Chapter 45
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Olivia
I haven’t slept a wink.
Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but I’ve barely closed my eyes all night. It feels like the world has been turning under my feet, and I can’t seem to catch my balance.
I’ve been staring at the ceiling for hours, my mind racing with everything that’s to come. I know she isn’t going to be happy, and I don’t know what to do about it.
I should have called her last night, but I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
How do you apologize for this? How do you explain to someone that I’ve been involved in something messy, complicated, and, most of all, secretive?
I’m not one to shy away from tough conversations, but this? This feels impossible.
I stare at the clock on the wall. It’s barely morning, and I’m already running on fumes.
I should be getting ready to head out to the truck, should be making sure everything’s prepped for the holiday crowd, but the only thing I can think about right now is Ivy.
Knock, knock, knock.
I jump.
The sound is sharp and loud, interrupting the silence in a splash of cold water. I freeze in place, my heart skipping a beat.
It’s not a light tap or a friendly knock. It’s the kind that demands attention. My stomach twists with an anxious knot, and before I can think better of it, I’m already walking toward the door.
My pulse is racing, and I try to steady my breath, hoping my heart won’t beat out of my chest before I even open it.
When I pull the door open, I don’t expect to see her. But there she is.
Ivy.
Her eyes are bloodshot, like she’s been up as long as I have, and she’s standing there with her arms crossed, her posture stiff. There’s no smile on her lips, no softness in her expression.
She looks like she’s been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.
“I need to talk to you.”
I open my mouth, but the words get stuck. What do I say?
I feel a pang of guilt twisting in my chest, but I push it down, reminding myself that this is the moment I’ve been avoiding. The moment I’ve been too scared to face.
“Come in.”
I welcome her inside, but nothing about this feels warm and inviting.
“I… I’m not sure what to say, Ivy,” I admit, once we’re inside. “I’ve been meaning to call you. To explain.”
She nods, her lips thinning into a hard line. “I’m not here for an explanation, Liv. I’m here because I need to hear it from you. From your side of things.”
Her words are sharp, and I feel them cut into me like a blade. I swallow hard, trying to steady myself. “It’s… complicated.”
“I know.” Ivy doesn’t look away, but the vulnerability in her eyes stabs at my heart. “Jesse said the same thing. It’s complicated.”
She sighs, dropping her gaze for a moment. When she looks up at me again, there’s something darker in her eyes that I haven’t seen in a long time. Disappointment.
“I know I’ve made a mess of things,” I continue, feeling my throat tighten with everything I’ve been holding back. “I should’ve told you. I should’ve said something sooner, but… I was scared. I feared what it might mean for us. For our friendship. And for Jesse.”
Ivy’s brows furrow as she watches me closely. “So, what exactly is going on with you and Jesse?” she asks, colder now, like she’s trying to piece together something that doesn’t make sense.
“Because all I know is that I found out through town gossip. And you’re standing here acting like everything’s fine when… when I thought we were friends, Liv. Also, I was under the impression that you were dating Karl.”
Shit, here it is. The moment to tell the truth. “I am…”
“What do you mean?”
I meet her eyes. “Leo too.”
“So… what you’re saying is… you’re seeing all three of them? Separately, or… a bit like me, Freddie, Mitchell, and Timothy?”
“Exactly like that.”
Ivy’s face goes pale, her jaw clenching as she processes my words.
She doesn’t speak for a long moment, just staring at me, her arms crossed tightly over her chest like she’s physically trying to protect herself from what I’ve just laid bare.
“You’re… you’re serious?” she asks finally, trembling just slightly, like the words are too heavy for her to carry. “This… this isn’t some joke? I mean, I know Jesse has accepted my life now, but I didn’t know he’d find himself in the situation.”
I swallow hard, my throat dry as I try to find the right words to explain the mess I’ve gotten myself into.
“I’ve never been more serious, Ivy. I’m not trying to hurt you.
But I’ve… I’ve been falling for them. All of them.
It’s complicated and messy, and I should’ve told you. I should’ve been honest.”
Ivy’s eyes narrow, a flash of something dangerous crossing her face.
“So, you’ve been keeping this from me. All this time.
And you’ve been hiding it, letting me figure it out from rumors?
” Her voice gets louder with each word, and I can hear the raw pain in it.
