21. SIENNA
21
SIENNA
Alessio is so tired that I manage to get out of the bed without him waking up. He continues to breathe slowly and evenly, and I look at him for a moment with a mixture of bewilderment and some kind of weird affection. Or, maybe it’s the last time he was like this, I managed to tie him up without waking him. If I wasn’t so tired still myself, or didn’t really need to pee, I might try it again just for fun, but nature calls.
I make my way around the darkened room to the bathroom, shutting the door softly behind me before turning on the light. I wince as the light hits my tired eyes, but they quickly adjust and I glance out the window over the tub, realizing that it’s definitely late in the day. Considering how tired I was, I’m not surprised. I still feel like I could sleep for a few more hours, but I also know that if I don’t get up and moving, I’m going to be up all night.
Once I take care of business and wash my hands, I strip out of Alessio’s clothes and climb into the spacious shower, taking a moment to try and figure out the dials. This shower is fancy as hell, with beautiful stone on three sides, a full glass wall, and shower door facing into the bathroom. There’s a rainfall showerhead and body jets, and even a couple extra wands that look interesting. Hell, I’ve been in some nice showers, but this certainly takes the cake.
I can feel that my eyes are still puffy from crying so long and hard, and the water helps to soothe them a little. Yeah, I don’t want to think about that right now. I’ll be embarrassed later. Instead, I stand under the water for another couple of minutes, letting it wake me up and soothe some of the aches inside me, before I finally grab some of Alessio’s products to wash my hair and myself. I’ll have to ask Sofia or Gia for products of my own, not to mention clothes. I still have some in my bag, but they aren’t going to last forever and probably need a wash by now.
Once I finish my shower, I step out and set to work on towel drying my hair as best as I can, and then searching the vanity for a spare toothbrush. By the time I finally emerge from the bathroom, I’m feeling much more myself, though I’m still desperately in need of some clothes. I put the shirt and boxers Alessio loaned me into the hamper in the corner of the bathroom, and then walk naked into the main bedroom. Alessio is still fast asleep, and barely even stirs when I find my bag near the door and pull on a sports bra, underwear, yoga pants, and a white crop top. Finally, I slip on my sneakers.
I search my bag for my phone, pulling it out and sticking it in my pocket before I slip out of the room and shut the door quietly behind me. I’m starving, so I need to find my way down to the kitchen.
As I make my way down the hall toward the stairs, I realize this place is far busier during the day. I get curious glances from the staff, with a few whispering to each other as I go by. Not that I can understand them, but I don’t need to be bilingual to know they’re talking about me. I give them all a friendly smile, and when I reach the lower level, I head toward the same area that Alessio lead me last night. I think the kitchen is this way.
Of course, I end up hopelessly lost, and find myself down a different hallway at a dead-end. “Shit. They need a map for this place,” I huff.
I hear a low chuckle to my left and I jump, flushing in embarrassment when I see Pietro standing in the doorway next to me. “You’ll figure out your way quickly enough I’m sure, cara ,” he says with a warm smile. He’s wearing a casual dress shirt and tan dress pants, gold rings on most of his fingers. Tattoos poke out of the open collar of his shirt, and while he gives the appearance of a mafia Don, it’s somehow softer.
“I’m sorry, Don Caruso,” I say with a wry smile. “I was trying to find the kitchen and I went down the wrong hallway. I’m sorry if I disturbed you.”
He waves that away. “Call me Pietro, my dear. And it’s never a disturbance to be interrupted by a beautiful lady.” Ah, now I see where his son gets his charm. “Why don’t you come in and keep me company, and I’ll have the kitchen send something up?” he suggests, stepping back and revealing an expansive office.
“Oh, I don’t want to interrupt your work,” I hastily say. I know the man is nice enough, but he’s still a freaking Don. I’ve already screwed up terribly with one, and this one is far scarier than Nico. Maybe it’s because of all the things I’ve read about him, but at the same time, I can’t seem to connect those with this man. He’s far too nice, too sweet. It’s disconcerting.
