Chapter 51 - Jessi
JESSI
When I drag myself downstairs, I see Jack attempting to make breakfast. The counters are covered in open packages and dirty dishes. Smoke lifts from the pan on the range, and Jack struggles to scrape charred bacon off it with a wooden spoon.
I stare for several moments, touched and freaked out by the mess, then step in. “Let me take care of this, big guy.”
He hands over the spoon, and I put it down then dig through the drawers for a spatula.
“Thank you,” he says with a laugh. “I failed horribly at my goal. I wanted to thank you for bandaging me up last night.”
From the corner of my eye, I study Jack.
He’s so . . . hard to pin down. One minute he’s ordering ice cream and giving money to those in need, and the next he’s taking a beating by my stepbrother for destroying David.
I knew from the start there was a part of him that he hid, and I’m glad he lets me see it.
But I’d love if his violent streak could settle down.
He seems so much happier when he’s not brooding or running the risk of being carted off to jail.
I start a fresh pan of bacon. “Please don’t thank me. It was the least I could do. Besides, it wasn’t so bad since you had your shirt off the whole time.” I wink.
My phone chimes with a text. Jack glances down, gets up, and retreats to the other side of the kitchen. There you go brooding again, I think.
I grab my phone. Great.
Kade
I wanted to make sure everything is OK. You didn’t answer me. I hope you aren’t angry with me. Jack seemed upset.
Me
I’m fine. I’m sorry about the crazy night. I’m not mad at you. It’s all good.
Kade
Good. What about that second date? Want to go for a ride, just you and me?
Me
Sure, let me check my work schedule and get back to you.
Kade
Cool TTYL
“You’re going to see him?” Jack keeps his back to me as he starts to clean the burned dishes.
“He asked me on another date, and I agreed because he was a gentleman, and I did have a good time with him. However, that doesn’t mean we’re ‘seeing’ each other.”
Jack turns around. “In my book, that’s exactly what it means, Jessi. Tell him it’s over.”
“Why? You’re too scared of what people will think of our age difference. I’ll not sit around and be your dirty little secret. You want me when it’s convenient for you!”
He prowls toward me and I back up until I hit the wall and he cages me in with his arms.
“Why? I’ve tried to not want you. I wanted you to have a chance to date around, fuck around.
I wanted to allow you the experience, so I stayed back.
I didn’t want you to regret this time while you were vulnerable thinking I took advantage of you.
I didn’t want you to have a life filled with shit like last night. You deserve better than all this.”
“I’m sick of hearing your excuses that it’s because of me!”
His fingers curl around my throat and stroke the sides of my neck.
“Let me talk, Jessi. I knew that once I had you, that would be it. I knew that once I kissed your sexy mouth and had a taste of you, I would need you to be mine. So, I wanted to give you an opportunity to explore other people. But what I have come to realize is that I don’t want to share.
” He swivels my chin toward him so I have no choice but to meet his gaze.
“Decide now. Do you want to screw around with boys? If you do, keep your second date, and this is done. I can’t be half in with you and watch you with other men.
Choose now. Tell him it’s over and you’re mine.
Or we go back to how it was. You’ll always be welcome to stay here.
I can go back to Natasha, and you can be with some kid rather than a man. ”
He leans his head against mine, sending chills up my arms with every breath. “Tell me you want to date around and I’ll back away,” he says. “Tell me to leave you alone and I will. Tell me you don’t want to work at the club anymore and I—”
“Jack . . .”
“Jessi, the club is part of who I am. It’s my family.
I will never leave it, but you can. Tell me you can’t be all in with me and you’ll be able to escape.
That’s what is best for you; you deserve a life free of me, but I can’t stay away unless you tell me to.
You have infiltrated me to my core, and I can’t say no. You have to for me.”
I grab his shirt and draw him closer. “Jack, I’m yours.
I know what I’m signing up for, and I’m all in.
It scares me, but the thought of losing you scares me more.
Please stop fighting us. My heart aches to know that I’m yours and you’re mine, but we aren’t acting on it.
I crave to be with you. To have you inside me.
To belong to you. I don’t know what it feels like to be in love, but my body knows it needs you. ”
His breathing goes ragged. “Fuck, that’s the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me. I crave you too.”
I run my hands up his chest, getting wetter the more I touch him. He grabs me and holds my hands above my head. But when I look at him again, David’s face sneers back at me. “Stop,” I tell him.
“What are you doing to me?” Jack whispers.
“No, stop. Holding me like that. Please.”
He gets the message and drops his hands. Rolls off me. The heat of him lingers after he’s gone.
“If you mean what you say, end it with Kade.”
My heart squeezes, wondering if Jack will finally have his way with me. But I’m not sure I’m ready, despite all my talking. A voice inside me says, Wait.
To delay, I grab my phone and fire off a text.
Me
Can you meet me at the club?
Kade
Sure, want me to pick you up?
Me
No, that’s ok. I’ll meet you. 1pm work?
Kade
Sure. See you then
I show Jack my phone. “Let’s eat and then head to the club. I want to tell Kade in person. He is a good guy. That’s the least I can do.”
“If you say so,” Jack grumbles, but he doesn’t push back.