“Why, Liv? Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I didn’t know how,” I admit. “I didn’t know how to say it without… I don’t know, ruining everything. I didn’t want to lose you. And I didn’t want to ruin things with them, either.”
Ivy laughs bitterly, her arms dropping to her sides. “So, instead, you thought it would be better to keep it all a secret? To make me feel like I was the last to know. To let me hear it from everyone else but you?”
I wince at the words, feeling the sting of truth in each one. She’s right. I’ve been selfish in my silence.
“I never meant to hurt you,” I whisper, stepping closer to her. “But I’ve made a mess of this. I’m sorry.”
Ivy shifts uncomfortably, her arms crossed tight over her chest as she glances at me with that look, like she’s about to hit me with a truth bomb I’m not ready for.
“Liv, I need to ask you something,” she says, trying to tiptoe around a minefield.
“Shoot,” I say, plastering a smile on my face, though inside, my stomach is a ball of nerves.
She raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re not doing all of this…
I don’t know, to distract yourself?” Her gaze softens just a touch, but there’s still a concerned edge.
“Because, Liv, your life is basically a soap opera right now. Between the fire, your job, and… the move, I’m wondering if maybe you’re avoiding the chaos in your own head. ”
I feel like I’ve been slapped with a metaphorical pie in the face, and for a second, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Wow. So, what you’re saying is—”
“I’m saying, I love you, but sometimes your life is a lot.” Ivy cuts me off, a teasing smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth despite the worry in her eyes. “I just want to make sure this isn’t a hot mess of Liv’s Crisis of the Week.”
I blink, then snort. “You really think I’m the kind of girl who’d start a three-man relationship as some sort of emotional binge watch?” I raise my hands in mock exasperation. “I mean, maybe I’d try it for the drama, but trust me, there’s real stuff here.”
Ivy softens, her smile fading as she watches me. “So, you’re sure? That this isn’t just… a temporary escape from your chaos? I have to check, because…”
I take a deep breath, my eyes locking onto hers.
“I’m sure, Ivy. I’m really sure. It’s not some temporary thing.
It’s not a distraction. These feelings… they’re real.
With Jesse. With Leo. With Karl. I’m not doing this because my life’s falling apart.
I’m doing it because they make me feel whole.
They make me feel like I can breathe, like I’m not just caught in this mess. ”
Ivy’s lips twitch into a half-smile, though there’s still a touch of skepticism in her eyes. “Okay, okay. You’re not just using them as emotional bubble wrap. Got it.”
“Something like that.”
Ivy takes a deep breath, her shoulders relaxing.
“Okay. I’ll stop being a paranoid best friend, and I’ll trust you.
” She smiles faintly, but then her expression shifts.
“But seriously, if I have to start planning a rescue operation because one of them breaks your heart, I’m going to need a heads up.
Especially if it’s my brother. I am not going to ask questions about how you ended up falling for him of all people. ”
I laugh, the tension in my chest easing a little. “Deal. But in the meantime, I’m not asking for any dramatic rescue missions. Just… support.”
“Always.” She hugs me, a little tighter than usual, before pulling back and giving me a sly look. “Now, speaking of support. Christmas Day is coming, and this is your first year in Coyote Glen. Do you want to come to ours to eat?”
I shake my head right away. “No way I’m intruding on your family day. I was actually planning a quiet one this year anyway. No work, no stress, just movies and chill.”
Ivy arches an eyebrow, and I can already see the gears turning in her head. “A quiet Christmas? Are you sure?”
“I think I need the space to breathe,” I admit. “Honestly, with everything that’s happened, I don’t think I’m ready for a big family get-together with the husbands and kids. I think I’ll be better off alone.”
“Okay, well, the offer won’t go anywhere. You know what Freddie is like. I’m sure there will be lots of food.”
I smile weakly at her, but it doesn’t quite reach my eyes. “Thanks, Ivy. I appreciate it, but I think a quiet day is what I need. Just… a little time to reset.”
Ivy studies me for a moment, her expression softening. “I get it. But remember, you’re never really alone, Liv. Not with me around. And not with Jesse, Leo, and Karl. You’ve got a lot of people who care about you.”
I swallow the lump in my throat, nodding. “Yeah… I’m starting to realize that.”