“I was about to take a break so all you’ve done is give me a proper excuse,” he says with a wink. I follow him into his office, and I can’t help but look around.
The room is massive, about the size of Alessio’s bedroom with shelves of books, different pieces of furniture including a couple of sofas and chairs, and a very large hand-crafted wooden desk. A few of the windows are made of stained glass, while others are plain, currently open to let in the warm air and smell of the gardens outside. It’s a beautiful space, and I already know that if I had a space like this, I would rarely leave. I’d probably get a lot of work done. “This is stunning,” I tell him when I look back at him and see him watching me with a patient smile.
“My father hated it, said it was too far away from all the important things a Don should be surrounded by,” Pietro says, indicating for me to take a seat at a small cafe table near one of the windows by his desk. “Myself, I prefer to have the peace and quiet, and the ability to escape when the mood strikes.” He gives me a wink and I relax. “Now, let me call down and get some things sent up. Anything you’re not partial to?”
“No, anything is fine, thank you” I say with a grateful smile. He nods and picks up the phone on his desk, speaking softly before hanging up.
“It shouldn’t be too long. Gives us a chance to chat.” I nod, though I’m instantly wary. What does he want to talk about? Shit, maybe he heard about what happened with Nico last night and is about to take me to task for it. “Oh, now, what’s that look for?” he asks me, arching a brow. “Is something the matter?”
“Ah, well, no, not exactly. I guess I just don’t know what you would want to talk to me about.”
He says nothing for a moment, just regards me with those dark eyes that see far too much. Finally he sighs and says, “Sienna, I know you are nervous, and on one level I understand. I’m a Don, and despite everything you’ve been through with my son, that’s not the same as being in this kind of situation is it? But I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about here. With me or anyone else.”
I lick my lips nervously. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be so awkward, but, well, I’m feeling so off kilter right now, and after last night, I just…I’m worried to, ah, screw up again.”
“You’ll be fine. Now, how about you tell me what has you concerned? I’m sure it’s not all that bad, right?”
I wince. “Not unless me attacking Nico by mistake isn’t all that bad.” I have to give it to him, because the only reaction I get is a slightly arched brow. He motions for me to continue, and before I can stop myself, it all pours out until I’m finished, and he blinks at me for a moment. Then he starts to chuckle, before he lets out a booming laugh. My eyes widen as I stare at him. Okay, that was not the reaction I was expecting.
It takes another moment for him to stop laughing, but when he does, he grins at me. “Now I know why Nico is sporting quite the bruise and he’s as growly as a bear today. I figured he and Alessio finally had it out, but this is better. You, cara mia , are going to keep things lively around here, and I think it’s just what this place needs.” He gets a wistful look on his face. “It’s almost like when Sofia was growing up and pulling her pranks or getting revenge on the boys when they did shit to piss her off. It used to annoy me, but now the older I get, the more I miss it.”
I blink at him. “Wait, you’re not upset that I assaulted, angered, and disrespected another Don under your roof?” I ask him carefully. “Alessio was pretty pissed about it.”
Pietro reaches across the table and takes my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “ Cara , there is little you could do that would truly enrage me. It’s not an ideal situation, but the last twenty-four hours have been tense and full of emotions for you. Besides, Nico needs to be reminded of his place now and again.”
“His place?”
His eyes take on a slightly darker hue and his smile sharpens. “That he’s not as powerful as he likes to think. And considering your connection to both the De Lucas and the Carusos, well, he never will be.”
I’m not sure how to take that, but I slowly nod. “Well, I’m still going to apologize because I feel like I should.”
“Then consider it accepted, though most certainly not needed.” I relax, and he calls out when there’s a knock on the door. In walks a maid, and she sets the tray in front of us, piled high with different dishes, and then sets out a bottle of wine. “ Grazie , Eva,” Pietro says to the woman with a smile. The woman inclines her head, gives me a curious glance and then walks out, closing the door behind her. “Help yourself, cara , and then I want to know who Sienna Harris is.”
