Epilogue
Jen stopped dead as she walked through the door to the room Suzanne had hired for Ruby’s charity event. Even though Jen had agreed that Suzanne could decide on the venue and decorate it, she hadn’t expected… this . Thank God she was on her own right now because she was sure her eyes were bulging out of her head. Suzanne had gone above and beyond.
She moved further into the enormous room and slowly spun around, taking in every detail. The intricacy was impressive, but Jen knew Suzanne would likely pull out all the stops when it came to the design. Jen had expected something minimal yet beautiful, and that’s what she had, only it was so much more. The neutral pastel colours complemented each other, while the huge sheer drapes hanging from the ceiling and gathered in each corner gave the room a little more sophistication.
Oh, this is incredible.
Jen relaxed her shoulders and smiled as she approached the centrepiece of the night. A portrait of Ruby. It sat amongst a mass of white roses and gypsy grass, her bright white smile beaming back at Jen. She didn’t cry when she saw pictures of Ruby anymore, and that was down to the wonderful support she had received from Suzanne over the last several months. Jen was in therapy—Suzanne had put her in touch with her grief counsellor—and her headspace was so drastically different now that she found it hard to do anything other than smile when she thought about her best friend.
As she inhaled a deep breath and turned away from Ruby’s picture, Suzanne was standing in the doorway wearing the most incredible white gown. Jesus Christ . Jen’s palms became clammy as she smiled back at her girlfriend, the idea that this was her life now quite startling. “Babe, this is stunning. You look stunning.”
Suzanne crossed the room and took Jen’s hand. They gazed into one another’s eyes for a moment or two, and then Suzanne pulled Jen against her. “I wanted it to be perfect. It had to be perfect. For you and for Ruby.”
“She’d love this. She really would.” Jen hung her arms loosely around Suzanne’s neck and grazed her nails against her skin. “No matter what you’d done here, it was always going to turn out perfect.”
“Thank you for putting your trust in me. I know how much this event means to you.” Suzanne touched her forehead to Jen’s and smiled. “Everything is ready. You don’t need to stress about anything at all.”
“Seriously?” Jen’s brows rose as she drew back a little. “Everything?”
“Mmhmm. Everything.”
“I can’t believe you’ve done all of this for me. I know I asked you to get involved, but you’ve taken care of it all and I don’t know how to thank you.”
“No thanks needed. I love you and I wanted to do this.” Suzanne dipped her head and kissed the tip of Jen’s nose. “And may I say, you look very dapper this evening.”
Jen had opted for a tailor-made suit for the event. She’d snuck off one afternoon when Suzanne was at the office and had her fitting, and now here she was…revealing it to her. “Thanks. This is the first time I’ve really looked forward to a night out like this. I wanted to treat myself and look good with you.”
Suzanne’s brows drew together. “Baby, you always look good.”
“Not this good.” Jen smirked as she lowered her arms from around Suzanne’s neck and snaked one around her waist instead. “And tonight is the night when ninety percent of the people I know will meet you for the first time.”
“Then I hope I do you proud.”
Jen’s heart swelled at that. She had been proud of Suzanne from the moment they’d got together. “I’m not worried. Neither of us have anything to prove to anyone. That in itself makes me proud to be with you.” Jen glanced around again. “Lyn is going to be beside herself when she sees what you’ve done here.”
“Catering will be here and set up by nine.”
Jen drew back a little. “Set up?”
“Mmhmm.”
What did that mean? Jen narrowed her eyes. “What are they setting up? It’s just a buffet, isn’t it?”
“Not…quite,” Suzanne said, hesitantly. “I thought a buffet was too predictable.”
“Right.”
“So, we have a hog roast with all the bells and whistles, a pizza company who will make them to order, an ice cream van, and a Korean street food van.”
Completely shocked, Jen stared at Suzanne, unsure what her hands were capable of if she dared to touch her right now. This woman was so amazing that Jen wanted to push her up against the nearest wall and lavish her skin for the rest of the night. In this moment, that wasn’t ideal. People were due to walk through the door in the next thirty minutes or so.
Right on cue, the DJ strolled into the venue, his equipment already set up prior to Jen arriving. He regarded them both with a nod in acknowledgement and walked towards the area he would be working from tonight.
Jen took that as her opportunity to guide Suzanne out of the room and towards a separate empty bar area. “Babe, I don’t know what to say. You’ve done so much here, and I can never repay you for that.”
“Are you happy with the outcome of it all?”
Jen smiled. “Of course I am.”
“Then that is repayment enough.” Suzanne glanced at her watch. “Now we wait.” She pulled out a chair and sat down, then offered Jen the one next to her. “I hope you’ll dance with me later.”
Jen rested her elbows on her knees as she took Suzanne’s hands and held them tight. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life dancing with you.” Jen lowered her head and kissed Suzanne’s knuckles. “But most of all, I’m going to spend the rest of my life loving you unconditionally.”
Suzanne gazed lovingly into Jen’s eyes, but it seemed she had something on her mind.
“What is it?”
Suzanne smiled as she looked down at their hands. “I…want more for us.”
