Chapter 2
Chapter two
I’m soaking in a much-needed bath surrounded by bubbles and lavender-scented bath beads. This week has been tough on my soul, especially knowing what’s coming up.
I need to stop. I need to be a better friend.
But I’m not, and I won’t. I physically can’t.
I’ve looked forward to this long soak of pity and self-loathing all week, and nothing can disrupt my self-imposed me time. That is, until I hear my phone ping and, based on the text tone, I know it’s the group chat.
I really hope that it means something went excitingly wrong tonight instead of horribly right.
I’m the worst type of person.
I stand, grab my phone from the vanity, and settle back into the warm suds before tapping my message app.
THE THRILLER QUEENS
Teagan
So Josh and I almost broke up tonight. He was seriously pissed at me.
Capri
Oh shit! Are you okay? Do you want me to slash his tires? Because you know I will.
Lexi
Let’s not get arrested.
But seriously. Are you okay, T?
Teagan
I’m great, actually. Literally so great. I just feel like the worst girlfriend ever and he deserves so much better than me.
Capri
First off, you deserve the world so I don’t want to hear any of that ‘he deserves better’ crap. OKAY? But what happened?
Teagan
I’m sort of embarrassed to tell you guys…
Capri
Spill it!!!
Teagan
We listen and we don’t judge, right?
Lexi
Of course
Capri
What’s said in the thriller queens, stays in the thriller queens! Now SPILL!
Teagan
I forgot about our anniversary.
Lexi
Wow. Even I knew that it was today…
Capri
HEY WE LISTEN AND DON’T JUDGE LEX
Lexi
Okay, okay. I’m sorry. And you guys didn’t break up because of that??
Teagan
It was pretty touch and go there for a minute and I didn’t think I’d be able to fix it. He told me he was done if I didn’t start putting him first.
Capri
Well…I hate to be the adult here, but that sounds reasonable.
Teagan
I know! Which is why I said he deserves better than me. I might need to start putting less time into the podcast until things really simmer down. He hates that I spend so much time on it.
Capri
But you guys made up, right?
Teagan
Yeah, after I had to chase him down and literally crashed into him on the elevator. I promised him I’d do better and he forgave in the best way possible…if you know what I mean LOL.
Teagan
We’ve also made plans to go to Hawaii in two weeks to really celebrate. He’s taking time off from work and everything!
Capri
TEAGAN! I am so here for it. Show that boy what he’ll be missing if he leaves you, you little minx.
Lexi
What about the podcast? We can’t record if you’re in Hawaii for two weeks…
Capri
Don’t rain on her parade, Lex! We can pre-record everything before she leaves. It’s no biggie! You guys would do the same for me if I needed it!
Teagan
Good point, Lex! I’ll plan the next two episodes out and we can get them done before I leave. All you ladies have to do is show up and talk trash with me LOL. Plus, Josh might kill me if I worked during our anniversary trip so let’s get it done early!
Oops, gtg! Tall, dark, and epically handsome just turned the shower off! Want to meet up for lunch tomorrow and we can discuss the details?
Capri
You had me at food.
Lexi
Yep
Teagan
Thanks for being my people. Love you both so dang much.
Capri
Love youuuuuu
Lexi
Love you
I toss my phone onto the plush pink rug and sink back into the warm embrace of lavender with a smile plastered on my face.
I truly am the worst friend in the world.
The plan was to sit in this bath and mope about my broken heart, but now I can’t help but feel this rush of excitement flood my veins. I hurry through the motions of scrubbing my body and meticulously shaving everywhere.
He didn’t propose to her.
But he did stay with her.
As soon as I step out of the draining tub and don my silk robe, the wave of emotions I feel about all of this makes me dizzy, and I grab onto the marble sink to catch myself.
What does she have that I don’t?
I stare into the oval mirror and really look at myself. My blonde hair is limp around my face, dripping water from the ends down the bare skin of my cleavage. My lips twist into a scowl before I quickly run a brush through the damp strands, before twisting it into a bun.
Teagan has gorgeous, thick, dark brunette hair that is the envy of our friend group.
