2. Easton
Chapter 2
Easton
‘She’s doing well.’
That’s what the doctor said. One simple sentence. My brother’s heart is beating strongly in her chest and there’s no sign of her body rejecting it… yet.
I swallow hard and open the car door for Taylor. We haven’t said a word to each other and it’s really starting to get to me.
When the doctor told her everything looked good and the donor heart was doing well, she broke down and sobbed. I can only imagine how hard it is to know you have a second chance at life because your boyfriend lost his future, but she needs to keep going. She needs to keep fighting and get to a better place mentally.
I need her to.
“Hey,” I stop Taylor before she can get in the car and pull her into my arms. “You can talk to me, Tay. We’re friends and always have been. ”
“There’s nothing to say. I just want to go home and curl up in bed.”
I hold her for a few seconds longer, then I step back and motion for her to get into the car. I run a rough hand through my hair and try to figure out what to do. Jack wouldn’t want her to be living this empty life. He’d want her to be happy. To smile and laugh as much as she did when he was alive. He’d want her to keep living.
Taylor doesn’t leave her apartment unless she has a doctor’s appointment. She barely interacts with anyone and owning her own web design business only makes that easier for her. She doesn’t even need to get out of bed to work.
As far as I know, she’s still working and keeping up with her clients’ requests, but she doesn’t talk about work. She never really has. She says web design is boring and there’s nothing to discuss about it.
We pull out of the parking lot and turn onto the highway. The silence is suffocating, making me wish she’d yell at me again. Anything to get some sort of reaction out of her.
I wish I could come up with some profound thing to say to her. Something that could pull her out of this deep depression, but I’ve got nothing. Honestly, if I weren’t so worried about her, I’d probably be stuck in my own deep depression. I’d be struggling to find my own will to continue .
It’s funny how I don’t struggle to keep moving forward because I need to get her to keep going. I don’t have time to be depressed because I focus on helping her get better.
“Do you want to stop and get something for lunch?” I ask with a lot more pep in my tone than I feel.
“I’m not hungry,” Taylor says softly.
“Tay, you need to eat.”
“I do. I had an apple last night.”
“What else did you eat yesterday?”
“I had a yogurt for breakfast.” She lifts her shoulder in a halfhearted shrug.
I pull the car over to the shoulder and throw it into park. I'm so angry right now and I know it’s about to come exploding out of me. The last thing I should be doing is driving right now.
Flinging off my seatbelt, I turn to face the woman who’s always meant so much to me. The one I know I’ll love forever. But none of that matters. I’m just a reminder of her dead boyfriend now. I’ll never be anything more to her.
“That’s complete crap! You know you need to be eating a balanced diet! You need to take care of yourself!”
“What’s the point? He’s gone!” She shrieks, breaking into sobs immediately.
“But I'm not! I’m right here, Taylor.” I slam my hand against my chest as anger pumps through my body. “I need you here with me. I feel like I can't breathe most days, but when you’re around, I can get just enough air to survive. I need you to fight, Tay. I need… I just need you. Ok?”
Her brows crinkle together until they form a deep V. She stares at me like she’s not sure what’s going on.
She doesn’t get it.
She doesn’t know.
I fell in love with Taylor when I was twelve and she was eleven. By that point, she was constantly over my house. Her and Jack were practically inseparable. They did everything together. Even then, I think she spent more than half of her waking hours at my house or with my brother.
Because I was the older brother, I was always tasked to stay with Jack and make sure he didn’t get into trouble. Everyone knew if you left Jack and Taylor together with no supervision, trouble would definitely ensue.
It was never anything big, at least not in the beginning, but they’d go looking for lizards and put them in someone’s purse when they weren’t paying attention. Or they’d go into the river and try to catch fish with their bare hands. By the time they got out of the water, they’d be covered head to toe in mud and their teeth would be chattering because it was November.
They always had these wild and free spirits. They wanted to do whatever came to mind and they didn’t care about the consequences. That’s where I came in. I let them do what they wanted, until I knew it would be too dangerous or they’d get in trouble. Then, I’d carefully reel them back in just enough, but not too much. I didn’t want to ruin their fun. Honestly, I wanted to experience their fun with them.
They pushed me out of my comfort zone. They made me feel alive and like the pressure of the world wasn’t pushing in around me. They helped me breathe.
And along the way, I fell in love with my brother’s girlfriend. Granted I fell for her long before we knew what love was. Long before Jack expressed any sort of interest in her and long before they decided to date each other. But through all of it, I kept my mouth shut and let things progress between them. I didn’t want to risk rocking the boat and mess up this friendship we had. We were like the three musketeers. We were always together and I couldn’t stand the idea of losing that.
“Please, Tay. Don’t stop living,” I whisper as I take her hand in mine and gently run my thumb back and forth across her skin.
She squeezes her eyes shut and nods her head. I know she’s tired and I know she’s had a rough recovery, but I need her to keep going.
“Can we go home and then just order food? I don’t really want to be in public.”
“Yeah, we can do that.” I lift her hand and press a soft kiss to her knuckles, then I pull back onto the road and head straight for her apartment .
I’d love nothing more than to take her to my house, but I know she won't go there. Jack and I lived together and it would be too hard for her.
Plus, someone needs to clean up her place and apparently, it’s going to be me.