Chapter 25
MASSIMO
I never knew it was possible to despise a dead man so much.
I hope he’s burning in hell. What kind of man does that to the woman he’s supposed to cherish?
To love more than himself? To use her that way, to manipulate her to serve his selfish desires and break her trust, is unforgivable.
If he wasn’t already dead, I’d kill him.
“No, it doesn’t,” I tell her firmly. I don’t want her ever to feel like she owes that prick anything else. He deserves nothing from her anymore.
Her eyes search mine, and they grow wet the longer she stares at me. She blinks hard a few times, trying to keep them at bay. “We were married.”
“He’s lucky that you even mourned him with the way he treated you.
” Fuck, I’m so angry. I don’t consider myself part of the BDSM world, but I am a dominant man, and I like the women in my bed to be more submissive.
I like them being willing to trust me and allow me to run the show how I see fit, knowing that they’re putting themselves in my hands.
To know that Lucy was betrayed in that way, the parts of her exposed and vulnerable to him and then exploited, infuriates me.
“It’s over now, but when you talked to me that way earlier, it brought it back. I know you weren’t doing it on purpose, that you didn’t know that about me, but it put my back up.”
Guilt eats at me. Fuck. I fucked this up. “Had I known, Lucy, I would never have spoken to you that way.” I wince. “No, that’s not true. I might have, but it was only because of the situation. I was only thinking of getting you and Soren to safety.”
“I’m not angry about that, Massimo. I’m really not. It was just…I had hoped to never reveal that side of myself again. Not unless I wanted, and it feels like I’ve lost control again. That I’ve given you some kind of leverage against me.”
That guilt only intensifies. “But I did use it as leverage, didn’t I?
When I ordered you into the bathroom, I knew what I was doing.
I knew that you would do what I told you to if I used the same tone.
That doesn’t make me any better than him.
” I shake my head, infuriated at myself.
She looks at me in surprise, like she didn’t realize that I had done that.
That doesn’t fucking help, especially after hearing her story.
With one hand still on Soren’s belly to keep him in place, I reach out the other toward her, and she instinctively takes it.
I look at her with every ounce of sincerity I’m feeling and say, “I am so very sorry, Lucy, that I did that to you. I will not do that to you again. You have my word.” I will never allow myself to do that to her again.
Her fingers flex, but her eyes stay glued to mine, searching. Then she slowly nods. “Thank you,” she murmurs.
I’m not one hundred percent sure that she believes me, but I’ll show her. I will make it my goal to prove myself to her. To show her that we’re not all like her idiot husband.
“Other than all of that, were you happy with him?” I don’t know why I need to know that, but I have a deep need to hear her tell me.
She sighs and pulls her hand from mine. “I was happy for a long time. He was my second love and my first real adult romance. I had a high school boyfriend, but that was never going to work. Joey was cute, attentive, and a lot of fun. At first, I wasn’t sure that he was really interested in me for more than fun, but suddenly we were together, and it was just good.
It worked. But Joey always wanted more. He wanted to be big and successful, and I think that overshadowed our relationship.
I supported him because he was smart, and if anyone could make it work, it was Joey.
But, like anything, we grew up and became different people.
We still made things work, we compromised, but I knew we were growing apart. ”
I want to tell her that they wouldn’t have lasted from the sounds of things, but I’m not cruel. “And did you grow unhappy toward the end?”
She nods. “I was so angry with him all the time. I was feeling so neglected. He made us move to the city, and I had no one. No friends, no family support, nothing. I was working or at home, and instead of us spending time together, he was always gone. The only time he seemed to be interested in spending time with me was if I wanted sex or I suggested us going to the club he found.” She gives me a bitter smile.
“Sex was the only connection we had left, and even with that, we were growing apart.”
A cold sliver of dread slices down my spine. “Did he break your trust when it came to your intimate life?”
She hesitates, but then slowly nods.
Fucker.
“I’m pretty sure he was going to the club without me and cheating on me at the end of it,” she whispers, swallowing hard.
“I couldn’t prove it, he was being careful, but he always was more relaxed after the club, and in the last couple of months, when he was supposed to be with the guys from work, he would come home far too relaxed.
I was suspicious, but I was also so tired from everything that I didn’t want to look too hard into it. ”
The pain she has gone through irritates me. I want to fix it. I want to prove to her that she never has to worry about something like that again. “You have good instincts, cerbiatta. If you suspected, then you were probably right.”
“What does that mean? You’ve called me that a few times.”
I blink at the change in subject. “Cerbiatta is loosely translated to little deer.” I smile playfully. “Because you are a bit skittish with big doe eyes when you look at me at times. It suits you.”
“Oh.” She doesn’t look like she knows how to process that. Instead of commenting on my answer, she changes the subject again. “I don’t mean to dump all of this on you, Massimo. And I don’t say any of this to make you look at me with pity, or make you feel guilty in some way.”
“I want you to be open and honest with me, Lucy. Never feel that you have to hide something from me because you think that you will hurt my feelings. You are brave, and you have the courage to use your voice. You stood up to Nico, even when you didn’t want to.
