Chapter 10
TEN
LEVIATHAN
“Fuck!”
I roar, growling under my breath like a fucking animal as I smash my lamp against the wall, illuminating my kill wall for a brief second before the room decends into darkness, only put to ease by the sliver of moonlight pouring in from the open window.
Mammon leans against my open door, a brow raised as he looks at me trashing my room. Smartly enough, he doesn’t say anything. Just observes. Always fucking observing. Like a ghost in his own skin, and it’s pissing me off.
“Fuck off!” I shout, grabbing the first thing in my reach and throwing an old skull at him.
He easily sidesteps it, squinting at me. “Calm down, Leviathan.”
“You calm down!” I petulantly yell, ripping my covers from the bed and throwing them on the floor.
Asi comes from around the corner, Bel and Gore hot on his tail. “What’s with the tantrum?” he asks, something akin to amused curiosity in his eyes. Twisted fucker likes to think he’s better than us, but he’s just as messed up. Just like the rest of us—maybe with the exception of Mammon—he lives for the chaos.
“I don’t know,” Mammon says, running a hand down his mouth, that Bible Belt accent he tries to hide peeking out. I know it irritates him when he has a problem he can’t solve. “He hasn’t said much that makes sense.”
“I’m right here!”
“We know you are, Levi,” Bel teases, wagging his brows at Gore. “Do we gotta kill someone? Who pissed you off?”
That’s the question of the fucking hour. A question I sadly know the answer to.
After meeting Aiden at the park, I made sure to follow him home. I was too captivated to do anything else besides trail behind his car. Once he was inside, I hid in a nearby bush until the cover of darkness fell and I could don my mask. I crawled to his window, eager to catch another peek of my mysterious little lamb, until I saw it.
He had a fucking woman in there with him.
I could deal with the deep throbbing in my temple and the twitch in my mouth when they were just talking. That was fine. I even found a little amusement at the way Aiden’s pretty face fell when she said something. Although, I was a bit torn because I want to be the only one that makes his face do anything .
I thought the night was over when she stood but then she touched him. She. Fucking. Touched. Him.
I lost my shit. My breath was stolen, everything in life crashing around me, the cool air feeling like a suffocating avalanche. The darkness was no longer my friend but the enemy that screamed for me to step out into the light and reveal myself.
Still I followed them as they moved from his living room to the bedroom, and I think I must have snapped when I saw her lay down beside him and wrap herself around his body. I was curious, furious, filled with a need so intense to fucking decapitate her. I don’t know what they were doing… Is it cuddling? But I wanted it.
So, when they both fell asleep, I couldn’t endure it any longer. I came home, and here I’ve been, taking out my frustrations on my room because I don’t have any fucking other outlet because I STILL HAVE THIS FUCKING COLLAR ON!
“Should we… stop him?” Gore questions, even though there’s an excited gleam in his eyes. “Restrain him?”
Asi snorts. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Fucking Levi would be like fucking a wild animal,” Bel says, snapping his fingers after a minute. “Wait?—”
“No one’s fucking Levi and no one’s restraining him,” Mammon declares, throwing the rest of my brothers a scathing look.
Bel pouts. “But Daddy…”
“Get out,” I pant, clawing at my scalp, trying to get the image of my Aiden Walker and that woman out of my mind. “Get the fuck out! Everybody!”
“Ooooo,” Gore teases, giddy as hell as he tiptoes into my room. “Are we feeling a bit bloody, Levi?”
“I wanna do it! Me, me!” Bel shouts, jumping up and down, almost through the threshold before Mammon grabs him by the back of his hoodie. “Hey! Unhand me!”
I slump down on my bed, bracing my face in my hands as I try to steady myself. The collar digs into my skin, I can feel the scrape and the tenderness, but it’s not enough.
“You know you want to,” Gore whispers into my ear, already right beside me.
Bel managed to escape Mammon’s grasp and jumped onto the bed, coming to my other side and resting his chin on my shoulder. “Do it, Levi.”
One of them, I don’t know which, pries one of my hands away from my face, placing a dirty razor in my palm.
“Don’t encourage him,” I hear Asi huff, followed by a grunt of agreement from Mammon.
“He wants to,” Bel says, helping me lift my arms as he takes off my shirt. He runs his hands up and down my scarred back. “Don’t you, Leviathan?”
Gore nods against my shoulder as his fingertips walk up my arm. “You’ll feel much better when you do.”
Twisted assholes. Asi is right, they shouldn’t be encouraging me, but they’re not wrong. This loudness in my head, the panic, the complete inability to understand myself will go away with one flick of my wrist.
But they don’t get to watch.
My nostrils flare as I rise, knocking Bel and Gore off me. They jump and clap in excitement, but it’s Asi and Mammon that come and drag them away kicking and screaming. Once I’m alone, I take my time walking up to the cracked mirror in the center of my room. It’s a representation of me, isn’t it? Cracked, shattered, incapable of being fixed.
I run the razor against my collarbone, watching the way the blood dribbles out of the wound.
The trick is to go deep enough so it scars but not deep enough where I would need medical attention. Avoid all the areas that might cause severe blood loss if I press down too hard. Not that it would ever happen. Mammon taught me this coping strategy far too well.
I make the next slash down my peck, the area where the woman rested her head on Aiden. The very same place my head should be, resting on his solid chest, listening to his weak little heartbeat.
More slashes, more blood which I rub against my skin, breathing in deep the sweet coppery smell. I try to banish that woman from my mind and only think about my sweet possession.
I think about how beautiful Aiden would look with my bloody handprints on him. I think about how he would scream when I rip his heart out of his chest. Maybe I could even…
I shove down my pants and take my cock in my hand, using my blood as lube, far more erotic than fucking my dry fist. My breath hitches and I slam a hand against the cracked mirror, shards digging into my palm and only heightening the pleasure I feel. I don’t fight it this time. I don’t try to rationalize what I’m doing. I just feel and let my mind take me where it wants to go.
Places I never thought I’d want to be.
Aiden Walker with tears in his eyes as I choke him on my cock. Aiden Walker, my innocent little lamb, crying as I shove my dick deep in his ass. The rutting, groaning, glorious animalism of it all.
I cut myself again, gathering more blood which pools on my aching length. I gasp, slamming my fist against the glass, only causing more pieces of it to break off.
Suddenly, Aiden’s cries of pain turn into… pleasure.
“Don’t stop, Levi.”
“Give me more.”
“Hurt me.”
Begging for me. Begging for my pain. Begging for my monster.
I pull on my collar but it does nothing. I choke myself, pulling until my vision blurs but my hand is moving with lightning speed on my cock. I fight for breath, the stars dancing in front of my eyes taking the form of Aiden’s freckles.
I coat the mirror with my cum. The blood mixes with my release, and I imagine it painting pale skin that I want to drag my knife down.
I lean forward and swipe my tongue up the mess, tasting my combined essence, wishing I could shove Aiden’s mouth open and feed it to him.
I collapse onto my bed after that—bloody but sated—and I think that maybe the terror twins were right.
I do feel a lot better.