Chapter 44
44
VIOLET
It’s been four long days of learning, Lincoln avoiding me, car hunting, and I’m still yet to figure out what these Scottish people are saying half the time. They talk so fast sometimes, and I’ve had to ask a few of my staff members to slow down.
I’ve met several of the girls from America; they are here on a hotel exchange program the hotel has a partnership with, so that’s been wonderful, and I’ve also met a couple of local girls who are around my age too who said they would love to take me for a night out. Apparently, there is only one nightclub in town, The Vault, and next weekend is ladies’ night. Sounds like fun.
Laying on my side, I stare out into the night sky.
He didn’t come to bed with me again tonight. His bed.
Instead, he’s currently sleeping in the room across the hall. Again.
This might all have been a big mistake.
Moving to Scotland was an easy but huge decision for me. Knox and I sat down for several hours, and then he made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. It made sense .
Now I’m not so sure.
Lincoln doesn’t exactly seem all that happy to see me either.
I’m guessing if someone moved into my house uninvited, I would feel the same. A smirk pulls my lips, remembering his look of horror as I entered his hallway with Pom-pom.
Best. Moment. Ever.
I love him.
Now I am here, and all I’ve wanted is for him to wrap his loving arms around me and tell me he loves me too.
But he’s shut down.
His barbed-wire fence is high and, trust me, I got the message. Please keep out.
It was kind of fun when Eva, Eden, and Ella all helped me move in. I was nervous and had serious doubts whether our plan would work out but championed through it, even when my nerves kept shimmying, trying to stop me.
Hunter and Fraser assembled a new dresser for me too. I’d like to say it feels like home, but it’s not.
Although Lincoln’s place is very homey compared to my beach house, I still feel alone.
My favorite part of the house is the coal fire in the living room. I can see myself sitting around the oversized white marble fireplace all winter. That’s if I am still here.
The photographs Lincoln showed me all those weeks ago during our first date didn’t do Castleview Cove justice.
The town is stunning, but I have yet to visit the castle or the ice cream shop, and I’m desperate to walk the sweeping beach and the pier with Pom-pom because I was in hiding from Lincoln for a few days, then I jumped straight into work. I’m making that my priority at the weekend.
But what I have seen of Castleview is beautiful and green. Everything is very, very vibrant green and the air is pure and clean. It’s wonderful.
Lincoln lives within his father’s walled estate that appears to go on for miles. Knox even has a custom-built ten-car garage full of supercars off to the side of his Victorian nine-bedroom mansion.
The street I now live on is called Cherry Gardens Lane. It couldn’t sound quainter if it tried.
Knox also has a pond full of koi carp, which Pom-pom has become fascinated with. He sat on the edge of the grass for twenty minutes yesterday, tipping his head back and forth; it was very cute, and luckily there is thick safety netting to prevent anything going in or out. Perfect for keeping small Pomeranians and children out.
The vast green garden is littered with multicolored plants, secret pathways, and seating areas, and there’s a huge treehouse at the bottom of the garden that Archie and Hamish spend a lot of time in. You can hear their shenanigans and laughter for miles as it echoes around the estate.
Pom-pom is still yet to get used to Coal and Jet, Knox and Eva’s two black Labradors. Pom-pom looks like a mouse in comparison to them both and they can’t decide whether to play with him or eat him. Every time Pom-pom barks, which is more like a yelp, they both jump and run away. End to end, the whole of the Blacks’ walled estate is picture-postcard perfect.
Although it’s supposed to be the end of summer, it’s anything but summer. It feels like winter already and I’m dreading the coming cold. However, I have only ever seen snow a handful of times, but in Castleview Cove they get it every year, like clockwork, so that makes me excited. I’ve never built a snowman before. That’s if Lincoln wants me to stay .
When I appeared in the ballroom the other day, it looked like he’d been slapped across the face, and then Knox and I ran off and hid through one of the secret entrances. Knox has had way too much fun planning Operation Violet, which is what he’s been calling it, and I’ve seen a side of Knox that showed his sense of humor too.
It’s been fun playing with Lincoln, but now I’m alone in bed again, and I don’t know how I feel. Maybe he truly doesn’t want me. Maybe he doesn’t love me like he said he did.
I can feel the confidence I had coming here slipping a little and it terrifies me.
I live in a perfect new home, within a perfect walled garden estate, have a perfect job with a perfect new family, but it doesn’t feel perfect.
A small tear escapes and I let out an unintentional whimper.
“Can you not sleep?” Lincoln’s deep voice that I so love asks me in the dark.
I quickly wipe my face to hide my emotions. “No.”
“I’ll make us a hot chocolate. Come down to the living room when you’re ready.”
“Okay,” I whisper.
