Chapter 44
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Jesse
I’m standing in the middle of my living room, looking around at the half-hearted Christmas decorations I’ve thrown together.
The lights are tangled in a way that makes them look intentionally messy, and the tree… well, it’s leaning a little to the left, as if it’s trying to escape.
But it's here.
It’s Christmas, right?
Olivia deserves at least this much. A Christmas that doesn’t look decorated by a guy who can barely tie his own shoes.
I’m still working on figuring out what the hell I’m doing with all of this to make it perfect, when the doorbell rings.
I glance over at the clock. It’s late. I wasn’t expecting anyone.
I open the door, half expecting to see a delivery guy or maybe Leo dropping by to talk shop. But when I see her, standing there in front of me with a look that could freeze hell over, my stomach drops.
Ivy.
Uh oh.
Considering what happened yesterday and judging by the look of disapproval on her face, I know where this might be going.
Shit.
“Hey, Ivy.” I force a smile on my lips. Maybe if I just act casual, this won’t get out of hand. “What’s going on?”
Her eyes are wide with fury, but there’s something deeper there, too… hurt. That’s what hits me first. I feel it in my chest, but I try to shrug it off.
“I need to talk to you,” she says, sharp as a razor. “And don’t you dare pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
I step aside to let her in, closing the door behind her. “Okay, let’s talk.”
“I want to know why,” she demands, her eyes drilling into me.
“Why her, Jesse? After everything you’ve given me hell for with Freddie.
Mitchell and Timothy, too. Why the hell are you sneaking around with Olivia?
Why the hell didn’t you just tell me? Why did I have to find out through town freaking gossip? ”
I freeze. For a split second, my mind tries to process the words, but it doesn’t help.
The words hit me hard as bricks, one after another. Ivy’s face is twisted with anger, but it’s the hurt behind her words that stops me dead in my tracks.
“I didn’t plan for any of this,” I say, trying to explain, but my words seem to be coming from someone else. “It wasn’t like I was looking for this. It just happened. We didn’t want to hurt you, Ivy, which is why we didn’t say anything. We were trying to work out what it was first.”
She shakes her head and clucks her tongue.
“Really? You’re secretly dating my best friend, and now you want to tell me that it ‘just happened’?
Don’t you dare tell me this is just some damn coincidence!
” She crosses her arms, shaking her head.
“Is this some kind of revenge because I fell for your best friend, huh? Because of me and Freddie? I thought you were okay with things now.”
“It has nothing to do with that…”
“Or is it because my relationship isn’t conventional? Because I’m with the twins, too? Is this because you’re embarrassed about me? Or you want to make me feel like shit too? Because this isn’t the way. Olivia has been through so much recently. I don’t want her more hurt than she already is.”
I swallow hard. “It’s not like that, Ivy.”
“So, what is it like?”
This could be my time. My chance to tell her everything, but we didn’t discuss this.
I don’t know how ready Olivia is for Ivy to know everything. So I don’t manage to say a word.
“You’re doing the same damn thing you always do. Acting like you’re the good guy, telling everyone what they should do, but behind closed doors, you’re doing the same shit you told me was wrong!”
I feel my chest tighten, and this time I can’t avoid the guilt creeping up on me. I open my mouth, but no words come out. She’s right, isn’t she? I should’ve been honest from the start. I should’ve told Ivy before any of this went too far.
But I didn’t.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ivy presses. “Why did I have to find out from rumors? Why was I the last to know? You’re seriously keeping this from me, Jesse?”
I feel the anger rise in my chest now. “It wasn’t like that, Ivy. It’s complicated.”
She laughs, but it’s not a laugh of amusement. It’s bitter, a slap. “Complicated? You’re telling me it’s complicated?” Her eyes narrow. “You know what’s complicated? Where do you and I go from here? Because how can I trust you again?”
I swallow hard, suffocating under her words. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to hurt her.
I never wanted to be the one who did exactly what I hated: keeping secrets, playing games, and being a hypocrite.
But that’s what I’ve become.
“I didn’t want to hurt you, Ivy. But this…” I let out a long breath, struggling to find the right words. “This is just… it’s not easy. It’s not black and white.”
“Then explain it to me. When did this start?”
I sigh heavily. “The first night she came here.”
Ivy gasps. “The night I couldn’t have dinner with her?”
All I can do is nod. “Things got out of hand quickly, and it just kept happening.” I meet her eyes, hating the disappointment there. “We really do care about one another now. This isn’t just a thing anymore.”
“I don’t know what to say to you, Jesse. I really don’t.”
Ivy takes a long, hard look at me, and I can see the walls coming up behind her eyes. Her warmth is gone, replaced by the cold that comes when someone feels completely betrayed.