“You didn’t read my file?” I ask in surprise as I take a plate and heap it full with different options. There’s a little bit of everything here and my mouth is watering at how good it smells.
“I have, but I believe strongly that one should know someone from their own words and not what’s on a piece of paper. Too impersonal. So, tell me about you, Sienna. Anything you feel like you want to share.”
I’m hesitant at first, unsure what he could possibly want to know that he doesn’t already, so I tell him a bit about my childhood, and my journey to my career. After a while, I relax and tell him a bit more. He chuckles over some of the stories, and tsks when I tell him about some of the escapades I got into in college. When I finally finish my food, and apparently my life story, I flush. “I’m sorry, I’ve talked your ear off,” I rush out.
He waves me away. “Sienna, you will learn soon enough that when it comes to family and those that I care about, I have all the time in the world. I’ve sat many hours in this office and other places, talking to my sons, including those that aren’t mine by blood or birth, as well as the woman that I consider a daughter since I wasn’t blessed with any of my own. Gia, of course, has been added to that list, and you’ll be right there. Perhaps I can ease some of the worries on your mind as well.” He gives me a calm, but pointed look. “Because while I love my son, he’s as dense as a rock at times, and when it comes to you, it’s clear common sense leaves him.”
I smirk, unable to help myself. “Yeah, we’ve established that.” He smiles, but says nothing else, watching me patiently. I look away from him for a moment, unsure of what to ask. Finally, figuring it’s better to start with the biggest question and go from there, I say, “My biggest issue is I don’t know what I’m doing, or what I’m going to do now that this is apparently my life. I have no idea what’s expected of me, or what the rules are. I’ve obviously made a mess of them so far.”
“I think you need to cut yourself some slack. You’re acting like we expect you to know the rules immediately, when you rightfully don’t know anything. If my son was thinking clearly, he would realize that. You may be part of this life by blood, but due to circumstances beyond your control, you were raised in what sounds to be a very loving, non-mafia home. Now, you’ve been thrust into this world; maybe your birth family or another rival of ours would expect you to figure it out and deal with it, but here, we’re more patient. Mostly because we can afford to be. Give yourself a few more days before you worry about that too much, hmm?”
“Maybe I wouldn’t feel so stressed if someone told me what I’m expected to do while I’m here. Or what I’m not allowed to do. I understand the point of getting me here, and I realize I was stupid for running, but no one has said what I should be doing now that I am. Alessio made it sound like I need to marry him and settle into life here. That he expected me to marry him not long after I arrived. Is that the plan? That we get married, and then I stay locked behind these walls for the rest of my life?”
Pietro frowns at that, and then mutters something under his breath, though I can’t quite make it out. I hear Alessio’s name and what I assume is something derogatory in Italian, based on the tone. Hopefully I haven’t gotten Alessio in trouble with his father. Shit, have I fucked up again already by saying anything?
Finally, Pietro briskly moves the tray from the table and sets it on his desk, before turning back to me, his expression serious. “Sienna, my son is an idiot, and for that I’m sorry. Had I known how badly he was handling this, I would have come to retrieve you myself. Perhaps then it would have saved you some confusion. Let me start from the beginning. The only thing expected of you while you’re here is to stay on the grounds unless you are escorted by our men, though it would be preferable if you don’t leave the grounds until we have this entire situation well in hand. You are not a prisoner here, and you’re free to spend your days doing what you wish, whether that be working or spending time wandering and relaxing. We’ll get you set up with a place to work if that’s what you choose.
“As for marriage to Alessio, no one will force you into such a thing. Was there a time that it would have happened? I will not lie to you, but the times are changing for our family, and Sofia and Gia has only strengthened my resolve. If you choose to marry Alessio, it will be your choice, and I will welcome the union between the two of you happily, because as much as the two of you seem to argue and fight, it’s clear there is something between you. But that is up to you both to explore.