“More?” Jen had been content with what they had so far. She was working within Suzanne’s business, she was earning one hell of a wage, and she spent practically every hour of the day with her. “Are you not happy, babe?”
“Oh, I’m far more than happy, Jen. I’ve been happy with you since the moment you walked back through my door all those months ago. I just…” Suzanne paused and shook her head. “I want you to move in with me.”
Jen’s brows rose. She wasn’t necessarily surprised; Suzanne had mentioned in the past that she saw them living together one day. Jen just hadn’t thought it would be one day soon. “You think you could tolerate me and my stuff there?”
“I’ve never once felt as though I was tolerating you.” Suzanne cocked her head and smiled. “For someone who has been in the position you have in the past, you’re the least problematic person I know. Please, don’t ever think I’m tolerating you.”
“I’m just worried that I’ll agree and move in, and then you’ll wish you’d never asked me.” Jen was fully on board with the whole ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’, but she would have to come to terms with what her life was now at some point in the future. Why not here and now, in this moment with Suzanne? “If you’re sure that you’re ready for something so big, then okay.”
“I’ve wanted you to be at my place permanently for some time now, baby.”
Jen allowed the smile that was quickly spreading on her mouth. “You really think about the day when I move in?”
“Lately, it’s all I think about.”
Then it was decided. Jen would pack up her life and move it into Suzanne’s. It seemed silly to wait a moment longer if Suzanne was sure she wanted this. Jen, well, she’d never turn down such an offer given how incredible life had been lately. For the last three months, she enjoyed waking up and going to work. She enjoyed knowing that she was doing something that Suzanne was proud of her for. While Suzanne would never judge Jen for her career choices, it did feel good splurging and enjoying the finer things in life now that she was bringing in a decent and respectable wage. “When do you want me there?”
“Not tonight,” Suzanne said.
“Oh. I thought I was coming back with you when this has finished?”
Suzanne shook her head. “No. I have one more surprise for you.”
Jen wasn’t sure she could handle any more surprises. She was already overwhelmed by everything Suzanne had done so far. “Another surprise?”
“We’re staying here tonight. In the main suite.”
“You’re joking!” Jen had seen pictures of the main suite when Suzanne had suggested this hotel as one of the potential venues for the charity event. The hotel itself was already astonishing, but the suite…well, Jen had fantasised about the potentials of being inside it. Basically, it involved a very naked Suzanne. As she searched Suzanne’s eyes, Jen knew she wasn’t joking at all. “Fuck. You’ve really booked it, haven’t you?”
“Would I ever lie to you?” Suzanne reached out a hand and stroked her knuckles softly against Jen’s cheek. “Mm?”
“No, babe. Never.”
The sudden thump of music broke them from their heart-to-heart, reminding them that now wasn’t the time for sitting around. They had guests to entertain, money to raise, and a brilliant night ahead that was sure to create a lot of memories. “Come on. We can discuss everything another time. There’s no immediate rush.”
As they rose to their feet and Suzanne turned for the door, Jen reached out and took her hand. “Hey.” She turned Suzanne back to her and grinned. “I am ready. Once this weekend is over, I’ll be at home with you, okay?”
“At home.” Suzanne’s voice caught, but she wore the most beautiful smile. “Our home.”
“Our home.”
With the charity event in full swing, Suzanne stood back and admired the smile on Jen’s face. She had been introduced to everyone as they came through the door, and now Suzanne needed a moment to stop and breathe. It had been a long time since she’d taken on something so mammoth, and honestly, party prep wasn’t really her area of expertise. Still, she was impressed by what she’d somehow created, and if the business ever took a nosedive, Suzanne had the option of branching out into event planning.
As she cast her gaze around the room, everyone seemed to be thoroughly enjoying themselves. Especially the woman currently on the karaoke, annihilating her rendition of Meatloaf’s Bat out of Hell . Suzanne had no choice but to enjoy it. Wasn’t that what this night was all about? Letting go and having fun, while remembering Ruby. People had certainly taken the point of the event to heart, and now everyone was going full throttle into the night.
“Oh, Suzanne.” Jen’s mum lay a hand on Suzanne’s shoulder as she breathlessly stopped beside her. “What a bloody brilliant night! You’ve done a wonderful job here.”
“Thank you. I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.”
Denise winced. “Shouldn’t have suffered through new heels, though. I’m in agony.”
Ah. Suzanne hadn’t made that mistake. Not tonight. She looked down at Denise’s heels and guessed they were likely a similar size. “I have a pair of flats up in our room if you wanted to borrow them?”
Denise stepped out of her heels and exhaled a sigh of relief. “You know what, I may just take you up on that offer. I don’t know how much longer I’ll last in these bloody things.” She tutted and shook her head. “Jen warned me not to wear new heels. I should have listened.”
“She told me the very same thing.” Suzanne laughed as she gently nudged Denise’s shoulder. “Just let me know if you want them and I’ll go up for them.”
“Thanks.” Denise eyed Jen across the room then turned her attention back to Suzanne. “Don’t you think Jen seems different tonight? I can’t put my finger on why, but there’s just something about her. She’s…glowing.”
