Chapter 9 #2
Dina grinned at us from where she sat upright on pillows on the bed.
“Now don’t worry, I will be more upright tomorrow.
The trip? It took a lot. You missed introductions.
This is Lucy. She knows what our lives are like because hers used to be too.
She lost her husbands last year and now she is taking care of me. Lucy, this is Alatheia and Jeremy.”
“Hello.” She had the slightest accent, but I couldn’t identify from where. “I’m going to give y’all a minute.”
With her eyes on the floor, she left the room. Instantly, I knew she had a story but somehow that couldn’t be surprising. Everyone here had a story. Even if they were raised in the Life, it didn’t seem to lend itself to a simple, easy time. You did have to want it.
Jeremy cleared his throat. “I’m sorry for my outburst.”
“Don’t be silly. We’re all outbursting all the time. That’s just what we do.” Julian rose and gave Jermey his chair before walking over to me. He squeezed my arm and then pulled me against him.
Dina stared at me. “Well, I can’t say it’s your best haircut. I mean I wouldn’t recommend the stylist.”
I burst out laughing and then covered my mouth.
Oh wow. I had just cracked up in a sick room.
That was probably really impolite, but Dina must have loved it because her face lit up in glee.
“I need to hear all your stories, if you’re telling them.
Otherwise, I will just say I am glad you are back.
So, so glad. I won’t get to give them the journals, but you’ll do that for me. I know you will.”
The tears I kept holding back fell out of my eyes. “I will. The first set would be done if I hadn’t been… taken away for a while.”
There it was again: the hand-wave I’d always associate with Dina.
“Kidnapped. Your family is such trash. I can say that because I’m dying.
I can say as I wish now.” She hadn’t been before?
What more did she want to say? The thought at least made me stop crying.
Barrett rose and walked to my other side.
“But I hear you are a Monk. Come see me tomorrow. You won’t get to the Monks until the second set of journals, which will take a long time.
I know Daisy Monk. She is frightening. Even for me.
And it drives me a little crazy that she is going to outlive me.
But perhaps she sold her soul or is really a vampire.
Anyway, she won’t get her claws in you because you are too strong for that.
Don’t be a Monk. Be a Lent. It’s safer even if it’s a little bit crazy. ”
“She will be. In three years. If I can convince her.” Jeremy sighed. “I mean she will be in three years. That’s happening. I just need her to believe it.”
Barrett choked. “You told her that?”
“I did. Why not all be on the same page?” Jeremy shrugged.
Rosalind widened her eyes. “Three years?”
Daniel laughed. “Same age you were.”
“Older than me.” Dina met my eyes. I might be the only person in the room who knew the whole story. Not for the first time, I loved that she had decided to trust me.
Our house was quiet that night. They all seemed to be dealing in different ways. Phoenix came back from Group, kissed me, and went straight to his room to try to find the owner of that phone number. I hoped he could. Was he still working on his video game? I needed to ask.
Julian went to his room, took off his clothes, and went and got in bed in my room, in the spot that would be next to me, and proceeded to fall asleep.
Almost instantly. He was a bit of a zombie, sort of mumbled some semblance of goodnight and closed his eyes before he was out.
I had been brushing my hair. A little bit worried, I set down my brush and walked over to him, smoothing out his hair.
How did he always keep it so soft? He breathed deeply, which quickly changed to snores. Wow. He was just instantly out.
Was Barrett okay? Jeremy? I found both of them on their computers. Barrett was reading about end of life care while Jer was doing his work for Kit. They both looked up from their computers when I walked into the living room.
“Jules just pretty much passed out.” I thought they might want to know.
“He usually does in stress. Just not when they took you.” Jeremy stopped typing. “Then it was the opposite. It’s actually better if he is. It’s early, but we can go to bed if you want to.”
I shook my head. “No. I have something to do.”
February 1st 1967
Something has to change. I love my husbands more and more every day.
Truly I do. But seeing them in the morning with a goodbye kiss and seeing them again in the evening, sometimes very late before, ah, evening activities is no way to spend my day.
I have decorated as much as I possibly can.
They didn’t like the red walls. I could tell, but I haven’t changed them.
Okay, I am being immature, but they can tell me they don’t like them or they can learn to live with them.
It isn’t their fault I am so… uninterested in life right now. I am not pregnant. I really hoped maybe I would be.
I have discovered a new show called Star Trek and it amused me for a few minutes.
The vision of the future. Of course, they are still battling things and for that matter there is always the possibility that one of them could be drafted to Vietnam.
No, I am not going to write about that. Some things are too much to think about.
I have decided to go to work with them. I can be helpful.
I know that I can. I just can’t tell them that I am going to do this.
I will show up tomorrow after they have arrived.
They won’t tell me to leave once I am there.
If I try to go with them, they will come up with reasons I shouldn’t.
Really, some of their old-fashioned upbringing can be a lot to deal with.
So I will handle this in my way and get what I want in the end.
In the meantime, I am going to cook a dinner that I will eat alone because they are bound to be very late tonight.
DL
February 15th 1967
Men are burning their draft cards. I saw it first hand in Union Square today when I went down to meet the wife of my husbands’ business contact.
They need a better deal on men’s ties. They’re going to get it.
Turns out I am charming. I am just discovering this, too.
