Chapter 10
Barrett leaned over and kissed me. He wasn’t wrong, it was cold out, but the way it made his lips feel cold, even frost kissed, was perfect.
When he was finished, Jeremy did the same.
It was like we were sealing the deal among us.
We were going to get some answers. I was sick of being victimized and that had to mean that they were well and truly done with it.
Jeremy cupped my cheeks. “We love you so much. I wish this didn’t have to be your battle, too.”
“My battles have become yours, why shouldn’t yours be mine?”
Barrett stroked my hair. “That is really beautiful. Sounds almost like a marriage vow. Since Jer apparently introduced that topic.”
“Months and months ago.” I grinned.
Barrett groaned. “You have no game.”
“I don’t need it with my Princess.”
I wasn’t quite done with what we had to talk about. “We aren’t going to hide this from Phoenix. We’re not lying to each other.” I cleared my throat. “Ever.”
Barrett nodded. “Okay. There’s another vow. He’s going to hate it.”
“We’re going to start with Sam’s family. Who is this dude hearing all his secrets? Low key, if he turns out to be part of this, I am going to be so disappointed in life.”
Well… maybe more disappointed.
March 1st 1967
We opened. And we had a crowd. What a day it was.
Actually, what a week it has been. If I thought we’d get into a routine and be settled after it opened, I was wrong.
I’ve never been so busy. I am in charge of all of the female salespeople.
They call me Mrs. Lent and think that I am just Nathaniel’s wife.
Some of them make passes at Robert, Ed and Victor. Right in front of me.
It’s hard. I never considered the subject of other women and their interest in who they think are eligible men. I suppose I will get used to it. Robert thinks it’s funny that it makes me worried.
“I only have eyes for you, Dina. I only ever will. The Lents love once.”
My father only had eyes for my mother, I think.
I am not pregnant, and it is bothering me more and more.
DL
“Hey,” Phoenix said with a small smile, catching my attention. “It’s two in the morning.”
Was it? I glanced around. Barrett and Jeremy had plopped down beside me after our walk, which had stretched on for some time after they agreed to my plan. I wanted to read just a little bit more. Now they were both asleep on the couch. Jeremy wasn’t snoring. Perhaps that was why I didn’t notice.
I rubbed my eyes. “Find the owner of that phone?”
“No, it’s well hidden.”
That was not surprising. I’d talk to him about it in the morning. I touched Jeremy’s face and he roused quickly. “What’s going on?”
“Bed. Upstairs.”
He nodded before he rose and hugged Phoenix.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen Phoenix so surprised, but still half-asleep, Jeremy stumbled away and up the stairs, presumably to make his way to my bedroom.
Barrett was so great about always waking me up gently or carrying me around.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t do the same for him.
I kissed his cheek. “Let’s go sleep upstairs.”
He sort of nodded but didn’t move. Phoenix grinned. “Am I this hard to wake?”
“Yes.” I grinned back. “Come on, Barrett. Up. We’ll go to warm beds.”
Finally, he sat up and without really saying anything walked upstairs. Phoenix chased after him. “I don’t want him to fall.”
That was probably smart. I turned off the light in the living room and set the alarm by the door. We were about to potentially poke a bear. I didn’t want it catching us unaware.
By the time I got to the room, they had all taken their spots. Jeremy was on the bed with Julian while Barrett and Phoenix were on the other one. It was quiet. Dark. This was my happy place. The way that they breathed. The way that room felt full with them in it.
I stood in the door and stared at them. Dina loved her husbands. She worked with them. Obviously at some point she had gotten pregnant and had a family with them. And she had lived for two decades without them.
The thought almost brought me to my knees. I’d lived four months and I didn’t want to go a day more.
None of them were awake. Even Phoenix had seemed to go right to bed. I stepped into the room and stopped. In the back of my mind, I could feel the way the air had felt sticky in the place where I had been held.
My first nights I had been in solitary. Drugged. Sick. Crying. Oh wow. I took some deep breaths. I wasn’t there now. I was here. But… that was still there. I wiped at the tears silently leaving my eyes.
I was going to die there, and I’d had no idea because I was a big fucking dumbass.
I sank to the floor, my back to one of the dressers and pressed my face to my knees.
This was my safe place, but my stomach was cramping.
It hurt. But that was okay because everything hurt.
No that wasn’t true. I tried to breathe again.
Why was it so hard sometimes just to do that?
Dina was dying. Tears rushed, silent. At least I wouldn’t wake them with my freakout.
