Chapter 9
NINE
AIDEN
“Aiden, baby. Are you even paying attention?”
I blink myself back to the present. I have no idea how long Jennifer has been talking. Judging by the black television screen and the fact that she has her pajamas on, I’m guessing it’s been a while.
“Sorry,” I mumble, scratching the back of my neck. “It was a long day.”
She wrinkles her nose at that answer. She doesn’t understand how stressful teaching can be, even though she thinks all I do is babysit, which I guess she isn’t wrong. I am a glorified babysitter who gets paid shit to deal with literal shit. On top of that, I still haven’t been able to find Zeus. It’s worrying me now. I know he likes to go outside every now and then, but he usually comes back. The thought that he might be lost is so fucking depressing that I?—
Happy thoughts .
“What were you saying?” I ask, trying to put some pep in my voice.
“I was saying that we need to plan our next trip,” she explains, sipping on wine— my wine—and scoffing at the taste. “What is this? A ten dollar bottle?”
Yes, it is. If she wants some fancy ass wine she needs to buy it her-fucking-self.
Calm down .
“Where do you want to go this time?” I take the wine glass from her gently, taking a sip myself, and seeing nothing wrong with the taste.
She shrugs, looking at her manicured nails, even though I’m sure she already has our entire itinerary planned. “I was thinking maybe Hawaii.”
I stop at that. Hawaii is expensive. Expensive and far away. Does she realize how many planes we’d have to get on to go from our secluded little Alaskan island all the way down there? Plus, it’s just filled with beaches. I’d have to be shirtless, and I can already hear her scolding me about how I’ve been skimping on my diet.
“Wouldn’t you rather go someplace closer?” I suggest softly.
This earns me a hard look from her. “What’s wrong with Hawaii?”
“Well, I think?—”
“I think you’re just feeling self-conscious because you’ve put on a few pounds,” she states, eyes trailing down my form with distaste. “Haven’t you been following my diet?”
There it is, just as expected. I don’t normally feel angry, but I can only take so much before I snap. Why am I even with this woman? I’m not particularly fond of her presence. I’d rather spend my evenings alone than with her, so what am I doing in this relationship?
“Jennifer, I want to break?—”
She raises a slicing hand in the air, blue eyes narrowed. “Aiden Walker. I did not just hear what I thought I did.”
Under her scrutiny, I falter. Maybe I didn’t mean what I said. I was just being ridiculous. Jennifer and I are perfectly happy together, and by pointing out my weight, she’s just trying to look out for me.
Weak, pathetic, spineless Aiden.
Why don’t you just cut the bitch?
Come on, Aiden…
“Sorry,” I say again quickly, fidgeting with a button on my shirt to give my hands something to do. “I didn’t mean it.”
Her face softens, but I know it’s superficial. For whatever reason, she’s still with me, and I can’t fathom why. But she’s dead set on staying with me, regardless that I think it’s obvious I want out. I can’t do it, so the nagging voice in my head is right. I’m destined to just be this weak, pathetic, spineless?—
Unworthy. Unloved.
Soiled. Tainted.
Damaged goods.
“Let’s go to bed,” she says, gripping my arm too tightly and hauling me to my feet. I follow willingly, like her little pet, only to be demeaned by every look and every touch.
Demeaned just like you’re meant to be.
“It’s our little secret.”
Not even Jennifer curling around me in bed, murmuring an ingenuine ‘I love you’ can keep those haunting moments from coming back to the forefront of my mind. She passes out quickly, but I don’t. I know that tonight is going to be a restless sleep. Whether it’s nightmares or memories, something will keep me up until daybreak.
Fracturing my already crippling restraint.
Fight it. Fight it. Fight it.
But when the darkness calls with its sweet tale, it’s hard to resist its allure.