Chapter 26
LUCY
Holy shit can Massimo kiss.
I thought Joey was good at it, but if I’m comparing, he wasn’t even in the same league. Or maybe it’s just that I convinced myself Joey was good and Massimo is showing me what being kissed is actually supposed to be like. Either way, I don’t want him to stop.
There’s a dominance in the way he kisses me, taking charge, and I’m happy to let him. It’s not overbearing, like he has to prove something. It’s natural, a call for something that I’m willing to give. I nip at his lip, making him grunt and return the gesture in kind, soothing it with his tongue.
I could get used to this.
I need to get closer to him. I adjust myself to wrap my legs around his waist, and I feel one of his hands come down to cup my ass cheek, holding me in place.
Like he wants to make sure that there is no chance I could fall.
He doesn’t grope me, doesn’t press, just continues to kiss me and wreak havoc on my emotions. On what I thought I wanted.
A part of me is screaming at me. What are you doing? You don’t know this man. What the fuck kind of bullshit are doing?
I ignore it all. I just sink into him, the passion in the kiss increasing. Until I start feeling the stirrings of desire that I long thought dormant. My core starts to ache, and I hear him give a low groan in his throat. Yeah, he’s not unaffected either.
The power that fills me is heady. I crave more of it. I want him to be as crazed as I feel. Why should I suffer alone?
“Holy shit!”
We still, and I pull my mouth from Massimo’s, head turning to see Kida standing in the doorway, Zeno right behind her. Kida’s mouth is hanging open, while Zeno is trying to hide his grin.
Embarrassment fills me, and I look at Massimo in horror.
Massimo’s eyes search mine, then he kisses me one more time.
Hard. Like he wants them to know he’s not going to stop.
I sink into him again, unable to help myself, before he pulls away and eases me back to my feet.
“Looks like I have to go, cerbiatta,” he murmurs, not even glancing at Kida and Zeno again.
I can feel Kida’s eyes drilling into the back of my head.
Yeah, I’m not looking forward to that discussion.
“Okay.” The words are soft, and I hope he can’t hear my disappointment. I tell myself that’s because I don’t want to face the inquisition alone and not because I just want to be close to him.
His lips quirk up into that sexy smile of his. “We’re not done, Lucy,” he murmurs. “I’ll be back after I’m done. We’ll talk. Okay?”
Talk? Yeah, I hate that word. He’s probably about to tell me that we can’t do that again. We might have a connection, but he’s not ready for more. Or he’s not ready for it to be with a single mother. “Okay.” What else can I say?
“Lucy.” There’s a warning in his tone. I blink in surprise.
“Don’t be letting your imagination run wild, cerbiatta.
” He leans down so he can murmur in my ear, “Be a good girl for me, yes? Then we’ll discuss what we’re going to do.
” A quick kiss just behind my ear has me shivering, and then a strange emptiness as he releases me, and turns back to stand near the bassinet.
“Behave for you mama and your zia, ometto.” Soren makes a small grunting sound, and Massimo grins.
He reaches in and strokes Soren’s head gently before heading for the door.
“Stay out of trouble, Kida,” Zeno warns my sister.
“Or what?” Kida demands, hands going to her hips as she glares at him.
Zeno’s eyes flash with a dark anticipation, but he doesn’t answer. I swear Kida blushes, but she manages to keep her glare in place.
Hmmm, looks like I might not be the only one interested in a Caruso brother.
Zeno and Massimo leave, and Kida rounds on me.
“What the fuck?” she practically screeches at me.
I glare at her when Soren lets out a cry of distress.
Kida winces. “Shit, sorry.” She rushes to the bassinet to soothe and quiet Soren.
Who, thankfully, settles quickly. “You can’t expect me to not freak the hell out when I walk in here and your wrapped around the guy like a fucking spider monkey. ”
“I could say the same for you with that blush after Zeno looked at you. Care to explain that?”
Her eyes roll. “It’s nothing. He was being an ass.
You know, like most of the men around here.
” Her lips pull down into a frown. “Look, Lucy, I know you’re smart, but don’t get distracted by all of this or wrapped up in him.
Massimo is a nice guy, but he’s mafia. They don’t play by the same rules. And I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Again. The word hangs between us, unspoken, but just as clear.
“I’m fine, Kida. I’m a big girl. I can handle something like this.” Even to my own ears, my voice isn’t as confident as I want it to be.
Yeah, she doesn’t believe that either. Damn it.
