Chapter 15 #3
"Clearly, self-control is not an issue for you.
" She glances down at my erection, standing straight up between us and glistening.
"Cole, how do I convince you that I want to make you feel good just because I care?
Seeing and feeling your pleasure makes me feel good, Cole.
When you make me come, I can tell how much you love watching it. "
"More than anything."
"And why would I not feel the same?" she asks.
"I…"
She touches my lips, then. "Listen to me, Cole. You got a truth out of me that I don't think I've even registered within myself. I…do think that the act of performing oral sex, for me, has become something…"
When she trails off, hunting for the right word, I take the chance to jump in. "Which is why it's not happening again. Never."
She covers my mouth with both hands, one atop the other.
"Don't say never, Cole. I…" she leaves one hand on my mouth, toys with my hair and traces my jawline with the other.
"I liked doing that for you. I was genuinely frustrated that I didn’t get to take you all the way this morning.
I did it because I wanted to. Because I like making you feel good.
I like seeing your pleasure almost as much as I like how you make me feel.
" She sighs. "That said, it is complicated, I suppose. "
"And I'm uncomplicating it," I tell her. "It's off the table—for now, at least."
She nods. "I'm okay with that, honestly.
I…you—" She shakes her head. "You just can't hog all the fun.
" She grins at me. “You're kinda selfish, you know.
Hogging all the blame for our fucked up lives, hogging all the fun sexually.
You've gotten to watch me come, what, half a dozen times at least, and you haven't even once. "
"Like that's some great prize," I say. "Watching me make stupid faces and grunt like a pig."
She frowns. "Hey, nope. Don't do that. Don't minimize it.
" She glances down at my erection again—which, despite all the conversation and lack of attention, steadfastly refuses to subside.
"I fantasized about you, Cole. I had to take care of myself a lot, you know?
Like he'd—well, I explained already. It was never him that I imagined, Cole.
It wasn't some celebrity hunk. I didn't watch porn.
I thought about you. About us. I imagined you as an adult—and let me tell you, the reality of you as a grown man is so, so much hotter than anything I could fantasize about.
I imagined you going down on me, and that, again, is so much better than what I pictured in my head.
I imagined sucking your cock. Tasting you.
Watching you come, watching you make faces, hearing the sounds you make?
That made me come, Cole. The fantasy of making you come turns me on.
The reality of making you come…yeah, baby.
That's gonna make me come. So please, please don’t deny me what I want—and that's you.
Your body. Your cock inside me. All of you, Cole. "
I shift, wincing. "Lace, honey, I—"
"I want all of you. I want your balls in my hands.
I want to taste you. I want you above me.
Under me. I want to hear you grunting as you fuck me.
I want to watch you make those faces. I want to ride you.
I want it all. I want to make up for lost time.
I want to…I want to fall in love with you all over again.
I want you to lose control, Cole. I want you to be aggressive.
I want you to be tender. I want you. I just fucking want you. "
"Lacey—"
"Also, a question. You're a grown-ass man who, by your own recent admission, has had regular, and recent, sex with your fuck-buddy. So how do you not have condoms?"
I groan. "She never came over here. No one comes here.
I've never once brought anyone here. Not even to the porch.
To this day, this, today, with you, is the only time I have ever had sex in this house.
" I sigh, scrub my face. "I keep them in the car, because I always drive up to her place.
But I ran out and she always had some. Her station is right across the street from a pharmacy, so she'd grab some if we had plans to meet.
" I grimace, embarrassed. "It was also partly because I didn’t want to be seen buying them in town.
I was not, and I am not embarrassed or ashamed of my situationship with Heidi.
It was mutual, all the way around. The casual nature of it, I mean.
For her, not just me. Maybe even more so for her.
But people around here like to talk. They like to ask questions.
And as sheriff, they see me as…sort of the town mascot.
Like they have a right to know who I'm dating.
Before I met Heidi, I dated a few women from town.
It got out immediately, and when I went to the drug store and picked up condoms, literally everyone in town knew within twenty-four hours.
I got looks. She got questions at work about how it was.
About me—private questions. Erm." I feel myself redden.
She just cackles. "They wanted to know if your dick was as big as they all imagine it is. And the answer is no." She holds a straight face for two seconds before cackling. “It’s so much bigger."