She said I was adorable, and I did try to look really put together today.
I wore my camel-colored wool suit—the one with the perfectly tailored jacket and those lovely flap pockets, each secured with a neat little button.
The sleeves hit right at my wrists, making it just right.
The matching skirt fell a little above my knees, prim but smart, giving me that effortless, polished look I always aim for.
I paired it with my brown leather pumps, the ones that click perfectly on the pavement, making me feel purposeful.
And of course, I finished the outfit with my cream-colored hat, a subtle but elegant touch.
The whole ensemble made me feel sharp and sophisticated—just the way I like it.
Not the most expensive outfit. We have money but so much is going into Lent’s Department Store that I am not going to overspend.
Besides, it was a good idea for her to know she was above me in wealth and power.
I lowered my eyes a lot, thanked her for opinions, and acted the right amount of grateful.
Some day I won’t have to do that anymore.
But for now, I do. I am simply grateful I can help.
I went back to the store after seeing those men burn their cards and realized as I watched them and the women cheering them on how completely different my life is from others my age.
I didn’t feel sad about it. They’re still searching for their futures.
I found mine. But still, I stopped and watched.
Then I went back and folded skirts. The guys were never going to get it right, and we couldn’t hire new employees without making sure they understood exactly how it needed to be done.
DL
I closed the book. Reading her always made my head spin. I looked over at Barrett and Jeremy where they typed. Phoenix was involved upstairs, and besides, I sort of preferred him not coming along to do what I needed to do. Or even hearing it.
“Guys, can we take a walk?”
They both looked at me. Barrett rubbed his eyes. “It’s midnight.” Jeremy finished with, “It’s cold.”
Was it? I hadn’t even noticed on the walk home, and it might have been midnight, but I was wide awake.
I rose. “I’m taking a walk. I have something I need to do. You can stay. I’ll be fine.”
There was no way they were letting me do this alone. I knew that. I wasn’t usually manipulative, but I really would do what I said I would do and go alone if they didn’t come. I just knew they would come.
Both of them jumped up. When I went to the coat closet, so did they. It was Barrett who spoke again. “What are we doing? “
“We’ll talk about it outside.” I put on my coat and my knitted hat.
It wasn’t as cold here as it would be in New York, and I had taken the train in Chicago in the winter.
I needed to toughen back up. Or maybe I just had to relax and be gentle with myself.
If only the world wasn’t trying to kill all of us.
I couldn’t heal when I was battling. I didn’t think. Dina was dying and she had battled in her way her whole life. She would do this, and I wouldn’t do less, even if it was in my own way.
I stepped outside, triggering motion sensors. The guys hurried out after me.
“Is this something we should drive to do?” Barrett asked, and I shook my head no.
“I want to walk. But put the alarm on. Phoenix is distracted and Julian is out cold. I don’t want to leave him unprotected.”
Jer pulled out his keys and hit a button. “Armed. I hope Phoenix doesn’t accidently open a window. It’ll scare the shit out of Jules.”
“Send him a text telling him to not open a window.” That seemed sort of obvious.
Jeremy shook his head. “That’ll tell him we left, and he’ll want to come. You clearly don’t want him to.”
He was always sharp as nails. They followed me down to the lake where I turned and headed a distance more.
This was the only place I could sort through these thoughts.
The only place I needed to be. “Your granny said to me once that there was always the other side of the lake. I have read a lot about it in her journals. I am thinking there will be more to read. I’m not going to spoil her keepsake for you by saying too much, but I will say that she has never been comfortable with this place. ”
Truthfully, it was probably the last place she wanted to die. Although her family was here so maybe she didn’t care.
“Go on.” Jeremy nodded. “We know that our mother’s family is a problem and most likely had something to do with Phoenix’s kidnapping and the death of the kids. They probably sent that text.”
I nodded. “Sure. They were involved, but they didn’t plan it, and they didn’t do it.
There is a social hierarchy. I learn it again and again.
Everywhere I go.” And Dina knew it was important when dealing with people.
“Rosalind’s family is not powerful anymore.
They don’t have the resources to kidnap a Lent.
To make you sick, Barrett. To terrify you, Jeremy.
You were little, but I bet already you were not easily scared. ”
Barrett winced. “That’s true.”
“I’m sure Rosalind’s family played a role, but they didn’t do this and they don’t have access to phones with hidden numbers.
Maybe they’re smart enough, but money talks.
Someone on this side of the lake is involved.
You know all of them, but you don’t really know them.
They invite you to visit because they hardly see you.
They know us. We have to know them. Phoenix is still trying to figure out how to survive this, and ultimately, he has to be able to do what he needs to do to make peace with what he can’t remember.
That doesn’t mean it’s his battle to fight alone.
I’m here. You’re here.” I touched my chest. “Jules is here when he wakes up. They know us. We need to know them. When we look hard enough, we’ll know.
Your parents think it’s her family. Again, I’m sure they play a part, but they can’t see the forest for the trees because this side of the lake are their friends.
But they weren’t Dina’s friends. They’re not. ”
Jeremy touched my cheek. “You’re just back a week. What you’re saying makes sense. But maybe we wait to do it until you are feeling better.”
I wasn’t going to be left in the house when I knew I could help. “I’ll tell you if I can’t do it.”
I already knew that I could.