CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Levi
It’s been two months since I landed in Montana and found my family, and today is the day that we are all leaving to head back to Los Angeles.
Dr. Blake has been in LA for a while and came back a few days ago.
I haven’t needed to have a session, but I’m making time for one today.
Saylor thought it was crazy that I wanted to have Dr. Blake up here the entire time.
She said that if I needed a shrink that bad then I was in far worse shape than she thought, or I still wasn’t taking her advice.
Either way, I needed to sort my shit out and start trusting in my judgement again, and the advice.
With those words swirling around my head, I sent Dr. Blake home the next day.
“Mr. Thorne, tell me about how you’re feeling today,” she begins and starts jotting down words in her notebook.
“Happy, no thrilled but also nervous,” I answer as I lay on the sofa, with my hands behind my head in her hotel room.
I never felt that I could be relaxed speaking with Dr. Jordan in his office, because I was afraid he’d run and tell my brother about all my issues.
But ever since I started seeing Dr. Blake, I’ve become one that lounges out on a couch and spills the beans.
“Why nervous? I thought one of your goals was to have your family back in Los Angeles fulltime.”
“What if I screw this up again? But this time I really do lose her. We’ve grown closer, and not just as a family, but as a couple. What if we change when we get back to LA? What if she remembers the hurt being too much and decides to change her mind?”
“What has brought the two of you close these past two months?”
“Obviously our shared love for our daughter, but it’s also the alone time we spend together when Halo’s napping. Things are almost back to normal.”
“You say almost? What does that mean?”
I roll my eyes this time and sigh.
“We have become friends this time around, instead of jumping the gun and cannonballing in the deep end, like last time.” I pause and think back over the past two months.
“We haven’t been intimate since that first night and surprisingly, I’m okay with that.
I don’t want to rush her or make her feel like that’s all I want from her. We just…talk.”
“It’s good to have a solid foundation starting out in a relationship. I’m glad you two are taking baby steps. The most devastating thing would be to jump in and then it not work out in the end. Halo would be the one who suffers.”
We both sit in silence for a few minutes as I reflect on what she’s saying, and both Saylor and I have already agreed that this was the only way for us to be able to move forward.
Although, she didn’t make the decision lightly.
She didn’t think we should even try to be a couple at first, and just work on my relationship with Halo.
I quickly told her that there was no way that I would accept a world that she and I didn’t belong to each other.
So, we decided to start out as friends and maybe work towards dating, and then more.
It’s more than I imagined at this point, but I’ll take whatever I can get at this moment.
Saylor has had a lot of chairs taken away from her, just when she thought she was comfortable, and she needed time for us to rebuild that trust.
“Saylor and Mom are on better terms.”
“That’s good. Was it forced?”
“No, I think the more Mom and Saylor hang out, the more Saylor sees that Mom is nothing like Daniel, or excuses his behavior. It would make our relationship hard if she were to put Mom in the same category as that horrible man.”
“Saylor is going to still have some trust issues with your family because of what she went through over two years ago.”
“I know. Right now, it’s important for Saylor, Halo and I to get reacquainted and build back the trust and relationship.
We are looking to renovate one of our rental properties that I’ve acquired to make our family home.
Both Saylor and I want Halo to grow up with some outdoor space and not an apartment.
We know that it’s going to be a little more challenging once we are back in the city and under a microscope. ”
“I agree. Once others start to come in the picture, then things tend to get a little more complicated. But as long as you and Saylor have a stable foundation, then it will be easier on both sides. Just remember that Saylor went through something horrible while you were in a coma. That is always going to stick in the back of her mind when she sees your family face to face, then remembering how they were so easily convinced to jump on the Daniel bandwagon. I’m sure it will take some time for her to adjust and trust them again. ”
I nod in agreeance. Both Saylor and I wanted it to be just the three of us for a while even though Mom, Grandma and Grandpa are staying here also.
Halo seems to be adjusting well, living at Glammy and Granddad’s place.
I’ve been living with my grandparents so that we are able to get as much time together as possible, and I couldn’t be happier about that.
Even though Grandma and Grandpa love Daniel, because he’s their last living child, they know his actions played a massive role in this, and have made sure to make this a safe place for Mom and my family.
“Should I bring up the elephant in the room? Or are we not going to discuss Brody?” She urges.
“Ugh! Why do we even need to waste our breath on the loser,” I mumble and rake my fingers through my short hair. Saylor decided I needed a haircut a few days ago. When I looked in the mirror, I thought she had scalped me.
“I think that is something we need to discuss and see how your progress in taming your temper has been.”
There are some days I really miss Dr. Jordan and after her bringing up Brody fucking Jackson, this is one of those days. She knew when to move on from a subject. Dr. Blake is like a dog on a bone and beats a dead horse until I’ve overcome it.
“Well, I haven’t seen the guy but once when he showed up to Halo’s birthday party, the day after you left to go back home to LA.”
“And what happened at the birthday party?”
“I was on my best behavior,” I quickly say. “I’d never want my daughter to see that side of me.”
“That’s wonderful, Mr. Thorne. I’m sure Saylor and Halo are both happy that they didn’t see that side of you.” If she only knew how Mitch and Ryan almost had to tie my hands to my sides she wouldn’t be praising me. “And the other time that you saw Brody?”
“We beat the shit out of each other.” I shrug.
“What!” she shrieks, and the notebook falls out of her lap.
“He was waiting outside my hotel a few days after Halo’s party and things got a little heated.” I shrug again, not wanting to relive it.
Brody thought he was going to intimidate me and make it known that he wasn’t going to let Saylor go without a fight.
He came looking for one hell of a fight and I delivered.
Both Ryan and Mitch finally broke it up after both of us had some nasty cuts, busted lips and bruises across our bodies.
My body may have been put through the wringer these past few years, but I worked him over and not once did I falter.
I swear, and so does Ryan that I won and kicked his ass and it felt amazing, but facing Saylor the next day with my face swollen didn’t make me feel like a winner.
Halo kept touching my face and saying ‘booboo’.
Her and teddy bear were my nurse over those few days, and as much as I loved that, I know that it disappointed Saylor that I’d sunk that low.
A week later, Saylor and I finally spoke and she understood how that interaction needed to happen after everything Brody stole from me.
She didn’t like that it came to blows, and made it very clear that better have been the only time it happens.
Saylor and Brody haven’t had much contact since she moved in with Glammy and Granddad.
She felt she needed time to recoup, and even shut me out for a week before we could even sit down in the same room.
I know she thought of Brody as a close friend, and nothing more, which doesn’t make the manipulation any easier.
It hurt to know that they’d had sex but I know that this is a sticky situation and we can’t take back what happened in the past. I do blame myself for everything that happened and take full responsibility, but Saylor says I’m only responsible for keeping the threat against her and Halo a secret, plus the restaurant fight.
The others were a string of unfortunate events that just happened to occur back-to-back.
She really is amazing, and I try every day to show her with my actions instead of just words.
We can only move forward and learn from our mistakes.
She gave his rings back and I was beyond overjoyed that day, but also hurt when she wouldn’t accept her original wedding bands back.
She said she still needed some time before she wanted to put them on, if ever.
She knew how much I hated her not having something on her finger, so Grandma gave me a simple gold band that Grandpa gave her as a promise ring when they first started to date.
I swear it’s like they can read my mind.
She loved the idea of a promise ring and also that it came from Grandma.
I know she looks to them for advice on everything and I love it.
They’ve lived through a lot and had some difficult times in their long and loving marriage, and I can only hope Saylor and I have the same love as those two have for each other.