Chapter 21 Lily
Lily
Ihardly sleep. Having an overactive imagination is really a disservice in times like this. It’s what got me in trouble with Tristan, over-romanticizing everything between us, and now it’s making me certain that I’m going to get a phone call from my dad and brothers any day now, demanding answers.
And two days later, when my phone buzzes with a text from my father at eight in the morning, my stomach drops.
Dad
Lily, are you available this morning for a group call?
This is it. The consequences of my actions are here to bite me in the butt. I can be brave and face them. I’ve matured. I won’t shrink back like a little girl. I’ll show them that I’m mature enough to decide if I’m going to stay in this tower or not.
I type back.
Me
Yes, I’m free.
Dad
We’ll call you in an hour.
Fantastic. Now I get to fret for an hour over this conversation.
I force myself into the kitchen, feeding my sourdough starter and starting up another batch of cookies, all the while repeating my arguments in my mind.
I’m nineteen years old now. I’m not a little girl. I can leave the tower if I want.
Yeah, this sounds like it’s totally going to convince them.
Five minutes before they’re supposed to call, there’s a knock on my door. “Come in!” I shout.
Agatha walks in, still dressed in her silver cape. The book club’s new pick is a dystopian sci-fi novel, and Agatha is embracing the character wholeheartedly. “Your father said he’s going to call in a few minutes and wants me to be here too.”
“Fabulous,” I mutter, washing my hands in the sink.
Agatha walks over to me and squeezes my shoulder. “I’ll be here by your side, my dear. Don’t worry.”
I look over at her and sigh. “You think he knows about my late-night escapades?”
“It’s possible.” She rubs my back. “But everything will be all right.”
I can’t believe her, but I dry my hands and we walk over to the kitchen table.
I set my phone next to the cracked photo of my family.
When the phone rings, Agatha puts her hand on my leg in solidarity.
I answer the video call and see my dad, Adam, Henry, and even Peter in their own little rectangles.
There’s another man I’ve never seen before, with small round glasses and a bald head.
He looks friendly enough, but I’m unused to seeing strangers.
“Hey, everyone,” I say, hoping I can keep the tremble from my voice. My brothers wave and say hello, and Dad grins. “Lily, my dear. It’s so good to see you.”
Okay, he’s a little happier than I expected. “You, too. And Peter, I haven’t seen you in forever.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” he says with a bashful grin. It’s so hard to be angry with him when I see his smiling face. “You know how these startups can be. Things are so busy.”
“I bet,” I say, but I know the truth. Ryder has told me many times how little work Peter and his friends are actually doing.
“This is Mr. Calhoun,” Adam says. “Lily, he’s the consultant who’s been advising us this whole time.”
“Hi,” I say. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“You as well,” he replies, his voice warm and comforting. “I’m so sorry about these circumstances. I truly hope we can get you out of this lockdown soon.”
“Thank you. That would be great.” He doesn’t seem too bad. Hopefully he won’t be irrationally angry about me playing the piano after all.
“Agatha, lovely to see you,” Dad says.
“You too, brother,” she says cheerfully.
There’s an awkward pause. “So, what’s up?” I ask, eager to get this over with.
“One moment,” Dad says. I see him tapping his screen. “There we go. Bethany’s ready now.”
Bethany’s on this call too?! Why does my lawyer cousin need to be on this call about me sneaking out and playing the piano?
Bethany’s face appears in the final rectangle on my screen. “Hello, family!” she says cheerfully.
We all wave hello. My heart is beating out of my chest and I feel like I’m going to throw up. I’m on the pulpit, waiting for my sentencing.
“Well, I’m so happy to see you all today,” Bethany continues. “Lily, we have great news. Tristan’s team has officially dropped the lawsuit.”
“And,” Adam says, “Mr. Calhoun agreed that with Tristan dropping the suit, you can be safe to leave the tower now.”
Wait. What?
I sit, blinking at the screen, trying to catch up.
They don’t know about Ryder.
I’m not in trouble.
Tristan is leaving me alone.
I’m FREE to leave.
But…am I?
“Lily?” Henry’s gentle voice comes through. “Did you hear Adam?”
I swallow and nod. “I did. I just… Are you sure? It seems strange that Tristan would just disappear. And that you’re just letting me out so fast.”
I’m met with six pairs of wide eyes, and that’s not including Agatha next to me.
Bethany is the first to recover. “I wouldn’t say being locked away for eighteen months is ‘fast.’”
Adam scowls and jumps in. “Lily, I was hesitant to believe it as well. But Mr. Calhoun has reassured me that everything will be fine, and you’re safe to leave.”
I exhale.
Okay. So…I’m free to leave, not just under the cover of night, but whenever I want. That should leave me with exhilaration and relief, but my stomach is swirling with knots of uncertainty.
Still, this isn’t the reaction they’d expect from me. So I paste on a huge grin and say, “This is amazing! I can’t believe it.”
