6. Connor
There was a tension in the air that I wasn’t sure I liked. No, scratch that. I knew I hated it. I’d wanted to go for a softer approach, gauge the situation. Go on a fact-finding mission, but Zeke rushed ahead, as he tended to do. There was no turning back now. Our feelings were out in the open, and it was Micah’s move.
My stomach clenched when I realized how awkward the rest of this weekend was going to be if Micah said no. We weren’t kidding when we told him that we no longer cared what Hudson thought. Yes, he was still our best friend, but I sincerely doubted that he’d be angry for long. The risk was worth it. Micah was worth it.
Micah was worth everything. I couldn’t say that I’d always had feelings for him. Honestly, they snuck up on me. But I’d always liked who he was as a person, even when he was younger. I couldn’t say that we had a ton in common, but we always found something to talk about regardless. Zeke and I had spent a lot of time with Hudson’s family over the years, and I had many fond memories with Micah.
Micah had always been in my peripheral, and I’d wanted so badly to turn and focus on him, to give him the attention he deserved, but one thing or another prevented me. First, there was that he’s younger. Only a few years, but it was enough at first. Then there was Zeke. It took the two of us a while to build a strong enough foundation where we could deal with heavy subjects like bringing a third person into our relationship. Of course, Hudson was an obstacle, but frankly, at this point he was more of an excuse than a roadblock.
All that stood between us now was a bit of water and the weight of Micah’s decision. He looked at me and bit his lip.
“Maybe I should sleep on it,” he said.
I did my best to keep my face neutral. There was no way I wanted to influence him by pouting or throwing a tantrum. Though both options were tempting at the moment because of the disappointment that coursed through me.
Micah shifted away and gave us a sad smile. “I’m going to go inside and get dressed. Maybe eat some peanut butter and read a book. You two just pretend I’m not here.”
Micah climbed out of the water and scrambled for the back door. Steam poured off his body, and I couldn’t stop myself from admiring the way his briefs clung to his ass. When the door shut, I finally allowed myself to slump down, sinking under the weight of my disappointment.
“Are you mad?” Zeke shifted closer, sitting next to me he draped his legs over mine and wound his arms around my neck. In return, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer.
“No, Zeke, I’m not mad.”
“I rushed him.”
“You told him the truth. I’d still be sitting here writing pro and con lists in my head, weighing every option and trying to plan for every outcome. Sometimes action is better than inaction.”
Zeke snorted softly, burying his head in the curve of my neck. “Spoken like a true lawyer.”
“I can’t help it.”
“I love that you can’t. You’re so smart and put together. Sometimes I don’t know what you’re doing with a disaster like me.”
I pinched Zeke’s side, not hard but enough to make him jump. “That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about. And he’s not a disaster. He’s creative and passionate. He has huge, wonderful ideas. He dreams big, and I love that about him.”
Sometimes Zeke’s worst enemy was himself. I did my best to boost his confidence, to give him compliments and tell him how much he meant to me, but growing up, Zeke’s family hadn’t been the best. They certainly wouldn’t win parent-of-the-year awards. Not everything could be blamed on a bad childhood, but when you grew up hearing your parents talk shit about you, it tended to leave a mark.
Zeke let out a big sigh, but I felt him relax into me.
“I think we have a chance.” He didn’t sound convinced, but I didn’t point that out.
“I think we do, too.”
After a few minutes, Zeke reached over and turned the jets off. The world plunged into a silence thick and loud. Zeke let out a sigh and moved back into my arms, this time straddling me. Our noses brushed and I closed my eyes.
The feeling of Zeke pressed against me, hard and eager, made my blood pump.
“I don’t want to get carried away with Micah here, now that he knows what we want, but I’d very much like to make out with you.” Zeke placed a kiss against the corner of my mouth. Shivers crawled up my spine when he sank his hands into my hair and tugged.
A groan tore out of me when he sealed our lips together, slanting his mouth over mine, grinding into me as he teased my lips apart and licked his way into my mouth. Kissing Zeke was easily one of my favorite pastimes. It was easy for me to forget the world when all I could think about was the shape of him pressed against me and the taste of him on my tongue. The eagerness that he came at me with had never waned over the years. He wanted me just as much now as he did that first time we kissed. I could feel it in the barely restrained desperation, the vigor in which he kissed me, like he’d die if he stopped.