“Lucy, please. You’re hormonal and—”
“Not everything has to do with fucking hormones, Kida,” I snap. “I’d like to think that I’m not as hormonal as I could be considering.”
“Yeah, you are, but that doesn’t mean that you falling for Massimo right now isn’t just your hormones playing tricks.
This is the first time you’ve been interested in a man since Joey died.
And he’s exactly the kind of guy you go for too, so there’s that.
I just don’t want you to see this as a forever, when he could only be focused on right now, or… ”
I already know what she’s trying to imply. “Or he’ll be like Joey and figure out that he can dominate me even if I don’t want him to.”
She nods slowly. “Look, I heard him when he was about to shut the passage door earlier, and I saw the way you reacted. I saw the look in his eyes. The satisfaction of getting you to do what he wanted.”
“He apologized for that. Like, really apologized. Not what Joey used to do, but the kind where I believe he means it. Joey always knew how to sound sorry, but there was that look in his eyes and the way he talked that I knew he didn’t mean it.”
“Or is Massimo just really good at hiding it?”
A sliver of doubt creeps in. Is she right? Is Massimo only telling me sorry so that I’ll just do what he wants?
The visceral feeling of my mind screaming no, almost has me jolting. It’s so sharp, so hard that even if there was any doubt leaking in, it’s been booted right back out.
“No, I don’t think that’s it. Look, Kida, I know you’re worried, but whatever this is with me and Massimo, it’s…
it’s not the same as Joey and I. I’m not going to pretend like I know what’s going to happen, or that this isn’t going to end in a fiery crash when all of this mafia shit is over, but for now, I just…
I don’t know why but I like the way I feel around him.
At the way he treats Soren. Even you. Just, trust me, okay?
I’ll be careful, and I won’t rush into anything. I promise.”
She doesn’t look convinced, but she nods. “Fine.” Then she gives me a teasing smile. “At least tell me he’s a good kisser. It’d be a shame to have a man like that kiss you and be terrible at it.”
I smirk. “Oh no, there’s no worry of that.” Definitely not.
She chuckles. “Well, that’s something I guess.”
“Alright, ladies, we need to get back to work,” Sienna suddenly announces from the doorway.
We turn and I see her standing there with all the other women.
“The men are off to deal with whoever they captured to figure out who launched the attack, but that means we need to figure shit out. And we’re going to use Amara’s salon because it’s open and doesn’t have a bunch of shit on the walls yet. ”
“And if she’s up to it, I’d love a wash and blow out,” Sofia adds with a wink at Amara.
Amara smiles. “Sure. Doing something with my hands always helps me work through things anyway.”
“I already got a whiteboard and all the other shit you asked for down there,” Sofia adds. Then she looks at me and grins. “And we all want to hear how the kiss with Massimo was, darling.”
My face heats. Uh oh. How much did they hear?
“And I want to know about whatever Zeno was whispering to you on the way up here,” Rori adds to Kida.
My head whips toward my sister and her face heats, a guilty look in her eyes.
“Oh, yeah, don’t think you managed to keep that under wraps, missy.
” Rori snickers. “I swear the lot of you keep drinking the water around here. I’m going to have to start testing it. ”
Sienna, Gia, and Amara all share a look that I can’t quite decipher, but maybe that’s for the best. If they all focus on Kida, then they won’t be focusing on me.
“Let me get Soren. He’ll probably just want to sleep.” I give Sofia a grateful smile. “And thank you for getting one of the portable bassinets. It’ll make it easier to bring him down so he can sleep.”
“Let me help,” Sofia offers. It takes us a few more minutes, but we eventually get the bassinet into the portable format, and I slip Soren back into his sling, making him very unhappy.
When we get to Amara’s salon, I’m impressed with how nice it is. “It’s been so long since I’ve had my hair done,” I tell her as we set up the bassinet in the corner, away from her chair and the wash bowls. “But this looks so nice.”
Amara smiles at Gia. “You can thank Gia for that. I’m still shocked that she had one built here.”
“You’re joking right? This way Nico can’t get all pissy if I want to go out and get my hair done,” Gia scoffs.
Soren lets out a cry when I pull him out of the sling and put him in the bassinet. He kicks his feet angrily, his little face scrunching up.
“Someone doesn’t like to be out of the action,” Rori grins. “Come on, big guy, don’t be stressing out your mama.” She reaches in and lifts him into her arms, expertly turning him so he’s propped up and can see around.