Suzanne had a feeling that was down to the conversation they’d had a while ago. Tonight just seemed like the right night to ask Jen to officially move in with her. It felt right. “She’s in a good place right now.”
“She’s been in a good place since she met you,” Denise said, regarding Suzanne with an appreciative smile. “You complement one another very well.”
“Thank you.” Suzanne knew they did but hearing it from the most important person in Jen’s life made Suzanne warm inside. “For saying that and for raising such a wonderful daughter.”
“When you found out the truth, I thought I was going to lose her all over again. Only this time…for good.” Denise smiled wryly and looked away from Suzanne. “When she walked through the door, saturated from the rain, I had no idea what the coming days meant. She just seemed defeated once and for all.”
Suzanne swallowed down the emotion in her throat and held her composure. “I never should have reacted the way I did. I was falling in love with her one moment and asking her to leave the next.”
“I…don’t worry about her for a single second anymore. I’d actually go so far as to say that she’s happier than she’s ever been. Yes, she would be even happier if Ruby was still here, but other than that, I’ve never seen my daughter smile and laugh the way she’s doing right now.”
Suzanne followed Denise’s line of sight. Jen was speaking animatedly to Lizzie and a few other friends. As she watched on, her heart pounding that little bit harder, she noticed the glow Denise had spoken of. “She makes me ridiculously happy.”
Denise took Suzanne’s hand and squeezed it. “I’m so very happy you found one another. It’s a pleasure to know you’re a part of my family now.”
Oh, God. If Denise said anything similar to that in the next thirty seconds, Suzanne was going to be an emotional wreck. She cleared her throat and composed herself. “And the same goes for you, Denise.”
“MUM!” Jen waved Denise over when the DJ called both of their names. Had…Jen put her name down for karaoke? Oh, this was going to be great if she had. Suzanne couldn’t say she’d ever heard her girlfriend singing, other than when she hummed along to the radio making dinner.
“Sorry, duty calls.” Denise picked up her heels and trotted barefoot across the room.
They took to the stage, accompanied by the sound of cheers and clapping. All Suzanne could do was take a seat on the nearest empty chair, while enjoying whatever was about to happen. The DJ introduced the song—Lee Ann Womack’s I Hope You Dance —and tears filled Suzanne’s eyes. She didn’t know why she felt emotional, but Suzanne suspected this song meant a lot to Jen.
Blown away by the beautiful sound of Jen’s voice, Suzanne’s brows rose with surprise, but that emotion in her throat wouldn’t budge. No, it was staying for the duration. When Denise reached down for Ruby’s portrait and handed it over to Jen, the floodgates opened. Suzanne brushed the back of her hand against her cheek and sniffled, feeling utterly ridiculous. Jen wasn’t crying, so why was she? Suzanne knew exactly why. It had taken Jen so much strength to even live since Ruby’s death, but here she was, living and in love with her life. It meant so much to Suzanne to know she could be a part of this. She was honoured. Truly .
She fisted a hand under her chin, enamoured by the woman on the stage that she was privileged to call hers. This was probably the first time Suzanne had sat back and really taken stock of the life she had now. Jen couldn’t do enough for her, that sentiment was always returned, and life was simply beautiful. To know that Jen was moving in with her only made this moment all the more special. Quite frankly, Suzanne couldn’t wait to wrap Jen up in her arms and hold onto her.
As the song came to an end, Jen kissed Ruby’s picture and wrapped her mum up in a hug. They remained rooted to their spot for a moment or two, and then Denise drew back and cupped Jen’s face. Jen wore a sad smile, but that was to be expected. It was only natural for her to feel emotional tonight. And if Suzanne was being honest, she preferred to see this side of Jen. The most human and most vulnerable side of her. It reminded Suzanne that no matter what, they could both let it all out together whenever they needed to.
Suzanne puffed out her cheeks and rose to her feet when Jen approached her. She reached out a hand and pulled Jen in, the warmth of her body radiating through Suzanne. “That was beautiful.”
Jen simply smiled into a kiss. “Thanks, babe. I used to sing it with Ruby all the time.”
“I had a feeling.” Suzanne stroked a thumb against Jen’s cheek, searching her eyes while she explored deep within herself for the right words. “I think Ruby would be very proud of you.”
Jen lifted a shoulder. “It’s just a song.”
“Only it’s not. It’s your way of remembering the good times with her. It’s your way of staying connected to that part of your past. But most of all, it’s you…sharing a part of your friendship with Ruby with the rest of us.”
“You’re right.” Jen squeezed Suzanne’s hip and grinned. “I have so many parts of it to share down the line.”
“Then I can’t wait to know more.” Suzanne entwined her fingers with Jen’s and guided her towards the dancefloor. She’d hinted at a dance earlier, and right now, she planned to make good on it.
Jen suddenly turned Suzanne to her and crushed their lips together. It stole her breath and turned her knees weak, but she didn’t care. They were madly in love, and neither of them were afraid to show it. “You ready for the rest of our lives together?”
Suzanne angled her head and regarded Jen with a soft smile. “I’m more than ready.”