Chapter 10
“I can’t believe you actually managed to get the whole week off. The last time that happened was…well, never. Not that I can recall, anyway.” Suzanne lowered two cups of coffee to the table outside on her patio. Tracy had shown up unannounced, but they were forever guilty of doing that to one another so Suzanne wouldn’t complain. “Do you think it’ll last, or are you likely to be called in at some point?”
“I’ve told the boss I’m going on holiday. That way, nobody will call me to cover a shift.” Tracy winked as she took her coffee in her hands and smiled against the rim of the cup. “You’ve been quiet lately. Is everything okay?”
Suzanne looked out at her expansive, pristine garden and smiled. “Everything is perfect. For the first time in a long time, everything is just…coming together.”
Tracy narrowed her eyes over the top of her cup. “And this is all because of the courier woman you’re dating?”
“Yes. Jen. She’s…great.” Suzanne sat back against the rattan furniture and sighed. “I think because she came into my life so unexpectedly, I’m in a little bit of shock about it all.” Suzanne wouldn’t dream of showing that side of her to Jen, but she could admit it to her best friend. “She’s good for me. It all feels right, you know?”
Tracy leaned forward and squeezed Suzanne’s knee. “I’m happy for you, love. It’s about time you got back out there and lived your life. You know John would only want the best for you.”
John . Suzanne could only smile whenever she was reminded of her late husband. They’d created a beautiful home together and so many incredible memories, but this was a new life now. It was a fresh start. A second chance. “I know. And Jen knows about him, too. She’s been really great about it all whenever we discuss it.”
“Good. I’m happy to hear that. We don’t need another Rosie situation.”
Suzanne’s brows rose as she fell silent. Last year, their good friend Rosie had started dating again after losing her fiancé in a work accident. She’d met what they all thought was a wonderful guy, only to later find out that he would criticise her and question what he meant to her whenever Rosie mentioned her late fiancé in a conversation. Thank God Rosie wasn’t dating him anymore.
“You’re right. That was a dreadful period of time for Rosie.” Suzanne shook her head lightly. “You know how it feels? A little like John has sent Jen to me for a reason.”
Tracy cocked her head as she regarded Suzanne with an understanding smile. “If that’s how it feels to you, then run with it, love.”
“Oh, I will. I’m not backing out of this. I’m not giving myself the opportunity to talk myself out of anything at all. I just want to enjoy Jen. All of her. Anything she can offer.”
“It sounds to me as though that’s already happening, Suzanne,” Tracy said, sipping her coffee. “And I’d usually ask that you slow down and be sure this is what you want, but I can see how happy she makes you. Your eyes light up, and that hasn’t happened for a long time now.”
“I know it’s only been two weeks since we went on our first date, but I feel as though I’m already at that stage of missing her when she’s not here.” Suzanne felt a little bit needy as she said that. While she didn’t want to slow down, she had wondered if she should. Just a tiny bit. “Do you think that could become an issue?”
Tracy lifted a shoulder. “It’s hard to say. It seems to me that Jen wants the same as you. Unless she’s hinted at maybe taking a step back, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”
“Quite the opposite, actually.” A shiver worked its way down Suzanne’s spine when she thought back on the weekend. It was Wednesday now, but the three days apart hadn’t done anything to shake those thoughts from Suzanne’s mind. “Jen is fully here when we’re together. She doesn’t hold back her affection. I think that’s what I like about her most. How forthcoming she is about her feelings and what she expects.”
“And are you equally as forthcoming?”
Suzanne dipped her head as she grinned. “Yes. It seems so effortless in the moment when it happens.”
“I don’t want to jinx any of this, but it sounds like you were supposed to ask her out for that drink. And yes, I was wary when you told me about her that day, but you didn’t really give me a lot to go on. Nor did I expect you to tell me you were going on a date.”
Tracy didn’t need to explain herself. Suzanne completely understood her reason for questioning it. It wasn’t every day she stopped couriers on her doorstep to flirt with them. But thank God she had on that particular occasion. “I understand. I think I would have had the same reaction if it was the other way around.”
