hanna were laying on Maya’s bed. When Hanna had tried to move away, Lily had latched onto her, exclaiming, “Maggie isn’t even home!”
“So this is a pleasant surprise, how’d you know we were at my place?”
“Spies,” Lily deadpanned.
“Seriously,” Hanna tried to wriggle from her arms but gave up.
“Why do you two need some time alone without me? Hmmm?” Lily pretended to look upset.
Since their conversations after spring break, they all had agreed that it was fine for there to be time spent with just two of them at a time; it was unrealistic to think they could do every little thing together, and sometimes they might not want to.
While they were lovers, they were all also friends.
“You’re ridiculous,” Maya laughed, looking up at the two women on her bed. God she was in love with them.
“A little birdie may or may not have told me you guys are trying to plan something for my birthday.” When Hanna went to speak Lily continued, “Don’t deny it, we don’t lie to each other.”
“Okay, so what if we are?” Maya asked.
“Don’t, please, I have everything I want with you two here.”
“Okay but, Lilith come on, we missed your graduation and—” Hanna started again.
“And I had a blast partying with Eve. Who, by the way, insists we video call one of these days, considering she’s in Zurich for the summer.”
“Uh okay, sure, but—” Maya started.
“But nothing, seriously, every day with you two feels like a gift.” There was a very pregnant silence as even Lily seemed taken aback by what she’d said. “And anyway, my mom wants to have a barbecue at the house.”
“Oh?” Hanna said. “She didn’t mention it when I–I mean–”
Lily laughed. “We just decided last night. I told her I didn’t want anything big when she asked on both of your behalfs, not too subtly by the way, and apparently she has something she wants to talk to me and Maya about.”
“What?” Maya asked.
“No idea,” Lily shrugged, “but figured let’s just invite your parents, Banana, and get it over with? I mean if you feel comfortable with that? It might help to do so in a place where there is an escape à la the treehouse and available booze.”
After a long moment Hanna said, “It’s actually kinda perfect. All of our parents will be there, and we won’t be in public. I love it, actually.”
“You sure?” Maya asked.
“Yeah. I mean, it has to happen and it’s your birthday Lily, I can give you this,” Hanna said and smiled.
“You can’t do this for me, Banana. I told you I already have everything I need.”
“I know. I mean that I can give us this, give me this.”
Lily kissed her, and Maya leaned in to plant a quick kiss on each of them.