The change is enough to stop his cries as he looks up at Rori.
It hits me that I’m not even panicking seeing someone else hold him. Huh. Guess that time in the passageways took that fear away. Still, I’m careful to keep an eye on him while everyone else moves around to set up the whiteboard and all the papers that Amara and the others had written earlier.
Before long the walls are full, and we’re all staring at them like we’re hoping the answers will just pop out at us.
“Wow, this is a lot,” Kida remarks. “How on earth are we supposed to figure anything out?”
“Ask the puzzle master over here,” Sofia jokes lightly, jerking her head at Amara. “If anyone is going to figure this whole thing out, it’s her.”
“I still think we should check out the hidden room again,” Sienna reasons. “I mean, what if we’re missing stuff still?”
“Maybe we should split into teams,” Gia agrees. “Everyone looking at different things means we cover more ground.” She looks at Sienna. “Did you get the journals from Pietro?”
She nods, grabbing something from the lounger. She hesitates. “Do you want to read them, or do you want someone else to?”
“What are they?” I ask.
“They’re journals our mothers wrote.” She regards me carefully. “And including that she didn’t love us. She wanted to get rid of us, and she hated Gia.” Gia flinches, but it’s quickly followed by her straightening her shoulders.
“I’d like my mother’s journal,” Amara says softly. “Lazaro was worried that I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I read it, but I think he’s wrong.”
“Are you sure?” Sienna asks, watching her. “You’ve been through a lot Amara and—”
“Now you sound like him,” Amara huffs, exasperated. “Look, even if it’s terrible, I can handle it. With my past, trust me, there isn’t much I can’t handle right now. And if she wrote something important, maybe I can figure out what it means.”
Sienna slowly nods and hands her the journal. Amara holds it close, her fingers gripping it like she’s afraid to let it go.
I glance at the last journal in Sienna’s hands. Did my mother write something about me at all? Or just that she didn’t want me like Gia and Sienna? Can I handle what she wrote?
“Gia, do you want to read this one?” Sienna asks Gia.
Gia swallows and slowly shakes her head. “I don’t think I want the emotion of reading it just yet.”
“I’ll read it,” I offer. They look at me, saying nothing.
“I’m a mother, right? Maybe there is something I can understand?
” It’s a weak argument, but my curiosity is getting the better of me.
I really want to know more about the woman who birthed me.
I mean, up until now, I haven’t cared. Too focused on being here in the first place.
“She’s not kind, Lucy,” Sienna warns. “Are you sure?”
Am I? I nod. “I’m not great at figuring out puzzles and stuff, and I’m coming into this so late I don’t know that I’m going to be able to help otherwise. And you’ll probably spend more time explaining things to me.”
Sienna slowly nods. “Alright.” She gives me the journal.
It’s heavy, thick, and wrapped in a soft leather.
There’s some distress in the leather, and the pages have yellowed over time, but I’m finding myself anxious to read it.
What kind of person was my mother? Other than a bitch when it comes to her children, clearly.
But what else? If she was expected to produce boys, I can understand why she was bitter.
Especially with a husband and sons like the ones I’ve already met.
“Sofia, you and I should look at the office again,” Gia suggests.
“We’ve been around these streets longer, maybe we can see something.
And I remember things my father said before, so it might come in handy.
” Sofia nods, and I watch in shock as they go to the shelf by the front door, fiddle around under it, and the wall that has nothing covering it suddenly opens.
“What the fuck?” Kida gasps. “Holy shit. Is this some kind of fun house? Secret passages, now secret rooms?”
“This is the new discovery, so yeah, we’re all still surprised from it,” Gia says with a slight smile. “This was Nico’s mother’s secret room.”
“Wait, that’s the one they were talking about in the office. The one with the map?” Gia nods. “I want to have a look. Maybe a new set of eyes might help.”
“You do that with them, and Amara, Rori, and I are going to work on looking at everything we have so far,” Sienna agrees. “Or, are you going to read the journal first?” she asks Amara.
“I’ll start with this, and then do the journal later. The guys are going to be busy, so maybe I’ll read it before bed. Let’s get to work.” Amara sets the journal aside on her station, moves to step with the others in front of the whiteboard and sheets.
I check in on Soren as I sit on the couch, but he’s already fallen back asleep. Looks like I have some time. I look at the book again.
Alright, time to find out what I’m going to think of my birth mother and whether that’s going to end with me hating or sympathizing with her.