Chapter 11
Caitlin thrust a breeze-blown curl away from her cheek with the back of one dirt-smudged hand, scarce noticing the sting of the tiny cuts and blisters that had appeared after so many hours' work.
Satisfaction warmed her far more than the sunshine that slanted over the rear wall of the castle to throw a yellow-gold mantle over her aching shoulders.
She had spent half the night before staring into the darkness, trying to think how she should begin to keep her vow, awaken the slumbering Castle Daire from its dark spell of hostility and neglect. The task had seemed too insurmountable for even the most determined young woman to conquer.
She had plotted and planned and prayed, discarding one strategy after another, until she heard the tender echo of Reverend Mother's voice. A garden, Caitlin. A garden is God's promise of a future waiting to be born.
That promise had driven her from her bed filled with purpose.
The instant Niall rode out on another hunt, she had attacked the godforsaken plot of ground that had once grown food for Castle Daire, delighting in the familiar cling of rich, damp earth on her hands, savoring the memory of sweet summer days at the abbey.
Hours she had spent in the gardens there, building fairy forts out of pebbles and sucking on sweet stems of herbs to learn the secrets of their healing power.
As the warmth of earth and sky penetrated Caitlin's raw heart, the misery of the past week melted away, leaving in its place a fragile whisper of the contentment she had doubted she would ever feel again.
It was true, what the abbess had said, Caitlin thought, tucking rich earth around the roots of a clump of rosemary.
A garden was life. Once Niall saw things growing, perhaps he would feel the tug of his own roots in Daire's soil and realize he could not abandon this place any more than Fiona or his mother could.
Of course, Caitlin thought with a wry grin, it was probably a good thing he was off riding somewhere at the moment. One look at the forest of weeds yet to pull, and the champion of Glenfluirse might turn and flee the other way.
Her smile died. He was doing his best to be quit of the castle as swiftly as possible.
It would take a miracle to keep him at Daire, no matter what magic she managed to work in this tiny bit of ground.
She struggled against a wave of sadness.
In the end, it would be Niall's choice whether he turned his back on his home and family or whether he realized what a treasure he had nearly lost before it was too late.
All she could do was try her best to make things right.
She strained to feel some sense of triumph as she uncovered another clump of parsnips run wild across the garden, the delicious roots all but buried by weeds. With the meat Niall had provided, there would be a savory meal tonight. But she could not help wondering if he would even notice.
A long, thin shadow moved across her, and she jumped, guilty as a child caught in some mischief. She looked up to find Fiona scowling down at her, arms folded across her narrow chest. In that instant, the girl had never looked more like her difficult brother.
"You are bloodying your fingers to no purpose." The girl made a face. "That ground has grown nothing but weeds for as long as I can remember."
Caitlin felt sympathy for the girl, so uncomfortable in her own skin, stubbornly determined not to show tenderness or fear.
"But you are wrong," Caitlin challenged.
"Look at this." She closed her hand around the green spears of leaves then pulled up a crisp, white root.
She brushed it off with her hand. "Take a bite. "
Fiona regarded the plant as if it might bite her instead.
Caitlin knew exactly how to wipe away Fiona's reluctance. "Do not be afraid," she said.
Hot color flooded the girl's face, her brow creasing with belligerence. She snatched the root, crunching it between her teeth. Her eyes widened in surprise, then pleasure. "Wh-what is this?"
"It is a leek. There are parsnips and rosemary, carrots and yarrow and heaven knows what else still growing here among the weeds. With no one to tend them, they have run a little wild, but with some work, I think we can tame them back into proper order."
Fiona munched, a troubled scowl darkening her features. "You mean to tell me that there was food to eat here all the time, but I was too stupid to know it?"
Fiona's shoulders bowed, as if the girl had failed some vital test.
"How could you have known what grew here?" Caitlin soothed. "The crofters and servants left. No one ever taught you."
"I thought it was all gone." Fiona choked on the words. "I stole most of what we ate."
Caitlin’s eyes stung. All those years she had been the cherished treasure of the abbey, Fiona had been foraging like a wild animal to stay alive. No wonder the girl was rough-edged and bitter.