Tracy relaxed in her seat. Or slouching, as Suzanne called it. She was forever slouching. “So, when do I get to meet Jen?”
“Oh. Not for a while yet. I’d prefer to enjoy her and keep her to myself for a while longer. This is my favourite stage of dating, and I’d like it to continue for as long as possible.”
“You mean…you think meeting me would change her in some way?”
Suzanne laughed and shook her head. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. But while it’s just the two of us having a lot of fun, there is less pressure on the relationship. Well, potential relationship.”
“That’s fair. I can see why you want to do that.” Tracy had always been supportive and understanding. It was one of the reasons they got along so well. “So long as you enjoy yourself, I can’t really ask for anything more.”
“Trust me,” Suzanne said, her mind wandering back to Jen. “There is plenty of enjoyment going on lately.”
Tracy barked a laugh and drained her coffee cup. “Well, it’s good to know one of us is happy.”
“Nothing on the dating apps?” Suzanne asked, her nose wrinkled as Tracy shook her head. Tracy had been single for just over a year now. Suzanne had insisted she wouldn’t be alone for long back when Tracy had split with her ex-girlfriend, but it just didn’t seem to be happening for her right now. “Well, maybe things will start to look up for you soon.”
“It doesn’t help that we’re understaffed, and I rarely get the time off to enjoy dating. It had worked so well with Clare, but I can’t blame her for calling it quits. People deserve love and commitment. While I can offer that, it’s not enough when you only get to see someone for a few hours a week.”
Tracy was right. Suzanne couldn’t imagine only giving Jen a few hours of her time a week. The beauty of working from home meant that Suzanne didn’t have to worry about that. And being freelance certainly helped. “Things will change for you. I promise you.”
“When, Suzanne?”
Suzanne puffed out her cheeks, knowing Tracy wouldn’t like her answer. “Maybe when you’re working less?”
Tracy threw up her hands and scoffed. “Great. So, when I retire then!”
Jen stopped in the middle of the public gardens, still shocked by how well-maintained this area of the city was. She’d always known the people around here had money, but this public garden was still public and city council-run. Why did the kids around here get to have the nice shiny play area, but the kids in Jen’s area didn’t? It hardly seemed fair, but then again, life always was about the postcode lottery when it came to who deserved what in this country.
“Are you okay?” Suzanne turned to Jen when she realised she wasn’t moving. “Jen?”
“Oh, yeah. I was just admiring your fancy area.” Jen resumed her walk, feeling content when Suzanne lowered her hand and took Jen’s. Even in this mostly conservative area, Suzanne didn’t care that they were holding hands. “It’s a shame my area doesn’t have this sort of thing.”
“Which sort of thing?”
“Manicured lawns. Well-kept play areas for the children. Picnic tables and fountains.”
Suzanne nodded slowly. “Yes. It’s one of the things I don’t like about living around here.”
Jen hadn’t wanted to ask before now, but she had noticed that Suzanne didn’t have the accent most around here did. She didn’t sound ‘posh’ at all. “When I look at you, it seems as though you fit right in around here. But now that I know you, you’re not the same as these people.” Even Ruby’s mum walked around thinking she was better than most people. She turned her nose up at anyone who was remotely different. Thankfully, Ruby hadn’t been the same as Lyn. “You’re not from around here, is what I’m saying.”
“I’m not. I’m from a little village in West Lancashire. My accent tends to come out a lot more when I’m drunk, but I mastered toning it down when I met John. I guess the accent has just stuck at this point.”
Jen smiled. “Oh, I don’t know. I catch a bit of northern every now and then.”
“Sorry.” Suzanne shook her head. “It just threatens every once in a while.”
“Don’t ever apologise for being who you are. I knew it the moment we went on our first date that you were nothing like the snobs around here. You may have the car and the house to fall into line with these people, but you have a good heart, a great personality, an amazing smile…and one hell of an arse.” Jen winked, lightening the mood. “I had my own ideas about you before you asked me out for a drink.”
“Oh?” Suzanne guided Jen towards a bench that looked out onto the rose garden.
