CHAPTER SEVENTEEN #3
“Mr. Thorne, you still deal with a lot of insecurities about your relationship with Saylor, but from what I can see, it goes both ways,” she says, shocking me.
Did Saylor say that or is this just Dr. Blake trying to soothe me?
“From what I’ve learned about you and Saylor’s time apart, she waited over two years before she even tried to move on.
Even then, she didn’t want to but thought she had to and was just settling.
Does that sound like someone who just throws away someone or doesn’t need them as much as you do? ”
She’s right. Saylor and I have talked about her dating Brody.
She felt like it was the only way for her to try and get over the heartache.
But she never really thought of Brody like that but she was stuck because she was ‘married’ to him and it might blow the cover if she did anything different.
I hate that she thought she didn’t have any other options and I kick myself every day because of it.
This was my mistake and one that I’ll never make again.
“I think there is something wrong with my body. I’m a total mess, ever since I came here.” I swear my body might not be able to endure country living much longer.
“What do you mean?”
“I cry. A lot,” I admit. Five years ago, I would’ve happily checked myself into a facility if I even thought of ever admitting this but now, I can freely say it and not worry.
“It’s called emotions, Mr. Thorne. Tell me, what brings it on?”
“Saylor. I blame Saylor for this.” I start.
“Just the other day I was over at Glammy’s house around naptime, when Halo snuck out of her crib and found me sitting on the couch, reading over some potential houses that would make great rentals.
I knew she was supposed to be in bed but it’s hard to say no to her when she gives me those sad, pleading eyes.
Anyway, Saylor came in from the backyard and saw she was up playing dolls with me and she punished her. ”
“Punished? How?”
“She made her stop playing and go back to her room and lay down. Halo cried the entire time, calling for me to save her. It was the absolute worst. Then, Saylor and I got into an argument, and she practically sent me back to Grandma’s house,” I tell her.
When I look up to see if she agrees with me, Dr. Blake looks to be holding in a laugh. She’s laughing at me?
“Then what happened?” She barely is able to say without chuckling. I’m glad I pay her for this entertainment.
“I could hear Halo from across the hall, wailing for about ten minutes. That’s when I realized that I was crying too.”
“Mr. Thorne, I know it’s hard but being a parent isn’t always about having fun and playing.
You have to show boundaries and set rules when it comes to kids, or they’ll never learn respect or understand what the word ‘no’ means.
You want Halo to be a well-adjusted child who grows up to be independent, and respectful of others and things, correct?
” I nod but hate that she’s making me have to be a bad guy like Saylor.
“Then you’ll need to follow Saylor’s rules that she’s set.
Maybe you both can sit down and discuss what they are and how would be the best way to share the responsibility.
It’s not fair that Saylor has to always be the disciplinarian. ”
“Oh, trust me, we have. I’m fully under the get in line or else umbrella,” I mock. “And that’s not all. These Disney movies are just tear jerkers. I mean why does every movie have to have one of the parents die?”
I know that I still have a lot to work through with my own mother and father dying on me, but I can’t think about that right now and decide to change the subject.
“I’ve become a dog owner.” I perk up when saying so.
“Really? And how did this come about? I remember your reaction to being a dad, this any different except this is an animal?” she questions.
“Well, I didn’t really choose to be an owner, I’ve inherited two,” I tell her.
“Please elaborate.”
“Saylor and Halo both have German Shepherds that are attached to them, Zeus and Ginger. They had them when I came here to find my family. The dickweed has both dogs trained to never leave my girls’ side. Both Saylor and Halo love them, so that means that I have to love them.”
“If you don’t love the dogs that won’t make you a bad person, Mr. Thorne.”
“It will because then it’s just one more thing that Brody will have with them that I won’t.”
“It’s not always about competition.”
“It is with that clown. And I don’t even buy the whole act of him coming over to give my girls the dogs.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think this was just a way to see them and try to plea with Saylor about giving him another chance.”
“You think Brody has a different type of motive behind it.”
“I had Mitch check both dogs and he confirmed that both animals are chipped.”
“I’m not following, Mr. Thorne. A lot of pet owners have their animals chipped.”