What would happen if Fiona suddenly had someone to take care of her? What remarkable kind of woman might she blossom into? Someone strong and rare because of all she had triumphed over.
If Caitlin were going to stay at Daire, she would find a way to weave the softest cloth, dye it the green of a summer meadow to accent Fiona's eyes.
She would stitch something lovely to surprise Fiona and delight in the girl's confusion and pleasure.
For when Fiona had seen the lovely embroidery on the leine Reverend Mother had made, Caitlin sensed Fiona's secret yearnings for the pretty, the feminine, things that had been as far beyond her touch as the moon.
But Caitlin would be in far off Iona if Niall had his way, and no one else would suspect Fiona's secret. Eyes burning with regret, Caitlin forced herself to smile.
"If I could just wander about a bit, I am certain I could bring back even more things to grow. Sister Luca used to take me with her into the woods sometimes, searching for plants in the wild. You could have a proper garden in no time."
Hope sparked in Fiona's eyes, then burst into pure eagerness. "Go now. I can root out these weeds if you just show me what to do."
Caitlin grimaced. "Niall ordered me to stay here. He fears what might happen if anyone sees me."
"Niall frets like an old woman!" Fiona scoffed.
"Put yourself in my hands, and I can make certain Conn himself would not notice you even if he tripped over your nose!
As for my brother, he will never have to know of your adventure, and Mother and I would have...
we would have things to eat once you are gone.
They would grow forever, would they not? Like these plants you uncovered?"
"I could give them a good start, teach you how to care for them. I am certain they would grow. But—" Caitlin shook her head. "I cannot. Niall has already risked so much for me. If I disobeyed him—"
"He is not master of Daire any longer!" Fiona pushed out her lower lip. "Niall may try to order you about, he might even think he can drag Mother and me away from Daire, but he cannot."
"Fiona, he fears for you and for your mother. He only wants to see you safe."
"Humph! He cared little enough what happened to us before.
Whatever he says, I know the truth. He only wants to wash his hands of us again.
He can ride away at once and never look back for all I care.
I will stay here until I die." A canny expression curled her mouth.
"Of course, if you would go search for plants for the garden, at least I would not die of starvation. "
"Fiona!" Caitlin groaned, but she could not stifle a giggle. "I cannot guess which you desire most—the plants or the pleasure of getting me to defy your brother's orders."
"Both," Fiona admitted with a grin. "I would go into the hills myself if I knew what to search for, but it would be hopeless, even if you tried to describe what I should look for. Knowing Niall, he will be gone until nightfall. I beg of you, Caitlin. Do this for my mother. Do this for me."
How often had Niall's sister asked anyone for help?
Caitlin stared into the girl's avid face, saw there a hint of what Fiona might have been if years of pain and disillusionment and hardship were washed away.
A bundle of enthusiasm, willfulness, quick intelligence, and fierce loyalty.
The loyalty she showed to her ailing mother, to the land of Daire. Loyalty she once gave to her brother.
She had had so little help in her seventeen years. Surely, it was the greater sin not to help her this once, Caitlin thought. She would be careful. Very careful.
"I surrender," Caitlin said at last, standing up and brushing the dirt off her hands. "You promised you could disguise me somehow. Do you really believe so?"
Fiona grasped her hand, dragging her toward the castle. "I can make you disappear until even Niall could not find you!"
An hour later, breasts bound, hair tucked beneath one of Fiona's billowy shirts, face artistically smeared with dirt, Caitlin left Castle Daire behind.
But as she roamed the deserted hills, a small spade and a handful of empty cloth sacks slung over her shoulders, she found something she had not expected.
Freedom, pleasure, a brief escape from the grinding tension of the past days.
Fiona was right, Caitlin thought as she stared with satisfaction at her reflection in a silvery stream. She looked nothing like herself. Caitlin of the Lilies, hunted by Conn, protected by Niall of the Seven Betrayals, had vanished. In her place was a slender, grubby-cheeked boy.
She would take the unexpected gift of this sunny afternoon and be a child again, enchanted by wide blue skies, gladdened by lush green fields jeweled with rainbow-hued flowers, certain no harm could befall her.
Something was wrong.