“Nothing terrible. But I did think you were one of those. Snooty. Up her own arse. Self-centred.” Jen cleared her throat as they sat beside one another. “I used to walk up your garden path and sneer to myself. I thought you were probably married to some big CEO while you sat at home doing nothing but getting everything you wanted. I couldn’t have been more wrong.”
“I think we’re all guilty of assuming we know people. I’m fairly sure I’ve done the very same thing in the past.” Suzanne lay her hand on Jen’s thigh and squeezed. “I didn’t grow up with wealth. None whatsoever. My dad was a miner, my mum was a seamstress, and my brother was a pain in the arse. He still is, but don’t tell him I told you that.”
Jen smiled in Suzanne’s direction when she winked back at her. “Sounds very working class to me.”
“My life was very working class. I never forget where I came from. But John also didn’t put me where I am now. I did that all by myself.” Suzanne straightened her shoulders as she said that. Jen could see the pride bursting from her eyes, but she understood. She had also been proud to make something of herself once upon a time.
“Can I ask you something?” Jen turned to Suzanne, holding her hands in her lap.
“You can ask me anything.”
“Why me?” Jen didn’t know why she was asking that question. Suzanne saw something in her, and that was what counted. “I know what I’m capable of when it comes to relationships, but still…why me?”
“Why not you?” Suzanne frowned, clearly confused by Jen’s question. “I don’t understand why you would even ask that question.”
“I guess we’re just from completely different worlds—even knowing where you came from—and I’m naturally curious as to why you gravitated towards me.” That was the truth. Even if Jen didn’t have the past she did, she would still wonder why Suzanne was sitting on this park bench with her. They were entirely opposite. In most things, anyway. “You’re clearly very successful, and I’m a courier.”
“A very special courier to me.” Suzanne gave Jen a knowing look. “And to answer you, I don’t particularly care about someone’s background. So long as they’re a good person, someone who will treat me right, then I’m not sure what social class has to do with it. I know some very wealthy people that I wouldn’t even give the time of day to. I also know some people who had a very unfortunate upbringing who are some of the most wonderful people I know.” Suzanne turned her attention back to the rose garden. “My best friend was raised in foster care. She was passed around from a very young age, didn’t know if she was coming or going, but she’s one of the greatest friends I have. She barely lives comfortably, she falls behind on paying bills, but she would give you the shirt off her back.”
“That’s my kind of person. The people who’ve had it hard are often the most generous.”
“You’re right.” Suzanne crossed her legs and sighed. “She knows about you, by the way. We had a long conversation this morning.”
“O-oh.” Jen was taken aback by that. She hadn’t anticipated people knowing about her and Suzanne dating. Not from Suzanne’s side of this, anyway. “Well, I hope I’ll get the chance to meet her one day.”
“She said the very same thing. I’d love to introduce you to one another when the time is right.”
Jen lay her head on Suzanne’s shoulder, feeling far more than content this evening. “I kinda like us how we are right now. No pressure to be perfect. Still learning about one another. Just…having fun.”
“That’s what I told her,” Suzanne said, wrapping her arm around Jen’s shoulder. “Neither of us need to pressure any of this. Some days it goes fast, others a little slower. But I like that pace. I like not knowing what’s going to happen from one day to the next. So long as we can spend time together when your schedule allows for it, then I’m perfectly happy with that.”
“Me too.”
“Like this evening. I didn’t expect you to contact me to go for a walk and a chat. I thought Thursday and the weekend was what I was allowed. So, this has been a lovely surprise.”
Could Jen admit to Suzanne that she wanted to see her every evening if it was possible? After all, she only went home from work and retreated to her bedroom most of the time. Surely spending time with Suzanne was the logical thing to do here. “I’m available pretty much every evening.” Now that I no longer have to check in with my probation officer , Jen wanted to add but wouldn’t dream of it. “I’d like to see more of you if that’s something you’re also thinking about?”
“I’d like that.” Suzanne turned her head and kissed Jen’s hair. “How about some coffee before we go our separate ways for the night?”
Jen tilted her head back and looked up at Suzanne. “Sounds perfect. Let’s do it.”