Chapter 16 #2
She shuddered, moving through the dreaded paces in her imagination as she had all that endless afternoon.
She had dreamed of running into Niall's arms when he returned, laughing and loving and welcoming him home as she had vowed to.
Show her beloved warrior he was not alone.
But now she would meet Niall at the doorway, tell him what had transpired with that vile cur Gormley.
And in so doing, she would put an end to any hopes or dreams she might have, impossible as they had been.
For there was little doubt in Caitlin's mind what Niall would do once he learned what had happened. He would sweep them all away from Daire like a hound snatching his flock from beneath the jaws of a wolf pack. He would carry her far away, leave her behind.
Unless... unless she kept her secret, swore Fiona to silence. Unless she told him she had lost the bracelet somewhere in her wanderings and with that lie placed all of Daire in horrible danger because of her own selfish needs.
Caitlin blinked back tears. Nay. Better to be honest. From the beginning, Niall had intended to leave her behind, had he not?
On that enchanted night he had first kissed her, he had agreed to attempt to mend his relationship with his sister, not reclaim his family.
He had promised to give his mother some happiness, not take his place again as her son.
And he had come to Caitlin's bed to share physical passion with her, not to give the love she so craved.
She was the one who had longed for more, clung to false hopes, stubbornly refusing to imagine what it would be like when the game was done and she was left alone.
Shivering, she paced toward the open door, the wind brushing wisps of curls across cheeks wet with unbidden tears. She dashed them away then wrapped her arms about her middle, pretending it was Niall who held her. She imagined that time could stand still, everything remain as it was.
But it seemed the fates were jealous of even this short, stolen time. Hoof beats drummed nearer, the familiar if curiously slow approach of Niall's horse.
Swallowing hard, she stood and watched him shape-shift from sound to shadow to man. His breeze-tossed mane whisked about the hard square of his jaw. One strong hand gripped the reins, the other cradled something against him, a bulky object draped gently across the horse's withers.
But it was his face that struck Caitlin to the heart.
Even in the twilight, it glowed with brighter than any sun.
His smile shone, wide and white and wonderful, with a boyish joy she had never seen in him before.
And his eyes sought her greedily, gratefully, quickened with emotions so deep they stunned her.
"Caitlin!" he shouted out, eager as any youth come home to his heart's desire. "Call Fiona and Mother! See what I have brought you!"
But before she could force her leaden feet to move, his cry brought Aniera hastening out to greet him, Fiona trailing in her wake, eyes glittering hard with defiance.
Fiona grimaced. "Ah, so the great hunter has brought us something to eat before we starve to death. All hail Conn's mighty champion!"
"I bring you something far better than mere food, little sister," Niall called out. He dismounted, gathering the mantle-wrapped bundle carefully in his arms. "I bring you everything you have wished for."
"What I wish should be simple enough to grant, even for you," Fiona muttered. "Merely show me your backside as you leave Daire forever."
Niall laughed, undaunted. "What I bring is for all of us. For you, Fiona. Aye, and you, Mother. And for Caitlin and me as well. Something I have dreamed of but was too afraid to confess."
Caitlin sucked in a deep breath, hating herself for having to speak, to dash the exuberance from Niall's face. "I have something to tell you as well," she began. And I wish to God the telling was over with.
"Whatever it is, it can wait," Niall said, tenderness and passion vibrating in his deep voice. Caitlin's soul wrenched at the beauty of it. "Nothing can be more important than this, mo chroi." Mo chroi, he had said, my heart, the endearment so beautiful it made Caitlin ache.
"Today I rode to the standing stone, seeking answers from the old ones. Do you remember, Mother? How Father taught me?"
Aniera smiled. "Aye. He loved the stone, my Ronan. The power of it, the mystery. It was the stone that blessed our love, your father's and mine. Promised great happiness and great woe." Her voice hushed, her eyes clear for an instant. "The happiness was worth every bit of pain."
"I promise you happiness again, here at Daire, if the three of you will help me to build it," Niall vowed. "A home you can take pride in, Fiona. A son who will strive to be worthy of you, my mother."
"Och, my treasure," Aniera crooned, cupping his cheek in her hand. "Sure, and you have ever been the finest boy in all of Eire."
Niall turned to Caitlin, and her heart lurched at what she saw in his face. His voice roughened, trembled. "And for you, Lily Fair, I offer myself as a husband, if you will have me. Babes to fill your arms if you will let me give them to you."
