Chapter Twelve - Thalia
I CAN’T REMEMBER the last time I was this stressed out. I’ve got a huge test in my art history class, and I don’t have time to think about how I’m not speaking with either of my roommates. I don’t have time to think about whatever mind games Vera tried playing with me last week at the coffee shop. She’s one of my oldest friends, and I must be wrong. I don’t have the time to sit here and think about it.
I’ve been holed up in my room for an entirely different reason than before, only leaving for class and food. I hear a knock on the door and set my notes on the bed. “Busy! Go away!”
The door opens regardless, and Sebastian pokes his head in. “We need to talk.”
“Can it wait until after my test tomorrow?” I ask, but he’s already stepped in, shutting the door behind him.
“No, it can’t. The team is flying to Florida tomorrow for an away game. Thalia, you have avoided me for two weeks now, and I’m done letting you.”
All right then. I guess we’re doing this.
Having Bash in my room makes it feel impossibly small. I don’t have anywhere to hide. I suppose I could hide behind my notes and laptop. “Fine. Let’s talk,” I say, putting my notes into my textbook and shutting it along with my computer. I should have holed up in Blake’s dorm. She would only tell me I have to face the consequences of my own actions. I couldn’t open that can of worms and expect to avoid Bash forever.
“Did you mean it?” He’s staring intently at me, almost like he’s trying to figure out a puzzle with missing pieces.I actually used to hide pieces from him when we were kids because it made him so mad not being able to find them.
I’m doing my best to keep a neutral facial expression, but I’m not as skilled at it as Sebastian is. I know my face is getting red. I can feel it getting warm. “Do you want me to word it a different way? Want to fuck? Romp around in bed? Screw? Jump your bones? Hook up? Or better yet, Sebastian, can I please climb you like a tree?”
He laughs at the absurdity of my options, lifting some of the tension. “Excuse me?”
“It’s something Penelope likes to say.” I laugh despite this not being funny. “It’d be a one-time thing. If we can get each other out of our systems, then all this can stop. I’ll wear more clothes and give you a break like you asked. We can be people who coexist together.”
Sebastian looks unsure. I can’t tell what he’s thinking, but that’s nothing new. I slip off the bed to step closer to him. “Thalia, sex can never just be sex. It might seem like a good idea, but I don’t know.”
“Sex can just be sex. Are you saying that it wasn’t just sex with Lacey?”
“Lucy. It was just sex with Lucy,” he corrects, running his hand through his brown hair. So does that mean he doesn’t think it can be just sex with us? What exactly is the difference between Lucy and me? “There are so many ways this could go wrong.”
“You don’t think I know that?” I test the waters and rest my hand on his chest, feeling the rapid beating of his heart. “Bash, I think you need this just as much as I do, or you would have immediately told me no.”
Bash looks down at me, and I feel the same magnetic pull I always do to him. I wonder if he feels it too. Maybe that’s the exact reason why I should take it all back. “And Owen?” Sebastian asks. “He’s not dumb. He will figure it out if we magically start acting nicely toward each other.”
I don’t want to feel this way. I hate it because I don’t know how to act around Sebastian anymore. I want things to go back to normal before I kissed him a year and a half ago. So many things went wrong after that; maybe we can have a clean slate this time.
“He never has to find out. We coexist and move on. Everything will be fine, and we can pretend that none of it ever happened. If you want to continue doing whatever we’re doing, then fine. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of calling you an asshole.” Bash chuckles, and I smile. “This is tempting, isn’t it? We could get creative with positions. I’ve got a tattoo that you haven’t seen yet. I think you’ll have fun finding it.”
I take it one step further by curling my fingers around the chain he wears, gently pulling him down to brush my lips across his. I have Sebastian exactly where I want him. He could easily resist.
His self-control snaps as Sebastian presses his mouth harder against mine, solidifying his answer. His hands pull my body closer, but I angle my head away. “I need to focus on my test.”
Bash closes the gap, kissing me again profoundly and thoroughly. I moan into his mouth as he slides his hand to squeeze my ass. Sebastian takes advantage of my open mouth, and this is just as intoxicating as I remember. Honestly, screw the test. I won’t be able to think about anything else now.
He pulls back, lowering his mouth to my ear. “And I have a game to prepare for, but I’m looking forward to how you’ll climb me like a tree. Good luck on your test.”
I cover my mouth, breathing unevenly as I take a few steps back to create space between us. I don’t see us getting our responsibilities done if I stay close to him. I’m certain Owen will catch us if that happens. I wonder what excuse he used to come in here because I know Owen is home. “Good luck with your game. We’ll figure this out after you get back from your trip.”
Sebastian tilts his head, a playful smirk forming. “You make this sound like a business transaction. Where’s the romance?”
“You don’t want romance, not from me, and I know that. Isn’t this a business transaction? I know exactly what I want this for.” I pause to look at him curiously. “Why do you want to have sex with me? For all I know, you could decide one time isn’t enough to satiate your urges.” Whatever feelings Sebastian might have had for me are long gone…unless they’re not?
Bash quickly closes the space I’d created to pull me against him exactly like he did that night before my going away party. My breathing hitches as he runs his thumb across my cheek and over my bottom lip, pulling on it slightly. “Little Lia, I have no doubt you’ll be begging for more once I get started with you.”
His words send electricity pulsing through me. I don’t want to admit that he could be so very right. Instead, I bite his thumb hard enough to get him to let up. “Watch out, Bash. I bite.”