After a few minutes, I make my way down the white wooden stairs. I love Lincoln’s house. It’s warm and modern all at the same time. It has deep charcoal carpeted flooring covering the top floor, with a matching-colored wooden floor on the bottom floor. It’s much smaller than mine, but he has white wood throughout and a white Shaker-style kitchen, making it look bigger than it is.
Lincoln is finishing lighting the fire just as I enter the living room. He’s placed a couple of cushions on the floor for us to sit on .
“It’s colder at night in the house. That’s the problem with stone houses. Come and sit down by the fire.” He passes me a super-soft gray blanket and I make myself comfortable beside him. It’s the closest we’ve been since he zipped my dress up for me, and his familiar aftershave assaults my nose.
I’ve missed that.
The warm orange glow from the fire illuminates the entire room.
It lights up Lincoln’s handsome face but highlights the deep bags under his eyes. He looks tired.
He passes me a hot mug of chocolatey liquid. “Are you okay?” His voice is full of concern. “Have you been crying?”
“I’m still jet-lagged. I’m no good without sleep. Makes me emotional,” I lie, then I blow the top of my hot chocolate before I take a sip. Oh, that is nice.
“Me too.”
According to his dad, he hasn’t slept for weeks.
He clears his throat. “So you’re here?” He stares into the crackling, dancing flames.
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“You left your father’s business?”
“It was time to move on. I get job offers all the time. I needed a change.”
“And my dad made you a good offer?”
“Yes.” I can’t wait to manage the suspended restaurant. “Your dad asked my dad if he could steal me.”
Lincoln shakes his head back and forth in astonishment. “He always does the honorable thing.”
“You’re just like him.”
“I’m not. He’s a much better man than I am. He wouldn’t have left you.” He wraps his hands around his mug. “When did you arrive? ”
“Two days before the ballroom meeting.”
“Where were you staying?”
“Ella and Fraser’s house.”
“With Pom-pom?”
“Yes.”
“And how did you get Pom-pom here? Did he not have to quarantine?”
“No. He is microchipped, has a pet passport, and he has all of his vaccinations.”
“And your belongings?”
“Shipped them express the first week. They’ve been at Ella and Fraser’s house.”
“That simple?”
“Yes.”
“You worked everything out.”
Yes, for you, you dumbass.
“What about your house?” He stares deep into the hypnotic flames of the now-roaring fire.
“You mean my dad’s house? He sold it. Not his style.”
“To your sister?”
“Hell, no.”
He’s thinking, and he’s yet to look at me.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
I don’t want to cry. I’m too tired and emotional for this conversation. It’s been four weeks of no contact with so many unspoken words between us, but all I can say is, “It’s okay.”
He lets out a big sigh. “It’s not. I’m a fucking disaster.”
When his yaya dropped by the first day I moved in, she told me he was crying the other night in her arms and my heart broke for him all over again. She asked me if I could fix her broken boy. I hope I can .
Placing my hot chocolate on the white marble hearth, I kneel in front of him.
He’s so handsome, and his tan is still deep considering he’s been home for over a month; maybe it’s the white tee shirt that makes him look darker or the low warm glow of the fire. Although I’m guessing his Greek heritage will help prolong his tan too. Whatever it is, he’s still my dark and mysterious man.
He has no choice but to look deep into my eyes as I cradle his face with my hands.
“You are not a disaster.” I thumb his cheek. “Your heart may feel broken right now, but you are not a disaster. You have people in your life who love you. I saw that with your family in Santa Monica, Linc. The people in your life are the people who matter the most.” His eyes become glassy with emotion. “You need to focus on what you have and not what you don’t. Maybe one day your mom will want to get in touch with you; maybe she will realize what she lost, and I know you said she was dead to you, but I know you. You will give her a chance if she ever does come looking because you are exactly like your father in every way. Never doubt that.” I give him a reassuring smile. “I think you are way more handsome than he is, though. Just don’t tell him I said that.” His gentle laugh ripples through the air. “It’s going to be okay. The fate of us meeting, and the way we did, it showed you what you were destined to always find out anyway. Just remember you are surrounded by people who love you, Lincoln.”
“She didn’t want me.” He blinks and one lonely fat tear slides down his cheek. “It hurts so bad.”
I give him a caring nod. “It will get better.”
“I’m so tired.”
I don’t kiss him. Instead, I gently coax him to lie down with me. I create a makeshift bed for us and lie on my side facing the fire, instructing him to spoon me.
He snuggles into me and says an almost inaudible thank you.
With his warm body pressed against mine, in his giant bear arms, we fall asleep together in minutes to the sounds of the crackling wood. And it’s the best night’s sleep we’ve both had in weeks.