“I know that, but I wouldn’t put it past him to do it so that he can always know where my girls are at any given moment.” I huff.
“Have you expressed these feelings to Saylor?”
“I may have mentioned them, but Saylor seemed to brush it off with an eye roll.”
“Is it possible that you might be overreacting, just a tad bit?” I stay quiet because then I really might have to answer it out loud.
“Why not, when you get back to Los Angeles, take the dogs to a new vet and have them replace the chip with news ones? That way Brody won’t be able to trace them, if you’re this worried about it.
I would recommend speaking with Saylor about it before doing it though. ”
Yes, because that is what your wife wants to see, you being insecure. Ugh!
I shrug then sit up on the sofa. I’m not here to discuss that asshole and don’t want to waste my time even hearing his name. Dr. Blake must see my irritation and closes her notebook.
“Mr. Thorne, I know that you don’t want to talk about Brody but he will be a present figure in yours and Saylor’s life, until we all get back to Los Angeles for good.
I think it would be better for you and Saylor if you just talked through everything that you hate so much about him, and then be done.
Holding in animosity will only be more detrimental in the long run. ”
I hate shrinks. It’s like God only gave them the voice of reason on Earth to piss us off.
“I’m good as long as he stays away from me and my family,” I snap. “I don’t want to talk anymore about that bonehead,” I firmly say.
“Of course, Mr. Thorne.” She concedes and removes her glasses. “Why don’t we pick up when we get back to Los Angeles? Give my receptionist a call and we’ll set up a time to meet.”
“Sounds great.”
“Safe travels.”
I leave the room and make my way down the hall and out of the hotel, where Mitch is waiting to take me back to Grandma’s house.
Saylor and I have talked about getting a house where she and Everly grew up in Janesville.
Linc bought a place there, and he and Everly travel there often to see her dad.
I make a mental note to call and ask him about the area and the real estate out there.
Back at Grandma and Grandpa’s house we’ve got just about everything packed up that is coming back with us to Los Angeles.
My phone rings, bringing me out from looking under the bed, and I smile when I see who it is.
“Hey, baby,” I greet. “What can I do for you?”
“Hey Levi, I’ve got the last of our stuff packed but can’t find Teddy Bear. Is she there at Grandma’s?”
Teddy Bear is Halo’s most beloved stuffed animal. It’s a plain, soft, fuzzy pink bear with black eyes and nose. She sleeps with her most nights, or is attached to her hip when she’s toddling around between both houses. Thank God the dogs know not to touch her or Halo would be so upset.
“When was the last time she had her?”
“I think yesterday when we gave her a bath after the ice cream debacle.” Saylor laughs and so do I.
Yesterday we all went for ice cream, as a last time in town event, before heading back to pack.
Halo had other ideas and when I wasn’t looking for two seconds, she managed to get it all in her hair, face and body.
I didn’t fare too well either when I picked her up; she rubbed the ice cream that was on her dress all over me.
My house was closer, so we brought her here to bathe before heading back to Glammy’s house.
I check the bathroom one more time and find Teddy Bear under the towels.
“I’ve got her,” I say, and I hear Saylor tell our daughter, who cheers and claps. There is no better life than this.
“Please don’t forget her and don’t pack her away. Halo will need her for the plane ride.”
“Yes, dear!” I mock, making Saylor giggle. “I’ll be there shortly.”
We hang up and I text Mitch, to let him know that we are ready to head out.
Mitch has been back and forth between Los Angeles and Montana these last two months.
Both Saylor and I agreed that it was too long for him to be away from his life there.
We both know how it feels to be separated for long periods of time and so he has Ryan stay with us, and took the other two back with him.
We aren’t in any danger here, so it’s only been him and Ryan these two months.
Once we made it to the jet, it took three men to load all of our things under the plane.
I understand Saylor’s load because she’s had two years worth of belongings and Halo’s things, but what Grandma is sending us home with is another story.
She didn’t want to leave anything that Halo might miss at their home.
I feel as though Grandpa is going to have to add an addition onto the house with all of Grandma’s things, if she keeps this up.
Little do they know, but Reid has had a playground built in their backyard for Halo to play on.
He’s sent me pictures and even I’m excited to have a go at it.