Bash smiles at me with amusement after moving toward the door. “One night, Thalia. One night and then a ceasefire?”
I nod, shifting backward to sit on my bed. “Yep.”
Sebastian slips out without another word, and I look helplessly at my textbooks. Goddamn, I’m never going to be able to focus now. I should have stayed in Paris. I’d be eating a profiterole and sitting on a bench next to the Seine. It might smell like cigarettes there, but it’d be a much better option as opposed to asking Sebastian fucking Walker to have sex with me. Penelope will be proud to hear I took her advice. I hope she’s right.
I can’t help but bring my fingers to touch my lips. I had one relationship and a few flings in Paris, but none of them felt like this. Nothing has ever felt like this with anyone but Sebastian. That thought is terrifying.
~
I tossed and turned all night after deciding to try to get some semblance of sleep. I eventually bounced from my room to the kitchen with my textbooks before finally crashing on the couch. My textbook was still draped across my chest on the section about Stalin.
A rustling sound in the kitchen wakes me up. I sit up, causing the stupid textbook to fall into my lap. I shut it, expecting to see Sebastian in the kitchen since he’s usually the one I see out here in the middle of the night. The sunlight peeking through the windows and the refrigerator light reveals that it’s Owen instead.
“What time does your flight leave?” I ask quietly, finally making the first move after weeks of silence. Owen jumps half out of his skin, turning around to look at me.
“Fuck, Lia, what are you doing out here? It’s five in the morning.”
I yawn and hold up my textbook. “I have a hard time sleeping. Stalin did me a favor and put me to sleep for once.”
“I don’t think Stalin did many people favors.” Owen shakes his head at me before sighing. “We leave at eight.”
I pull the blanket over my shoulders as I sit up. “Can we talk?”
“I don’t have much time. Bash will be up any minute since we have to be at the locker room at six.”
“I’m sorry. You were right. There’s no excuse, and I’m sorry.” Blake will be happy. Owen will stop complaining to her about this.
Owen rubs the back of his neck. “I’m sorry too. What I said was mean, and I shouldn’t have said it. You’re not a child—far from it—which is part of the problem when I treat you like one. You’re different from when you left. It’s taking everyone some getting used to?”
“You’re right. It was mean, but I appreciate the apology,” I say, blinking back tears. “What do you mean everyone?”
“Look, Lia, I’m not dumb,” he starts to say, and my heart stops. Holy fuck, there’s no way he knows about me and Bash. “I know that you’re…you know…pretty? Sorry, it’s bizarre for me to say that because you’re my sister. It’s scary for me, though. I know that guys notice you; they always have, but it terrifies me. You coming home hardly able to walk with a guy scared me. Thank God it was Eric, but what if it had been a guy who didn’t care about making sure you got home safe? What if Bash and I weren’t here? Those what-if questions haunt me when I play things back in my head. I want you to have fun, but I also want you to be safe.”
I listen quietly, taking in Owen’s perspective. It makes sense. It really does.
“I’m not saying that your being pretty is the problem.” Owen drags his hands over his face. “I overreacted to the situation, but I did it because I was afraid. You’re not embarrassing, and I shouldn’t have said that.”
“I didn’t know that you worried so much.” I swallow thickly, pulling my blanket tighter around me.
“I always worry, but that’s my problem, not yours. People are drawn to you, and I understand why. You’re a great person to be around. I want to ask if maybe you don’t get slammed without someone there with you. Bash and I won’t always be there to protect you.”
I’d be laughing if I weren’t so shaken up by Owen’s admission. Sebastian is one of the people I probably need the most protection from. He’d never hurt me, but I think I’m in over my head with him.
I wipe my tears that have slowly started to slide down my cheeks. “I’ll be more careful. Please stop trying to act like Dad and just act like my brother. If you ever talk to me that way again, I’ll hurt you.”
He pulls me into a hug that I gladly return. “I promise I won’t. Just be…smarter. I know you have the brains. Also, could you do me a favor and stop trying to get under Sebastian’s skin so much? If you’d stop treating him like the enemy, you’d see that he’s a great guy. I know you know that. He cares about you a lot, even if he doesn’t like it.”
I let out a shaky breath. “I’ll try.” I pull away, and Owen ruffles my hair.
“You’re going to do great on your test. Show them what you know.”
“I will. Keep me updated on how the game goes.”
“Don’t get mad at me for asking, but you’re not planning on throwing another party while we’re gone, right?” Owen asks slowly, and I can’t help laughing.
“Not a chance.” I don’t bother trying to protest again that I hadn’t thrown the party in the first place. We’re moving on from it. “I should study more since I’m awake. No rest for the wicked.”
“Why don’t you go back to your room and sleep some more? No offense, but you look like hell,” Owen teases, and he’s right.
“Have a safe flight. I’ll see you guys when you get back.” I hug him tightly again.
I don’t run into Sebastian in the hallway, and a part of me is glad. I probably wouldn’t have let him leave for their away game because his words and touch were the reason for last night’s insomnia. I couldn’t stop thinking of the promise behind his kiss, even as I read about Stalin.
It seems too good to be true that everyone will win. Owen will get what he wants. I won’t be treating Bash like the enemy, and hopefully, I’ll get an orgasm out of it. It’d be a shame if he were all talk.The all-consuming way he kisses makes me feel like he’s not all talk.
Great, and now I’m thinking about kissing him again.
It’s going to be a long couple of days.