She doesn’t have to spend an hour each morning to get the frizz tamed and perfectly curled into soft waves like I do.
Her hair is naturally just perfect. I swear she once told me she hardly even brushes it, yet it still looks like she walked straight out of a Vogue magazine.
I open my vanity drawer, pull out my face cream, and dab it around my eyes before gently rubbing it in, applying it where the wrinkles are more defined around my bright blue eyes.
They are the one thing I have on Teagan.
Her eyes are the darkest shade of brown, with absolutely no sparkle, unlike mine.
Someone told me I had Disney princess eyes when I was a kid.
I never expected to grow up and fill the villain’s shoes.
Before continuing down that rabbit hole of comparison, I hear a soft knock at my front door.
Could it really be him?
I quickly apply a mist of my favorite jasmine perfume before I head into the living room to answer.
My heart is pounding with excitement, tinged with an ounce of regret as I place my hand on the knob.
I shouldn’t do this. I told myself the last time was the last time.
But I’ve never been one to listen to reason.
Twisting the door handle, I pull my lips into a playful smirk as I pull it open. The person on the other side is not who I was expecting, though, and I gasp in surprise as I’m met with a bouquet of red roses in the hands of a stranger.
I hastily pull my robe closer to my chest to cover myself. “Umm, who are you?”
“Are you Lexi Casburn?”
I nod my head at the man.
“Well then, these are for you.” He thrusts the bouquet into my hands. “Enjoy the rest of your night, Miss.”
I’m confused and unsettled as I watch him leave down the steps and into his small hatchback car parked in my driveway. It isn’t until he’s turned off the street and completely out of sight that I finally go back inside and lock the door behind me.
Who sent me flowers?
Turning the bouquet in circles, I search for a card, but there isn’t one. I inhale their familiar aroma as I head to my kitchen with the flowers cradled carefully in my arms in search of a vase for them.
I don’t know who sent them or why, but I’ve never been one to let something beautiful go to waste.
Too bad I’m not something more beautiful.
He would have never seen me as a second choice if I were. He would have picked me.
I find a vase in the back of my overly cluttered cabinets and stick the roses in before adding water. I slide them to the middle of my kitchen island and then pour myself a large glass of Pinot.
I stare at the roses as I sip at my wine. They really are perfect. Each bud is close to blooming, but hasn’t quite opened yet. It’s been so long since I’ve received flowers—since I’ve received a gift from a man.
The men in my life only leave me broken.
I glance up at the photographs sitting above my fireplace.
There are so many of Teagan, Capri, and me.
All happy, smiling, being silly in love with each other’s friendship.
My gaze lingers on a photo with our whole group at my birthday last month, and I walk over and pick it up.
Capri and Lee are on one side of me, and Teagan and Josh are on the other as they hold up a giant chocolate cake covered in pink frosting.
My name is spelled out with those cute letter candles, and we all have huge smiles.
It shouldn’t hurt this much to see them together.
The frame comes apart easily from the back, allowing me to slip the photo free and bring it closer to my face. I look so happy here. You’d never guess I was burning with jealousy from the inside out.
Teagan and Josh only have eyes for each other in the photo. She has a giant smile as she looks at him, and he is caught mid-laugh at whatever she says to him.
The photo rips easily under my fingers as I tear it apart into neat strips. I place the piece of Capri and Lee back on the mantle and carry the rest to the couch.
I stare at the piece of Teagan and Josh. I should be happy for them, for the love she finally found for herself.
But I’m not.
I take a large gulp of my wine before I rip them away from each other and ball one half of the photo into my fist before tossing it towards the kitchen. I’ll throw it away later.
Forcing the only two pieces of the photograph I left together, I can’t help but smile. Instead of Josh laughing at something Teagan said, he’s standing with me.
He only has eyes for me now.
The way it should be.
He said he was going to propose tonight. The fact that he didn’t causes a blossom of hope to bloom inside me.
Maybe like my new roses, he’ll make me bloom in time, too.
I’m a horrible person and an even worse friend—I really am. But the heart wants what the heart wants, and all I want is Teagan out of the way so I can finally have Josh the way I deserve him.