Chapter 32
Jen sat at Suzanne’s dining table with her laptop open as she scoured the internet for fundraising ideas. Ruby’s birthday was just five months away, and she wanted to mark it somehow. Maybe now that Lyn was back in her life, Jen could do something she used to love doing. Raising money for charity. And what better way than to do it in Ruby’s name. Her best friend had always loved a good party, and that was the avenue Jen was considering going down as she sat here with a stone-cold cup of coffee.
She lifted her phone and called Lyn’s number.
“Hi, Jen. Lovely to hear from you.”
Jen smiled and sat back in her seat. “Are you free to talk for a few minutes?”
“Of course. I’m just about to tuck into my lunch. What’s up?”
Jen didn’t want to disturb Lyn’s lunch break. Anything she wanted to talk about could wait for a more suitable time. “I can call you back later if that’s better. Maybe this evening?”
“Now is fine, love. Talk to me. What’s going on?”
“Well, um…I was thinking that with Ruby’s birthday coming up in a few months, I could do something for it. I’ve been looking on the internet all morning for some fundraising ideas, and I think she would have loved a charity karaoke night.”
“You want to do that fundraising you mentioned when she died?” Lyn sounded surprised, but Jen would always want to be involved in that kind of thing. More so now when she was fully fit and no longer a danger to herself or anyone around her. “That’s a wonderful idea.”
“You think?” Jen grinned.
“Absolutely.” Lyn cleared her throat. “I actually went to one a long time ago. If I remember right, the people who came to the event—ticketed, of course—paid to sing. Only a couple of pounds a song, but you’d be surprised how much it raised for the chosen charity.”
“I like that. Ticket sales and payment to sing. It’s nothing too drastic in terms of setting up the event, and it sounds like a pretty chilled but fun night.” Jen felt positive about the idea. It would be highly unlikely that they wouldn’t sell all of the tickets, and with it being in Ruby’s name, more people were sure to get involved. “I know it’ll be a sad night for us, but I want to turn her birthday into something positive. Something that will keep us occupied while remembering the fun Ruby brought to our lives.”
Lyn sniffled down the line. “Oh, Jen.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You haven’t. I’m okay.” Lyn paused. “But I think you’re right. It’s time we started to remember Ruby with a smile…rather than tears.”
Jen allowed the tension to fall from her shoulders, inwardly sighing at what Lyn had just said. Jen couldn’t have put it better herself. It was time. “I think that’s a good idea. You and I both know she wouldn’t want us to miss her for too long.”
“You know what she’d say, don’t you?” Lyn laughed.
“Yep.” Jen inhaled a deep breath. Ruby’s voice was firmly stuck in her mind. It always would be. “Oh, my God! What’s with the face? Crack a smile. You could be dead tomorrow.”
Lyn laughed harder. “Oh, wow. You sounded just like her.”
These moments would always be bittersweet. Jen didn’t want to sound like Ruby. She wanted Ruby right beside her, saying those things herself. “I want to get to the bottom of what happened to her.”
“I…know what happened to her,” Lyn said quietly.
“I know we technically know. SADS. But I mean…the why.” The one thing Jen had never been able to get her head around was the fact that her healthy best friend could just die in the night. “I think it would help to give me some closure if it’s even possible to find out the truth about the disease.”
“Again, I know why.”
“O-oh.” Jen frowned. “I didn’t know that.”
“You know how I always told you and Ruby to look after yourselves once Lee died?”
Jen didn’t have a lot of memories with Lee, Ruby’s dad. He had died when they were both young. “Yep. No fatty foods. Plenty of exercise. No smoking.”
“Well, Lee was a big guy. We all know he took no notice of keeping himself healthy. I don’t think I ever saw him exercise in the years we were married…and his gut? Well, let’s just say cuddles in bed were difficult since it always got in the way.” Lyn sighed. “Anyway, SADS, or the heart complications associated with it, are usually passed on from one of the parents. As much as a fifty percent chance. Even though I cannot prove it, given the fact Lee has been gone a long time now, it ties in with Ruby’s death. Even though her dad turned his nose up at a lettuce leaf, we came to the conclusion that maybe he did have a heart condition, and it was passed down to Ruby. We never knew about it, and testing may not have shown anything for Rubes, but it does make sense.”
“It…was hereditary?” It didn’t change the fact her best friend was gone, so Jen didn’t know why, but she felt a strange sense of calm wash over her.
“We believe so, yes.”
“H-how do you feel about that?”
“It depends on the day. Sometimes, I wish Lee had just been an unhealthy bastard, and that was what caused his heart attack. Other times, I wish we’d known if he had a heart condition, and then I could have been more proactive when it came to Ruby. I don’t think anything that happened to Lee could have been different, I’m certain he died young because of his lifestyle, and I was forever telling him he was killing himself, but I don’t know. I’ll always wish we’d had concrete answers.”