“This is also a time for you to learn about your family and your heritage. Because while I would love to say when this is all over you can go back to your life before, I cannot.” My heart sinks, and my shoulders slump. Rationally I know this; Alessio has said as much, but hearing Pietro sounds so final. “I am sorry, cara . I know that’s not what you want to hear, but even if it wasn’t me saying it, it would be your family that wants you to further their own agendas. I like to think that while not perfect, we are the better of the options. With us behind you, your life can be somewhat normal, though not exactly the same, in time.”
“Will someone always be after me? Even after the De Lucas are handled? Because aren’t they the main threat?”
“I’m afraid things are never so black and white in this world. You see, the De Lucas are a powerful family and they have connections across the United States, some in Italy, and even with other crime families outside of the Italian mafia. By now, no matter how hard we have worked to keep your existence quiet, the De Lucas are not cut from the same cloth. People have noticed the change in their dynamics, and even now, they’re putting the pieces together. Not only did they have one daughter marry another powerful Don in their city, and admittedly the country, but now, it’s come to their attention that another daughter has surfaced. Such a thing is unheard of in our world. Even if we take apart the De Lucas, their allies may seek to further the cause, and you, being unmarried and a De Luca by blood, would be a way for them to do that and avenge their allies. And those allies will not stop until they have achieved their goal of taking you, or until we make them, by wiping them out completely.”
My frustration rises again and I get to my feet, my body too tense and wired to keep sitting for this conversation. I’m probably breaking a rule doing this, but Pietro doesn’t seem all that concerned. “This, this is why I’m so angry and confused,” I say tightly as I pace, trying to tell myself at the same time to calm down. “Women are nothing more than a vessel. We have no worth here. It’s like we’ve been transported right back to the times before women were considered people, and it’s not even some kind of feminist movement or something I’m talking about. I doubt there are many women that want to join the ranks, so to speak, but we should be more than a hole to breed and bear children. We have our own thoughts, feelings, and dreams. Why can’t that be considered? Maybe some of us don’t want to marry or have children; maybe we have ideas that we want to feel free to speak, instead of standing idly and keeping quiet like a good little dog.”
“The mafia has never been one to change with the times. In fact, it’s downright glacially slow in a lot of things, and I do agree with you that there should be changes, especially with the women in our lives, but unfortunately I’m in the minority. There are those in the new generation of Dons who see the benefits of giving the women in their lives a choice and a voice, but that is not something that can change overnight. With enough strong women standing beside the men they marry and leading by example, perhaps things will change. And, while I myself like to consider myself a bit more progressive, I can admit old habits die hard and most of them will not happen with me.”
“I just…I can’t seem to let that part of it go. And I know it’s because I still don’t understand completely how things work, but every part of me is screaming that if I accept it, I’ll lose that part of myself.”
“Time changes all things in our lives, whether we’re ready for it or not. I know how it feels to have what you thought was your life yanked away from you in an instant.” A darkness crosses his expression, but then it clears. “But I adapted, and so will you. And something tells me that you won’t lose as much of yourself as you think. You are a stubborn one, Sienna, and you have a spirit in you I can’t see you allowing to be broken. Will there be struggles and things that will fester and build until you’re sure you can’t take it anymore? Of course, but you will, in time, come to accept it or change it to suit what you need. That is the sign of a strong woman, and you are by far one of the strongest I’ve known.” He gives me a teasing smile. “Which is exactly why I’m enjoying the way you keep my son on his toes.”
“You won’t be saying that if he pisses me off enough that I kill him in his sleep.”
Pietro grins in amusement; an odd reaction, considering I just threatened to murder his son. “If he upsets you to that point, then perhaps he’s deserved it. And if he lets you kill him that easily, well, then I suppose he would believe he deserves it. A piece of advice my father gave me, and I’ve passed on to all my sons, is never trust a woman not to kill you in your sleep. Women can be vengeful creatures, just as they can be sweet; all it takes is one wrong step and they will exact that revenge.”