"Lacey," I groan, covering my face. "Not the point."
She pats my cheek. "I know. I get the point. I'm teasing you." She frowns, blinking. "And if either of us is seen in town buying condoms, the rumor mill will fucking explode."
"Exactly."
"So we go somewhere else. Out of Three Rivers. We talk. We figure things out. And we buy a jumbo pack of condoms and make up for lost time."
"Lace, I don't want to make up for lost time.
" I caress her back from her buttocks to her nape.
"I just want you. I want us. We have a lot to talk about, a lot to figure out.
We can't just jump into a relationship like nothing ever happened, like we’re normal exes trying again. It's new. We're both different people."
She leans forward, resting her head on my shoulder; she nods with her forehead on my shoulder. "You're right."
"But getting out of town and spending some uninterrupted time together? Away from all of this? Yeah, sign me up."
"Can you be away from the office on Monday?"
I shrug. “Yeah."
"So we take off. Right now."
"And go where?" I ask.
She shrugs. "I dunno. Charlevoix? Petosky? South to Ludington?"
"Maybe we just drive and see where we end up," I suggest.
Lacey's smile could outshine the sun. "Sounds good to me."
I start to stand up, but she shoves at my shoulders. "When I said right now, I didn't mean right this exact instant."
"No?" I say. "We have different ideas of what right now means, then."
"Right now, in this case, for me, means after I do…this." She curls a hand around my erection.
"Lacey, you—"
Her hand covers my mouth. "Hush. Just…just let me."
"I have come, you know," I say. "I came on your tits. Remember? You said I hadn't."
She grins. "Ohh, yeah. How could I forget? That was hot as fuck." She strokes my length. "Maybe we'll do that again. Or maybe you can come on my face."
“No."
"No?"
"I'd never do anything to degrade you like that."
"It wouldn't be degrading if I let you. If I wanted you to."
I grab her wrist and pull her hand away. "Lacey, wait."
"But Cole—"
I bring her hand to my mouth, kiss her palm.
"No, Lacey. I'm done fooling around with you.
Sure, I'm feeling the fact that I've gotten close twice now, but that's fine.
I can deal with that. We'll get dressed and go, and this will go away on its own eventually.
I want to be with you. I want to make love with you. "
"I want you to fuck me, Cole," she whispers. "I don't want to wait. I'm horny for you right now." She rolls her wrist to dislodge my grip, reverses so she's got my wrists in her hands, and guides my hands to her chest. "Please, Cole."
The weight of her hot, heavy tits subsumes my thoughts, makes my cock pulse. "Fuck, Lacey."
She keeps her hands on mine, lifts her tits, squeezes them. "Play with my tits, honey. Put your face between them. Scratch me with your beard. Just…just let me do what I want. Let me touch you."
“Lace, baby—”
She fuses her mouth to mine and sucks my tongue into her mouth, grabs my cock and caresses it. Pulls away enough to whisper against my lips. "Don't you want it, Cole? Doesn't some part of you just want to let me?"
"Yes," I growl. "Fuck yes. So goddamn bad."
She nips my earlobe, breathes hot. Whispers.
"Then give yourself permission to be selfish, Cole.
You don't have to put me first. I promise you—I fucking promise this is what I want.
" She pulls away to look deep into my eyes.
"You don't have to be selfless and noble all the time.
I'll need that from you, make no mistake.
But you need it from me, too. And this isn't a selfless act, honey. This is me giving myself a gift."
I snort. "How do you figure?"
She strokes my length again. "I fantasized about this cock, and now it's right here, and it's mine to play with and enjoy."
"Fuck," I growl.
"So just…just watch. Enjoy how it feels. Enjoy me." I squeeze her tits, and she moans, arches into my touch. “Yes, Cole. Just like that. They're yours. Play with me."
I tweak her nipple, and she whimpers again. Strokes my length, twists at the root. Brushes her thumb over my leaking tip.
"Feels so fucking good, Lace," I breathe.
She cups my balls, massages them, teases her nails over them. "How about that?"
"Even better," I say.
“Yeah?" She cups them in one hand and keeps toying with them while pumping my cock with the other, leaning forward to drape her tits against me. "You love it when I play with your balls, don't you?"
"Yes," I gasp, voice hoarse and tight. "I could almost come just from that."