Jen mulled over the information for a moment or two, understanding where Lyn was coming from. She just hoped Lyn didn’t blame herself for what happened to Ruby. Nobody could have known she wouldn’t wake up on that hot, sunny Tuesday morning. “You know what I think is important to remember?”
“What’s that, love?”
“That Ruby lived her life to the fullest, was an amazing person for the time we had her, and laughed at anything life threw at her. We can’t go back, and we can’t bring her back, but we can remember everything she brought to our lives. We can go on and do the things she couldn’t but always wanted to do. We can talk about her and laugh about all the stupid shit she did, and we don’t have to feel sad about it all the time. That…it’s okay to have a good life even without her. She wouldn’t hold it against us.”
Lyn chuckled, but Jen heard the pain laced through it. “You’re right.”
“Makes a change. I’m usually doing everything wrong.”
“You let me know what you need from me when it comes to this fundraiser, and I’ll be right by your side, Jen.”
Jen raked her fingers through her hair and smiled. “I will. And Lyn?”
“Yes?”
“She would want you to laugh the way you used to. She always told me she could hear you before she saw you. I hope you find that laughter again one day, if not for yourself…for Ruby.” It was no surprise that Lyn found it hard to enjoy life after such a tragic loss, but Jen was going to do everything in her power to be the best friend she could be to Ruby and look after Lyn. “We’ve got this, you know? Life and all that.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry for all the ways I let you down, but I’m here for you. Always . No matter what. Me and my family.” Jen caught a tear as it dropped down her cheek. “And now, I have a birthday bash to sort out and a lot of bad karaoke singers to find. You know she loved the worst ones around.”
“Mmhmm. And now I have a meeting with the boss about a potential promotion.”
Jen beamed a smile. “That’s amazing. Good luck, Lyn. Even though you don’t need it. Ruby will be with you, and that’s worth more than all the luck in the world.”
“Bye, love. I’ll see you Sunday for dinner with Suzanne and Denise.”
As the call ended, Jen slowly lowered her phone to the dining table and rested her elbows on the table. Tears spilled from her eyes at a rate she couldn’t comprehend, but it wasn’t necessarily sadness. It was a relief. An…understanding regarding Ruby’s death. An appreciation that Jen had rekindled those relationships that meant so much to her.
“Jen?” Suzanne’s soft, gentle voice filtered through the air. And then a supportive hand rested on her shoulder. “Baby, are you okay?”
“Y-yeah.” Jen quickly brushed her hands against her cheeks and turned, looking up at Suzanne. “Just been on a call with Lyn.”
“I know. I heard everything. I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Do you, by any chance, fancy getting involved in a birthday fundraiser for Ruby with me?”
Suzanne took Jen’s hand and guided her to her feet. She cupped Jen’s cheek and smiled. “It would be an honour.”
Lazily stroking her fingers along Jen’s collarbone, Suzanne watched her profile, the air around them different tonight. Jen had seemed looser, less in her own mind. She hadn’t sat and chewed her lip all night, and she hadn’t continuously picked at any piece of fabric on her hoodie. Suzanne didn’t make it a habit to watch those things, but she had noticed the lack of it this evening—specifically since her call with Lyn had ended.
“Tell me what you’re thinking…” Suzanne shifted closer, their naked bodies pressed together as she draped her leg over Jen’s.
“Right now,” Jen said, turning her face to Suzanne. “I’m not thinking about anything at all. Which is weird for me because I’m usually always thinking.”
“You’re not even thinking about the fundraiser?” Suzanne grazed her fingertips down between Jen’s breasts, only for her palm to settle against Jen’s stomach.
“Nope. Nothing at all.” Jen smiled as she shuddered. “Though, if you move that hand any lower, I know exactly what I’ll be thinking then.”
“Oh, I bet you do.” Suzanne sat up on her elbow and leaned down into a kiss. They had spent the last two hours enjoying one another, but she couldn’t get enough of Jen Fletcher. “It’s probably along the lines of what I’m already thinking.”
“And what’s that?”
Suzanne stared down at Jen, searching those heavenly eyes. “That I can’t wait until I’m back in my office at work and we’re alone together.”
“Will you be wearing one of those suits you opened the door to me wearing that time?” Jen’s eyes clouded over a little. Suzanne knew what was running through her mind. “You look fucking hot in suits, by the way.”
“Will it encourage you to lock my office door and take me against my desk?”
Jen guided Suzanne’s hand between her legs. “What do you think?”