So telling me this, this is nothing, yes? ”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“What else would it be? We talk, and you let your soul lighten without the burden of these feelings weighing on your heart.”
She looks away nervously, but finally drags her gaze back to me. “I only really feel this way and have this connection with you, Massimo. And it scares me a little bit. Especially since I don’t really know you. I just feel some kind of weird pull, the need to tell you things. It frightens me.”
My brave cerbiatta.
I can see how much it’s costing her to tell me this.
Instead of answering her right away, I gently lift Soren into my arms and carry him over to the bassinet near the bed.
He lets out a small sound of protest, but then yawns.
When I turn, I see Lucy is on her feet, watching me with a worried expression.
When I reach her, I’m careful not to crowd her, but the worry is now nerves as she tilts her head back to look up at me.
“You never have to be afraid of me, cerbiatta. Never be afraid to share your thoughts and feelings, even if they frighten you. You think you are alone in these feelings? You are not.” Her lashes flutter in surprise.
I smile gently. “I feel this need to be around you, Lucy, and around Soren. It’s a strange thing for me, and I don’t know how to handle it myself.
My entire purpose in coming into those passages was to get to you.
Make sure you were alright; that Soren wasn’t too upset.
Though, since we are being honest, I don’t know how I feel about them either. ”
“Because you don’t like me that way?”
“Because I have never wanted a woman of my own. I’ve never wanted a family like my brothers do, or like my Papa wishes for me. I have always been the casual brother, the one who enjoys the finer things and the ease of being single.”
“So you’re a bit of a manwhore.” There’s no judgment there, more just a fact.
I shrug. “Perhaps by some standards, but I am not cruel about it. I don’t sleep with a woman to just discard her. I never want a woman to feel that I don’t value her in some way. I’m also very clear that anything with me is casual.”
“And is that what you want with me?”
Is it?
“No,” I finally admit. I see the slight slump in her shoulders, barely perceptible, but her gaze never leaves mine.
“What I want from you is much more, Lucy Taylor. I find myself needing to be close to you, thinking of you, and that’s only in the last twenty-four hours.
It concerns me because if this is what it is like now, what will it be like in a week?
A month? More? Will I be so utterly consumed by you that nothing else will matter? ”
“Like your father was with your mother?” she asks quietly, eyes seeing far too much.
I frown slightly. Is that what I’m doing? Worried that I’m going to turn out to be like my father and hurt? I’ve never thought of such things before.
“You don’t strike me as the type to be like your mother, at least not with how you described her,” Lucy continues, hesitantly reaching out to take my hand in hers and squeezing it.
“You’re your own man, Massimo. You don’t live to be compared to others.
Even with your brothers earlier, you all stand out in your own way.
You’re warm and kind, but I also know that under all of that, you are the kind of man to protect what you care about with everything you have.
Your family, your friends, the empire that your father has built.
Setting aside what you feel for me, you’re not going to be like her, Massimo.
I don’t have to know you long to believe that.
I’m as sure of that as I am that this bloody war that is going on, you will win.
And you’ll protect me and Soren like you have been. ”
Why do her words feel like a balm to my wounded soul? Wounds I thought long buried and hidden away. How can this woman see me so clearly so quickly? It makes me uneasy, but I also have the urge to find out what more she sees.
Instead of answering her, I wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her close.
She lets out a small gasp, but she doesn’t fight me, her free hand splaying across the center of my chest. She feels so small, so delicate, and every protective instinct inside me rises.
I let go of her hand and instead cup the side of her face.
“You make me want to believe that, cerbiatta,” I murmur.
“And you make me want to be so consumed by you that I won’t care about any of it. ”
I lower my head, a silent question as my lips hover over hers. Her lashes flutter, her eyes searching, until I feel her fingers curl into my shirt and her head tilt a little more so that her lips brush against mine. Feather-light, but the jolt that sizzles through me is powerful.
Taking that as consent, I sink into her, unable to be without the taste of her for another second.
The kiss is slow, an exploration. Testing, light, neither of us ready to push it any further.
Lucy slowly pulls away, looking up at me, a question in her eyes.
I don’t answer, just watch her. How can one kiss turn me on so much?
Fuck, I’ve never felt like this before. Not even when I was in high school and kissing girls for the first time.
We were so eager, we forgot to savor. With Lucy, I want to brand this moment into my memory.
“Massimo,” she whispers, her hand sliding up to curve around my neck. I instinctively lift her, bringing her face up to my level, and she wraps both arms around my neck. There’s nerves there, but then being the brave woman she is, she rasps, “Kiss me again. Like you mean it. Like you want to.”
I let out a small groan. Who am I to argue?
This time, the kiss is deeper, and quickly sharpens with a dark need. She tastes so fucking perfect. Hot, sweet, perfection. I can feel the loose pieces inside my mind finally click into place. The only thing that matters right now is delving deeper; filling my mouth with the taste of her.
She gives a soft moan when her mouth opens enough for me to thrust my tongue inside. Her fingers slide into my hair, gripping tight like she’s afraid I’ll stop.
She has no fear of that.
Any doubt, it’s gone now. Now, there is nothing I won’t do to possess Lucy Taylor and make her mine.