Chapter 31
Ryder
Lily’s in a bad mood.
I can tell how she’s feeling by the type of music she plays. Most nights, except for the first night, she’s been playing slow, beautiful, calming music.
Not tonight.
Tonight, she bangs on the keys, angry notes bursting from the piano on stage.
She wouldn’t say much as we walked from Aram’s restaurant to the theater, just marched to the entrance and waited for me to open the door.
I keep thinking about what happened. How I let go of my self-control when Aram mentioned his nephew as a potential…what? Date? Boyfriend? I don’t even know where he was going with the idea, but it was enough to make my blood boil. I felt myself turn into full caveman mode.
Lily mine. My woman.
But the principle still stands. Lily’s brothers basically told me I would be dead if I tried anything romantic with her.
It’s not just me—it’s Lily in any kind of romantic relationship.
At the same time, Lily has also made it very clear that she’s tired of letting them rule her life, and they don’t know what’s best for her.
So can I trust their opinion? Or do I believe the woman sitting in front of me, whose strength helped her endure the last few years of heartache?
I’m so torn.
“I’m done,” she announces, standing from the piano.
“Already?” I ask. “It’s only been twenty minutes.”
She pushes the bench in. “I know. But I’m done for tonight.”
Yikes. These artistic types can really get moody sometimes. I stand from my seat, sliding my phone into my pocket, and follow her out the door of the theater.
It’s silent for a few minutes as we walk back to Agatha’s house. Suddenly, Lily stops and faces me, pointing a finger in my face.
“You don’t get to decide my love life,” she says.
I stand still, careful not to make any moves or facial expressions that will give me away, but my heart is pounding in my chest. This is the first time we’ve really discussed Lily’s love life, aside from her past with Tristan.
We’ve just pretended it’s nonexistent. But there’s no way she hasn’t felt the electricity crackling between us.
“I’m nineteen years old,” she continues.
“And…yes, I’m ‘only’ nineteen, but I’m an adult.
And I made some stupid decisions in the past—I know I did.
I’m not about to rush into a relationship with the first person who says pretty words and compliments me.
Never again. When I’m ready to date again, I’ll make sure the person I’m with cares about me, and wants me the way I am.
But I don’t need you”—she pushes her finger into my chest—“acting like a big brother when I already have three of those.” She pulls her finger back and pauses.
“Well, really two and a half. Peter doesn’t count. ”
I don’t say anything. I’m afraid if I open my mouth, everything will pour out. All the desire and longing and aching for her. So all I do is nod.
“Okay.” She heaves out a breath and starts walking again. I follow behind her, fighting every urge to pull her in my arms and tell her that she doesn’t need to look for someone who will cherish her and want her the way she is.
Because I’m standing right here.
I’m back at book club.
This time, it’s not for me—although, was last time really for me? Or was it for Rosalie?
Regardless, tonight I’m here for Lily. She wanted to try a night out with a few people, and this small group of elderly ladies seemed like the perfect first attempt.
Tonight, we have the same group from before of Agatha, Suzette, Rosalie, Grace, Gwen, and me, but we’ve now added Lily and another newbie—Lucy, who looks like she’s stuck in the 1950s but can’t be much older than Lily.
Lily sits with a smile painted on her face, but I see her hand tightly gripping Galileo. I want to reach out and rub her arm to help calm her down, but things have been tense and awkward since that night at Aram’s restaurant. Our usual fun banter is a thing of the past.
“Excellent insights, as always,” Agatha says to Gwen, flourishing her metallic silver cape behind her. This week’s book? The Lunar Heir, a futuristic dystopian novel about the next queen of the moon. “Ryder? Anything to add?”
I clear my throat. “I thought it was very moving when Nyssa finally took the throne.”
“Oh?” Agatha raises a brow, and Lily turns her head sharply to me.
“You read the book?” she asks.
“Of course I read the book,” I retort. “That’s what I’ve been reading the last week while you played the piano. Did you read the book?”
“Yes,” she says, a small smile playing on her lips. “And I agree. When Nyssa finally takes the throne and pushes her aunt down the stairs, I cheered.”
“I hope not too loudly,” Agatha mutters.
Lily laughs. “Don’t worry, Aunt. I wasn’t imagining myself as Nyssa. You’re much too kind, and you wouldn’t usurp my throne.”
“So true, my dear,” Agatha replies, squeezing Lily’s knee.
“I’M BACK FROM THE RESTROOM,” Rosalie announces, creaking along in her walker. “WHAT DID I MISS? DID RYDER SAY SOMETHING? RYDER, SAY IT AGAIN.”
I clear my throat. “I just said the ending was very moving,” I say loudly.
“YOU’RE MOVING?!” she cries.
I sigh. “No,” I say loudly and clearly. “I liked the end of the book.”
“AH.” She sits back in her seat. “YES, THAT WAS A VERY EXCELLENT KISS.”
“No, I—”
Her eyes turn dreamy. “THE WAY THE AUTHOR DESCRIBED HIS LIPS AND—”
“Okay, I think that’s all for today!” Gwen cries, standing and clapping a few times. “Let’s have some treats, shall we?”
The women stand and head over to the table where a few cookies and brownies sit. I look over at Lily, who’s still seated in her chair.
“You okay?” I ask her. “Do you want to leave?”
Her hand tightens around Galileo. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me tonight.”
“It’s a few more people than usual. And don’t knock yourself down. It’s not going to be a linear process.”
She nods, opening her hand and looking down at the green sparkling gems in her palm. “I guess.”
I look at the group of ladies. All of them seem immersed in their own conversations, but I catch Lucy looking over at us. Maybe Lily needs to escape from all the prying eyes. “We can go outside and take a breather if you want. Then come back in when you’re ready.”
She eyes me carefully, as if weighing whether she can trust me again. I see the moment she decides, and her eyes soften. “Yeah. That sounds good.”
I hold my hand out to her, and she places her hand in mine.
It’s at this moment that I realize I haven’t held her hand or touched her like this in at least a week.
Just like before, the electricity buzzes through my veins, but I do my best to hide it.
Apparently I don’t do a good job, though.
I pull her to standing, but I pull a little too hard and she comes flush against my chest.
I should back away. I know it. But I stand there, looking down at Lily, holding her close to me and savoring the moment. Her pink lips are parted in surprise, and her eyes are wide but inviting. I can just imagine leaning down and—
“OH, MY!” Rosalie yells from across the room. “LOOKS LIKE WE’RE GOING TO DISCUSS A KISS AFTER ALL!”
That’s all I need to back off. I release Lily’s hand and take three steps back, leaving plenty of room between us, and Lily’s expression shutters.
“No kissing,” I call out. “Sorry to disappoint you, Rosalie. But we’re going outside. Lily needs some air.”
Agatha looks concerned, but I give her an “everything’s fine” wave, and she nods in understanding. Lily heads to the door and I follow behind, ever her shadow.