“You don’t have to say anything, Ivy,” I say quietly. “I know I messed up. I should’ve told you. I should’ve been upfront with you from the beginning. But I didn’t, because I didn’t want to hurt you.”
She stares at me for a moment longer, and I can see her fighting with herself, trying to decide if she’s going to say something else or if this is the end of the conversation. Then she exhales sharply. She’s holding back pain and nods.
“I don’t know what to do with this, Jesse. You really… I really thought you were better than this.”
“Ivy…” I start, but she shakes her head, cutting me off.
“Don’t. I don’t have the energy for this right now.” She turns on her heel, heading toward the door, her steps sharp and quick. “You’ve made your choices. I’m done.”
I want to say something, anything to make it right, but I can’t. Nothing I say now will fix this. I stand there as she opens the door, her back to me, her posture stiff and final.
And then she’s gone.
The door slams shut with a quiet thud that rings louder than any of her words ever could. I don’t know how long I stand there, frozen, my chest tight, but eventually I drag myself to the couch and collapse, my hands gripping my head.
I’m not the good guy. I never was. And now I’ve hurt the people I care about most.
I grab my phone, my hands shaky as I unlock it, scrolling through my contacts before I hit Karl’s name.
The phone rings twice before he picks up.
“Jesse? What’s going on?”
I swallow. I can’t hold it in anymore. “I just… I need to talk to someone. Can I come over?”
“Yeah, get over here. Now.”
I let out a shaky breath, already knowing that there’s no going back from this. I stand up, grab my jacket, and head for the door.
As I’m about to leave, I glance back at my half-hearted Christmas tree, the pathetic little decorations that were supposed to be for Olivia. For us.
It feels so damn wrong now.
“You look like shit,” Karl says the moment I step into his place. “What the hell is going on?”
“Yeah, well…” I mutter, shoving my hands into my pockets. “Just as we feared, Ivy found out about me and Olivia. She doesn’t seem to know that you and Leo are involved in the relationship, too, and I didn’t tell her because I think Olivia should make that choice. But it still got ugly.”
Karl doesn’t flinch, doesn’t look surprised. He just watches me. “What happened?”
I shake my head, frustration crawling up my throat.
“She’s pissed. Like… really pissed. And hurt.
I tried to explain it, but it’s like nothing I said mattered.
I mean, how could it? I’ve been so damn hypocritical about everything, and I’ve been lying to her.
I never meant to hurt her, Karl. But it feels like I’ve done everything wrong. ”
“What happened?” Leo’s head pops around the door.
I let out a long, exasperated breath, running a hand through my hair.
“Ivy knows,” I say, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. “She found out about me and Olivia.”
Leo purses his lip. “Fucking town gossip.”
“I know, and that’s what’s pissed her off more. Apparently, everyone knows except her.” I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees, staring at the floor. “I should’ve told her.”
“And now,” Karl interjects. “You need to warn Olivia that her best friend knows everything.”
Shit.
My heart sinks, but I know he’s right, especially because Ivy’s wrath might come her way too.
“Shall I call her?”
Karl nods. “I would do it now. Sooner rather than later. If we’ve learned anything from this mess…”
I pull my phone from my pocket, staring at the screen, my thumb hovering over Olivia's name. My chest tightens. I know Olivia isn’t going to be happy about this, but I have to do it.
I glance at Leo, then Karl, both silent but watching me closely, making sure I’m going to do the right thing.
Which, of course, I am. But I’m nervous about it all.
With a shaky breath, I hit the call button. The phone rings twice, and each second drags on. When Olivia picks up, I feel the rush of relief, but it’s short-lived.
“Jesse?” Her voice comes through the line, a little breathless, as if she’s just stepped outside or something. I can hear the faint sound of the wind in the background. “What’s up?”
“Olivia, hey…” My voice cracks, betraying the nerves I’ve been trying to suppress. “I need to talk to you.”
There’s a brief pause on the other end, and I imagine her pausing whatever she’s doing, the same way I’m standing here. Frozen, staring at the floor, trying to figure out where to start.
“What’s going on?” she asks, concern creeping into her tone.
I take a deep breath, pulling myself together as best I can. “It’s about Ivy.”
Her voice changes immediately, a subtle shift that makes my stomach drop. “Ivy? What about her?”
“Ivy knows,” I say, hating the words the second they leave my mouth. “She found out about us… about me and you. Only you and me, she doesn’t know anything else, but…”
“Oh no.”
“I know.”
“Okay,” she sighs heavily. “So, I need to prepare for what comes next. For Ivy coming to me.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“No. I’m fine.” I can hear a strength returning to her. “I can do this. It’ll be fine. I’ll just… I’ll let you know when it’s done.”