Chapter 17 #2
I picked up my own cup. “I don’t have a strong desire to be seen in front of others right now. Just us. Warning, that might last forever. We could be locked away forever.” I winked at him. “You guys can tell me when it’s enough.”
Jeremy laughed as he came into the room. “They’ll make documentaries about us. The hermits in the house in the Hamptons. But whatever. I’m good with that, truly.”
I put out my hand. We had never settled the photo issue. “Phone please.”
“You have one.” He yawned and took his coffee as his brother dragged himself into the room and leaned against the counter.
Yes, I did. “I need Murial’s phone number. I’m going to take over communicating with her. Relieve you of this burden.”
He stared at me. “Really? You want that?”
Phoenix slid his computer toward me. “Enter your info. I’ll register us. Or you know what? I’ll just do it for you. You don’t need to deal with this.”
It took me a second to realize he was still talking about school.
There were a lot of various conversations going on at the same time.
The sound of music wafted into my ears. The easy light sound of piano playing.
I guessed maybe that wasn’t fair. Sometimes piano playing could be intense, dark.
But it wasn’t right then. Barrett was feeling joyful.
Jer finally passed me his phone. I took a photo, not letting myself look at it at all because I might hate it and then want to take a better one.
The worse the better right now. This was the second time she would be seeing how awful I looked.
Hopefully this time she would realize it wasn’t an easily fixed problem.
I attached it to a message and typed before I could overthink it.
Hey, this is Alatheia. I know we have a lot to talk about, but this is what I look like right now. Still recovering from where I was. I’ll be in touch.
I hoped that would be good enough. “Let me know if—when—she answers, it requires more.”
Jer frowned. “I like that photo of you. It’s you, having taken a walk, looking brisk, bright and beautiful.”
I shook my head. “Liar. I see that picture. We both know I am not yet looking like any of that, if I ever did.” I kissed his chin. “We can get you some glasses. I’m sure there must be an eye doctor somewhere.”
He groaned. “Alatheia…”
Phoenix cut him off. “She’s stunningly beautiful. Even when she was in the hospital. We are in agreement. But we both need an elective. What looks appealing? I’ll go ahead and take whatever you want.”
“You did not have the slightest interest in the same elective as me when we were at Pullman.” I stepped toward Phoenix. “Like, is there a writing class? Or something? You won’t like it.”
He shrugged. “I need to pass. That’s it.
Get out of school so the parents are satisfied I have a high school diploma.
No one is actually expecting me to go to college.
The three of them? Yes. You? Yes, you should go.
Not me. So, I just need to do whatever to get out of there.
I’ll take what you take so we can do the process together. ”
Julian pointed at Phoenix. “Look at him being pragmatic.”
“Fuck off, big brother.” Phoenix grinned at Julian, which negated the harshness of the words.
Jer’s phone dinged and I looked over at him. He winced. “She agrees with you. She thinks it’s three weeks until you can be seen by her but says one way or another she will be seeing you then.”
I sighed. “Tell her I’ll come into the city and meet with her privately. How’s that?”
Phoenix clicked on his computer. “We’re both registered for art appreciation unless you hate that.”
“Perfect.” It really was. I was going to finish high school. That seemed like exactly what I should be doing. I nudged Phoenix, “Aren’t we here so you can find where you were held and make peace with it?”
He leaned back. “I don’t know that I am ever going to make peace with it. But, we are here to find it. Once we find it, maybe we stay. Just stay and finish things and then figure out what to do after that.”
We hadn’t discussed that. Not at all. Phoenix had just sort of thought we’d stay here? The piano playing stopped, and Barrett rose to come over to us. The twins were staring at him, rapt attention on their faces. I wasn’t the only one who noted what Phoenix had just said.
Okay. I had to speak first. “You hate it here. I spent less than a week the last time I was here. I… I don’t know if I’m ready to commit to making this full time.”
Was that fair? I hoped I wasn’t being a bitch. Or ungrateful. Or problematic.
“I don’t want to hate it here anymore.” Phoenix sipped his coffee. “Was there bacon? Anyway, I’m working on not hating it here.”
Yes, I could walk to the fridge. “So you want to stay to… prove something? To show the world or whatever that you aren’t afraid of this place?’
“I hate that word. Ooh, maybe that’s something I should talk to Sam about. Afraid. Look at you making connections I wasn’t making. Love you so much, Red. Um, yes, that.” He drummed his fingers on the counter. “Don’t make bacon. I have to run out. Actually, three of us have to run out.”
I turned to look at him. “What?”
“I have to run out.” He started again. Yes, that I had garnered. I interrupted him. “Where do you have to go? Three of you?”
