Chapter 21 #2
“I kept telling myself it didn’t. It made things easier.
Then we auditioned for the same roles, and when I got picked over him, he’d message me about it, saying how the better one keeps winning.
I ignored his messages. Then we got roles in the same movie .
. . I hated whenever we were alone. It’s like you always came around at the right times. ”
“I think this is the right time for something else. If this man hasn’t left you alone yet, he never will.”
“What are you talking about?” I wipe my eyes.
Excitement radiates off him and he jumps to his feet. “Wait right here and I’ll show you. Filming should be done in this room anyway.”
I shake my legs and grunt when the feeling in them still hasn’t fully returned.
I can’t walk yet. Would I try to run and escape him if I could?
I’m not held back by fear this time, something else is making me not want to keep trying.
I don’t even think a loud honking would help pull me out of whatever spell he has me under either.
Minutes later he returns with a person tossed over his shoulders. They aren’t moving or trying to get away. He sets them on the ground in front of me and I gasp. It’s Justin. His mouth is gagged and his arms are tied behind his back. His ankles are taped together too.
“What . . . why is he here?”
“You know why,” he says, kicking at Justin’s foot, but he doesn’t move.
“Is . . . is he alive?”
“Yes. Only sleeping. We can wake him up when it’s time.”
“Time for what?” I look at Justin’s still body again.
“You should really eat something. You’ve been asleep for a while, and you skipped dinner last night.”
“How do you know that?”
“Like I said, if you wanted to keep me out of your house you would have done a better job of it.”
“You . . . you had a camera installed in my house?”
“Yes. Only this one, though. I prefer live footage, watching and filming as it’s happening. It was hard to do when I had to keep leaving for work and to run errands. But I don’t have anywhere to be for a while now.”
“You’re admitting it, then.” A coldness washes over me.
“Admitting what?” He cocks his head and leans down to sit Justin’s body up against one of the corners of the room.
“That you’ve been videoing me and stalking me since way before we met.”
“I mean . . . sure. I do think it’s best to be honest with each other going forward, as much as possible.” He stops moving and slowly turns to me. “You knew.” It’s not a question.
“Yeah.”
“How?” His forehead shifts.
“I took videos from your house, all the ones with our names on them, and when I was watching them, I realized there were some I’d never seen before. You were in my trailer.”
“Yes,” he says.
“And . . . and my apartment.”
He nods sharply.
“You’re no better than him.” I nod in Justin’s direction. “You’re the same.”
His expression goes cold. “No, baby. I’m not like him.”
“You touched me without me knowing. I was knocked out from my sleeping meds. You took advantage of me.”
His eyes are frantic. “No. I only did it because you were restless. You needed my help. You didn’t feel fear after what I did. You were relaxed and in the best mood you had been in days. I gave you something. He tried to take only for himself.”
“Hayden . . . you sound deranged. You aren’t seeing things for what they are.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I am, and I’m waiting for you to get there with me. Join me. Free yourself from the bonds of other people’s expectations. Playing by others’ rules has only done you more harm than good. You don’t have to worry about that here.”
“What do you mean?”
He kicks a black bag forward that he had on his shoulder when he first entered. Bending down, he unzips it and dumps its contents onto the ground.
I’m too shocked to speak, and alarm bells are sounding in my head as I stare at what’s in front of me. It’s all the props from the last movie and some from one I did before it. I touch the handle of the knife, and I’ve seen this before. I trace the brand name on the side, my insides twisting.
It’s the knife I was gifted. I took this to my trailer and then home.
The machete is here too. Blood is covering it.
Kathy’s blood. My chest quickly lifting and falling, I pick up the butcher’s knife, twirling it around in my fingers.
The light up above catches in the metal. My throat is tight. So is my stomach.
“What is all this?” My skin prickles when he smiles at me.
“All for you. To use in our movies. To use on him.” He looks at Justin and a chill goes through me.
“Are you saying . . . no . . . no . . . let us go right now, Hayden. This . . . this isn’t right.”
“Let you go?” He frowns. “You’re not a prisoner. Justin isn’t either.” He glances back at him again. “He’s the co-star. He was chosen for the role right off the bat without a single audition. He should be so grateful.”
I touch the blade again, my heart picking up when I see Justin’s eyes open.
I preferred him in the corner being still and quiet.
Now he’s screaming against the gag and wiggling in his binds.
I want to stop it. I need to. I drop the knife and it clacks to the floor.
I shake my head, scooting away from it. What was that?
Why was I thinking that? Why was I thinking about swinging the machete down on Kathy a third time after learning it was all real.
“No, no, no,” I say out loud, pressing my hands to the sides of my head, my knees closing in on my chest.
“What is it, my little idol?”
“It was you. The note. The gifts.”
“Yes. It was me.”
“You . . . you . . . you swapped on the props.”
“Yes.”
“You knew I might hurt someone.” I claw at my knees.
“I gave you the opportunity, and you took it.”
“I didn’t know . . . I—”
“Yeah you did. You said it felt real. You knew and you walked in front of that camera, using it anyway. You didn’t tell anyone about the letters. Not once was it reported or unwelcome. Stop acting like you don’t want any of this,” he snarls.
“I . . . I . . .” I place a hand on my mouth, my eyes pinned on Justin’s as they blink all the way open.
He looks at me and screams louder, tears running down his cheek.
I cried too and he didn’t care. Where was his sympathy for me?
He wants another big role in the same movie with me, so maybe this can be our last one together.
I can keep saying I don’t want this, but lying to myself has gotten me nowhere so far.
This could be my movie and done my way. I’ll be the most important person in it, calling all the shots. I don’t have to pretend to be anyone else when using a knife or machete on someone. I can be me, and it’ll be okay as long as the camera is rolling.
“I want a sandwich,” I finally say.
His lips curl. “You want lemonade or tea?”
“Tea. Chips too. Potato.”
“You got it.” He leans down to grip my chin and kisses my lips. I press into him, aching for more when he pulls away.
“I’ll be right back, and then I can show you the wardrobe room.”
“Wardrobe room?” My heart leaps.
“Yes. I had it customized for you with a vanity, makeup station, and everything else you’ll need.”
“I want to see it,” I say, trying to stand again, and he lays a hand on my shoulder.
“Easy, baby. You need food first and then I’ll take you there myself. I’ll give you time to get ready, and I’ll set the scene up in here. Sound good?”
It does. It shouldn’t but it does. “Yes.” I stretch my legs out, wrapping an arm over the opposite shoulder. “It sounds perfect.”
“Good. You’re going to get it right on the first take, I know you will. You’re so talented, Sterling, so fucking talented.”
“Thank you,” I say with my heart soaring. He was right. It feels better to accept what he’s offering than to refuse it. And he was right about another thing. What’s wrong with me is the same thing that’s wrong with him—absolutely nothing.
He’s my cameraman and I’m his star. We were always meant to cross paths and create magic together. He’s given me so much and I have yet to show my appreciation. All I’ve done is act like Justin and take. But I don’t want to be anything like him.