Fuck. Jen was soaking all over again. Would they ever actually learn to keep their hands to themselves? Suzanne hoped not. “Mm, you should have told me about the suit thing long before now if this is what it does to you.” Suzanne eased two fingers inside Jen and moaned when she tightened around them. “Maybe I’ll even throw in some sexy lingerie, too.”
“B-babe.” Jen dug her heels into the bed and buried her head in her pillow. “Fuck.”
“Oh, the idea of me in a suit is something you like a lot , huh?” Suzanne took one of Jen’s nipples into her mouth and sucked gently. “That’s something I must remember.”
“S-Suzanne, I don’t give a fuck what you wear. I want to rip it off you, regardless.”
Suzanne pushed deeper and sucked a little harder. Jen’s mouth fell open, but Suzanne saw the slight smirk she wore. Jen was close, and Suzanne could barely contain her own arousal as she watched Jen’s face contort, her hands fisted in the sheet. “Need a little more, baby?”
“Y-yes.” Jen just about managed to nod, her hips lifting with every thrust of Suzanne’s fingers.
Suzanne quickly slid down the bed and situated herself between Jen’s legs. There was nothing greater than the taste of Jen on her lips, and as she watched her soaked fingers ease in and out of Jen, Suzanne found herself grinding against the bed. But right now, this was Jen’s moment. Suzanne’s sole focus was on her pleasure. She dipped her head and sucked Jen’s clit into her mouth. The sexiest moan drifted around the room, and Jen’s hand found the back of Suzanne’s head, her back arching when Suzanne chanced a look up at her.
“Babe, shit!” Jen clenched her jaw when Suzanne probed her tongue through her wetness. “Ah, fuck. I-I can’t hold on.”
Suzanne drew back, breathless, and said, “Then don’t. Come in my mouth.”
Jen rode Suzanne’s face, releasing around her fingers and against her tongue as she roared her approval around the room. Suzanne couldn’t help but smile. Knowing what she did to this woman would always make her smile.
“Mm.” Suzanne brought her fingers to her lips and sucked them. “You taste delicious.”
Jen panted as she placed her hand on her forehead and laughed. “And you’re fucking insanely amazing.”
“Insanely amazing? That’s quite the description.”
Jen urged Suzanne back up the bed and rolled on top of her. “I mean it. You’re amazing, and I love you more than anything in this world.” She brought a hand to Suzanne’s face and brushed her hair back. “I don’t know how we made it to this point, but I do. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.” Suzanne regarded Jen with an understanding smile. At one time, the slightest thing could have broken them in those weeks leading on from their breakup, but Suzanne would be forever grateful to Jen for giving her another chance. A final chance. Because Suzanne sure as hell wouldn’t mess it up again. “Your call earlier,” she said, searching Jen’s eyes. “Did you get the closure you were seeking?”
“I…yes.” Jen rolled off Suzanne and cuddled into her. “It’s something I’ve been waiting a long time for.”
“I know it doesn’t change anything in terms of Ruby’s loss, but I’m glad you got that closure.” Suzanne turned in bed, almost nose to nose with Jen. She reached for the cover and brought it up over them. “You seem different tonight.”
“I know. I feel different. Less anxious about things.” Jen brushed her nose against Suzanne’s, smiling as they gazed at one another. “I think that I had to go through everything I went through to see the good in life again.”
“Maybe.”
“Well, if I hadn’t lost everything, I wouldn’t have worked the job I did and then met you. If I was still at Longmere Primary, I’d have no reason to be over this side of town…and I wouldn’t have knocked on your door.”
Suzanne draped an arm over Jen’s hip and stroked her fingers across the small of her back. Tonight, she wanted to stay in this position. Uninterrupted and incredibly in love. “It’s hard to believe we’re here like this, just from that simple knock at the door.”
“I think taking the courier job was the best decision of my life.” It meant a lot to Suzanne to know Jen felt that way. But more than anything, Suzanne was incredibly proud of how Jen had picked herself up and kept her head. “I thought I had it all when I was with Lizzie. And yes, I had the house and the job and those things we all desire growing up, but here with you… this is having it all. Having you is more than anything else I could ask for in this world.”
Suzanne swallowed down the emotion in her throat. When she looked at Jen, she still saw the youthfulness. But deep down, Jen had been through so much that not having everything in terms of the tangible meant very little to her. Love was what she wanted, and between them, they had it in bucketloads. “You have a beautiful heart, and I feel privileged to be the one who holds it.”
“And it’ll never belong to anyone else, babe. It’s all yours.” Jen kissed the tip of Suzanne’s nose and sighed. “Life is good. Don’t you think?”
“Oh, life is very good.” Suzanne squeezed Jen’s hip and closed her eyes. She just needed a few minutes, and then she should probably start dinner. “But you are even better.”