Julian walked over and put his arm around me. “We have a surprise for you. Phoenix, Jeremy, and Barrett are going for a drive. They’ll be back. I am staying here with you.” He kissed my cheek. “I won the coin toss.”
Phoenix grinned before he groaned. “But… but I was kidnapped. I need to stay here with Alatheia. I need it.”
Jeremy tossed a napkin at him. “Sorry, that isn’t working today.”
Phoenix grinned broader. “A guy has to try.”
“Hold on. Where are you going? What surprise?”
Jeremy leaned against the wall. “If we told you then it wouldn’t be a surprise, now would it?”
If Jeremy was going it was a present they were getting. He was the absolutely official master of gift giving.
I swallowed. “Guys, I don’t need gifts.”
“Sure you do.” Barrett stretched. “We all need gifts, and I think giving you gifts is the best thing in the world. So you do.”
I fingered my ear lobe. There was still phantom pain from when I had to take off the sapphires Phoenix gave me, and I looked for my pearls all the time that Jer had gifted me. “What if someone takes whatever you give me? When that happens… I…”
Julian kissed my cheek, lingering there. “No one is taking anything from you. Not ever again. And… I don’t want to get your hopes up…”
“Jules.” Jeremy interrupted. “The point of not getting her hopes up is to, you know, not get her hopes up.”
What was going on? Phoenix laughed. “We are a pathetic bunch. Now she knows there is something we’re not telling her. It’s a good thing. Both your present and this thing we’re not talking about are good things. So don’t worry. If that is possible.”
As the other three exited the room, grumbling at each other, Jules shook his head and squeezed my hand. “Want me to tell you? He doesn’t get to tell me what to say or do. Even if he thinks he does. Jeremy is not in charge. You’re in charge. Want to know?”
I swallowed. “If it… No. But do me a favor, if it’s something that isn’t going to happen, like you know for sure that it isn’t going to happen, tell me then what it was?”
I wasn’t even sure I had said that coherently, but Julian nodded.
He must speak and understand Alatheia. I was grateful for that.
More than grateful. As the front door closed, indicating that the three of them had gone on an errand to buy me something they just thought I had to have because they loved me, I smiled at Julian.
We were alone. I was so rarely alone with any of them—and I wasn’t complaining—but I wanted to take advantage. I leaned over to kiss him. Jules caught his breath. He hadn’t anticipated I was going to do that.
“Wow.” His voice was low. “I love when you kiss me. When you spontaneously kiss me.”
I took his hand, leading him over to the couch. “Maybe we can do more of that.”
“Kiss? Yes.” He took over dragging me against him when we sat down on the couch to really kiss me.
He had so much more experience with this stuff than me, and that was fine, I wasn’t going to think about it, particularly right then, but he could kiss like he had been born to do it.
And if I was being romantic—and right then I was—I might think that he had been born to kiss me.
I was going with that.
His lips were smooth and warm. I sighed against him, and he deepened our embrace. Julian would never push me on anything physical, which was wonderful, but it really left it to me to take things to the next level if that was what I wanted. And it was what I wanted. Right then.
I pulled back to look at him. Maybe it wasn’t what he would want. I was pretty beat up still, quasi-bald, and a mess. Still, there was nothing I could do but ask.
“Julian Lent.” I had no idea why I started this exchange by saying his full name. Well, sort of his full name.
“Alatheia Winder.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Sorry. You did it, so I thought maybe that was something we were doing.”
I loved him so fucking much. “Actually, what is your middle name? That’s not the point of this conversation, but I realized I don’t know. I don’t know any of your middle names. Unless your parents weren’t middle name people.”
He touched his chest. “I’m Julian Emerson Lent.
” He smiled. “Very literary. I know. My mom just liked it. But maybe it made me a writer. My dear twin who thinks he is in charge is Jeremy Nathaniel Lent. After Gran’s oldest husband.
Barrett Heath. Some actor Mom liked. Phoenix Alaric.
That’s from some show about vampires? That was on at the time.
” He kissed my mouth, gently. “And you are Jayne Alatheia Winder.”
“So weird. Never knew that I was Jayne.” I grinned. “We sort of match, don’t we? Julian and Jayne.”
He leaned back. “Love it.”
“Okay so back to the main point?” I swallowed. “Maybe I’m nervous.”
“To talk about something with me? I hope not. Come on, Baby. Whatever it is, just say it, I love you and your every thought.”
“We’re alone. Maybe we could… get naked together and see how things go. That is if you have a condom.” There I said it. Badly. But I did.
He smoothed my hair off my forehead. “Sounds like a great idea. You. Naked. Seeing how things go. And yes I do but there’s no rush to that if you don’t want to…”
I shook my head. “I want to. With you. For my official first time. If you’re…”
He kissed me. I guessed he was.