Chapter 22 Ryder
Ryder
Iknow something’s different when I arrive at Lily’s because I’m greeted at the bottom of the stairs by Agatha herself.
“Hello, Ryder,” she says softly, looking up the stairs. “I wanted to speak with you quickly before you see Lily.”
“Is everything all right?” I ask.
She tilts her head from side to side. “In a way, everything is wonderful. I’m sure Lily would like to tell you herself, so I won’t spoil the news. But I want to make sure you keep an eye out for Lily’s best interests.”
“What does that mean?” I ask.
“Dig beneath the surface. She’s hiding some feelings that she won’t express to her brothers or father, and I think she’s afraid to share them with me, as well. But I know she’ll open up to you, if you lead the way.”
I nod, thinking back to how we lay on her floor and listened to music, the way she cried in front of me. I think she knows she’s safe with me. At least, I hope so.
“I won’t keep you any longer,” Agatha says with a wink. “Go see our girl.”
Our girl. Does Agatha know more about my feelings than I thought? I’ve been trying so hard to keep them under the surface.
“Thank you,” I say. I head up the four flights of stairs, wondering what Lily is about to tell me. I knock on the door, and Lily opens it with an oven mitt on one hand, breathless and grinning.
“Hey!” She holds the door open for me, and I step inside. She steps back over to the kitchen, fanning a muffin tray. “I was just finishing up some cupcakes.”
I follow her and take a whiff. “It smells amazing. What flavor tonight?” I ask.
“Red velvet. The frosting is ready, but I need to wait for them to cool.” She pulls the oven mitt off her hand and leans her hip into the counter. “How are you?”
“Good,” I say. I take in the sight of her, long hair braided over her shoulder, all domestic. A momentary flash of a potential future with her hits me hard, but I shake it off, remembering what Agatha said at the bottom of the stairs. “How about you? Anything unusual today?”
She narrows her eyes at me. “What did Agatha tell you?”
Smooth, Ryder. “Nothing in particular. Just that there’d be news.”
Lily chews her bottom lip. “So, it’s good news.” She inhales deeply. “Tristan dropped the lawsuit.”
“Wait, really?” I furrow my brow. For some reason, that’s not what I was expecting. It doesn’t line up with what I know of Tristan Jackson and his ability to hold grudges.
She nods. “He kind of disappeared, I guess. Because of that, his legal team decided to drop the suit.” She takes in a deep breath and pastes on a grin. “So that means I can leave the tower.”
“Like, now? We could leave now and go out in public?”
“Um…” She hesitates, her eyes darting to the balcony, then back to me. “I guess? But I want to, you know, get some new clothes and things. Since I haven’t been outside in a while…publicly, at least. So maybe this weekend, at the flower festival.”
And there it is. The hesitation she’s feeling, exactly what I expected and Agatha hinted at. I step around the counter until I’m right in front of her. She tips her head up to look at me and sucks in a breath.
“Lily,” I say.
She blinks up at me, waiting.
“Are you afraid to leave?”
She holds my gaze for a moment, and I see the tears forming in her eyes, then she gives a small nod.
I swallow hard, fighting the urge to pull her into my arms and wrap her in my security. “You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.”
“I do want to,” she says, her voice small. “But I’m scared.”
“What are you afraid of?”
She glances away, then back at me again.
“I’m not really sure. I don’t think I’m worried about physical danger, but that’s always an issue.
That and the questions. All the people wondering where I’ve been, what I’ve been doing.
I’m sure a lot of them have seen the video.
It was easy to hide away after posting that online, so I haven’t had to deal with the public fallout.
But now everyone knows what happened between me and Tristan.
I can just imagine the whispers and looks I’ll get. ”
“They’ll be curious,” I agree. “You’re not wrong. But I’m sure once you get past the first or second appearance, they’ll move on with their lives.”
“I guess.”
I place my hands on her shoulders and give them a squeeze. “How about if I’m with you? Would that help?”
Her eyes widen. “Well, yes, it would. But my family doesn’t know about you.” Her cheeks turn red, and she clears her throat. “I mean, about us being friends, you know? They’ll ask questions if you’re tagging along with us.”
“Then I’ll stay nearby, but not right there. Trust me, it’s going to be okay.” I let my hands drift down from her shoulders to her hands, and I give them a small squeeze.
I see hope flickering in her eyes. “You promise?”
“I promise.” I pause. “But remember Lily, if you’re not ready to go out, we don’t have to go.”
She gives her head a little shake. “No, I do. I want to go. I want to be brave and face my fears. I want to be around people again. It’s just going to be an adjustment.”
“That’s exactly right.” I look at her eyes, seeing a bit of myself in there after I started having anxiety over doing stunts. A little broken, fearful, and concerned that I wasn’t myself anymore. “Have you thought about therapy?”
“Therapy?” she repeats. “Why?”
I run my hand through my hair. “I only ask because therapy helped me when I started panicking about stunts. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. But therapy was where I learned to manage my panic attacks and keep myself grounded, and maybe it could help you, too.”
She nods, but I’m not sure the words are sinking in. “Yeah, maybe.” She glances down at the cupcakes, and a grin takes over her face, masking her uncertainty. “I bet the cupcakes are cool now!” She pulls away and picks up her piping bag, squeezing frosting all over the cupcakes.
I’m glad she’s smiling, but I can tell she’s hiding her feelings. I don’t want to push therapy on her if she isn’t ready for it, but maybe there’s something else I can do. She said she’s not really afraid of physical danger, but if I can give her some techniques, that might help, too.
“What if I taught you some self-defense?” I ask.
Her eyes dart up to mine. “Really?”
I grin at her. “Yeah. I could just teach you a couple of things to help you get out of a tricky situation. I know that’s not the main thing you’re worried about, but—”
“No, no,” she says quickly, cutting me off. “That would be great.” She puts down the piping bag and steps into the living room, and that’s when I realize I’ll probably need to touch her and hold her to show her how to break out of a dangerous situation.
Oh, crap.