Chapter 38
LILY
“It’s going to be okay, no matter what, I promise.” Lily was not in the business of handing out promises she couldn’t keep, so it was a word she rarely used. But as she held Hanna close to her on the bed in the treehouse, she meant it. She knew she and Maya had her, that they all had each other.
Lily didn’t think Hanna was fully aware of all she had given Lily—Lily suspected Maya absolutely knew, but it was unreal how attuned she was to people’s feelings—and she wanted to give back to Hanna in this moment.
“We got you,” she cooed as Hanna lay on her chest. She wasn’t sobbing, just crying and sniffling — still, it felt like progress to Lily.
After a moment Hanna said, “It’s strange, because I am relieved, is that weird?”
“No, everything you’re feeling right now is true and makes sense,” Lily said quietly, threading her fingers through Hanna’s hair.
“It honestly wasn’t as bad as I thought. Looks like the way to have a very traditional parent not care about your sexuality is to also reveal you’re dating two people,” Hanna quipped and Lily snorted. “Do you think everything is okay with Maya?” Hanna added.
“I don’t know, I mean, it is taking her a while.
” Lily fought the urge to text Maya. Hanna needed them, but she was starting to suspect that Maya was going to need them too.
Maggie had behaved so oddly at dinner, first the hushed argument with her mom, and then her silence and detachment towards the end.
When Hanna had come out and then they all revealed that they were dating each other, she hadn’t really reacted in any way that made sense to Lily.
It’s like whatever was revealed added to whatever conflict was brewing inside of her.
Her mom also never shared what she’d wanted to talk to her about.
Another tense wave of emotion rolled through Lily.
Here she was at the next chapter of something new and beautiful, and she was wracked by trepidation of what was old.
In any case, she still had two weeks to put some of it to bed.
Right now, Hanna needed her, and if Maya also did when she got back, she would be there for both of them.
Finally, Maya appeared at the door and slipped inside the treehouse. “Hey sorry, I uh, had a really rad conversation with my mom,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
Lily and Hanna were sitting up on the bed, each holding a cider. Lily had one arm around Hanna, and she motioned with her free hand for Maya to come join them.
“Going to need one of those first,” Maya said, taking off her shoes and heading over to the cooler. Lily watched her grab a cider and make her way into the room. She removed her pants and got in the bed with her bottle.
Lily handed her the bottlecap opener she had on the bed, and Maya thanked her.
Searching her face, Lily could see a soft flush across Maya’s brown skin.
Something had happened. Before she could ask though, Maya leaned over her and planted a kiss on Hanna’s forehead.
“You okay? Well, all things considered.”
Hanna gave a watery chuckle. She’d long since stopped crying, but her face was still blotchy and red in areas. “Yeah, actually, I think I am,” she said. Maya let out a breath and Lily felt her body relax a bit.
“Are you okay?” Lily asked, looking over at Maya, who was settling into her side.
“Yeah Papaya, you took a minute, I didn’t even think. Well, how did Maggie take it?” Hanna added.
“Not what I was expecting,” Maya sighed, “I had to re-explain pansexuality to her, and she made it sound as if all of this was her fault somehow.” She shook her head, her curls brushing against Lily’s shoulder.
“Ooof, I am so sorry,” Hanna said.
Lily was surprised, considering Maya said she’d been out since high school, but maybe the whole two girlfriends thing was a hard pill to swallow.
She was grateful her mother didn’t seem to care, not that that was surprising.
By her own admission, Diana’s approach was to let Lily figure it out herself.
It had been something that Lily had resented, but in this moment, she was grateful; she thought it meant her mother had a great deal of trust in her.
“Anyway, we talked and it’s fine, I think? She just said she needs some time to adjust.” Maya took another sip of her cider and sighed.
“Something is going on with our moms I think,” Lily said. “I saw them arguing, and your mom was being so strange at dinner.”
“Yeah totally, I just don’t know what it is, and truthfully I’m not sure I can take it on after the divorce,” Maya replied.
“That’s fair, but yeah, even I noticed in my craze of anxiety that your mom was very quiet at dinner,” Hanna said. “But hey–these next two weeks don’t have to be heavy. Maybe we even go up a little earlier? You said the place is ready, right Lil?”
“Yep, you guys are going to love it.”
“It’s not a sex dungeon or a frat house, is it? I realize perhaps we shouldn’t have left the digs up to you — hey!” Maya let out a laugh and Lily pinched her.
“No, you both are going to love it, have a little faith,” Lily said with feigned indignation.
“I can see it now, a tap in the kitchen and a heart-shaped be—”
Lily cut Hanna off with a pinch right over the ticklish spot on her side. Hanna erupted immediately in laughter and seeing a smile finally back on her face warmed Lily.
“You both suck,” Lily said, laughing.
“But seriously, thank you for taking care of that, I just was so bogged down with school stuff,” Maya said, and Lily could see her smiling at the fact that Hanna was smiling too.
“Yeah thank you,” Hanna said as she came down from her fit of giggles. “I had a bunch of certifications and stuff to prep for before work.”
“No problem, I told y’all I’m your sugar momma,” Lily joked. And it really was a joke to her. She had money for doing nothing but simply being born into her family, and if she could lean on that and the free time it gave her to take care of her girlfriends, she would do it.
“Stop, we are going to pay our way,” Hanna said, and Maya agreed.
“We’ll see, you both are just getting started, let’s not deal with money right now. Everyone just does what they can when they can.”
Lily knew they weren’t done with the conversation, but she wanted to be done with it for now considering the evening they’d just had. Her girlfriends seemed to agree because they dropped it.
“God I’m exhausted, and it isn’t even late,” Maya said, taking another sip.
“Snuggle party?” Hanna asked.
“Fuck, yes,” Lily said, something she never imagined she would be enthusiastically agreeing to.
A comfortable silence fell between them as they each undressed.
No one asked, but they all got completely naked, like the thin layer of clothes would be too much space between them right now.
After Lily turned off the lights, save a tiny portable lamp that was really just a lantern full of solar-powered fairy lights, they climbed back into the bed, Hanna on one side of Lily and Maya on the other.
The subtle glow allowed Lily to see her two girls, her lovers.
She couldn’t help smiling at the romantic intimacy between all of them.
A love that was theirs. Lily held them and kissed the top of Hanna’s head and then Maya’s temple.
They were a tangle of limbs as they touched, soothing each other with occasional kisses.
“I love you,” Hanna said.
“I love you too,” Maya said.
“I love you three,” Lily said and they all laughed at her bad joke. “There has to be a way to just say it. We all know we mean all of us, right?” Lily asked.
“Yes, yes,” Maya said, and they each said, “I love you.”
And while the summer was coming to a close, Lily thought the love they had declared during it was endless.