Every dream she had ever had, more love than she had ever imagined, a lifetime in the arms of the man she adored. The vision shimmered before her, so exquisite she could not bear it. A future born the instant before a cruel twist of fate snatched it away.
In that instant, she wanted to hate Fiona for the recklessness, the defiance that had cost Caitlin so much.
But she could not. She had only to glance into Fiona's sharp features, remember all she had suffered, and know that when the girl had first stolen the cow, Fiona had never guessed what a high price fate would demand for her crime.
"Niall," Caitlin choked out, her heart breaking into tiny pieces. "You do not understand."
Almost reverently, he laid the bundle down on the shadowy turf, then straightened and turned to face her.
"You think I have not seen the dreams in your eyes when I hold you in my arms?
You think I have not wished I had the power to grant you everything your heart longs for?
" Niall's voice broke, and Caitlin was humbled at the honesty in him, the courage of this valiant warrior daring to lay open the bruised reaches of his heart.
"But—but it is too dangerous," Caitlin stammered. "You said—"
"Ah, but do you not know, Caitlin?" Fiona mocked. "My brother is the boldest warrior of Glenfluirse. He laughs in the face of danger."
"I may have to strangle you yet if you do not hold your tongue, wee one. For a moment, only. I do not expect miracles." Niall chuckled with an affection that once would have filled Caitlin with the sweetest gratitude. Now, it burned like a wound.
He turned the full force of his gaze upon Caitlin. "I have sworn to guard you with my life. How better to do that than to keep you at my side? We will take care, lady. You will be safe."
"Nay!" Caitlin moaned, warring inside herself, some dark, selfish beast inside her struggling to break free.
To keep the dreadful secret of Gormley and the fact that the heinous man had seen her.
She wanted this future so badly, loved Niall so much.
Too much to keep a secret that might put him in danger.
She whispered, "I cannot let you sacrifice—"
He stopped her words with his fingertips, then glided his thumb in an awed path across her cheek "Do you not know by now?" he rasped. "Loving you is the purest thing I have ever done."
Loving? Caitlin's heart shattered; even Fiona was suddenly struck dumb. Slowly, Niall sank down onto one knee.
"It is true, lady. From the first moment I awakened to find you at the druid altar, I felt this pull of destiny, fiercer than I had ever known before.
I ignored it, denied it, fought it, until...
" His gaze flashed up to hers, eyes greener than a forest primeval filling with emotion more intense than any she had imagined.
"Let me show you what the old ones sent as a blessing on our union, Caitlin. A gift from your father, mighty Fintan. And from my father as well." Niall shifted the bundle until it lay at her feet, illuminated in the shaft of light spilling from the doorway.
Fiona gasped, pointing at the bundle. "It moved!"
"Aye, Fiona. It lives, and it breathes, and it will grow, just as I hope your trust in me will one day."
Ever so gently, Niall folded back his mantle, revealing what had lain wrapped inside it. Wide brown eyes peered wonderingly at the world from a russet face, the newborn calf giving a plaintive moo.
So stricken she could not speak, Caitlin stared at the tiny animal, Fiona standing, frozen as well. Only Aniera bent down with a mother's instinct, stroking its silky head.
"Poor wee mite. Have you no mother to tend you?" she soothed.
"We will have to nurse her by hand with a rag soaked in milk. But we can raise her." Niall glanced from Caitlin's stricken face to Fiona's reddening one. Confusion creased his brow. "You need not fear. Someone will surely be willing to spare a bit of milk."
Fiona broke first, her wail more child than woman. "How could you do this to me, Niall? Have you not caused me enough grief?"
Niall climbed to his feet. His smile vanished. "What the devil is ailing you? Fiona, can you not see? This is the beginning of Daire's new herd. The herd you dreamed of starting. We will work together, you and I, and between us we will make Daire mightier than ever before."
"Why could you not have brought the calf yesterday?" Fiona cried. "Or a week ago? Now it is too late!" A sob broke from the girl's lips, and she fled into the darkness.
Niall took a step after her. Stopping, he turned to where Caitlin stood, her face white and strained in the light of the newborn moon.
"Aniera."
Niall stiffened. Caitlin's voice did not sound like her own.
"Could you take the calf inside, warm it near the fire? Perhaps soak a bit of oat cake in water and try to feed it?"