“Sounds like your father was a smart man.”
He gives me a wry smile. “He was a brute that loved to beat on his sons to toughen them up, but he had a healthy fear of my mother. The woman threw a knife at his head for stepping on her clean floors with his dirty, bloody boots. And she was very well trained with a knife, so he knew she only missed him by mere inches on purpose. If she wanted to kill him, he would have been dead. But after that, he never again walked into the house with dirty boots.”
I gape at him. “So, what you’re saying is the practice of threatening one’s partner with death is a genetic inheritance?”
He snorts out a laugh. “One could say so. It could also be said that Italian women in general are known for their tempers and passion. And you will be no different, Sienna. That fire in your belly will grow and be passed on to your children, who will be as strong and powerful as you. I hope that I’m around long enough to see it.”
“Are you saying that because you want me to marry your son?”
He shrugs, not denying it. “I think that if you marry Alessio, you will alleviate something inside my gut that worries for my son and the responsibilities that will fall to him when I retire or die. I also think that you are exactly what he needs. But if you decide Alessio is not the man for you, then so be it. And back to my earlier statement: when I say marriage and why it would be an ideal situation, it would mean protection for you. Both from your family, but also from our own enemies that might see you as a prize to take and use against your family or us. Or even Nico and his own territory, since you’re connected to him through his wife. The Caruso name carries much weight in all corners of the world, and few will ever dare go against us because of it. But I can understand if that is not something that you want, so I’ll make you a promise. If, once things are settled and we have dealt with the De Lucas, you still cannot handle it, I will assist you in trying to give you as normal a life as I can, though I cannot work miracles.”
“Why? Why would you offer that?”
He just smiles and doesn’t reply as the office door is thrown open, and Alessio stalks inside, looking pissed off until he sees me and relaxes. His gaze goes to his father and then to me as he strides further into the room. “Is everything alright?” he asks as he approaches me cautiously, almost as if he’s afraid I’m going to bolt. “I woke up and you were gone.”
“I wanted something to eat, but ended up here when I got lost. Your father was kind enough to feed me and keep me company.” I look at Pietro. “Thank you.” There’s a wealth of meaning in those two words, and with a slight incline of his head, Pietro lets me know he understands.
I have a lot to think about. Because, Pietro is right, my life is different now even if I’m not ready for it.
Alessio regards me, brow furrowing with concern, but thankfully he doesn’t press. Though I think that has more to do with his father being here than anything else. Instead, he pulls me into him and presses a kiss to my forehead. I stiffen but he ignores it and says, “Sofia was looking for you. She was saying something about doing some training with Gia.” He gives me a questioning look.
“Gia wants to learn some self-defence so I agreed to help her,” I tell him as I pull away. His eyes flash with irritation at the move, but he releases me. “I guess I should go and find her.”
Alessio pulls out his phone. “I’ll text her so she can come and collect you. Better than you getting lost again and missing each other.”
“While they are busy with that, we need to discuss some things, Alessio,” Pietro says briskly, moving behind his desk. Gone is the easy-going man that had a meal with me; he’s back to the Don in charge. It’s fascinating to watch the change.
Alessio nods, his expression serious. “Yes, Papa. I’m going to walk Sienna to meet Sofia, then I’ll be back.”
“Good. And summon Aurelio and Nico. This will involve them.” He dismisses Alessio without another glance, but his expression softens when he looks back at me. “If you ever need another chat, Sienna, please know that my door is always open to you and you are never a bother.” I nod, and he sits back down, picking up the phone on his desk.
Alright, I guess we’re done.
Alessio puts a hand on the small of my back and gently nudges me toward the door. I need to think over what Pietro said, but right now, a good workout is just what I need. Maybe after that I’ll have a clearer head. Though something tells me the longer I’m around Alessio, the more clouded my head is going to become.