I’ve convinced everyone on the call, because I’m met with huge smiles and Peter holding his hands up and applauding. I look over at Agatha, who has tears in her eyes and a smile on her lips.
“You’re welcome to come home,” Dad says. “I’ve missed you here.”
“Actually,” Mr. Calhoun cuts in, “I believe it would be best for her to stay in Brookhaven. At least for now. Just to keep up some semblance of familiarity, and the town is so small, she’ll likely feel more comfortable there.”
My dad’s face falls, so I tell him, “I’ll make sure to come back as soon as possible. But I agree with Mr. Calhoun. It would be best if I stayed here. I just…haven’t gotten to enjoy Brookhaven yet.” And Ryder’s here, I think but don’t say.
Dad takes it all in stride. “Then we’ll just have to come see you.”
“So I can go outside? Like right now?” I ask.
“Well, let’s wait a day or two,” Mr. Calhoun says. “I want to ensure that Tristan is out of the picture. But I did some research on Brookhaven and saw there’s a flower festival this weekend. Your brothers have mentioned that you enjoyed the festivals in the past.”
“How does that sound, Lily?” Henry asks. “Remember the Harvest Festival?”
“How could I forget?” I ask with a grin, but inside, my stomach twists into even tighter knots.
Old Lily would have loved the flower festival.
The smells, the colors, the promise of spring—although spring isn’t really that far off here in California.
Current Lily, the Lily who has been locked away from the world for months and months, feels apprehensive at the idea of being around that many people at once.
But I’m determined to put on a brave face for everyone. “That sounds great.”
“Perfect,” Dad says. “We’ll all come and enjoy it together.”
“Peter?” I ask. “Any plans to come home soon?”
“Ah.” He scratches the back of his neck. “I don’t know if I can get away any time soon. Sorry, guys. But Lily, I’m really happy for you.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure,” I say with a mock grin.
“We’re looking forward to seeing you on Saturday, Lily,” Adam says.
“You’ll come too?” I ask.
“Of course,” he says, his voice gruff.
“I thought maybe you and Isabelle were too famous to be seen in public now.”
Adam scoffs. “Brookhaven is so small, and they all know me there. It won’t be an issue.” He pauses. “But I’ll call Rufus ahead of time and let him know.”
I nod, feeling all the emotions that have been buried for a year and a half—excitement, nerves, and a touch of anxiety.
I tamp down that last one and clap my hands.
“I’m so excited to see you all!” After a moment’s pause, I add, “And to go outside!” Because if I hadn’t been out at the theater the last few nights, that’s probably the first thing I would have said.
My brothers, father, Mr. Calhoun, and Bethany all smile back at me. Agatha wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me to her. “This is a big day, my dear,” she says.
My eyes fill with tears, and one falls before I can hold it back. I swipe a quick hand under my eye. “Thank you everyone. Thank you so much for everything. And I’m so sorry I’ve caused everyone so much pain.”
Their voices all mix together, a combination of “Please don’t apologize,” with “We love you, Lily,” and “We’ll never let anyone hurt you again,”—that one comes from Adam, of course. But it doesn’t completely remove the guilt I’ve felt for almost two years at the ordeal I’ve put my family through.
I have to make up for it. I’ll do whatever I can to make sure I don’t disappoint them again. Because there’s one glaring absence from this video chat, made clearer from the picture on the table with my phone—our mother.
I’ve often wondered what she would think if she saw us now, the pain I’ve put everyone through and the mess my brothers had to clean up. Would she be disappointed in me?
Would this have even happened if she’d been here?
I don’t dwell on those thoughts, because the video chat is wrapping up. We say our goodbyes, with Peter promising to call more often (even though we know he won’t), and then it’s just me and Agatha.
“This is so exciting,” Agatha says, squeezing me around the shoulders again. “Maybe you should come with me to book club tonight! It’s just a few of us, and we can make it a private affair.”
“I guess I could,” I drawl. I let myself consider the possibility of going out tonight, seeing Agatha’s friends and getting to interact with them.
But then my skin crawls. The questions, the eyes all on me, everything makes me feel like I’m going to throw up.
“I think I’ll just wait until Saturday,” I say. “Maybe I’ll order some new clothes? It’s been a while since I’ve done any shopping, and I’d like to get something new.”
Agatha studies me for a moment. I swear she knows what I’m thinking.
She’s always been able to read between the lines.
Thankfully, she doesn’t address it. “Yes, of course, my dear. Let’s get you something new to wear for Saturday.
” She taps me on the arm and stands. “I’m going grocery shopping. I’ll be back in a bit.”
I wave goodbye, and as she leaves, I take a moment to look around my room.
This room has been my world for the last six months, except for the theater over the last week.
Still, it’s the only place I’ve been allowed to exist in.
To have the world, or at least Brookhaven, opened back up to me is a little terrifying.
I feel like I’m going to be swallowed whole.
But I’ll be fine. This is what I’ve wanted for months. I’ll talk to Ryder about it tonight.
Everything will be fine.