CHAPTER SEVENTEEN #2
Grandma and Grandpa have been my champions with Saylor, since I’ve told them all the dirty details about what really happened.
I know I still have a long way to go to win her over completely, but they have encouraged every step.
They’ve also thought it was great that Saylor distanced herself from Brody.
She really needed some alone time, so I’d take Halo for a few hours during the day to give her a break.
My grandparents and I have sat down with Dr. Blake and had a long session about their role in keeping Saylor hidden.
I understood where they were coming from because as far as they knew I wasn’t looking for Saylor and Halo, living the single life.
If anything, I respect that they stayed by Saylor’s side and helped her when she didn’t have any other family to turn to.
I promised to be more involved in their lives and that secrets have no place in families.
We love each other unconditionally, but we also need to let others in to help when someone is going through a terrible time in their lives.
“And now what?” Dr. Blake asks astonished, bringing me out of my thoughts.
“Well, I think he got the picture.”
“Mr. Thorne, I think we can both agree that violence is not always the answer. What happened to channeling that anger into something productive?” she asks.
“I wasn’t angry, I just put him in his place, then walked away and didn’t think about him again,” I defend, but she doesn’t seem to believe me.
“Honestly, I feel better that I got it out of my system and now I’m done.
If it wasn’t then, I’d seek him out every chance I got to have another round since this is a small town.
Plus, I couldn’t let Saylor be the only one to get a swing in. ”
Ryan told me about Saylor punching the shit out of Brody when he told her he withheld the photos that were to be sent to me. I couldn’t have been prouder, but then I was a mess worrying about her hurting herself.
She swiftly writes something down in the notebook, then turns back to me.
“Now tell me about the move back to Los Angeles? Living arrangements and so forth.”
This is where it gets a little tricky.
“Well, Saylor and Halo are going to be staying at Sharilyn and Alan’s house until we can finish the renovations on the new place for all the family to live in.”
Saylor didn’t want to live in the penthouse when I offered to stay in a different location.
She thought it wasn’t a good idea to have Halo in an apartment when she has been running wild and free out in the country.
Her grandparent’s house is in a gated community and has a large backyard where she can run all that energy out.
Saylor also thought it wasn’t the right time for us to move in together yet.
I hate that I won’t be under the same roof as my girls, but I understand, and will give her the time she needs.
“How do you feel about that? It can’t be easy knowing they won’t be living with you.”
“It fucking sucks. I hate that I can’t just move them back in with me, but I understand we are not there yet . We’ve come a long way but I’ve waited this long, so a little longer isn’t going to kill me.”
We talk some more and I tell her that Saylor hasn’t heard from her dad yet. When Saylor asked Sharilyn and Alan about why her dad never stayed in close contact with her or them, they had a shocking answer that blew both of our minds.
“I think it’s time we finally told you about Amanda,” Sharilyn and Alan both told us after we put Halo down for her afternoon nap. We’d just cleaned up the living room of all of her toys, when they asked us to have a seat.
“Who’s Amanda?” Saylor asked, and from the sad looks Glammy and Granddad gave each other, I knew this was going to be a hard discussion.
“Amanda was your dad’s twin sister,” Alan said, clearing his throat.
“How come I’ve never heard about her until now?” Saylor asked.
Sharilyn gave a heavy sigh and pulled out a small worn photo and showed us. It was a picture of a young Adam, seated beside a girl who looked almost identical to him. Saylor was almost the spitting image of her aunt.
“Amanda was killed when she was right out of high school. She had started dating this college boy behind our backs, right after Adam had enlisted into the military. She’d told us that she was meeting up with her girlfriends, but apparently it was this crazy guy who came from money.
For months, they met and had a relationship.
When she tried to break things off, he didn’t take it too well and killed her. ”
Saylor gasps and I pull her into my side for support, as Alan clutches Sharilyn’s hand for comfort.
“That’s horrible, Glammy. I’m so sorry,” she says tearfully.
