Chapter Nineteen MADISON
Chapter Nineteen
MADISON
After Graham left, I tried to shake my negativity loose.
My insecurities felt like crabs in a bucket as far as winning the battle of what I should be feeling bad about this morning.
Underneath the familiar negativity was this teeny, tiny voice trying to point out that it sure seemed like Graham had liked being with me.
Maybe it was okay. Maybe I didn’t need to be irrational about him not wanting anyone to know about us.
It wasn’t as if I had gone into last night thinking it was something special. Definitely not. I hated how bad I was at being casual.
Wilbur let out a sharp bark. I was standing in the kitchen with my hand resting on the counter while I stared out the window at nothing. Leaning down, I scratched behind his ears. “You’re right. I need to focus.”
Wilbur seemed to like that and trotted beside me as I went to fetch my laptop. I’d discovered the built-in bookshelves had a fold-out desk by the windows in the living room. It was the cutest thing. It folded out at one end, and I could look out the windows while I worked. It was perfect.
Tapping open my email, I let out a little sigh.
I liked being busy and feeling productive.
Work had been one area of my life I’d felt good about, and now I didn’t even have that.
I was accustomed to plowing through over fifty to one hundred emails in the morning.
And now, I had a measly eight. I was coming to despise this whole online dance around applying for jobs.
Automated emails were the thing. I knew them well because that was what we’d had in our company.
On this side, they felt so impersonal and so cold.
I assured myself that if I ever ran a business again, I would actually hire a human being to deal with that stuff, even if it was expensive.
It was such a letdown to see the automated replies that I knew came from a system and not a human.
I let out a squeal when I realized I had an actual response from a company in Anchorage. “Yes, yes, yes!”
I pumped my fists in the air. I startled a rabbit, and it bounded quickly across the clearing between the trees.
As I watched, I realized its brown fur was turning white.
“Oh wow,” I breathed, completely forgetting about my job situation for the moment.
“You must be a snowshoe hare,” I said through the window.
I thought perhaps the rabbit could hear me because it stopped and looked back at me.
After a second, it hopped into the trees out of my sight.
I blinked and brought my attention back to my laptop.
I had an actual job possibility. They’d contacted my references, and I had more experience than anyone locally.
They wanted me to come to Anchorage tomorrow.
“Oh my god, oh my god!”
I jumped up from my chair and ran a little lap around the couch.
My heart was pounding wildly, and my hands were actually clammy.
While I was confident about my job skills, I’d only worked in my family’s company.
This was crazy. I was going to have my first job interview.
Wilbur was excited and followed me along my next lap around the couch.
I ran down the hall to look in my closet.
At least, I had plenty of perfectly good clothes.
As I was perusing my options, I realized I needed to reply to the email.
I raced back down the hall, skidding to the desk, and sat down quickly.
I had enough sense to open a document and type my reply, reviewing it several times before pasting it in and sending it.
I then returned to look in the closet and settled on a navy pantsuit.
It was just a touch past the bland shade of navy to give it a hint of color.
I remembered the advice I’d been given by one of my professors when I was getting my MBA.
She’d said you didn’t really want anyone to remember what you wore to an interview.
You wanted them to focus on you. Her advice had been to avoid being too flashy or too blah.
Not that I was that old, but over the years I’d been hiring people at my family’s company, I’d learned she was right.
I never remembered what people wore when they blended in; I only focused on the person and their qualifications.
Considering that women, myself included, could spend lots of time worrying about what to wear, that advice saved me time.
Wilbur seemed to know I was feeling good, and he trotted everywhere I went around the house. Not that I had that many places to go. I passed between checking on my laptop to see if I had other emails, to going back to my bedroom to recheck what I had settled on to wear.
At one point, I held my phone in my hand, the touch of it cool.
It got warm as I stared at the screen. I wanted to call someone to tell them the good news, but I’d learned quickly that my friends in Houston only liked me because of my connections.
My grandfather would’ve been excited for me, but he wasn’t here.
I didn’t want to call my mother because she would probably lecture me about falsifying the books for my father.
He hadn’t spoken a word to me since his initial arrest. By virtue of being a white-collar criminal, he was cooling his heels on supervised release with all of his assets frozen and travel limitations keeping him in Texas.
After a few minutes, I decided I’d go to Firehouse Café.
Janet would be excited for me. Maybe I could make some friends in this town soon.
Maybe I’d even make friends at my new job.
I left Wilbur at home after taking him out for a walk.
Between thinking about my job, or my almost job, my mind kept spinning back to last night.
I was still rather stunned by all of it.
I didn’t know if it was me or if it was Graham, but wow.
It had been crazy good. Just thinking about it made me flush all over.
When I pulled up outside the café, I wasn’t paying much attention.
I practically skipped in because I was so excited to tell Janet my news.
My shoes squeaked on the floor when I looked ahead and saw Allie and Graham at the counter.
My eyes whipped up to the clock above the chalkboard menu. She must’ve just gotten out of school.
Hello, awkward moment, here I come.
Just as I was about to turn around and leave, Janet called, “Hey, Madison!”
Allie’s ponytail swung as she turned, her eyes twinkling with her smile.