24. Love
24
Love
Daisy
“Are you okay?” Lucy asks for the third time this morning. “You look terrible.”
I muster a weak smile. “Gee, thanks.”
“It’s just a bit of honesty,” she says, sipping her coffee. “I’d never lie to my best friend.”
I close my eyes. “Yeah. Who knew honesty was still a thing, huh?”
She winces, putting her mug down. “I’m sorry. I didn’t—”
“It ’s fine.” I wave a hand in dismissal. “I’ll get over it, eventually.”
I force myself to eat a bite of my bagel, then wash it down with a sip of tea. “It just sucks, you know? I finally allow myself to fall for someone, and I end up with another liar. Why do I always choose the wrong guy? Is it a curse some evil witch placed on me when I was born or something?”
She places her hand on mine. “Of course not. Daisy, we’re only talking about two relationships here. They don’t define your entire love life. Though I have to say, it doesn’t seem fair to put Asher in the same basket as Todd.”
I scoff. “Why not? They both played me. The only difference is Todd did it for years.” Yet somehow, Asher’s betrayal hurts the most. But that makes sense, in a way. The wound is still fresh, and I honestly didn’t see it coming. Todd and I had been on a rocky path for a long time—we were more off than on.
Lucy scrunches her face. “Um, not really. Todd’s a malignant narcissist psycho who took advantage of your kindness without remorse, and who always put the blame on you,” she retorts before taking a breath. “Asher made a mistake, and he apologized for it. One man is garbage, the other is just human.”
I let out a groan of frustration. “Not you too, Luce. Why is everyone so quick to forgive him? Why is no one on my side?”
She squeezes my hand. “I am on your side, but Evan is right. What you had with Asher was special. I saw it in the way you talked about him, the way you acted, and how you smiled more. I’d never seen you that happy, Daisy. And I’ve known you for almost ten years now. Heck, I’ve lived with you for two.” She stands up. “Listen, I’m late for work, but we can talk about it more tonight, okay?”
I nod, swallowing hard as I scramble to make sense of it all. Could it really have just been a mistake? He did own up to it. He didn’t get caught up in his lie like Todd did so many times. He probably could have gone back to his life in New York without ever telling a soul.
Lucy’s right about one thing. It does feel different with Asher. And I was the happiest I’ve ever been when we were together—but can I forgive him? Could I ever trust him again?
My heart leaps at the picture that springs to my mind. Asher and me, walking hand in hand in the park, laughing and smiling. Happy. There’s nothing I want more, if I’m being honest. Nothing that makes my heart beat faster and my blood pump with more fervor.
I bite my lip in thought. I’m a nice person, and I always tend to see the best in people. But look where it got me. Even if I could choose to forgive him, should I?
I enter through the gate of the Alfred Caldwell Lily Pool and stroll along the lush path, hoping to gain some clarity. There’s hardly anyone here this early, and the scent of fresh grass paired with the clean smell of the water instantly puts me at ease. I amble around the pool, recalling the last time I was here with Asher. The thought triggers an avalanche of memories, and all the happy moments we shared these last two weeks resurface. My chest tightens as I dwell on the memories. Those were some of the best days of my life, and I’d do anything to get them back. But can it really be that easy? Is forgiveness the key to my happiness?
“Daisy,” a rumbling voice calls, startling me. I turn around and almost twist my ankle on the limestone pathway.
Asher is here, sitting on a stone formation. His face is sallow and drawn, and his eyes are bloodshot. My heart breaks, then lurches, constricts, and my stomach flips. That’s how Asher affects me. They ’re not all bad emotions. Just complicated ones.
“What are you doing here?” he breathes out, not moving.
I tilt my head to the side. “I could ask you the same question. This is my own private thinking spot, after all.” I offer a weak smile, but he closes his eyes.
“Right.” He stands up, wiping his hands on his jeans. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave you with your thoughts.”
I want to tell him to stay, but my throat closes up, and my mouth is so dry it hurts.
