Chapter 35
THIRTY-FIVE
AIDEN
I ache.
Every bone in my body feels like it’s fractured but, at the same time, my mind feels so disconnected from it all. It’s like I’m floating above myself, seeing all the damage on my skin, and wondering how it’s possible to experience this level of pain.
I try to lift my hand, but it’s a heavy lead weight by my side. I try to move my jaw, but it’s locked in place for some reason. I’m unable to move, or speak, trapped in my own body without any way to express myself.
“Little lamb.”
Only my eyes can move, and they dart to the side. Levi approaches me, a look of relief on his face as he crashes on his knees by my bedside. He cups my face in his hands, brushing his thumb across my cheekbone, and I let out a pained groan.
“Sh, sh,” he whispers, that smile still playing on his lips. “Don’t try to talk. Everything is alright.”
No, it’s not. Things are far from alright. I can’t do anything. I’m trapped in a way I haven’t been before, my entire autonomy ripped away from me. His hands, which started to become a comfort on my skin, are now like a blazing fire that scorches me. He’s trying to soothe me, tears prickling in his eyes with joy, and I hate it.
I remember everything.
I remember curling up in a ball on the cold snowy ground, feeling the way Levi kicked at my ribs until I heard one crack. I remember begging him to stop with blood gushing from my mouth as he pummeled my face. I remember him stepping on my fingers with a painful crunch until I was a whimpering sobbing mess.
I remember his brothers cheering him on. I remember him smiling. I remember his laughter.
I’m terrified. Paralyzed with both fear and pain. Unable to do anything as he settles his lips against mine.
“I was so worried,” he says, moving his lips to my forehead. “You’re a little beaten up, but you’re fine.”
Describe what fine means? There’s no way I’m in one piece. Everything feels broken. Humiliation and shame bubble within me at the idea that I could have grown fond of a fucking psychopath like him. Someone who I knew was going to kill me, but who I never thought would hurt me like this.
It’s like he can read the question in my eyes. “It’s not as bad as it looks, really. A conduit took a look at you and said you should make a full recovery, well…” He pauses to think through his words. “Mostly full. We’ll have to wait and see. You have a couple of severely bruised ribs, a fractured cheekbone, some broken fingers. You probably can’t see out of one eye now since it’s swollen shut.” He presses a kiss to that same eye. “The risk of internal bleeding should be gone soon though.”
I let out a choked scream with every word he speaks. It’s a testament to how little he cares about me that I’m here in his room instead of the hospital. I try to scooch away from him but end up flailing in place, pain rushing up every inch of me as I do.
“You don’t have to be afraid,” he says. “I’ll take care of you, little lamb. I promise.”
But that’s what I’m afraid of. I know it was risky running, but I couldn’t face myself after what happened. I didn’t think… this would happen. I got complacent. I started looking at him like he wasn’t a wild beast that could eat my heart out the first chance he got. I underestimated the danger I was in, and I’ve paid the price.
“Do you want something to eat?” He scoffs, shaking his head. “Wait, you probably can’t open your jaw yet. But maybe I could find some soup or something? We want to make sure you’re happy and healthy.”
My God, he’s deranged. Completely insane. Does he not realize what he’s done? Does he not know that I’m repulsed by his hands on me?
I start to cry, fat tears tracking down my cheek as I lose control of my bladder, unable to help it.
“Hey, it’s okay,” he chuckles, brushing my hair back as he gestures at my wet crotch. “You’re still perfect to me. Still so beautiful. I’ll get you cleaned up while you sleep.”
No, I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to be unconscious around him, distrustful of what he’ll do to me.
But I’m not given a choice as a rag is placed over my nose, making my eyes fall shut as my breathing slows.
The last thing I see is Levi’s smiling face, silver eyes full of genuine happiness.
And I’ve never hated someone more.