My mother had died and now Dina was going to.
My father before any of them. I couldn’t remember him.
The girls were all going to die. They were so alive. Maybe some of them were dead.
My mind raced and my chest hurt. I just stayed like that. Why wouldn’t it stop?
“Alatheia.” Jules’ voice reached me, and I lifted my head. “What are you doing down here, Baby?” He wasn’t whispering but he was quiet. “Was I keeping you up?”
I put my head in my hands. “Didn’t make it to bed. Can’t make my head stop.”
“Oh, I see.”
There was light from the window. Early morning light but it was there. I had never been to bed. How much time had passed? He took off my shoes and laid me next to him on the bed between him and the still-sleeping Jeremy.
He pulled me against his chest. “I don’t know if this will help or not, but if you’re going through it, then I am going through it with you.”
That was really sweet. His heartbeat was steady. Actually, it did help. I tried to match my breath to his as he ran his hands through my hair. I didn’t know if he was going to want to talk. But, I was just done. Listening to his heartbeat, I finally managed to shut off my mind as the day ended.
“Shit.” Phoenix’s voice woke me. His voice sounded rough. “Guys, it’s two in the afternoon. I slept like twelve hours.”
“You did.” Julian squeezed me. “But she was still up at six having a panic attack. I would have been okay with her sleeping all day.”
He might have been, but I wasn’t.
“Really?” Jeremy rubbed my back. “Why?”
I lifted my head and forced my eyes open. “You know, life.”
He laughed, kissing the back of my neck. “Sure.”
I put my head back down. It was too hard. I was basically sprawled on top of Julian. He rubbed his hand in a circle. This couldn’t be comfortable for him. Had he been awake the whole time I had been like this?
“Are you okay?” I asked him.
“Never better. It’s usually Jer or Barrett who get to comfort you. I got to do it. Feel lucky.”
How sad was it that there was a running list of who got to talk me through being not okay?
Phoenix got off the bed. “Tell Dr. Trevor tomorrow. It’s not surprising. We’re going through a lot. That being said, I am sorry that happened. You can wake me, too. I know I haven’t traditionally been the person to comfort you, but I can be.”
Okay. I had to move, if for no other reason than to pee and change my pad. When I finally did move, I saw that Barrett was watching me with hooded eyes. He was worried. I didn’t blame him. In his shoes I’d worry about me too. I had to pull it together. Their grandmother was dying.
“Um, listen, Phoenix and Julian, last night I kind of had an idea and came up with a plan. We went for a walk and talked about it.”
Phoenix looked at Julian. “While I was working and he was snoring?”
“Yes.”
Julian groaned. “I can go see if I can get it stopped.”
I put my hand on his arm. “Don’t worry about that. Really. Unless it’s because something is wrong.”
“What’s the plan?”
I held up my hand. “Barrett can you tell them? I have to pee.”
“Go.” He nodded. “Sure.”
I hurried into the bathroom and closed the door. As quickly as I could I made my way through some kind of cleaning routine. I would need to shower that night. I changed the pad and was glad that the amount of blood was minimal. Maybe it would be over soon. I wasn’t cramping right then at all.
I needed to change my clothes for whatever we were doing next.
I came out and they all turned to me.
“Did something about Sam give you the impression he’s not to be trusted?”
Phoenix met my gaze. He wasn’t happy. That much I could understand entirely.
I held up my hand. “No. I don’t trust anyone, except the four of you, really.
And Dina.” There I had said it. “But I get that you trust him. So, let’s get to know him and then we can cross him and his family off the list of the co-conspirators.
” I frowned. “I mean it’s either this or we go to the other side of the lake and try there.
The thing is no one is inviting us to dinner there. ”
He groaned. “Okay. We’ll clear Sam today. Then maybe we can enlist his help. He knows even more people than we do.” Phoenix ran a hand through his hair. “Everyone shower. Then we’re getting Altheia a phone. By then my friend will be home from school. The right time to drop in for a visit.”
That was right. It was absolutely normal for most people to be in school right now. Well, people my age. I had completely blanked on real life.
That was so… strange and not okay.
Barrett kissed my forehead. “It’s a good plan. Who’s after Sam’s family?”
I blinked. “Dr. Trevor. I mean arguably that’s insane. His son died. But, my family tried to have me killed and I was surrounded by people who had the same fate. It would be kind of sick if he was basically taking our confessions in his office and plotting at home.”