“For what it’s worth, I really am sorry,” he says. His caramel eyes fall on me, full of regret and despair. “For everything.”
With that, he turns around and starts walking away. I sit down, my legs suddenly weak. Watching him leave feels like drowning, and I’m desperate to come up for air. But I’m also fighting my brain and the wounds of my past. Todd. Asher. How they both hurt me. Then, I recall the depth of the pain in Asher’s eyes. How his regret is consuming him, and how different from Todd that makes him. As Evan’s and Lucy’s words collide in my brain, I let out a long breath of air.
“I know,” I say, loud enough for him to hear. He stops and turns around, his face wrought with confusion. “I know,” I repeat, “how sorry you are.”
“You do?” he says. The words come out strangled, but I hear them anyway.
I nod. “I see it clearly now.”
He shuffles back toward me. “It’s all I can think about, Daisy. If only I could erase everything and start all over again, I would. Trust me. This was the biggest mistake of my life.”
The sincerity in his eyes goes straight to my heart, and my chest feels just a little bit lighter. “Can I ask you something?”
“Absolutely,” he says, his eyes glassy as they bore into mine.
“When we kissed that night . . . Was that real? Did you mean all those things you said?”
“Of course, Daisy.” His gaze is raw, urgent. “You’re the most extraordinary woman I’ve ever met. You’ve made my heart beat harder than it ever has. Made me feel emotions I didn’t even think existed. Helped me reconnect with my family. All of that in two short weeks.”
My heart rattles until it’s pressing against my ribcage. “Really?”
“Never doubt any of that,” he says, taking my hand and sitting next to me. Millions of tingles erupt over my skin, making their way to the back of my neck. “You mean so much to me. More than you could ever know. I may have misrepresented myself, but everything we shared, everything I told you about me or my feelings for you was the truth. That’s why I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn’t betray you.”
I swallow hard, gazing at the tranquility of the lily pool as a battle rages in my brain.
“I promise you, this is the truth,” he says, squeezing my hand. “I know it doesn’t mean much coming from me now, but I hope one day you’ll believe it.”
Inhaling deeply, I look at him, and Jan’s words echo in my mind. Forgiveness is a choice. She’s right, and this one can lead me to everything I’ve ever wanted. “I think I’m ready to believe it now.”
His eyebrows draw together, a hint of hope flickering in his soft brown eyes. “You are?”
I smile weakly, my chest suddenly ten times lighter. And that’s how I know this is the right decision. “You hurt me, but I don’t believe you’re that kind of man. I know you regret it.”
He rakes a hand through his hair. “You have no idea.”
“But I also think what we have is special,” I say. “And I want to see where it goes. So, I forgive you, Asher.”
His hand flies to his chest, landing right on his heart. “Are you sure?” he breathes.
I nod. “You made a mistake. But it doesn’t define you.” I really believe that. Good people can make bad decisions. Good people also give second chances when they’re deserved.
“I messed up. But I’ll never deceive you again, Daisy. Ever,” he says, caressing my cheek. “You’re way too precious for that.”
My heart booms in my chest, the weight fully lifted, and it’s the best feeling ever.
“Thank you for giving me a second chance.”
His forehead bumps with mine, and my breathing grows ragged. How I missed his touch. His scent. Not wanting to lose any more time, I close the gap between us. Our lips brush, slowly at first, like they’re getting used to each other again. But I want more. I need more. I clasp my arms around his neck, and he pulls me onto his lap.
The gentle rustle of leaves and the soft murmur of the lily pool surround us, but all I can focus on is Asher. His hands grip my waist, grounding me in the moment. Holding me, as if he’s afraid I might disappear. His lips are warm, familiar, yet cha rged with a newfound intensity. A promise that he’ll never let me down again.
“So, Chicago wins, huh?” I tease, pulling back just a notch as I play with the collar of his shirt.
He nuzzles his nose in my neck, kissing it before tracing his lips up to the delicate spot behind my ear, making me giggle.
“Yes,” he says before kissing me long and hard again. “Chicago wins.”