Time fell away, and eventually Zeke’s kisses slowed. My head swam when he pulled back, and he looked at me, his brow furrowing in concern. “I think we’ve overstayed our welcome in the hot tub, love. We should go inside.”
“You’re probably right.”
Zeke stood, his erection bobbing in front of him, and he grimaced. “Well, there’s no hiding that.” Zeke put his hands on his hips and stared down at his dick as if it was a problem that needed to be solved.
“He’s a grown man. He’s seen dicks before. It’ll be fine. I left towels by the door. We can rush inside and cover up.”
Zeke flung his leg over the edge of the hot tub and climbed out. “Holy shit, that’s cold.” He rushed for the back door and flung himself inside. The frigid air was even worse when I climbed out of the water. I heaved the lid back over the hot tub to keep the snow out and hurried into the house. Zeke stood wrapped in a towel, his teeth chattering together.
“Being in the hot tub was amazing. Coming back out sucked.” Zeke trembled again as he scrubbed himself dry quickly and efficiently, making sure he kept his back turned to Micah, who sat by the fire with a jar of peanut butter and a spoon.
Micah had glasses on and an open book in front of him. His hair was mussed and he had a blanket draped over his shoulders. It was so cozy and domestic that I couldn’t help but smile briefly before tugging my gaze away. I was still naked except for a towel and watching him suck peanut butter off a spoon wasn’t helping my erection go away.
I stepped back into my sleep pants and went to the bedroom where our luggage was stored to pull on a long-sleeve shirt. Taking a page from Micah’s book, I grabbed an extra quilt from the foot of the bed and went back out to the living room. It was still hours until bedtime and I wasn’t about to hide away in the bedroom and pout.
“I’m making hot chocolate, babe. Do you want some?” Zeke asked as he puttered around in the kitchen.
“If you spike it, sure.” I glanced at the back door. “Shit, we left the wine glasses outside.”
Zeke was halfway to the door, shoving his feet into boots before I could blink. “I’ll get them. You stay inside where it’s warm.” He darted out the door and into the snow.
“Are you okay?” Micah asked, his voice smaller and more unsure than I’d ever heard it.
Was I okay? Yes. Will I be okay in the future? Also, yes. But I was still equal parts disappointed and hopeful. I didn’t want to guilt Micah into anything by spilling my messy emotions everywhere, so I took up residence on the far end of the couch.
“I’m okay.” I eyed his jar of peanut butter and frowned. “Are you really going to eat the whole jar?”
Micah shrugged and dug another modest spoonful out. “Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, it can’t come home with me.”
“It’s nice of you to sacrifice your love of peanut butter for your roommate’s sake.”
“Any decent person would do the same.”
The back door opened and closed, and Zeke came inside carrying the wine glasses we’d left outside. He put them in the sink and checked on the kettle.
“It’s snowing like a bitch out there,” he said. “Who knows when the roads will open again.” He busied himself getting cups ready while he waited for the water to boil. He radiated nervous energy as he tried to keep his gaze from darting back to Micah every ten seconds.
It struck me how cute Zeke was when he was nervous. Micah must have agreed, because his gaze cut away from Zeke and he looked at me, cheeks turning pink.
Maybe there was more hope than I thought. I shifted closer to Micah. “He’s nervous,” I told Micah, keeping my voice down.
Micah looked at me and nodded. “I know. He’s jittery.” Micah popped the spoon of peanut butter into his mouth. I’d never been jealous of a spoon before, but I wanted to yank it out of his mouth and toss it aside and claim Micah for my own.
“No matter what your answer is, Micah, we’re still going to be your friends. We’re still going to come around for family dinners and holidays. We’re still going to be in your life. Saying no won’t chase us away.”
Micah pulled the spoon out of his mouth. He screwed the lid back on the jar and put both the jar and spoon aside. Zeke arrived, carrying a tray with three mugs of hot chocolate and a bag of marshmallows. I squinted at the presence of the shish kabob skewers that were kept in the cabin for summertime barbeques.
“What are you doing with those?” I asked Zeke. He grinned at me and tore the bag of marshmallows open. He slid a marshmallow on the end of it and offered it to Micah with a hopeful expression on his face. “Do you want to toast marshmallows with me?”
In the pause between question and answer, hope swelled big and bright. Unable to contain it, I let myself believe that this would work out.
Micah nodded and reached for the skewer.
And everything went dark.