“We were devastated, and when we told Adam that his twin had been killed, something broke in him. He was never the same toward us. He kept his distance, and threw himself into missions and anything that would keep him away. Adam blamed us for not keeping a closer eye on his sister, and said that we were partially to blame.”
“He was just upset. Surely you know that the only person responsible is the man that killed her, right?” Saylor argues.
“We know that now but at the time all we could focus on was how we didn’t do more.
He went into these fits of rage and destruction, leveling everything in his path.
” Alan speaks up. “Years went by without a word from Adam. We’d send weekly letters that went unanswered, until one day he came home.
He had a beautiful wife and little girl in tow,” he smiles like he is remembering that day so fondly.
“You were the perfect little angel and your mother was the sweetest woman. Over the next few years, things started to seem like Adam had come around and wasn’t so angry with us anymore, and was truly happy in his career and life.
And then your mother passed away. It was like Amanda had died all over again for your father.
He became a shell of the person he was again.
He stopped coming home to you, and left you with us for weeks without any contact.
He took on more assignments and eventually signed over guardianship of you to us. ”
“Adam thought in his mind that everything that he had, and he touched and loved died, so keeping his distance from you was his way of making sure you lived.” Glammy told me.
“How do you feel about seeing Adam again, after he attacked you in the hospital once you woke from the coma?”
“I’m not sure. I’m more concerned about how seeing Adam will affect Saylor, now that we know more about him abandoning her for such long periods of time.
As long as he is cordial with me and doesn’t do anything to upset my wife and little girl, then I’m open to a talk or have some level of a relationship. ”
“That’s very noble of you, but I think you should really have a conversation with Saylor about her father. And I don’t mean skip over one, but have a true and in depth talk about how Adam treated you at the hospital.” Yeah, I’m not ready for that yet. “How about a discussion regarding Daniel?”
My eyebrows shoot up to my hairline.
“Why would we need to discuss that asshole?”
“Surely if you are going to tolerate her father, she should return the favor for yours.”
“Have you lost your mind? I don’t even tolerate my fath—Daniel.”
“I understand but if you’re going to try and make amends with Adam, then it’s only fair that she makes an effort to reconcile with yours, right?”
“No way! I don’t want her or my daughter anywhere near that guy. He did the most unthinkable thing a person could do, and I could’ve lost them both because of him. No, I don’t think she should have to endure it. End of conversation, Doc.”
“Okay, fine. We’ll let it go, for now, but I do want you to have a conversation with her about Adam at some point.”
“Maybe we can do a joint session and you can tell her.” I cringe, thinking about having to speak to Saylor about her father. No one wants to hear what an asshole their father is. Trust me, I should know.
“I don’t mind and welcome the suggestion.
” She pauses for a moment. “I have been instructed to tell you that Saylor and I have had a few sessions, but that is as far as I’m willing to speak on the matter.
Saylor said that it was okay to mention it, and I wanted you to know that she is seeking counsel for what has happened over the past two years. ”
“Thank god!” I reflect for a bit, trying to gather what this could mean. “Does she hate me? Is she interested in staying married to me?” I pry. What if she gets back to Los Angeles and files for divorce after we land?
“Mr. Thorne, you know that I can’t divulge my sessions with other clients unless they give permission to me in writing. What I can say is that what you and Saylor share is something special, and if she didn’t want to make that leap with you again then she wouldn’t.”
That is the best news I’ve heard in a while and can’t stop the smile from breaking across my face.
“Patience, Mr. Thorne. Remember, this needs to go at her pace,” Dr. Blake reprimands me. “She is still processing everything, and wants to make sure that this is the right move for her and Halo.”
Of course, she is. Saylor doesn’t do anything half assed. Especially when it comes to our baby. I just want her to need me as much as I need her.
“I see your wheels turning. What are you questioning in your head?”
“I just…Saylor is like my next breath. I wake up for her and every choice I make I have her and Halo’s best interest at heart.
Sometimes I feel like she’s not…like she doesn’t need me as much as I need her.
I guess I’m scared that she can walk away easier, if she doesn’t have that same need as I do. ”